Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on "Chosen Ones" (2007)?

Here's what's on "Chosen Ones":

1. Born-Again Child (Parody of "Born to be Wild" by Steppenwolf)
2. Never Been to Spain (Yet) (Parody of "Never Been to Spain" by Three Dog Night)
3. Revelation (Parody of "Revolution" by the Beatles)
4. Search and You'll Get Saved (Parody of "Surfin' USA" by the Beach Boys)
5. Get a Bite (Parody of "Let it Ride" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive)
6. Hell! (Parody of "Help!" by the Beatles)
7. Hey Zaccheus (Parody of "Take it Easy" by the Eagles)
8. Can't Eat Enough (Parody of "Can't Get Enough" by Bad Company)
9. Kosmik (Parody of "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin)
10. Fly Away from Hell (Parody of "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC)
11. Two-Time Baby/Lord's House Blues (Parody of "Love Me Two Times/Roadhouse Blues" by the Doors)
12. Narrow Way to Heaven (Parody of "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin)

LYRICS

Born-Again Child
Parody of "Born to be Wild" performed by Steppenwolf and written by Mars Bonfire
(John 3:3)

Yes, the Lord is comin' -- straight out of the skyway
Lookin' for repentance -- whosoever calls His name
Yeah, God's a-gonna make it happen
Take the world at a sudden pace
Find all of the ones He wants and export 'em to space
Like a stroke of lightnin' -- every man that's on earth
Will see Him again -- are you ready now, I wonder
Yeah, God's a-gonna make it happen
Shake the world and its stubborn ways
Find all of His sons at once and head home to His place
And if you use faith just now -- you'll be born, born again, child
You can fly so high -- you're never gonna die
Born-again child, born-again child
Yes, the Lord is comin' -- get out of your wild ways
Look in Romans 10 first -- do whatever stuff it says
Yeah, God's a-gonna make it happen
Save the world with His lovin' grace
Find out what He wants from us, and just grow in your faith
And with a new nature now, yeah, you're born, born again, child
You can fly so high -- you're never gonna die
Born-again child, born-again child

John 3:3
In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again."


Never Been to Spain (Yet)
Parody of "Never Been to Spain" performed by Three Dog Night and written by Hoyt Axton
(Romans 15:24; Acts 13-28)

Well, I've never been to Spain
But I finally might be goin'
I relayed that I'd be stayin' there
In my short note to the Romans
The 15th chapter, it comes right after
The 14th chapter, mm hmm
Well I headed for Galatia
Straight from Antioch Pisidia
Then Iconium, Lystra, Derbe
Bet you didn't know that, did ya?
In Lystra was Timothy, but I didn't take him with me
I was with Barnaby, Barnabus Jones
Met the apostles in Jerusalem
Then left with Silas for Galatia
Picked up Timothy in Lystra
Left for Bithynia and Asia
But God said no to us, so we left for Troas
Where we met Lucas, beloved doctor
LEAD
Well, I'd never been to prison
Till I went to Macedonia
In Phillipi we brought the house down
Then we met the Thessalonians
Bereans and Athenians, and then the Corinthians
Then back to Jerusalem and Antioch
When I finally preached in Ephesus
They were ready for to hear it
They'd already heard Apollos
But they didn't have the Spirit
I stayed three years with these
Then I went back through Greece
Jerusalem, then to Caes --area and Rome

Romans 15:24
I plan to do so when I go to Spain. I hope to visit you while passing through and to have you assist me on my journey there, after I have enjoyed your company for a while.


Revelation
Parody of"Revolution" performed by the Beatles and written by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
(Deuteronomy 18:20-22; Leviticus 19:26)

You say you got a revelation, well, you know
We all wanna save the world
But transcendental meditation, well, you know
It ain't gonna save the world
'Cause then you're talkin' 'bout deception
Don't you know that you should cut it out
You know you gotta see the light the light the light
You say you got some information, well, you know
From a woman in a trance
I ask you for some confirmation, well you know
We all do need evidence
But in Deuteronomy 18 the Bible says
Prophets who tell you the future can't make mistakes
You know it's gotta be all right all right all right
LEAD
You say the zodiac is ancient, well, I know
Babylon's where it began
You're followin' the constellations, well you know
They've all been moved around since then
But if you're an Ares, a Pisces or Gemini
It's all just a Cancer on everyone, then they die
You know you gotta see the light the light the light
The light ... is Christ! The light ... is Christ!
The light ... is Christ! The light ... is Christ!

