Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on "Apol-acoustiX" (2005)?

APOL-ACOUSTIX March 2005

"Apol-acoustiX" features 12 acoustic parodies. Here's what's on it:

1. Talk About the Lord ((We're Gonna) Rock Around the Clock by Bill Haley & His Comets)
2. Don't Be Fooled (Don't Be Cruel by Elvis Presley)
3. The Sounds of Silas (The Sounds of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel)
4. We're Not Gonna Drown (When I Come Around by Green Day)
5. Mediterranean Wholebook News (Subterranean Homesick Blues by Bob Dylan)
6. Scripture (Picture by Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow)
7. Last Rain the Clouds Spill (Last Train to Clarksville by the Monkees)
8. Eight Ways to Be (Eight Days a Week by the Beatles)
9. More Than Works (More Than Words by Extreme)
10. The Trinity (Thank You by Led Zeppelin)
11. Two-Time Baby/Lord's House News (Love Me Two Times/Roadhouse Blues by the Doors)
12. Yes Today (Yesterday by the Beatles)

LYRICS

Talk About the Lord
Parody of "(We're Gonna) Rock Around the Clock" performed by Bill Haley & His Comets and written by Jimmy DeKnight & Max Freedman
(Acts 4:20)

Want to know a lot more about God?
Find some songs we can play about God
Nothing livin' can dwell without God;
We're gonna talk about the Lord tonight
Get your Bibles out; let's have some fun
We'll be singin' songs with the words re-done
We're gonna talk about the Lord tonight
We're gonna talk 'bout God with song re-writes
We're gonna rock and talk all about the Lord tonight
If you wonder what we do this for
We're just singin' a new song to the Lord
CHORUS
When we talk 'bout God, we use the Book
'Cause there ain't no other place to look
CHORUS
When we talk 'bout God, you've got to know
He's the Father, Son and Holy Ghost
CHORUS
When the clock strikes 11:59
You can look for God, and He'll be right on time
CHORUS

Acts 4:20
"For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard."


Don't Be Fooled
Parody of "Don't Be Cruel" performed by Elvis Presley and Cheap Trick and written by Otis Blackwell & Elvis Presley
(Exodus 20:3; 1 Corinthians 8:5-6,10:19-20; 2 John 1:7-11)

You know life can be found in the Lord alone
But pagan gods abound at least they'll tell you so
Don't be fooled choose the God that's true
Baby, in the 10 commands, it's number on the list
Exodus chapter 20 verse 3 you know what it says?
Don't be fooled choose the God that's true
'Cause there are no other gods
Baby, just the True One and the frauds
Those gods are pagan phonies they don't make me feel afraid
'Cause I know Jesus loves me and I know there's one true way
Don't be fooled choose the God that's true
Why don't you play it smart
He really loves you baby open your heart
So let's look up First Corinthians in chapter 8:5,6
And 10:19 and 20 and I hope that something clicks
Don't be fooled choose the God that's true
'Cause there are no other gods
Baby, just the True One and the frauds
Don't be fooled choose the God that's true
Don't be fooled choose the God that's true
'Cause there are no other gods
Baby, just the True One and the frauds

1 Corinthians 8:5-6
For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many "gods" and many "lords"), yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from who all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live.



The Sounds of Silas
Parody of "The Sounds of Silence" performed by Simon & Garfunkel and written by Paul Simon
(Acts 16)

Paul and Silas, the Bible says, had come to talk to the Philippians
Because a vision of a man speaking came to Paul while he was sleeping
And the vision of the Macedonian man said to them "Come help us, Paul and Silas"
In Acts 16, they walked around, tried to get to know the town
Went to pray down by the river, met a lady there named Lydia
They baptized her there and she asked, "If it be all right,
"Come spend the night and stay a while at my house."
They met a slave girl later on who made her masters quite a lot
Fortune-telling was her occupation, had a spirit of divination
It was driven out when Paul said Jesus' name and so they came and arrested Paul and Silas
Threw them right into the jail, Paul and Silas' faith prevailed
Prisoners at midnight heard them praising God that they were Christ's servants
Then an earthquake came and shook the jail and let go from the cell Paul and Silas
And the jailer bowed and prayed, "What must I do to be saved?"
And they said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will receive His forgiveness."
Paul and Silas taught the word of the Gospel to him and his entire house
And everyone now is in heaven with Paul and Silas

Acts 16:25
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.



