Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on "Loaded 45s" (2014)?

Here are the lyrics to our 36th CD, "Loaded 45s" (released in September 2014):

Goodnews
Parody of "Footloose" performed by Kenny Loggins and written by Kenny Loggins & Dean Pitchford
(Isaiah 61:1; Matthew 4:23, 9:35, 11:5; Mark 1:14-15, 16:15; Romans 10:15, Ephesians 2:8-9, Galatians 3:1-26)

Been workin' so hard
You're under the law
Hey now those laws
Won't help you come to God
I've got this feelin' what I just told ya you doubt
I'll bet Ephesians 2:8 will clear up this now

Now I gotta tell you good news
It's not just Sunday pews
Please you need to only trust and believe
Jack, it's fact comes from the Book that's black
You could use
Everybody loves good news

Your fate is so cruel
Obeyin' every rule
But way down in your heart
You're fallin', fallin' so short
Somebody should tell you that life is a pass or fail ride
I've tryin' tell you you'll fail if you don't believe in Christ
You could die

But you know there's good news
For you
It's not just some big ruse
Ooh ee it's free check Galatians part three
Oh, I know how those commandments go
You could use
Everybody loves good news

Got good news (Oh!) God's good news (Oh!)
Got good news (Oh!) God's good news (Oh!)

Got to turn it around
Get your faith off the ground
God's grace will pull ya through
Ahhhhhhhhh
I'm tellin' you the truth!

Good news
It's not just Sunday pews
Please you need (to) only trust and believe
Jack, it's fact comes from the Book that's black
You could use
Everybody loves good news (good news)
Good news (good news)
It's not just Sunday pews
Please you need (to) only trust and believe
Jack, it's fact comes from the Book that's black
You could use
Everybody loves, everybody loves
Everybody loves, everybody loves
Everybody loves, everybody loves
Everybody loves good news

Romans 10:15
And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"



Talk and I'll Walk
Parody of "Crocodile Rock" performed by Elton John and written by Elton John & Bernie Taupin
(John 5:1-15)

I remember when God's own Son
Made Jerusalem so much fun
On a mat I'd sit and moan
At the pool Bethesda
Had an ache in bones
But I didn't think I'd ever walk
With too many things always blocking my thoughts
While the other geezers talked about the Law
Jesus stopped and He taught me how to walk with my God
Well

Talk about walking!
The docs are shocked 'cause now my feet just can't keep still
They never knew people paralyzed could be blessed while they're so ill
Oh, the Lord He taught me the time was right
So sue the lawyers, let them fight
I'm walkin' 'cause I found the Christ
Na
Na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-an-na-na

Well, the years went by and I walk just fine
You can learn a lesson from the storyline
John 5 writes about the wretch that I'd been
Jesus' love has saved me from my old routine
But I never will be still because
Serving God is a hundred-mile walk
Turning back is a weak man's act
I will pick up the cross and I'll walk the path
Well

REPEAT CHORUS

I remember when God's own Son
Made Jerusalem so much fun
On a mat I'd sit and moan
At the pool Bethesda
Had an ache in bones
But I didn't think I'd ever walk
With too many things always blocking my thoughts
While the other geezers talked about the Law
Jesus stopped and He taught me how to walk with my God
Well

REPEAT CHORUS

John 5:8
Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk."


Fly Like Ezekiel
Parody of "Fly Like An Eagle" performed by Steve Miller Band and written by Steve Miller & Steve McCarty
(Ezekiel 3:12-14, 8:3, 11:1, 11:24, 37:1, 43:5; Acts 8:39;
2 Corinthians 12:2)

Check God's book do do do do
Take a look do do do do
Check God's book do do do do
Take a look do do do do

Time to seek some vision, vision, vision into the future
Time to seek some vision, vision, vision into the future

I wanna fly like Ezekiel the Jewish priest
Fly like Ezekiel let God's Spirit carry me
I want to fly like Ezekiel chapter 3
Oh, whoa, read the revelation

See the valley where bones gathered up to be
Human skeletons with no flesh or physique
Now they're people livin' human beings
Ohhhh, there's our salvation

I want to fly like Ezekiel do you see?
Fly like Ezekiel 37's where we read
I want to fly like Ezekiel are you like me?
I-I need a revelation

Time to seek some vision, vision, vision into the future
Time to seek some vision, vision, vision into the future
Time to seek some vision, vision, vision into the future
Time to seek some vision, vision, vision into the future

Do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do

I want to fly like Ezekiel through the trees
Fly like Ezekiel 8, 11, 43
I want to fly like Ezekiel feel that breeze
I-I need a revelation
LEAD

Check God's book do do do do take a look
Check God's book do do do do
Check God's book do do do do
Take a look do do do do

Time to seek some vision, vision, vision into the future
Time to seek some vision, vision, vision into the future

Ezekiel 3:14
The Spirit then lifted me up and took me away, and I went in bitterness and in the anger of my spirit, with the strong hand of the LORD upon me.



