Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on "Radical History Tour" (1994)?

There were two versions of "Radical History Tour" — the original cassette (with 24 tracks), which came out in 1994, and the CD (with 20 tracks) which came out in 1999.

Here's what's on the "Radical History Tour" CD:

1. Bethlehemian Rhapsody ("Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen)
2. Isaac Man ("Ice Cream Man" by Van Halen)
3. Jacob's Name is Israel ("Takin' Care of Business" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive)
4. Judgment Gets Passed ("Jumpin' Jack Flash" by the Rolling Stones)
5. (Check Out) the Book ("The Look" by Roxette)
6. Yer Maker ("D'yer Maker" by Led Zeppelin)
7. I Know a Riddle ("I Know a Little" by Lynyrd Skynyrd)
8. I've Got Elijah Fightin' Baal (I've Got a Tiger By the Tail" by Buck Owens)
9. Not Logs Lincoln ("Hot Rod Lincoln" by Commander Cody & His Lost Planet Airmen)
10. Read Ephesians ("Sweet Emotion" by Aerosmith)
11. Lazzie Lay ("Maggie Mae" by Rod Stewart)
12. Catch That Fever! ("Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent)
13. Triune Godhead ("Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones)
14. Ignorant Song ("Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin)
15. E.Z.Kiel ("Suzi Q" by Creedence Clearwater Revival)
16. Virgin ("Urgent" by Foreigner)
17. The Sounds of Silas ("The Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel)
18. Bad Dude Risin' ("Bad Moon Risin'" by Creedence Clearwater Revival)
19. Life in the Last Days ("Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles)
20. Midnight Hour, Pt. 2 ("In the Midnight Hour" by Wilson Pickett)

Although four songs were cut from the original cassette, two of them eventually appeared as bonus tracks on a 10th-anniversary fan-club only CD re-release of the band's 1993 cassette, "Isn't Wasn't Ain't." Those tracks are:

"Love (Ain't Nothin')" ("Long Train Runnin'" by the Doobie Brothers)
"Verynice City" ("Paradise City" by Guns n' Roses)

The two that have never been released on CD (although they later appeared on "Rare Not Well Done" are:

"Enter Samson" ("Enter Sandman" by Metallica) NOTE: This is the 1994 version, not the 1999 version, which appears on "Biblical Graffiti")
"Even Though" ("Even Flo" by Pearl Jam)

The original track order on the cassette was as follows:

1. Bethlehemian Rhapsody ("Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen)
2. Isaac Man ("Ice Cream Man" by Van Halen)
3. Jacob's Name is Israel ("Takin' Care of Business" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive)
4. Judgment Gets Passed ("Jumpin' Jack Flash" by the Rolling Stones)
5. (Check Out) the Book ("The Look" by Roxette)
6. Yer Maker ("D'yer Maker" by Led Zeppelin)
7. Even Though ("Even Flo" by Pearl Jam)
8. I Know a Riddle ("I Know a Little" by Lynyrd Skynyrd)
9. Enter Samson ("Enter Sandman" by Metallica)
10. I've Got Elijah Fightin' Baal (I've Got a Tiger By the Tail" by Buck Owens)
11. Not Logs Lincoln ("Hot Rod Lincoln" by Commander Cody & His Lost Planet Airmen)
12. Read Ephesians ("Sweet Emotion" by Aerosmith)
13. Lazzie Lay ("Maggie Mae" by Rod Stewart)
14 Catch That Fever! ("Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent)
15 Triune Godhead ("Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones)
16. Ignorant Song ("Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin)
17. E.Z.Kiel ("Suzi Q" by Creedence Clearwater Revival)
18. Love (Ain't Nothin') ("Long Train Runnin'" by the Doobie Brothers)
19. Virgin ("Urgent" by Foreigner)
20. The Sounds of Silas ("The Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel)
21. Bad Dude Risin' ("Bad Moon Risin'" by Creedence Clearwater Revival)
22. Life in the Last Days ("Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles)
23 Verynice City ("Paradise City" by Guns n' Roses)
24. Midnight Hour, Pt. 2 ("In the Midnight Hour" by Wilson Pickett)