We're Not Gonna Drown
Parody of "When I Come Around" performed by Green Day and written by Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Pritchard & Frank Wright
(2 Peter 2:5-9; Hebrews 11:7; Matthew 24:37-39; Proverbs 16:18; Haggai 2:6-7; Zephaniah 1:14-18, 3:8)

I heard you have your doubts 'bout the way it all turns out
You're so certain that there's nothin' that could make God wipe us out
You can't see how a loving God could send men to Hell
Well, Noah didn't doubt -- He took the Lord's advice
He said, "Noah, build a boat and stick your family inside it
'Cause if you wanna live you'd better listen to me"
Noah tried to spread the word around
They said, "Noah, we'll be fine -- We're not gonna drown!"
You've heard it all before, how Noah was ignored
They refused him and abused him but he took the wood and used it
To build himself a boat while there was no rain in sight
So when the flood arrived, they surely were surprised
When the found out they were all drowned -- it's a shame, but anyway
You can't go forcing someone to believe what's right
Noah tried to spread the word around
They said, "Noah, we'll be fine -- We're not gonna drown
We're not gonna drown, we're not gonna drown, we're not gonna drown!"

Matthew 24:37-39
As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.


Mediterranean Wholebook News
Parody of "Subterranean Homesick Blues" performed and written by Bob Dylan
(2 Timothy 3:15-16; Nehemiah 8:8)

Genesis and Exodus, then you got Leviticus
Numbers, Deuteronomy, then here's where you're gonna be
Josh-U-a, Judges, Ruth, and then you got a bunch of twos
First and Second Samuel, a pair of Kings and Chronicles
Look out, kids, we're startin' a list, God knows best and put Ezra next
He's got Nehemiah, Esther, Job and Psalms and Proverbs
And then there's Ecclesiastes with the Preacher
And the Song of Solomon and you've only done a third
Maybe you don't know it but there's a lot of prophets
Talkin' about Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations
It's Jeremiah's sequel, followed by Ezekiel
Daniel and Hosea, Joel, oy, such a deal!
Look out, kids, there's plenty more than this
Like Amos, Obadiah, the famous Jonah, Micah
Naham, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai & Zechariah
Then there's Malachi and 400 years of quiet
We're done with the Old Testament there ain't no book of Hezekiah
Oh, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans, 1, 2
CORinthians YOU'RE in the Testament we call the New
GALatians SALvation Ephesians says it's by grace and
It's in Philippians, Colossians are you listenin'
Look out next and 1 & 2 Thess
-alonians, and both Timothys, and Titus, oh, man
Then you got Philemon
When you finally roll through the Book they call the Hebrews
James oughta be there and First and Second Peter
Oh, First John, Second John, Third John, roll on
Jude is next to last and yes we're finally at 66
Revelation and this conversation is done but
20 years of schoolin' ain't as good an education
Look out, kids, and read down the list
Better hunt down a Bible get yourself an eyeful
Pretty soon your liable to start your own revival
Don't only read it once you'd better keep on
It's God's own Word and He likes His book recycled

2 Timothy 3:15
... and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.


Scripture
Parody of "Picture" performed by Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow and written by Robert J. Ritchie & Sheryl Suzanne Crow (Luke 15:11-32, 2 Timothy 3:15-16, Psalm 119:105)

