Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on "Keep the Change" (2001)?

Here's what's on the "Keep the Change" CD:

Story of a Squirrel ("Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" by Nine Days)
Monkey Scheme ("Theme from 'The Monkees'" by the Monkees)
Christmasnite ("Kryptonite" by Three Doors Down)
Bethlehemian Rhapsody ("Bohemian Rhapsody" )
Stay in the Light ("Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees)
Old Time Romans Road ("Old Time Rock & Roll" Bob Seger)
The Real Sin Savior ("The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem)
Babylona ("My Sharona" by the Knack)
Daniel ("Daniel" by Elton John)
All the Stalls Stink ("All the Small Things" by Blink 182
Cheap Birds ("Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd)
Mama Told Me (What's to Come) ("Mama Told Me (Not to Come) by Three Dog
Night)
Manger ("Angel" by Shaggy with Rayvon)
Be Bold Jeremiah ("Jet Airliner" by the Steve Miller Band)
Ballad of Jesus and Yahweh ("The Ballad of John and Yoko" by the Beatles)
Rock and Roots ("Rock and Roll" by Led Zeppelin)
Simp Liztik ("Nookie" by Limp Bizkit)
You Booked Me All Along ("You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC)
Life Restored ("Last Resort" by Papa Roach)

LYRICS

Story of a Squirrel
Parody of "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" Performed by Nine Days and Written By John C. Hampson
(Genesis 6-8, 2 Peter 2:5, 3:3-9, Matt. 24:37-39, Heb.11:7)

This is the story of a squirrel
Whom God preserved when He drowned the whole world
And while things looked so dark and Noah's ark
Was absolutely flooded -- yet she's fine
How many days were they there?
Afloat in the boat it was over one year
And how come the world didn't prepare?
Meteorologists said it would clear
How could they stand that raining?
Where was the hope in the souls of the crew?
Life on the waves is severe
When it's Gilligan's Island combined with a zoo
But Noah was aware the world would get sprayed
And the rain would never fall in quite the same way
But two of every creature would come out of things O.K.
This is the story of a squirrel
Whom God preserved when He drowned the whole world
And while things looked so bad and Noah's raft
Was absolutely flooded -- yet she's fine
Have they discovered the place
Where the boat came to rest when the rain was all drained?
Why don't we climb up its face?
Walk up the mountain from Genesis 8?
It's probably still there waiting
There in the snow in the cold altitude
How do we get there today
When you walk into Turkey and hiking's refused?
They've closed up the Ararat Mountains these days
There's terrorists there besides -- it ain't safe
And they're 17,000 feet high -- I think we'll wait
This is the story of a squirrel
Whom God preserved when He drowned the whole world
And while she took no bath and those giraffes
Were absolutely stubborn -- yet she's fine
Well, you're told to prepare as well and get saved
And the end of the world it might be on the way
But you'd never think you'd run out of time today
This is the story of a squirrel
Whom God preserved when He drowned the whole world
And when we look close at Jehovah's wrath I absolutely shudder
This is the story of a squirrel
I tried to sing it about the old girl
But all this went so fast -- I've noticed that
I accidentally snubbed her -- yet she's fine -- Oh, yes, she's fine

Matthew 24:37
As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.

Monkey Scheme
Parody of "Theme From the Monkees" performed by the Monkees and written by Tommy Boyce & Bobby Hart
(Romans 1:18-32)

Here they come -- talkin' down at me
I get the funniest looks 'cause -- I said I don't believe
They say we were monkeys
They think they're sayin' something profound
But where's their missing link at?
There weren't any bodies found
They built a man from a hog's tooth -- They called a lie the truth
And any time they get busted -- They sell you something new
They say we were monkeys
I think that they've been monkeyin' around
Cause they're too busy changin' their books and their studies 'round
They're just tryin' to defend it -- they got a lot to re-explain
Where they've done excavation -- they keep uncoverin' mistakes
Any time -- or anywhere -- Just look over the boulders
You'll see that man's been there
They say we were monkeys
I think their heads are stuck in the ground
Cause they're too busy diggin' and putting the Bible down
SPOKEN:
Java Man was the skull of a gibbon
Nebraska Man was the tooth of a pig and
The Piltdown Man was a lowdown sham
They built that man from an organutan
Ramapithicus wasn't complete
He's a fragment of jaw and a couple of teeth
Additional skeletons show us today
That he isn't our relative -- only an ape
Australapithicus alias Lucy
The fossil of this is just vague and confusing
The wonderful knee bone they're proud to possess
Was 200 feet deeper -- a mile from the rest
Neanderthal Man was prob'ly deficient
In Vitamin D or it might've been rickets
But he had religion and musical instruments
Fire and tools and from you he's no different
They say we were monkeys
But people came from dust in the ground
But they're too busy thinkin' to look into what we've found
They're just kinda pretending, but I know why they seem afraid
If we come from creation, you need God's son to be saved
They say we were monkeys but there was no evidence found
Still you'd better get ready -- They'll make it up anyhow