Hell Smells
Parody of "Hells Bells" performed by AC/DC and written by Angus Young & Malcolm Young
(Luke 16:19-31, Rev. 14:11, 20:10-15, Matt. 5:22-30; 7:13-14,10:28, 13:36-42, 13:48-50; 18:9, 23:33, 25:41; Mark 9:42-47; James 3:6, Jude 7,13; 2 Thess. 1:7-9; 2 Peter 3:7; Romans 2:5-12, Revelation 20:10-15)

I'm goin' under, I roared in pain
It wasn't fun like I heard 'em claim
My life was flashin' before my eyes
You woke me up but I'm traumatized

Oh, won't take no visitors
Once there, you'll find
Nobody's partyin' up all night
Ah, it's hard to sell a one-way ticket to hell
You know the stench is rank and wretched

'Cause hell smells
Yeah, hell smells
You won't believe it
Hell smells
The stench is so vile
Hell smells

I've been through Revelation up and down you'll find
If you're into evil it's the end of the line
See the White Throne Judgment as He splits them wide
Puts them goats on the left and lines the sheep up to the right

Won't take no visitors
Won't take no bribes
Nobody's put in by surprise
Ah, it's not so swell when God forsakes you to hell
They won't accept a late confession

Hell smells
Oh, hell smells
You got deceived and
Hell smells
The tempter just lied
Hell smells

LEAD

Hell smells
Stinks it's rotten, P.U.
Hell smells
You're wrinklin' your nose
Hell smells
The tempter just lied
Hell smells
The cross divides
Hell smells
So take your cue now
Hell smells
Before you go under
Hell smells
God can spare your life
Hell smells
There's no way but Christ, yeah!

Ow!
Ow ow!
Ow! Yeah heh!
Hell Smells!


Matthew 13:42
They will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.


We're Not Goin' to Canaan
Parody of "We're Not Gonna Take It" performed by Twisted Sister and written by Dee Snyder
(Numbers 13:1-14:45)

We're not goin' to Canaan
No, we ain't goin' to Canaan
We're not goin' to Canaan anymore

We got 12 spies to view it
They made their way all though it
Yes, Israelites, they said you're soft
Despite the powers of Egypt
God picked us just to reach it
He drove the bus you won't get off

We're not goin' to Canaan
No, we ain't goin' to Canaan
We're not goin' to Canaan anymore

Your loss of confidence stinks
(It's) your fault we're never entering
You don't wanna rough it 'cause you think they're huge
No one who whined will taste it
Only just Josh and Caleb
As for the rest, you best go move

Whoa-oh-oh
Whoa-oh-oh
You're right (Yeah!)
We're weak (Yeah!)
They'll fight (Yeah!)
You'll flee (Yeah!)

Whoa-oh
We're not goin' to Canaan
No, we ain't goin' to Canaan
We're not goin' to Canaan anymore
We're not goin' to Canaan
No, we ain't goin' to Canaan
We're not goin' to Canaan anymore
Go away!

LEAD

Whoa-oh-oh
Whoa-oh-oh
You're right (Yeah!)
We're weak (Yeah!)
They'll fight (Yeah!)
You'll flee (Yeah!)

We're not goin' to Canaan
No, we ain't goin' to Canaan
We're not goin' to Canaan anymore
We're not goin' to Canaan (No!)
No, we ain't goin' to Canaan
We're not goin' to Canaan anymore (Don't you try to take it)
We're not goin' to Canaan (C'mon)
No, we ain't goin' to Canaan (You're all worse than the sheep)
We're not goin' to Canaan anymore (Now stop and get repentant)
We're not goin' to Canaan (Oppression?!)
No, we ain't goin' to Canaan (Ah, you're true to form!)
We're not goin'n to Canaan anymore

Numbers 14:30
Not one of you will enter the land I swore with uplifted hand to make your home, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun.