Livin' my life like there's no hell
In the drawer there's a Bible at the hotel
I can see it's some kind of pre-planned place
Been fool enough to go play it risky
Wish I thought the Good Lord would miss me
Lord, I wonder what You meant by "saved by grace"
I put Your scripture away, stopped tryin' to find the way
I can't look for truth while I'm lyin' -- that's the worst
I put Your scripture away, I know that crime don't pay
I can't look at truth now I'm cryin' -- yes, it hurts
I called you last night in the hotel
Everyone goes through their slow spells
But your half-started Bible has something you just can't deny
It's been written for you for a long time
You just have to start it and keep tryin'
That ain't hard if you can read and write
I put the scriptures in place, I wrote the words within
I left the Book for you so you'd find it, and you did
Don't put My scriptures away -- I don't care where you've been
I said the Book is true, why not try it? Let me in!
I saw you just today with it open
It was the strangest thing how it happened
Since You called, God, my world's been startin' to change
(Since you called God, your world's been startin' to change)
I decided to read the Bible today
The quotes started jumpin' off the page
When they read it in church
I was often sleeping away
I've thought about you for a long time
It seems as if You read my mind
(It seems as if you read My mind)
That's because the Scriptures are livin', like they say
I finally picked up today
(I'm glad you picked up today)
God's Word and changed my ways
(My Word and changed your ways)
I just called Your name I want to come back home
(I just called your name I want you to come back home)
I just called Your name I want to come back home
(I just called your name I want you to come back home)

Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.


Last Rain the Clouds Spill
Parody of "Last Train to Clarksville" performed by the Monkees and written by Tommy Boyce & Bobby Hart
(1 Kings 17)

Take the last rain the clouds spill and you'll need to have a basin
You can drink it while you're thirsty 'cause I'm takin' a vacation
Drink it slow oh, woe, woe, woe, oh, woe, woe, woe
'Cause I'm leaving with a warning that a drought will soon begin
You'll have warm air like the desert till the Lord brings spring-like rain
And I must go oh, woe, woe, woe oh, woe, woe, woe!
And I don't predict the weather on my own
Take the last rain the clouds spill there'll be massive dehydration
There's no time to stop and save your fishes -- it's a pity God's forsaken you
Oh, woe, woe woe! Oh, woe, woe, woe!
Pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity you
Pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity you
Take Elijah's advice still now I must head up the road
I can't heal your land with Jezebel and Ahab on the throne
They're really low low, low, low, low low, low, low low!
And I don't know if they'll ever come around
Take the last rain the clouds spill and I'll meet you when you're chastened
You will be real dry and dirty 'cause you've paganized the nation
Told you so oh, woe, woe, woe oh, woe, woe, woe!
And I don't know, Israel, when I'm coming home
Take the last rain the clouds spill REPEAT AND FADE

1 Kings 17:1
Now Elijah the Tishbite, from Tishbe in Gilead, said to Ahab, "As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word."


Eight Ways to Be
Parody of "Eight Days a Week" performed by the Beatles and written by John Lennon & Paul McCartney (Matthew 5:2-12)

You might need to know babe, Chapter 5 Matthew
Helps you see my Lord's eight blest Beatitudes
Holy, happy, holy, happy
There's eight God wants ya to know, babe, eight ways to be
Blessed are the humble, blest are those who mourn
Blessed are the gentle of meek and lowly form
They'll be happy, you'll be happy
There's eight God wants ya to know, babe, eight ways to be
Eight ways to be in Matthew
Eight ways to be in Matthew 5:2 go right there
Blessed are the thirsty for righteousness and truth
Blest are those with mercy -- they'll get Christ's mercy too
Ohhh, they'll be happy, you'll be happy
There's eight God wants us to know, babe, eight ways to be
Eight ways to be in Matthew
Eight ways to be -- that's why they're called Beatitudes
Blest are the pure of heart and those who peace to make
Blest are those who suffer for righteousness' sake
Holy, happy, holy, happy
And eight is plenty enough, babe
Eight ways to be, eight ways to be, eight ways to be

NOTE: As you probably know, the word "blessed" can be prounced "bles-id" or "blest." Pronounce it "bles-id" when singing this song, except when it actually appears in its alternate spelling, "blest." If it appears as "blest," pronounce it as "blest."

Matthew 5:11
"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me."