Romans 1:25
They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator -- who is forever praised.


Christmasnite
Parody of "Kryptonite" performed by Three Doors Down and written by B. Arnold, M. Roberts & T. Harrell
(Matthew 2:1-12)

I took a walk around the world to see Your promised sign
I left my buddies laughin' somewhere in the sand behind
I watch the world glow to the dark light of the moon
I see another light in view
I walk the world but to a star's light not the moon
After all I knew it had to be something to do with You
I really don't mind not havin' my old friends
As long as You'll meet me in Bethlehem
If I'm a crazy man, well, You still called me through the sand
If I'm a wise man, well, then You prepared the gold in my hand
I'll keep Your light in sight, with my search for You, it's like
Christmas night
You called me strongly from the East
But still, Lord Jesus, I'm no king
You took this planet by surprise whenever You came down
You stunned all them in Bethlehem
I caught Your beacon to these men
I picked it up and took my map and started out
CHORUS

Matthew 2:1
After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem ...

Bethlehemian Rhapsody
Parody of "Bohemian Rhapsody" Peformed by Queen and Written by Freddie Mercury
(1 Samuel 17)

Is this a real guy? Is he just fantasy?
'Cause of his grand size, no one's safe from fatality
Open your eyes, look up at Goliath, and see:
GOLIATH
I'm dressed for war, boys. I need no infantry
Because I'll meet the one you propose
Israelites, pick my foe
Anyway, I'll win, so it doesn't really matter to me
DAVID
Mama, there's still no man who can come against this threat
You might figure now we're dead
Mama, Goliath is testing us
And know he's gonna know they're all afraid
Mama, ooh ooh ooh, he's a mean and crazy guy
He'll come right back again this time tomorrow
Scaring us, scaring us -- cause he wants to meet in battle
Hooray! My time has come
Been a shepherd all my life -- but I'm taking on this giant
Goodbye, everybody -- but not for long
God will lead me all the while I face this brute
C'mon! Ooh ooh ooh!
(David you're a wimp though) I'm not gonna die
The One who wins my battles is Lord of all
GOLIATH
I see a little silly shepherd — not a man
What are you tryin' to prove? You'll be chewed up and mangled!
Send a boy to fight me? Very, very tiny flea!
DAVID
Gol-la-liath! Gol-la-liath! Gonna die you big galoot!
I'll kick your butt!
I trust the Lord but nobody trusts me
CROWD
He trusts the Lord, but suffers from insanity
Daring to fight 'gainst this monstrosity
DAVID
Evil comes, evil goes -- You will get deposed
GOLIATH
I will not, no! I will not get deposed
DAVID
Yes, you will (Repeat)
Your head will roll
GOLIATH
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Come-to-me-a! Come-to-me-a! Let the eagles pick your bones
Beelzebub and his devils gonna fight for me for me for me
DAVID
So you think you can scorn me and spit at my tribe?
So you think you're above me just based on your size?
Oh, baby ... you ain't just duelin' David
You're gonna get it now -- cause God'll win my battle here
CROWD
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
DAVID
Guys I'm really flattered — yet it wasn't me
God wins every battle — God wins every battle for me
VOICE
David will be king soon

1 Samuel 17:12a
Now David was the son of an Ephrathite named Jesse, who was from Bethlehem in Judah.


Stay in the Light
Parody of "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees and written by Barry Gibb, Maurice Gibb & Robin Gibb
(Psalm 119:105, Eph. 5:8, 1 John 1:7)