LYRICS

BETHLEHEMIAN RHAPSODY
Parody of "Bohemian Rhapsody" performed by Queen and written by Freddie Mercury (1 Samuel 17)

With the Israelites, First Samuel 17
Saul and his men cried, "No escape from the Philistines"
Up came Goliath; a hundred feet high, it seemed
Goliath: "I'll end this war, boys. Send one to fight with me
'Cause it's an easy way we can tell -- I defy Israel
Anyone you wish, boys, doesn't really matter to me."
Narrator: Goliath was quite a man. There were none who could compare
No one bigger anywhere
Goliath was a champion ... and everyone who saw him was afraid
No-one — ooh stood a chance against the guy
If he came back again this time tomorrow -- 41, 41 days that he's come up for battle
Little Dave, said, "I'm the one. Just a shepherd with a sling, but I'll step into the ring."
"Good try, little buddy," King Saul replied
"But we need someone real big to face this brute."
"C'mon, ooooh" (David said to King Saul) "I ain't gonna die
"This uncircumcised Philistine's gonna fall."
Goliath: I see a little bitty shepherd — not a man. Are you fools? Are you fools?
You're just fueling my anger! Am I just a dog, you come at me with rocks and sticks?
David: Gol-la-liath! Gol-la-liath! Gol-la-liath! Here with go
With sticks and stooooooones! I trust the Lord but nobody trusts me
Crowd: He's trusts the Lord, but spends his time tending sheep
Facing a giant with a stone and a sling
David: Evil man, you must go! God will strike you down
Goliath: He will not, no. He will not strike me down
David: Yes, He will
Goliath: He will not — will not strike me down
David: Yes, He will, etc. etc.
Goliath: Come-a-here, come-a-here ! Come-a-here, little boy
I'll give your flesh to the birds of the sky to eat, to eat, to eat
David: So you think you can mock the invisible God?
So you think you're just fighting a sling and a shot
Oh, baby, you ain't just fighting David
You're fighting God, and He'll knock you right out of here
Doesn't really matter ... what your size might be
God will fight my battles -- God will win my battles for me
Voice of Experience: David will be king soon

1 Samuel 17:45
David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.


ISAAC MAN
Parody of "Ice Cream Man" performed by Van Halen and written by John Brim (Genesis 17, John 6:37)

Dedicate one to the babies! In Genesis 17, Abraham was gettin' old
Ah now, Genesis 17, Abraham was gettin' old
But he didn't have a child quite the way God said that he would ... but he finally did
I'm the Isaac man; Poppa was 99 (repeat)
When the Lord told Abram that Sarah and he'd have a child
Well, the Lord said to Sarah, "Did you laugh? This baby'll be your son, too!"
I'm the Isaac man; Poppa was 99 ...
Well, the Lord said Abram, "I'm gonna make Sarah a mom. She'll have a son! (Repeat)
"And if you listen to Me, Abram, there'll be a nation to come
Well, one day it happened; there I was! The promise of the Lord came true
I'm the Isaac man; Poppa was 99 ...
They say all God's babies are guaranteed to come in time

Genesis 17:19
Then God said, "Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him.


JACOB'S NAME IS ISRAEL
Parody of "Takin' Care of Business" performed by Bachman-Turner Overdrive and written by Randy Bachman (Genesis 25:26, 32:28, 35:10)