Deuteronomy 18:22
If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the LORD does not take place or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously. Do not be afraid of him.


Search and You'll Get Saved
Parody of "Surfin' USA" performed by the Beach Boys and written by Chuck Berry
(Isaiah 55:6; Deuteronomy 4:29; Haggai 2:6-7; Zephaniah 1:14-18)

If everybody had a notion how close that you might be
Then everbody'd be searchin' right down upon their knees
You'd see 'em carryin' their Bibles and not just Sundays, too
There'd be a push to form prayer groups searchin' to get saved
They'd pack the churches and close bars
(Seek and find now's the time to get saved)
And stand around in line
(Seek and find now's the time to get saved)
Cram the pews like dance halls
(Seek and find now's the time to get saved)
You'd wonder where they'd been
(Seek and find now's the time to get saved)
Although it ain't happened
(Seek and find now's the time to get saved)
Get on your knees and pray
(Seek and find now's the time to get saved)
Everybody's goin' searchin' search and you'll get saved
You know this planet's a balloon
It's gonna break real soon
The time is now to search for
Your next place to move
We'll all be goin' to somewhere
There's just two places to stay
Tell the preacher you're searchin' searchin' to get saved
Get on your knees 'cause God made
(Seek and find now's the time to get saved)
Specific promises
(Seek and find now's the time to get saved)
Said that those who really want Me
(Seek and find now's the time to get saved)
Are gonna seek My face
(Seek and find now's the time to get saved)
With all of their hearts now
(Seek and find now's the time to get saved)
They'll find-a Me that day
(Seek and find now's the time to get saved)
Everybody's goin' searchin' search and you'll get saved
LEAD
Everybody's goin' searchin' search and you'll get saved
Everybody's goin' searchin' search and you'll get saved
Everybody's goin' searchin' search and you'll get saved
Everybody's goin' searchin' search and you'll get saved

Deuteronomy 4:29
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.


Get a Bite
Parody of "Let it Ride" performed by Bachman-Turner Overdrive and written by Randy Bachman and Charles Turner
(Luke 5:1-11)

We tried all night no dice couldn't get a bite
We tried all night no dice couldn't get a bite
We came in this mornin' when I met Jesus Christ
Tryin', tryin', tryin' to get a bite
Where've you been at Simon?
I've been fishin' half the night
Tryin', tryin', tryin' to get a bite
He said, would you try
If I showed you how to find 'em
Would you take a ride if I get inside?
He sure proved right
'Cause our boats almost capsized
From all the fish we fried when our net had dried
Lived my life in Galilee Capernaum is my town
Tryin', tryin', tryin' to get a bite
Says that He wants me to fish for men
But I just don't know how
Tryin', tryin', tryin' to get a bite
He said, would you try
If I showed you how to find 'em
With a bait that's right? Would you get excited?
And would you try
If I called you my disciple
Would you preach for Christ? Could you get a bite?
LEAD
I've been doing His works now
While He's been doin' mine
Tryin', tryin', tryin' to get a bite
And would you cry
If I told you that He died
And that He gave His life? Would I get a bite?
And would you try
If I told you how to find Him
Would you take advice?
Would you let Him inside? (3X)
Would you let Him inside? (ah ha)
Would you let Him inside?
DRUMS
Try, try, try to get a bite (9X)
Would you let Him inside (4X)

Luke 5:10b
Then Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men."


Hell!
Parody of "Help" performed by the Beatles and written by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
(Luke 16:19-31; Revelation 20:10-15; Matthew 5:22-30, 10:28, 18:9, 23:33, 25:41; James 3:6)

Hell! I read about it
Hell! Lots of people doubt it
Hell! They'd better read some more
Hell!
When I was younger so much dumber than today
I never even read the Bible Hell seemed far away
But I found the way to God and it's got a narrow door
But many find the way that's wide
And drop right through the floor
Hell is in the Bible many times
And I do not think it's just a state of mind
Hell will catch most people by surprise
Don't you see? Hell's real!
And now my life has changed and only by His grace
My sin dependence would have banished me to Hades
But every fire and brimstone preacher you ignore
Is only tryin' to save your life
From everlasting scorn
Tell me if you can why Jesus died
If it's true that we're all basically all right
Tell me why you feel that guilt inside
Don't you see? Hell's real!
When I was younger so much dumber than today
I didn't need no busybodies tellin' me I needed saved
But I found my way was wrong now I'm knockin' on your door
So while there's time you'll change your mind
And call upon the Lord
Hell is in the Bible many times
It's Luke 16 and Matthew 25
John verse 3:19 will tell you why
Don't you see? Hell's real!
Hell's real, Hell's real!