Well you can tell by the way I used to walk
I was once a man with no time for God
Knew about the risen Lord
But didn't check Him out till I got bored
And then I saw the light; I got saved
I used to look for other ways
But given time, I'd understand
I knew the Bible had the plan
Whether you're in trouble or livin' in a bubble
You stay in the light, say in the light
Even when you're shaken you're never God-forsaken
Just stay in the light, stay in the light
Ah, ah, ah, ah stay in the light, stay in the light
Ah, ah, ah, ah stay in the light
Well, the Bible was divinely inspired
And if you can't believe it, you need to try
Got the things of Heaven all can use
And a plan for man where you just can't lose
You now, it's all right, it's O.K.
He'll let you be your stubborn way
But Jesus Christ is comin', man
I know your times are in His hands
Whether you're in trouble or livin' in a bubble
You stay in the light, say in the light
Even when you're shaken you'll never fall to Satan
If you stay in the light, stay in the light
Ah, ah, ah, ah stay in the light, stay in the light
Ah, ah, ah, ah stay in the light
I'm gonna show ya Psalm hundred-nineteen
The Bible is your lamp
I'm gonna show ya the Bible is your lamp
So stay in the light!
Well you can tell by the way I used to walk
I was once a man with no time for God
And you may doubt that it's for sure
But I'm a Christian now since I'm reborn
And now, it's all right, it's O.K.
And you may look for other ways
You need the light to understand
So use your Bible as your lamp
Whether you're in trouble or livin' in a bubble
You stay in the light, say in the light
Even when you're shaken Ephesians 5 verse 8 says
Just stay in the light, stay in the light
Ah, ah, ah, ah stay in the light, stay in the light
Ah, ah, ah, ah stay in the light
I'm gonna show ya Psalm hundred-nineteen
The Bible is your lamp
I'm gonna show ya the Bible is your lamp
So stay in the light!

Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

Old Time Romans Road
Parody of "Old Time Rock and Roll" Perfomed by Bob Seger and Written by George Jackson & Thomas Jones
(Romans 3:10, 3:23, 5:8, 5:12, 6:23, 8:1, 10:9)

Just take those old directions off the shelf
I'm sending us into the Bible Belt
To take you the way God can save souls
I'll ride that old time Romans Road
Don't try to take me to a different road
You'll never even get me -- I'll never go
But take me on the highway straight for the Lord
I like that old time Romans Road
Still like that old time Romans Road
That avenue it just saves your soul
I rev my engines down the streets of gold
With that old time Romans Road
Oh!
GUITAR LEAD
Although I hear the way is narrow
All other avenues are bumpy old roads
There's only one sure way to get me to God
That way's the old time Romans Road
Romans 3:23 is what you read
Then Romans 5:8 then verse 6:23
Then take Romans 10:9 to save your soul
And that's the old time Romans Road
Still like that old time Romans Road
That avenue it just saves your soul
I read a missive 'bout the faith of old
It's that old time Romans Road
ORGAN LEAD
Still like that old time Romans Road
That avenue it just saves your soul
I read a missive 'bout the faith of old
It's that old time Romans Road
Still like that old time Romans Road
That avenue it just saves your soul
I rev my engines down the streets of gold
With that old time Romans Road
Still like that old time Romans Road
That avenue it just saves your soul
I read a missive 'bout the faith of old
It's that old time Romans Road
Still like that old time Romans Road

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.


The Real Sin Savior
Parody of "The Real Slim Shady" performed by Eminem and written by Marshall Mathers, Andre Young & M. Bradford
(Rom. 3:10, 3:23, 5:8, 6:20, 6:23, 8:1, 10:9, 13, Ps. 51:5, 17, John 8:36, 1 Timothy 1:15)