When Jacob was born he took a long time comin'. Took the ankle of his older brother
They were twins, but Jake was later; Esau was his father's favorite
'Cause he spent his time as a hunter
And every single time, Jacob had to wait in line
He started then to strive to get his way
He was just a little boy; he was mama's pride and joy
He loved to work with mother all day
But now, now, Jacob's name is Israel — What'd you say?
Jacob's name is Israel — By the way, I said
Jacob's name is Israel — 'Cause he strived
Jacob's name is Israel — The father of the tribes — All 12
You could read in Genesis how Esau burst into the kitchen
And said, "Jacob, give me some stuff to swallow!"
Jacob said, "Sell me your birthright!" Esau said, "What is it worth right now,
I'm dyin' of hunger; my stomach's hollow!"
And so Esau sold his rights; Jacob later set his sights
Upon the blessing Isaac would pray
He pretended he was Esau, and his father couldn't see so
Jacob stole the blessing and ran away
After 20 years with Laban, well, the Lord spoke to Jacob:
"Take your family with you back to Canaan."
Jacob knew he'd meet his brother as he travelled through the dessert
He was scared, and I wouldn't blame him
And in the night he fought with a Man we think was God
He wrestled with him to the break of day
He took Jacob's hip and knocked it out of joint right at the socket
He blessed him, and He gave him this name

Genesis 35:10
God said to him, "Your name is Jacob, but you will no longer be called Jacob; your name will be Israel." So he named him Israel.


JUDGMENT GETS PASSED
Sung to "Jumpin' Jack Flash" performed by the Rolling Stones and written by Mick Jagger & Keith Richards (Hebrews 9:27)

Well, you're born and you just got one chance
Use it now, 'cause you won't be back again
Well, we all die once — but what's after that?
Well, we all rise — the judgment gets passed and you can't come back
Well, now Hebrews 9:27 says that there's one time to die for every man
CHORUS
Wait around 'til your time's up and then you're dead
Are you countin' on bein' reincarnated?
Are you found in the Lamb's Book of Life, my friend?
Will you frown on the White Throne Judgment Day?
CHORUS

Hebrews 9:27
Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment ...


(CHECK OUT) THE BOOK
Parody of "The Look" by performed by Roxette and written by Per Gessle
(2 Peter 3:15,16)

God has got a plan, and He always had it. He's revealed it to man — very, very simple
If you wanna find out — check out the Book
Heaven is found in between the covers. Take a look around; is there any other
Book that's like the Bible? Check out the Book
Check out the Book, Check out the Book
How can the world just say the Bible isn't true
They never think to read the Book the whole way through
But we say, na na na na ... Check out the book!
Existentialist people've never read it, but there's just one way,
So they reach a dead end
Should have got the map out — check out the Book
Make your arguments, but I recommend
Before you take your stance, make sure that you've read it
Study for the test, man — check out the Book
Try to understand: you can go to Heaven. It's a sure-fire plan, guaranteed forever
What are you afraid of? Check out the Book

2 Peter 3:15-16
Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction


YER MAKER
Parody of "D'yer Maker" performed by Led Zeppelin and written by John Bonham, John Paul Jones, Jimmy Page & Robert Plant (The Epistle to the Romans)

Oh oh oh oh oh oh ... you don't have to go ... to hell, hell, hell
You don't have to go ... to hell, oh oh ! Baby, please, don't go
I follow Jesus Christ; I swallowed all my pride ... then He saved ... my soul
When I read the letter to Romans, it said, "You're bad, bad, bad."
When I saw the place I was goin', it made me scared, scared, scared
But He still loved me so, He wouldn't let me go
He loves you... Ooh baby, you got to know
Oh oh oh oh oh oh ... everyone gets saved, oh oh oh oh
Only if they call His name — hey, hey -- but if they refuse — Uh oh
I Know He saved my soul, oh, oh, oh, oh
You heard me, He saved my soul, oh, oh ... Baby, please, don't go

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.


I KNOW A RIDDLE
Parody of "I Know a Little" performed by Lynyrd Skynyrd and written by Steve Gaines (Judges 14)

Well Samson, he went to go and find him a wife
He killed a lion when it threatened his life
He came back and he looked inside
A bunch of buzzin' honey bees had made it a hive
He said, "I know a riddle, I know a riddle 'bout this
I know a riddle — I've got a riddle for you. I've got a riddle for you
Baby, why don't you take a guess?"
Well, he got married and he made a feast. He gave this riddle to the Philistines
He said, "Out of the eater came something to eat
Out of the strong came something sweet!"
Well, the Philistines, they didn't understand
They said, let's get his woman; she can tell us the answer
Ooh I think that was a stupid plan
'Cause you don't wanna go and make Samson mad
You see, I know a little — I know a little 'bout him
I know a little — I know a little 'bout him
I know a little 'bout Samson -- baby, I can guess the rest
Oh, I know a little 'bout Samson ... baby, he'll bust your heads.