More Than Works
Parody of "More Than Words" performed by Extreme and written by Nuno Bettencourt & Gary Cherone
(John 6:28-29; Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 10:9-13; Amos 5:21-24; Micah 6:6-8)

They might tell you there's lots of works God wants to see from you
That's not the right attitude none are saved by things that man can do
But Jesus said the deed was done on Calvary's hill
More than works 'cause all the good you do ain't no big deal
And it couldn't get you saved that's too costly --the Bible tells me so
What would you do if I quote Ephesians 2
No man's works can save his soul that's so nobody can boast
The Good Book says that it's not by works but grace
And you couldn't make things new without faith in our Lord too
Now they might try to talk to you and make you one of them
(But) all you have to do is hope in Christ and just be born again
And trust the Holy Ghost He'll never let you go
More than works as John 6:28 and 9 do show
That the good work that you need is to believe
'Cause Christ already rose
What would you do if your heart was born anew
Your good works could show your faith, but you must first take His grace
What do you say? If you trust His Word today
Then you could still make things new just by prayin' why don't you?

John 6:28-29
Then they asked him, "What must we do to do the works God requires?" Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent."


Trinity
Parody of "Thank You" performed by Led Zeppelin and written by Jimmy Page & Robert Plant
(Deuteronomy 6:4; John 1:1; 1 Timothy 3:16)

If I sound confused at times, I will still believe in You
My mind it struggles to perceive Your mysterious unity
I'm a human I guess my mind's too small
This kind of union's above it all
Little thoughts of men just can't comprehend
Mysterious God in trinity on high
Our Lord is one revealed in three persons
The Father, the Holy Ghost and Jesus Christ -- my my my
Explanation's much too hard for me from information I've received
And so today my words are small -- they can't define my God at all
Praise to You, Thy will be done for You to me are the Holy One -- all right then
After this no more can be said -- that's the best I can get
If I sound confused at time, I will still believe in You
Though doubters somehow refuse to see
There is still a Trinity

1 Timothy 3:16
Beyond all question, the mystery of godliness is great: He appeared in a body, was vindicated by the Spirit, was seen by angels, was preached among the nations, was believed on in the world, was taken up in glory.


Two-Time Baby/Lord'sHouse Blues
Parody of "Love Me Two Times" and "Roadhouse Blues" performed by the Doors and written by John Densmore, Robby Krieger, Ray Manzarek & Jim Morrison
(John 3:3)

I'm a two-time baby, born twice today
I'm a two-time man, 'cause I'm born again
I'm a two-time man, once born in Adam, once with Christ within
I'm a two-time, I'm born again
Born one time, it was bleak
Born one time, baby, yeah, my flesh was weak
Born a two-time man, trust Him my soul to keep
I'm a two-time, I'm born again -- Oh yeah!
You gotta rule, rule, rule
You gotta heal my soul, all right
Rule, rule, rule, rule and fill my soul
You gotta teach me how to reach Ya
Walk and talk, I wanna preach it to the nations, Bible revelation
I believe Ya, Jesus, come in my life
I sure need Ya! I sure need Ya! It's up to You now! It's up to You now!
Save this sinner! Save us sinners! My Lord!
Well, but once you been born again ya got nothin' to fear
Well, but once you been born again, ya got nothin' to fear
Your future is certain when the end is drawing near
Let Him rule, baby, rule! Let Him rule, baby, rule!
Let Him rule, baby, rule! Let Him rule Oh, my Lord!

1 Peter 1:23
For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.


Yes Today
Parody of "Yesterday" performed by the Beatles and written by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
(Psalm 95:7-8; Hebrews 3:7-8, 3:15, 4:7)

If today you should hear His voice don't turn away
Now's the time that you should kneel and pray
And finally say yes today
Suddenly you might have to spend eternity
In a place you never want to be
Say yes today and just believe
Christ He died for all -- there's no soul He wouldn't save
There's just one thing you have to do say yes today
"Yes" today seems like such an easy thing to say
All you need is faith, so why delay?
Say, "I believe," and "yes" today
Why you might say no, I don't know ... I couldn't say
I'd say something's wrong if you don't say "Yes" today
Yes, today might just be your final chance to pray
All you need is faith, so why delay?
Say, "I believe," and "yes" today
Mmmmmmmmm

Hebrews 3:15
As has just been said: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in
the rebellion."