May I have your repentance please?
May I have your repentance please?
Will you tell Him "Save me" and please stand up?
I repeat ... will you tell Him "Save me" and please stand up?
We're gonna have to prod them here
Y'all act like you never seen a nice person before
You oughta hope in the Lord
Your panting tongue is just thirstin' for more
You started lookin' around searchin' cause you're
Uncertain you're sure you know where you're goin' eternally
If you return to God ... ah, wait, no, wait, we're sinning
We couldn't get saved with the things we did, can we?
And Dr. J. says -- nothing you did is such a grave sin
It costs you salvation
Ha Ha — Heavenly livin's above every man
"Chick-a-chick-a-chick-a he's crazy!
I'm sick of them 'born agains'
Walkin' around askin' if you know God — speakin' of You Know Who
Yeah, but there's no proof though"
Yeah, probably got a couple of you who think I lack proof
But no worse than what's goin' on in America's classrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just spread the truth
But can't -- but the school can tell me we come from evolution
"My mama was a fish -- my mama was a fish
"And if we're monkeys you might as well forget original sin!"
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to question on their own if God exists
Of course they're gonna wonder if the Lord's fake
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Easter Bunny and Santa don't they?
We ain't shinin' examples
Well some of the scandals are caused by people posin' as evangelists
But if Jesus loved His enemies and Pharisees
Then there's no reason that you can't get another chance and believe
But if you feel a slight chill -- I got the anti-freeze
This is not a fantasy -- it's important and it's free
I've sinned greatly, but Christ's for real, baby
It's a wonder He saved me and just didn't hate me
So won't you tell Him "Save me"
Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
Yes, I've been crazy, yes, I've been real shady
Always wanted Him to save me, but just didn't say it
So won't you tell Him "Save me"
Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
Will Smith don't gotta discuss the Christian path to salvation
Well, I do -- it affects him and affects you too
You think I give a care of he likes my parodies
Half of you kiddies won't even look at me, let alone stare at me
But J., what if we pray? Wouldn't we be weird?
Why? Would you guys reject Christ just to fit with your peers
So you can live in fear for the next 60 years
This ain't imaginary better get prepared
The price of sin yes it costs us dearly with death first
And when that part is over if you ain't saved it gets much worse
Little chance they'll put me now on MTV
Yeah, it's true, but I think he'd scare all the kids -- ree ree!
I said now's when they oughta know and John 3:3
It shows the whole world how they need born again to be free
I'm singin' you little girls and boys spoofs
All you do is ignore me
Though I have been sent here to inform you
And there's a million of us just like me you judge like me
Were just like triple fudge ice cream; we're just quite sweet
You watch Saul in Acts 9:3
You just might see you're just like him -- You're not fightin' me
I've sinned greatly, but Christ He still saved me
From a hundred temptations and death, sin and Hades
So won't you tell Him "Save me"
Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
Yes, my sinned shamed me, yet I've been healed lately
God the Father forgave me from messin' with Satan
So won't you tell Him "Save me"
Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
I'm like a breath mint you listen to but I'm only givin' you
Things you thought about in your head with my religious group
The only difference is I got the call to say it in front of y'all
And I don't gotta be Paul -- the Book I quote has it all
I just get out a Bible and read it and whether you like it you need it
As sure as I can see that better than 90 percent of you happen to doubt me
Then you wonder how can kids give up their values I tell you it's funny
Cause at the place I'm goin' when I'm buried
I'll see the only person in the world I know who's worthy
He's the first and last and I'm J. Jackson I'm the worst
And I'm a jerk and Jesus knows that but my braggin' wasn't workin'
And every single person needs a sin savior urgently
You could be working on a burglary or sittin' in a nunnery
Or keepin' part of the law perfectly screamin' "I don't sin that much"
Puttin' Christians down sayin' "It's just a crutch"
So if you're still waiting please stand up
Cause this wonderful singer's time is eaten up
And it's time to get off your behind and out of the row
Come on down -- now is your chance -- how do I know?
CHORUS
I guess there's a sin Savior for all of us Let's all stand up

1 Timothy 1:15
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners -- of whom I am the worst.

Babylona
Parody of "My Sharona" performed by the Knack and written by Doug Fieger and Berton Averre
(Daniel 3)

Ooh my little city was pretty tough
When it was the kingdom called Babylona
Ooh, I made a golden god -- and told the mob
Got to come and bow before my persona
Everybody dropped, givin' up
Such a pretty sight, they all were givin' up
All the town, 'cept three Israelites
Why, why, why, why, why?! Whoa!
Ba-ba-ba-babylona
Called the little jokers up -- said "Bring 'em up
Close enough to look in my fire's aroma!
Hebrew children, listen to me, you're dissin' me
Come and bow or simmer like Rice-a-rona!"
"Never gonna drop," they said "We're not
"Such important guys, but God will get us out!"
Told the guards, "Throw them in the fire!"
Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye! Whoa!
Ba-ba-ba-babylona
Ba-ba-ba-babylona
Said to throw them into the rotisserie
Sizzlin' like a platter of fried bologna
"Kids you're just a recipe, so rest in peace!"
But they didn't burst in flames and die -- why? Don't knowa
Never would have thought they'd live at all
Such a burnin' fire -- I saw them with their God
Called them out -- Now they're friends of mine
My, my, my, my, my! Whoa!

Daniel 3:19
Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual ...