Judges 14:12
"Let me tell you a riddle," Samson said to them. "If you can give me the answer within the seven days of the feast, I will give you thirty linen garments and thirty sets of clothes.


I'VE GOT ELIJAH FIGHTIN' BAAL
Parody of "I've Got a Tiger by the Tail" performed by Buck Owens and written by Harlan Howard & Buck Owens (1 Kings 18)

I've got Elijah fightin' Baal it's plain to see
I know I ain't much, but you-know-Who's with me
You choose your way, but you'll learn, and I won't fail
And it looks like I've got Elijah fightin' Baal
Well, I talked to Ahab when he was the King of the land
Said it's time to make you understand
Bring all your false prophets up to Mt. Car(a)mel
Now it looks like I've got Elijah fightin' Baal
Well, I said, Let's have a contest to call fire from the sky
You go first, and then I'll have a try
Well, 450 prophets cried out to no avail
Now, it looks like I've got Elijah fightin' Baal
Well, they cried to Baal all day; it didn't do them no good
I poured 12 barrels of water on the wood
And I cried out, Lord please prove today you're God of Israel
Please prove I'm right with fire from the air
I got the fire from the air; it came for me
It burned up everything immediately
Well, 1 Kings Chapter 18 tells the tale
In the Book called the Bible -- Elijah fightin' Baal

1 Kings 18:24
(Eljah is speaking) "Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the LORD. The god who answers by fire-he is God." Then all the people said, "What you say is good."


NOT LOGS LINCOLN
Parody of "Hot Rod Lincoln" performed by Commander Cody and written by Charlie Ryan & W.S. Stevenson (Genesis 6-8)

Noah had to have a boat to survive or he'd be sinkin'
So he built it out of gopher wood and not logs Lincoln!
Well, have you heard the story of the giant ship,
Which Noah started buildin' in Genesis 6
That story's true, I'm here to say — there's archeological evidence around today
One day God decided He'd finally had enough,
Told Noah and his family it was time to pack up
Said, Build yourself an ark out of pitch and wood,
I'm gonna hit the earth with a worldwide flood
300 cubits long by 50 cubits wide -- make it 30 cubits deep for a roomy inside
With three decks dividin' and windows on the top
Then start gatherin' animals and just don't stop
450 feet long if my numbers are correct, 75 feet wide with the same three decks
So the roomy inside's 45 feet deep -- that's more than a million and a half cubic feet
Let's look at displacement just for fun; that's 43,300 tons,
So the basic dimensions you could probably say
Were about the same as many ocean liners today
So the Lord told Noah he was gonna start a zoo:
Take seven of every clean animal, two of every unclean one, male and its mate
And stick 'em in the ark and don't be late
Now, I read somewhere there's about 290 main species of land animals you can find
That are larger than sheep and not only that; there's 757 more from sheep to rats
With 1,358 more species that are smaller than rats, well, you know it wasn't easy
But it says there in Genesis 6:22,
Noah did everything the Lord commanded him to do
And his other son, Japheth and the wives of each of them
And he got inside the ark, when he turned 600,
And the sky grew dark and it probably thundered
On the 17th day of the second month, then,
Well, the springs of the great deep burst open
And the floodgates of the heavens opened up wide
And the Lord sent rain 40 days and 40 nights
So the rains came down and the floods kept risin'
Over the tops of the mountains and the whole horizon
And the waters stayed level for 150 more
And a bunch of birds later, Noah opened up the door
After 371 days in the ark, old Noah got out, and he prob'ly said "Hark!
"I'm glad I had a boat to survive or I'd be sinkin',
That's why I built it out of gopher wood and not logs Lincoln!