Matthew 25:41
"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.'"


Hey Zaccheus
Parody of "Take it Easy" performed by the Eagles and written by Jackson Browne & Glenn Frey
(Luke 19:1-10)

Well, He was comin' down the road
Windin' through Jericho
They had everyone in town in line
Folks along the road
Made movement kind of slow
We wanted them to step aside
Make way for Jesus, make way for Jesus
Down in the crowd of all those people was Zaccheus*
Life was tough for this short man
He was despised because of sin
There was no place where he could stand
And look at Jesus
Well, now Zaccheus was short
So he climbed a sycamore tree
Just the right height to see
He could see the Lord
But he felt for sure
"Jesus wouldn't wanna look at me!
Could He save me? Am I crazy?
I've got a past that most people would say was shady
Would He choose to forgive my sins?
Or am I going out on a limb?"
Just then the Lord looked up at him
Said, "Hey, Zaccheus!"
LEAD
So there was silence in the road
While He looked up and spoke
And the world was hanging' on the line
Jesus hollered up there, "Let's both go to supper
At your house tonight."
They said, "Jesus, don't be facetious
Don't hang around immoral people like Zaccheus!"
He said, "Baby, don't detain me!
I've gotta go, 'cause this sheep's lost
I'm gonna save him!"
Wooo Wooo Wooo Wooo (4X)
All you gotta see is ... we all need saved by Jesus

*NOTE: Zaccheus can also be spelled "Zacchaeus," depending on the translation.

Luke 19:3
He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd.

Can't Eat Enough
Parody of "Can't Get Enough" performed by Bad Company and written by Paul Rodgers
(Matthew 14:13-21)

Well, I take good care of my flock
And, baby, they want food
You give them somethin' to eat
Don't tell them to go home 'cause that's rude
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, Andrew and
C'mon, c'mon all you other dudes
I can't give 'em nothin' for lunch ... huh
I can't give 'em nothin' for lunch
I can't give 'em nothin' for lunch
Listen!
Well, let's take the five small loaves
I'm a gonna break 'em in two
Gonna hand them out like your Lord says
God will help you out while you do
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, and do it
C'mon, c'mon -- you got the food, Whoo!
They can't eat enough of your loaves
They can't eat enough of your loaves ... huh
They can't eat enough of your loaves
LEAD
REPEAT SECOND CHORUS 2X
I love 'em so much and they can't eat enough of the loaves
I love 'em so much and they can't eat enough of the loaves
They can't eat enough of the loaves

Matthew 14:19
And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people.


Kosmik
Parody of "Kashmir" performed by Led Zeppelin and written by Jimmy Page, Robert Plant & John Bonham (Joshua 10)

Don't let the sun go down upon this place
Let stars be still, I plead
You are the Master of both time and space
And the Israelites I lead
You sent great boulders on our enemies
You hurled the hail and sleet
On top of them and made them simple graves
Upon the battlefield
Our foes are strong and tall and filled with hate
With swords of death and spears
But not of warriors am I afraid
The LORD's the One I fear
Whoa-hoh, whoa-wah-oh
Oooooooooooooooooooh
Today the time's been flyin'
Ohhhhhhhhh, yeah
Somehow the sun still is shinin'
Oh!
Ooooooooooh yeah, while we're fightin'
My-my God, He holds the night in, holds the night in
Oh!
All I see from the ground
Is the sun burning down
Amorites fill this land
As they beg this day to end
Tryin' to fight with God almighty, their worst fear
The five kings of those foreign heathen states
Who caused this violent scene
They seek the blackness of the moonlight's shade
To help with their retreat
I thank the LORD who made the sun and moon
The world that turns with them
He makes the dusk that cloaks as bright as noon
When movin' to catch men
Oh, Joshua your forces will not fail
Be strong and feel no fear
Your opposition they cannot prevail
The LORD your Strength is near
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Whoa-oh, oh
Ohhhh
Oh, what a God, what an awesome day, yeah
Why does He, even listen when we pray
Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, sundown, yes
(Spoken) Joshua chapter 10
Let me take you there

Joshua 10:13
So the sun stood still, and the moon stopped, till the nation avenged itself on its enemies, as it is written in the Book of Jashar. The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day.