Daniel
Parody of "Daniel" Performed by Elton John and written by Elton John & Bernie Taupin
(Daniel 6)

Daniel's with lions tonight in a cave
I can see their red pale eyes testin' his faith
Oh, and I can see Daniel waitin' to die
God, it looks like Daniel -- won't be around in my life
They say it's a pity though I can't intervene
Daniel, just was the best slave who ever served this king
Oh, and, even so, I can't change the law
Lord, I'll miss Daniel -- Oh, I'll miss him so much
Oh oh oh -- Daniel, my governor
You are bolder than me -- do you still feel so brave?
Are you more than a meal?
You're wise and kind -- but you face roarin' lions
Daniel, will they starve? Will your faith save your life?
LEAD
Oh oh oh -- Daniel, my governor
You are bolder than me -- will you still be the same
When tomorrow is here?
Will I start cryin' -- will you see mornin' light?
Daniel, it's so hard -- I'm afraid that you'll die
Daniel's with lions tonight in a cave
I can see an Israelite's just what they crave
Oh, and, I can see Daniel prayin' for life
God, if You like Daniel
Just stay around him tonight
Oh, God, if You like Daniel
Just keep him out of those lions

Daniel 6:18-19
Then the king returned to his palace and spent the night without eating and without any entertainment being brought to him. And he could not sleep. At the first light of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lion's den.

All the Stalls Stink
Parody of "All the Small Things" Performed by Blink 182 and written by Mark Hoppus & Tom DeLonge
(Genesis 6-8)

All the stalls stink -- Two bears, two pigs
I'll take one whiff -- Before I get sick
Wallabies, rhinos -- you'll see on my boat
Watch me straightening -- the mess they're making
Save your raincoat -- I will not go
Where's the Lysol? -- carry me the soap
Na-na--na-na-na-Noah-na-na-na
Na-na--na-na-na-Noah-na-na-na
Hey guys uh oh
There's a skunk — I know
She left the odor by the stairs
She likes to let me know she's scared
Save your raincoat -- I will not go
Here's a nice thought — Camels need Scope
Na-na--na-na-na-Noah-na-na-na
Na-na--na-na-na-Noah-na-na-na
LEAD
Save your raincoat -- I will not go
First I'll wipe off — a pair of hippos
Keep the boat still — I've been sorta ill
I might just throw up — in all this swill
Save your raincoat -- I will not go
Worldwide flood -- very big boat
We should just chill -- trust the Lord still
And life will go on -- and life will go on
I know it will

Genesis 6:20
"Two of every kind of bird, of every kind of animal, and of every kind of creature that moves along the ground will come to you to be kept alive."


Cheap Birds
Parody of "Free Bird" performed by Lynyrd Skynyrd and written by Allen Collins & Ronnie Van Zant
(Matt. 6:26-34, 10:29-31; Luke 12:6-7, 24-32)

You do not need to fear tomorrow
Would you still remember please
That God must keep track of sparrows
And there's so many ravens God's got to feed
But if God takes care of bluebirds
He'll bless you and me the same
Cause I'm not cheap like a bird now
And I'm born for better things
And I'm worth more than odd change
And I'm worth more than I think
The Lord knows everything
I find faith from listenin' to Jesus -- yeah, yeah
When nervous feelings I can't shake
So please don't take this for granted
Cause the Lord knows all your needs
But this Bible states here in Luke 12
He'll get food for me today
Cause I'm not cheap like a bird now
And I'm born for better things
And I'm worth more than odd change
And I'm worth more than I think
The Lord knows everything
The Lord helps me -- find the way
Oh, night and day
The Lord provides -- for cheap birds, yeah

Luke 12:6
"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God."

God Has Told Me (What's To Come)
Parody of "Mama Told Me (Not to Come)" performed by Three Dog Night and written by Randy Newman
(Leviticus 20:27, Deuteronomy 18:10-12, 29:29)