Genesis 6:14
So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out


READ EPHESIANS
Parody of "Sweet Emotion" performed by Aerosmith and written by Steven Tyler & Tom Hamilton (Ephesians 6:10-18)

Read Ephesians, Read Ephesians
Talk about Paul, apostle of Christ. This is the fifth epistle he writes
Says that our struggle ain't against flesh and blood
Says that we need the armor of God
One piece of the armor is a plate for your breast
Says to put on the breastplate of righteousness
Truth for a belt and shoes for your feet -- the preparation of the gospel of peace
Read Ephesians, Read Ephesians
Put on the salvation helmet, then the shield of faith, you can use it when
The devil starts shootin' his fiery darts
And the sword of the Spirit — that's the Word of God
Standing firm, 'cause our struggle is against
The forces of darkness and wickedness
Talkin' 'bout somethin' that's gonna help you stand
With prayer and petition every time that you can

Ephesians 6:11
Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.


LAZZIE LAY
Parody of "Maggie Mae" performed by Rod Stewart and written by Martin Quittenton & Rod Stewart (John 11)

Wake up, Lazarus, Jesus got somethin' to say to you
Your funeral's over, but you really should come back, it's cool
I know you're deep in the tomb, but I believe you'll be leavin' soon
And Jesus He stood and just cried when He saw
He said, "Roll away the stone," 'cause he didn't wanna see ya gone
You know His power and that stuff really works
We're mourning some 'cause it's been four days since we closed your grave
But that don't worry Him none, He says Christ can do anything
But after somebody dies, can Jesus really make 'em rise?
Oh, Lazarus shouldn't have died, anyhow
He said, "Roll away the stone." Just to save us from bein' alone
We rolled the stone and now we're waitin' for you — come out!
Our Lord Jesus was your friend, so when, we called for Him
Well, we told Him 'bout you, brother,
But somethin' must have happened; He's four days late
Tried to tell Him that you're dead and then the Lord, He only shakes His head
Oh, Lazzie, I couldn't have tried any more
He said, "Roll away the stone" 'cause He didn't wanna see ya gone
I don't know how, but I trust Him anyway
I supposed you'd resurrect some day, when all the others do
But Jesus says that you will be a livin' when He calls for you
They finally got the rock-a-rolled back. They're helpin' you unwrap
Oh, Lazzie, I thought I'd never see your face
He made a faithless fool out of me, 'cause you're alive, as any fool can see
You look so good; I can't believe you ever died

John 11:25-26
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"


CATCH THAT FEVER!
Parody of "Cat Scratch Fever" performed and written by Ted Nugent (Luke 12:49, Revelation 3:15-16, Acts 4:23-31)

Well, I don't when He's comin', but the Lord will come. I hope He's comin' for me
And He says that if we're lukewarm then He'll just spit us out
In Revelation Chapter 3
We need to catch that fever! Catch that fever!
Well, He told them go into the into the world, but they didn't go
He prob'ly wondered what they were waitin' for
Then the church got persecuted and the next thing you know
They busted open all the doors
We need to catch that fever! Catch that fever! Acts kind of fever! Catch that fever!
Listen to Jesus! He said He came to bring a fire to the earth
Wish it was started, a long time ago -- What do you think about His words?
Have you ever really burned?
LEAD
Well, the church was gettin' kicked around in Acts chapter 4
They got together and prayed
And they asked the Lord for boldness to go preachin' His word
I think we need that today

Revelation 3:15-16
(Jesus is speaking) I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.