Let's Redo the Music
Parody of "Listen to the Music" performed by the Doobie Brothers and written by Tom Johnston
(Psalms 66:1, 81:1, 95:1-2, 96:1, 98:4-6, 100:1, 105:43, 118:15; Romans 8:18, 12:2; 2 Corinthians 4:17)

Don't you feel as though if we're saved by grace
People shouldn't really get the blues
But it happens some are sad
Oh, and honey that's the dues we pay

What the people need is to make a joyful shout
To take those heartsick blues and use those sounds
To propagate the message in the Good News
Don't cry, mama, 'cause we're heaven bound

Ohhh ... Let's redo the music
Ohhh ... Let's redo the music
Ohhh ... Let's renew the music
Of your mind

Well I know you learn better when we sing and play
Even if it's country or reggae
We'll be happy to revamp
All the numbers that we used to play
If that deal sounds good to you
And you really do believe
Then, my brothers, if you do behave
We can put in some rhyme
Oh, maybe, turn the blues to praise

Ohhh ... Let's redo the music
Ohhh ... Let's redo the music
Ohhh ... Let's renew the music
Of your mind

I can praise the Lord forever
We're bound for mansions in the sky
And the time is drawing nearer
Listen, we don't have much time
To be sad so let's not cry

Ohhh ... Let's redo the music
Ohhh ... Let's redo the music
Ohhh ... Let's renew the music
Of your mind

Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.



You're So Plain
Parody of "You're So Vain" performed and written by Carly Simon
(Isaiah 52:14-15, 53:2-3; Luke 19:10)

(Whispered) Son of God

You walked into the party
While you were talkin' unto Your mom
She said the people are gettin' low on wine
They scarfed it up and there's none
You had one sign then and there for them
The water turned to wine
And all the world knew that they'd seen a prophet
They'd seen a prophet and

You're so plain it's obvious there's something about You
You're so plain (You're so plain)
But skeptics think I'm wrong and they doubt You
Doubt You
Doubt You

Though You had these signs and miracles
The scribes were still quite naive
When You said to repent of their sinning there
The Sadducees never grieved
But You came to save and seek the lost
And one of them was me
I heard some priests in the crowd, they were scoffing
'Cause they were cocky and

You're so plain they'd proudly make this comment about You
You're so plain (You're so plain)
I hate to think where I'd be without You
Don't you
Go to
Those fools
LEAD

I heard some priests in the crowd, they were scoffing
'Cause they were cocky and
You're so plain the prophets said that some would revile You
You're so plain
Isaiah 53 has been found true
So true
So true

When other heroes then liked to wear a toga
On a warhorse after they won
Then You'd do Your miracles off where no one knows Ya
So people totally missed what You'd done
They're aware You could be our Messiah
But they would not commit
Some stumble in spite of the signs that You showed them
I could have told them that

You're so plain the prophets and the Psalms wrote about You
You're so plain (So plain)
And everything's revolving around You
Lord, You, Lord, You, Lord, You
You're so plain it's obvious there's something about You
You're so plain it's obvious there's something about You
You're so plain it's obvious there's something about You

Isaiah 53:2
He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.



These Streams
Parody of "These Dreams" performed by Heart and written by Martin Page & Bernie Taupin
(John 4:1-42, 7:37-39; 1 Timothy 2:5)

Shared a little drink with a stranger I did meet
A thinker of a man who knew my hidden need
My sins were many worse than I can list
But you don't get a hangover from drinking like this

Starting on the edge of a battle-weary land
I searched for the truth at a watering hole then
I want to see truth clearly Christ showed what it is
Cold waters in the desert are the streams in my midst

These streams flow out from the Lord on high
When we step into the light, the living waters rise
These streams won't freeze when it's cold outside
Everyone can come and drink from near and far away

Streams that flow in winter, summer or spring or fall
The waters I speak of truly change us all
Drinking them, my life's right -- the scandals don't exist
And chains that have no power have fallen from my wrists

These streams flow out from the Lord on high
When we step into the light, the living waters rise
These streams won't freeze when it's cold outside
Everyone can come and drink from near and far away

There's someone out there a man exists
To lead and guide the way come with me
There's someone out there the man exists!

He'll lead us all with guidance like I've never heard
Come drink now with me from streams that refresh the earth
In a world full of princes, Jesus is the king
If you step out in faith, you'll see what I mean

These streams flow out from the Lord on high
When we step into the light, the living waters rise
These streams won't freeze when it's cold outside
Everyone can come and drink from near and far away
These streams flow out from the Lord on high
When we step into the light, the living waters rise
These streams won't freeze when it's cold outside
Everyone can come and drink from near and far away

John 4:14
"but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life."


Old Man
Parody of "Soul Man" performed by Sam & Dave and The Blues Brothers and written by Isaac Hayes & David Porter
(Genesis 5:27, 2 Corinthians 4:16)

Now Methus'lah was a crusty bloke
Kept truckin' until the flood broke
And if you're thinkin' it's not floodin'
Well, don't worry; your time's comin'

I'm an old man I'm an old man
I'm an old man I'm an old man

My one eye's shot -- my hair's gray
But my faith gets better each and every day
So what if the doctor said
"If you eat meat nothing red!"