Want some gypsies in your wallet? Sugar, can't you see?
What's on this T.V. station is blasphemy
I think the craziest part is that celebrity
Don't turn on the psychics -- I don't wanna see
God has told me what's to come
God has told me what's to come
That ain't the way that it's done — no, uh uh
You're phonin' up the weirdos -- get some prayer into this room
Their crystal ball is broken -- but there's still a spell on you
And that psychic friend you spoke with -- has sales he has to get
Open up your wallet, sucker -- credit, cash or check?!!
God has told me what's to come
God has told me what's to come
That ain't the way that it's done, son
I've read the Revelation — oh yeah!
They don't know what's happ'nin' -- someone's knockin' at the door
You're lookin' for a real friend -- He's passed this way before
They've seen so many things -- but they ain't never seen the Lord
And if you don't repent -- you ain't gonna see Him no more
God has told me what's to come
God has told me what's to come
He said, that ain't the way that it's done, son
Don't mess with divination
God has told me lots of phonies gonna come who wanna snow me
With divination -- whoa yeah yeah
God has told me not to talk with a diviner
God has told me ... the truth
CHORUS

Leviticus 20:27
A man or woman who is a medium or spiritist among you must be put to death. You are to stone them; their blood will be on their own heads.

Manger
Parody of "Angel" performed by Shaggy (featuring Rayvon) and written by Steve Miller, A. Ertegun, E. Curtis & Chip Taylor
(Luke 2:7)

Girl, use my manger for your darling angel
Cozier than my sheep you ought to be, Mary
Showed you my stable -- for my farming animals
Girl, you must spend the night with these, maybe
Life is one big party when there's children
But whose gonna have a bed for your small son?
It's all good that you're little one's near but
Can't find a room -- crud! Water broke and now what?
You can rush out to the place I mentioned
Spend the night save the money for the rent and
Keep him there through your entire vacation
You won't need reservations -- my barn's pretty vacant
Girl, use my manger for your darling baby
Over where Bo Peep would want to be, Mary
Sure, use my stable -- it's a charming place and
Girl you'll make friends with cows and sheep, maybe
Sure it's clean and that's how you should be treated
Though you'd better get another one in Egypt
Ruler of Bethlehem is conceited
Take it from me kid: if he comes, beat it!
But he's not gonna come tonight; there's no problem
Not till talkin' to some wise men; Herod's so dumb
But the free room that I have for you is ho hum
He could search for so long and still never see your son
Girl, use my manger for your darling baby
Clothe Him with white sheets or else he'll freeze, Mary
Showed you my stable -- what are all these angels?
Girl, I might end up on my knees, maybe
Girl, there's probably gonna be a crowd
So let me see your child -- He must be sent from up above
And He appears to be so tender and so nice and friendly
I think He's givin' me a hug
Girl, there's probably gonna be a crowd
So let me see your child -- He must be sent from up above
And He appears to be so tender and so like the shepherds
I'm thankin' Heaven He has come
Tonight it's one big party 'cause it's God's son
But you'd better watch your back when it's all done
It's all good that your little one's here but
Can't be a fool, hon -- what about the law, mon?
You can call on divine intervention
But shiny light gives you very much attention
It could lead to my incarceration
I wanna tell the nations, but I think I'll wait some
REPEAT SECOND CHORUS, THIRD CHORUS

Luke 2:7
and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.


(Be Bold) Jeremiah
Parody of "Jet Airliner" performed by the Steve Miller Band and written by Paul Pena
(Jeremiah 1:17)

Even though, I wasn't bold
I didn't doubt the Lord
I didn't know what to think when He came
And said, Speak to them all my words
But my Lord, I speak so horribly
And I feel like I'm far too young
Somebody else should take my place
You know that God told me to move along
Whoa! Be bold, Jeremiah
Don't let them see you are afraid
Whoa! Be bold, Jeremiah
Let them hear what I've got to say
Prophesied to all my friends and foes
Prophesied to people I'd just met
They all threw me out and said go away
It might be 'cause I prophesied their destruction
But my Lord keeps callin' me back there
As I get on with servin' my sentence
Prophesyin' -- got tears in my eyes
You know that God said, Go and tell them all to
Get repentant
CHORUS
Dungeon bound they threw me in the ground
Until the king pulled me out
I've got to keep on preachin' on
They all said, Big deal, he's a prisoner now!
And I'm hopin' for some visitation
You know but I can surely see
That I don't want to get cut off whenever
Punishment's comin' down on this city
CHORUS 3X
Be bold, Jeremiah -- Carry the news I spoke
Be bold, Jeremiah -- And prepare them for Babylon

Jeremiah 1:17
"Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them."