TRIUNE GODHEAD
Parody of"Satisfaction" performed by the Rolling Stones and written by Mick Jagger & Keith Richards (Acts 3:26, John 2:19, Romans 8:11, Colossians 1:16, Genesis 1:2, Hebrews 1:2, Matthew 28:19, Luke 3:21)

God was at the resurrection, God was at the resurrection
There's a Tri-, He's a Tri-, He's a Tri-, He's a Tri- Triune Godhead! Triune Godhead!
Well, in Acts 3:26, it says the Father was the one who raised the Son
But what do you think of this? John 2:19 says it was Jesus
Romans 8:11 says it was the Spirit. I can't forget those! No no no!
Hey hey hey! That's what it says
God was at the Earth's creation ...
In Colossians 1:16, well, it calls the Son creator but the Spirit was on the scene
In Genesis 1:2 'n' the same verse in Hebrews says the Father made everything
I can't forget those! No no no! Hey hey hey! That's what it says
God was at the Great Commission. God was at the Lord's baptism ...
When He sent 'em out into the world
In Matthew 28 he said baptize in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost
And Luke 3:21 it says that there was all three when Jesus was baptized, you see
I can't forget those! No no no! Hey hey hey! That's what it says

Matthew 28:19
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit ...

IGNORANT SONG
Sung to "Immigrant Song" performed by Led Zeppelin and written by Jimmy Page & Robert Plant (Romans 1:18-32)

Well, the atheists and the agnostics know
But they don't wanna listen to their conscience, though
Man was made by God; everybody knew it
Some ignore it, some deny it; Gehenna knows they're coming
Always pleading ignorance -- willingly denying your common sense
Romans 1:18 — listen to the words of Paul:
The wrath of God abides upon people who pretend that they don't know
All creation that you saw was evidence of the existence of God
Tonight you'd better stop acting like your stupid
If you don't you'll find yourself with those who willingly deny the truth

Romans 1:18-19
The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them.


E-Z-KIEL
Parody of "Suzie Q Pt. 1" performed by Creedence Clearwater Revival and written by Stan Lewis, Dale Hawkins & Eleanor Broadwater (Ezekiel 1)

Oh, EZ-kiel Oh, EZ-kiel Oh, EZ-kiel, well, he saw a wheel within a wheel
By the riverside, he saw the wheels in flight
Covered with eyes, he saw the wheels in flight, EZ-kiel
It ain't no U.F.O., it ain't no U.F.O., It ain't no U.F.O., the Bible tells you so, EZ-Kiel
It's cherubim divine, it's cherubim divine, it's cherubim divine, baby, prophesy, EZ-Kiel

Ezekiel 1:1
In the thirtieth year, in the fourth month on the fifth day, while I was among the exiles by the Kebar River, the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God.


VIRGIN
Parody of "Urgent" performed by Foreigner and written by Mick Jones (Isaiah 7:14, Genesis 3:15)

In Isaiah 7:14, he prophesied about a strange kind of thing
There'd be a sign the Lord would bring
And after time we'd understand what it means
Now some folks don't understand
Virgin birth had to fulfill the plan, because original sin
Is passed on right through the seed of the man
Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: behold, a virgin will be with a child
And the Son, yes, the Son, it was Jesus Christ
That's why we all need to receive Him in our lives
Because a virgin — a young virgin
A virgin bore the seed — a virgin named Mary; she was a virgin
The snake tricked poor little Eve. He told her lies and then she ate from the tree
And gave to Adam, which made it worse,
Cause we're his seed; we inherited the curse
But God was not about to be defied. He knew what to do and He prophesied
That one day the seed of the woman would
Crush the seed of the serpent on the head, underfoot

Isaiah 7:14
Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.