Fly Away From Hell
Parody of "Highway to Hell" performed by AC/DC and written by Bon Scott, Angus Young & Malcolm Young
(Mark 9:42-48; 1 Thessalonians 5:22)

It was easy, it was free
Jesus said, You know, you must decide
Asked Him nicely, Save me please
Make my every single sin washed white
So many reasons for me to fry
Because of all the bad I do
Slow me down, throw me a line
I never wanna barbecue
I wanna fly away from hell
Wanna Fly away from hell
Fly away from hell
I wanna fly away from hell
Won't drop by, won't even visit
Nobody's gonna point me down
I've been sealed by His Spirit
I'm headed for the best place around
He saved me, paid my dues
Though I was a rotten man
Hey, Moses, wait for me
I'm on my way to the promised land
Whoa!
I'm gonna fly away from hell
Fly away from hell
I'm gonna fly away from hell
Fly away from hell
Mmmmm
Don't drop me!
Hey, hey, ow!
LEAD
I'm gonna fly away from hell
Gonna fly away from hell
I'm gonna fly away from hell
Gonna fly away from GUITAR
Fly away from hell (I'm gonna fly away from hell)
Fly away from hell (fly away from hell)
Fly away from hell (Mama, I'm gonna)
Fly away from hell
And I'm glory bound ... up and away!
Whoa!
Gonna fly away from hell

Mark 9:43
If your hand causes you to sin, cut if off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out.


Two-Time Baby/Lord'sHouse Blues
Parody of "Love Me Two Times" and "Roadhouse Blues" performed by the Doors and written by John Densmore, Robby Krieger, Ray Manzarek & Jim Morrison
(John 3:3)

I'm a two-time baby, born twice today
I'm a two-time man, 'cause I'm born again
I'm a two-time man, once born in Adam, once with Christ within
I'm a two-time, I'm born again
Born one time, it was bleak
Born one time, baby, yeah, my flesh was weak
Born a two-time man, trust Him my soul to keep
I'm a two-time, I'm born again -- Oh yeah!
You gotta rule, rule, rule
You gotta heal my soul, all right
Rule, rule, rule, rule and fill my soul
You gotta teach me how to reach Ya
Walk and talk, I wanna preach it to the nations, Bible revelation
I believe Ya, Jesus, come in my life
I sure need Ya! I sure need Ya! It's up to You now! It's up to You now!
Save this sinner! Save us sinners! My Lord!
Well, but once you been born again ya got nothin' to fear
Well, but once you been born again, ya got nothin' to fear
Your future is certain when the end is drawing near
Let Him rule, baby, rule! Let Him rule, baby, rule!
Let Him rule, baby, rule! Let Him rule Oh, my Lord!

1 Peter 1:23
For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.



Narrow Way to Heaven
Parody of "Stairway to Heaven" performed by Led Zeppelin and written by
Jimmy Page & Robert Plant (Matt. 7:13-14, 13:24 John 6:44,
14:6)

There's a way Jesus showed all us sinners must go
And He called it the narrow way to Heaven
If to get there's your goal -- with a pure heart and soul
In His Word you can get what you came for
Ooooooh and he described it right there in Matthew 7
There've been signs all along but you want to be sure
Cause the road sometimes swerves as you're reading
In the free Bible book, there in John 3:16, come find how all our faults are
forgiven
Two ways to ponder -- two ways to ponder
There's a freeway of death and it hooks to the left
And the steering and driving is easy
It is not quite as seems -- see that smoke, feel the heat
Hear the voice of the Lord who stands knockin'
Ooooooh ... it takes you under. Ooooooh ... it really takes you under
And it's His Word that's true -- if we all follow through
Then the Bible will lead us to Jesus
And the true way will dawn -- on those who've read John
Chapter 14 verse 6 and thereafter Ooooooh ...
If there's a possible dead end road -- don't be a lost man
It's best to think before you take it
Yes, there are two paths you can go by -- but there's a wrong one
But there's still time to change the road you're on
Ooooooh ... can it take you up there?
You're headed somewhere but it won't go the place you wanna go
If Christ has called and you avoid Him
The way to Heaven's very narrow, and did you know
It's very wide on the way to Hell? LEAD
Where will you wind up down the road -- a shadow land or street of gold?
There is a Way that we all know -- He shines bright light on words that show
How every man will turn to dust -- but if you let Him in your heart
The Truth will come to you at last -- and our Lord warned us where to go
And He was God -- He ought to know
And He called it the narrow way to Heaven

Matthew 7:13-14
(Jesus is speaking) "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."