Ballad of Jesus & Yahweh
Parody of "Ballad of John & Yoko" performed by the Beatles and written by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
(John 1:1, 1:14, 8:24, 14:6, 1 Tim. 3:16, Isaiah 43-44, Titus 2:13, 2 Peter 1:1, Hebrews 1:8, 1 John 5:6-8, 20, Romans 9:5, Acts 20:28)

Standin' there, they knock at your doorstep
Tryin' to make you part of their plan
They hand you a tract, say they wanna come back
You know, they said that Jesus just was a man
Christ is more than a teacher
I know He's God -- can't you see
The way that I know is:
There's lots of proof when I read
Titus 2:13 says that Jesus
Is our God and savior so great
Peter and Paul say the same thing by the way
You can check Second Peter 1:1 today
CHORUS
From there it's to the letter to Hebrews
Talkin' how God's Son is unique
In Hebrews 1 verse 8 the Father truly does say
He says His only Son is God, yes indeed
CHORUS
Isaiah chapter 43, Jehovah says,
There isn't a God or savior except for me
That's why the Christ said, obey or you're dead
You must believe I am to save your souls ... Think!
Maybe I should check the beginning
Reading John 1:1 for a snag
"And the Word was God." It's just as I thought
It's lookin' like it's truly a fact
CHORUS
Lots of other things you can show them
If they stage a counterattack
Remember to pray, then you really can say
"I'd like to have the both of you back!"
CHORUS

John 8:24
"I told you that you would die in your sins; if you do not believe that I am (the one I claim to be) you will indeed die in your sins."

Rock and Roots
Parody of "Rock and Roll" performed by Led Zeppelin and written by Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, John Paul Jones & John Bonham
(Luke 3:23-38)

Been a long time since-uh God made man
Had a long line of descendents planned
Adam begat Seth, who begat Enosh, who begat Cainan
Who begat Mahaleleel
Who begat Jared, who begat Enoch
Who had Methuselah who lived a life the longest time
BREAK
Lamech had Noah, had Shem, had Arphaxad
He begat Cainan, who had Shelah, and he had
Heber, Peleg, Reu and Serug, Nahor, Terah
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob
Judah, Perez, Hezron Ram, Admin*
Amminadab, Nahshon, Salmon, Boaz, Obed, Jesse and David
SPOKEN
Let's turn the Page and Plant the family tree
Come on with John, Paul, Jonah, Peter, Moses and me
We'll go from Adam to Jesus, a genealogy
We'll spend a long, cool time there in Luke chapter three
Nathan, Mattatha, Menna, Melea
Eliakim, Jonam, Joseph and Judah
Ooh, Simeon, Levi, Matthat, Jorim, Eliezer
Joshua, Er, Elmadam, Cosam -- Awesome!
Addi, Melchi, Neri, Shealtiel
Zerubbabel, Rhesa, Joanan, Joda, Josech, Semein
BREAK
Mattathias, Maath and Naggai
Hesli, Nahum, Amos, Hey!
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Mattathias, Joseph, Jannai
Melchi, Levi, Matthat, Eli, Joseph and Jesus Christ!

*Note: This is the New American Standard Version of the genealogy
Depending on the translation, this line can also be sung:
Judah, Perez, Hezron and Ram,
Amminadab, Nashon, Salmon, Boaz, Obed, Jesse & David
Please also note that the spelling of the names throughout the genealogy differs from translation to translation.

Luke 3:23
Now Jesus himself was about thirty years old when he began his ministry. He was the son, so it was thought, of Joseph, the son of Heli ...

Simp Liztik
Parody of "Nookie" performed by Limp Bizkit and written by Fred Durst, Wes Borland, Sam Rivers & John Otto
(Mark 2:17, Matt 9:12, 21:31; Luke 5:31-32, 18:9-14; Isaiah 53:3, 64:6; Psalms 14:3, 53:3, 118:22; 1 Cor. 1:28, Eccl. 7:20)