THE SOUNDS OF SILAS
Parody of "The Sounds of Silence" performed by Simon & Garfunkel and written by Paul Simon
(Acts 16)

Paul and Silas, the Bible says, had come to talk to the Philippians
Because a vision of a man speaking came to Paul while he was sleeping
And the vision of the Macedonian man said to them "Come help us, Paul and Silas"
In Acts 16, they walked around, tried to get to know the town
Went to pray down by the river, met a lady there named Lydia
They baptized her there and she asked, "If it be all right,
"Come spend the night and stay a while at my house."
They met a slave girl later on who made her masters quite a lot
Fortune-telling was her occupation, had a spirit of divination
It was driven out when Paul said Jesus' name and so they came and arrested Paul and Silas
Threw them right into the jail, Paul and Silas' faith prevailed
Prisoners at midnight heard them praising God that they were Christ's servants
Then an earthquake came and shook the jail and let go from the cell Paul and Silas
And the jailer bowed and prayed, "What must I do to be saved?"
And they said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will receive His forgiveness."
Paul and Silas taught the word of the Gospel to him and his entire house
And everyone now is in heaven with Paul and Silas

Acts 16:25
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.


BAD DUDE RISIN'
Parody of "Bad Moon Risin'" by Creedence Clearwater Revival and written by John Fogerty (2 Thessalonians 2:1-12)

I see a bad dude arisin'; I see the devil on the way
I see a master of disguises; I see the world led astray
Don't fall for the lies 'cause he's just a fake, not Christ
There's a bad dude on the rise
I read in Second Thessalonians; I know the man is comin' soon
He'll set himself upon the throne and he'll get the world to play his tune
Don't get all surprised 'cause he comes before the Christ
First the bad dude must arise
He'll bring the countries all together. They'll see his miracles and signs
They'll think this world is gettin' better. They'll find he's really anti-Christ

2 Thessalonians 2:3-4
Don't let anyone deceive you in any way, for (that day will not come) until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the man doomed to destruction. He will oppose and will exalt himself over everything that is called God or is worshiped, so that he sets himself up in God's temple, proclaiming himself to be God.


LIFE IN THE LAST DAYS
Parody of "Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles and written by Joe Walsh, Don Henley & Glenn Frey (The Book of Revelation)

It's pretty hard to understand, but it's totally awesome ... and it's eternally true
Who wrote the book? It was John the Apostle ... from the Lord, to me and you
It's a fantastic revelation of the future news. It came from Jesus; it'll come true
When he saw Jesus comin', John fell down as dead
He told him, "Get up, Johnny, and write this down instead."
Life in the last days ... sure to make you lose your mind
Life in the last days ... uh huh
He saw four horsemen, holding the reigns
Of colorful stallions, who brought different things
He who rode the white conquered, and the red one brought war
And the black one brought famine; then pale horse number four
There was death in the saddle, ridin' out through space
He had Hades right behind him, killed a fourth of the human race
All of the people, were trying to hide
When the earth started shakin' and the moon turned to blood. The sun was
Black in the last days ... sure to make you lose your mind
Life in the last days ... yeah, yeah. Life in the last days ... everything prophesied
Life in the last days ... uh huh
So much to tell you; I've got one verse. Man didn't heed the stop signs
And the earth got worse and worse
If you're a Christian, baby, don't you fear a single thing
If you're not, go read the Bible 'cause there's more than I can sing
There's a false messiah, they'll think that he's the Christ
The world will take his number, but they'll have to pay his price
They'll look up and they'll see Jesus and they'll know that they've lost
He won the war when He was dyin' on the cross

Revelation 1:1
The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show his servants what must soon take place. He made it known by sending his angel to his servant John ...


MIDNIGHT HOUR PT. 2
Parody of "In the Midnight Hour" performed by Wilson Pickett and written by Wilson Pickett & Steve Cropper (2 Peter 3:9, 1 Timothy 2:4)

He's gonna wait till the midnight hour -- till everyone is saved
He's gonna wait till the midnight hour
That's when the dead come from their graves
He's gonna come on down from Heaven
At 60 minutes past 11 -- The midnight hour
He's gonna wait till the stars fall down
Until He cleans up all the mess
He's gonna wait till the knees bow down
Till every tongue confess
He's the only Lord above and
He's really, really comin' -- In the midnight hour
He's gonna wait till the midnight hour
Till everyone is saved
He's gonna wait till the midnight hour
That's when the dead come from their graves
He's gonna take us up to Heaven
At 60 minutes past 11 -- The midnight hour

2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.