I'm an old man owwww
I'm an old man (It's plain to see)
I'm an old man I'm an old man

Was brought up on the fried meats
Now I look at a label before I can eat
I take medication and shouldn't stop
When I start runnin' I just might drop

I'm an old man I'm an old man
I'm an old man I'm an old man

So glad to know
That I'm born again
It gives me hope
At each doctor's appointment
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

I'm an old man I'm an old man
You're an old man Hah! -- I'm an old man
I'm an old man I'm an old man
Hah! Hah!

2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.


Fearful
Parody of "Vehicle" performed by The Ides of March and written by Jim Peterik
(Isaiah 41:10)

Hey, well, I can sense the danger of an accident a-when I hop inside my car
I've got scriptures that tell me God will never abandon me
I'll take Him with me near and far

I'm not fearful, baby
He's with me everywhere I'm gonna go
I've had fearful moments
But I found my Lord you know
When God loves ya (loves ya)
He keeps ya (keeps ya)
I know that lots can happen now but
Praise God in Heaven, I know I'll come through

Well, if you want to see a move of God
I'm gonna take you to the Holy Book
And if you wanna pray to let Him in your heart
You know I think you really should

I'm not fearful, baby
He's with me everywhere I'm gonna go
I've had miracle moments
I found my Lord you know
When God loves ya (loves ya)
He keeps ya (keeps ya)
I know that lots can happen now but
Praise God in Heaven, I know I'll come through
Oh, you know it's true
LEAD

Well, I can sense the danger of an accident a-when I hop inside my car
But God's scriptures tell me He will never abandon me
I'll take Him with me near and far

I'm not fearful, babe
God's with me everywhere I'm gonna go
I've had tearful moments
But I found my Lord you know
When God loves ya (loves ya)
He keeps ya (keeps ya)
I know that
A lot can happen
Praise God in Heaven, I know I'll come through
And I'm not fearful, babe
Oh, alright
You know, when God loves ya (loves ya)
He keeps ya (keeps ya)
I know that lots can happen now but
Praise God in Heaven, I know I'll come through

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.


Take Jude
Parody of "Hey Jude" performed by the Beatles and written by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
(Jude 1:1-25; Matthew 12:46-50, 13:55-56; Mark 3:21, 31-35; 6:3-4; John 7:5)

Take Jude ... he makes it fast
Take a second and read his letter
Remember
It's 25 verses long so is this song
So pay attention

Take Jude ... both he and James
Were related to our Lord and Savior
They didn't
Believe their brother was Him till He'd risen
But He forgave them

And when you're family feels you're strange
Like Jude and James
Don't worry; the Word of God has shown us
That those we know who think we're fools
And crazy kooks
They may just convert a little slower
La da da da da da da da da da

Take Jude ... it's written down
I have found it ... here's how you get there
Remember
That Revelation comes last ... right before that
They placed his letter

So get it out and read again, take Jude, dig in
Don't wait until Sunday School to learn it
But don't you know the gist of Jude?
Hey, dude you should
Contend for the faith, because it's permanent

Take Jude ... go take his path
Take a stand as a faith defender
Remember
We played this song about him (oh!) so you'd begin
To read his letter
And ya never ever better forget it now

C'mon and get it out now
Read it out loud read Jude
C'mon and get it out now
Read it out loud read Jude

(Well, you know you should read just what Jude verse number 3 says)

Jude 1:3
Dear friends, although I was very eager to write to you about the salvation we share, I felt I had to write and urge you to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints.


Hit 'em With Your Slingshot
Parody of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" performed by Pat Benatar and written by Eddie Schwartz
(1 Samuel 17:1-58, James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5, Proverbs 3:34)

Yeah, you're real tough looking and you're strong as a tree
But, hey, a little bark doesn't bother me
That's what David said while he threw it
Could've been you just let God do it

Hit 'em with your slingshot
Why don't you hit 'em with your slingshot
Hit 'em with your slingshot
Fire away!

Someone is a comin' who don't fight fair
That's O.K. we have got prayer
God brings down the tall and vain
I get my facts from First Pete and James

Hit 'em with your slingshot
Why don't you hit 'em with your slingshot
Hit 'em with your slingshot
Fire away!

Yeah, you're real tough looking and you're strong as a tree
But, hey, a little bark doesn't bother me
Before I couldn't ever watch when a big stiff raged
But now I make sure I look him in the face

Hit 'em with your slingshot
C'mon! Hit 'em with your slingshot
Hit 'em with your slingshot
Fire away!

Hit 'em with your slingshot
Why don't you hit 'em with your slingshot
Hit 'em with your slingshot
Fire away!

1 Samuel 17:49
Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.