He came into this world for the rejects
Look into the Bible -- then you need to size up the facts
Dwell upon the facts -- and learn about His grace
Everything's in First Corinthians Verse 1:28
Hey, I think about the day
When the world He came to save went astray
And they nailed Him to a tree
How He stuck with 'em though they did that stuff
And went on just to suffer and got lumped with us all
(Hey) like the chumps, like the tramps, like the drunks
Like the punks, like the bums, like the scum, like us all
We've all been really bad (Oh?) No one is really good (No?)
It's kinda sad -- Christ's the laughin' stock of the neighborhood
And you would think He'd try to prove 'em wrong
But Christ He suffered like I said, stuck up on the death cross
He said that they just made a mistake
And God should give 'em a break
We oughta praise Jesus' name
Saved us from Hell, what you want me to say?
I know why and I can't deny
He did it all for the crooked (Come on!) the hookers (Come on!)
So you can be bad lookin' and still get up to Heaven!
Still get up to Heaven! Still get up to Heaven!
Still get up to Heaven! REPEAT CHORUS
Why did He save those bums? Why did He save those scum, huh?
Can't figure it out, but He said it in Matthew 21:
31 and still they didn't get it
He came to treat the guys who were diseased
Cause the well don't want a doctor's help or hospitality
He had to get 'em all better
Like tax collectors, harlots and lepers and self-righteous hecklers
(Hey) like the chumps ...
CHORUS
I'm goin' to Romans -- just so you'll read verse 3:10
Religious Pharisees
They'll tell you -- They're very good
That's easier said than done
Psalm verse 53:3 -- Righteous? No not one
Jesus alone -- Jesus alone -- Just Jesus alone
What we wanna say is humans don't obey
And I could quote the same verse in Psalm 14 verse 3
All have gone astray but you can know the way
The righteous ones are scarce here -- We're all in need of grace
What's it gonna take for you to go and pray
'Cause Christ just wants to save you
And all you need is faith CHORUS

Matthew 21:31b
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you."


You Booked Me All Along
Parody of "You Shook Me All Night Long" performed by AC/DC and written by Angus Young, Malcolm Young & Brian Johnson
(Revelation 13:8, Romans 8:29, John 6:44, 15:16, 2 Tim 1:9)

It was the past in Eden
You kept the two of them clean
They were the best man and woman that had ever been
Too bad the snake arrived
Tellin' Eve those lies
Knockin' them out -- You closed up paradise fast
They did not have a prayer
Yet the Bible declares
You told them You'd come
But You was already there
Cause the Lamb was slain from, the earth's foundation
In Revelation, verse 13:8 it says
You -- booked it all along
Yeah, You booked it all along
From the dawn of time
You had that stuff in mind
Romans 8:29 says it's divinely designed
When we go to the cross
It's just the Father who draws
You revealed that to me in John 6:44
Went to choose You now
Today and then I found
How in fact You chose me
Today in John 15
Cause the Lamb was slain from, the earth's foundation
Predestination, defeatin' Satan
Cause You -- booked me all along
Yet You -- could see all my wrongs
You blotted them out -- and You booked me all along
Had to save me and -- You -- booked me all along
Yeah, You booked me
Then You took me
LEAD

John 6:44
"No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day.


Life Restored
Parody of "Last Resort" written and performed by Papa Roach
(Romans 3:10-23, 5:8, 6:23, 8:1, 10:9)

Plug my life into Jesus -- this gets my life restored
Such a cakewalk -- no brainer
Don't need to fuss if I call on our savior
This gets my life restored
Plugged my life into Jesus -- I've seen my life restored
Such a cakewalk -- no brainer
Don't need to fuss since I called Him my savior
Do not even care if I die later
Cause I belong to Jesus Christ
If they took my life tonight -- chances are I'd arrive
In a place that's out of sight -- and I'm confident I'm doin' fine
'Cause I'm improving my life, renewing my mind
This all started with Romans 10:9
Doing what's right, doin' quite fine
This all started with Romans 10:9
I never realized I was meant to live
To live a new life if I would let Him within
Told me -- death is the payoff for living in sin
End the cycle when you're born again
It all started when I first discovered
The Book on my shelf and read cover to cover
Searching -- to find religion that held my attention
Finding -- something called Christian redemption
'Cause I'm improving my life, renewing my mind
This all started with Romans 10:9
Doing what's right, doin' quite fine
This all started with Romans 10:9
I'll be all right -- I'll be just fine
You're runnin' out of time
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine
I can't go wrong living this way
Plug my life into Jesus
This gets my life restored
Selfish nature -- don't need it
Go give it up -- you can conquer your demons
Would it be wrong for me to pry
If you give your life to Christ -- Chances are dynamite
You will make it out alive -- and I'm confident you'll do it right
'Cause I'm improving my life, renewing my mind
This all started with Romans 10:9
Doing what's right, doin' quite fine
This all started with Romans 10:9
I'll be all right -- I'll be just fine -- You're runnin' out of time
I can't go wrong livin' this way -- Can't go wrong living this way
I'll be all -- right

Romans 10:9
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.