Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on "Easter Standard Time" (2015)?

Our 39th CD, "Easter Standard Time," was released in March 2015.

Here are the lyrics:

Hosanna
Parody of "Rosanna" performed by Toto and written by David Paich
(Matthew 21:8-16; Mark 11:8-11; John 12:12-14, 20:1-9)

All around Jerusalem they waved their palms adoringly for Jesus Christ
Hosanna, Hosanna
I never thought that a road like that could lead to Calvary
Hosanna
All of us were true and we said we'd never leave when He foretold that night
Hosanna, Hosanna
We didn't know that they would look for the Lord inside Gethsemane
Palm Sunday here simply went away – Hosanna, oh yeah
Now He's gone and I'm at the grave
Meet you on the way, meet you on the way – Hosanna, oh yeah
Meet you on the way, meet you on the way – Hosanna, oh yeah

I can see the grave with Simon and the way the rock was rolled aside
Hosanna, Hosanna
I didn't know that the earth might move and break the seal they had
Hosanna
All I wanna say is that night I never ever thought the Son would rise
Hosanna, Hosanna
I never saw another human who they'd ever hurt so bad
Not much in here – seems He went away -- Hosanna
Now He's gone, but not passed away
Meet you on the way, meet you on the way – Hosanna, yeah
Meet you on the way, meet you on the way – Hosanna, yeah
LEAD
Not much in here – seems He went away -- Hosanna
Now He's gone, but not passed away
Meet you on the way, meet you on the way – Hosanna, yeah
Meet you on the way, meet you on the way – Hosanna, yeah

John 20:8
Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed.


One of These Guys
Parody of "One of These Nights" performed by The Eagles and written by Don Henley & Glenn Frey
(Matthew 26:20-35)

One of these guys – one of these favorites of Mine
We're gonna find out did Me wrong now
Once they're done tonight
The cock will be crowing as Peter denies
And the rest of you head for your homes
You don't believe it – You're My disciples
But I've gotta do this alone

Ooh, Lord, we'll stand beside you
Even if there's trouble in sight
Ooh, Lord we won't deny you
Swear we're right behind you all of the time

One of you schemes – one of the apostles on my team, now
We're gonna found out – wasn't really clean
My insurgent one was brought here by the devil himself
Like the serpent was an angel of light
Lyin', waitin' for a moment to deliver me up
And I've a feelin' that the moment is ripe

Ooh, some of us you'll find true
Even if there's one who's a spy (Oh, whoa, whoa)
Ooh, Lord we're right behind you
Swear we'll stand beside you all of the time
LEAD

(One of these guys)
Ooh later in the garden tonight
Someone right beside me, Spirit who's inside me
Indicates it's one of these guys (One of these guys)
Whoo hoo hoo Whoo hoo hoo (One of these guys)
And I can feel it, I can feel it (One of these guys)
Comin' up behind me, they're all gonna find me now
(One of these guys)
And it's gettin' dark, so dark and lonely now
(One of these guys)
One who betrays me, slays me, makes me die
(One of these guys)
They're all gonna try me, then they'll crucify me now
(One of these guys)
Ooooh Ooooh (One of these guys)
And he's on his way now

Matthew 26:21
And while they were eating, he said, "I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me."


I'll Prepare for You
Parody of "I'll Be There for You" performed by the Rembrandts
and written by M. J. Skloff, D.L. Crane, M. F. Kauffman, D.C. Wilde,
P.R. Solem & A.S. Willis (John 14)

So Jesus told His disciples, I'm gonna go away
But where I go you know. They all cried, Please explain.
He said, You've all been stuck in second grade
If you haven't seen the Way, the Truth, the Life is here in your face ... but

I'll prepare for you ... prepare a place up above
I'll prepare for you ... 'cause I've been there before
I'll prepare for you ... and you prepare for me, too.

I'll send another friend to help you on your way
You'll learn from Him, you'll go far. Please don't be afraid
The Father helped me do the things I did
But you even will do greater works than that if you believe -- that
CHORUS

The world could never know Him -- The world could not receive Him
So you're the only ones who know what it's like to know Him
There'll come a place and day when He'll come to live inside you
Soon when all of this happens you will know the words I said were true.

Seems like you've all been stuck in second grade
If you haven't seen the Way, the Truth, the Life is here in your face, but
CHORUS

John 14:3
"And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."


Although None Could Watch an Hour
Parody of "All Along the Watchtower" performed by the Jimi Hendrix Experience and written by Bob Dylan
(Mark 14:32-53)

If there is some kind of way out of this
Said the Savior through the grief
Then use that solution
And take this cup from Me
If this bitter drink of wine
Now can't be reversed
To Thine omniscient will divine
O, Father, I will defer

Though He had already prayed it
Those things three times He spoke
There were many here among us
Who felt surprised when they awoke
But you know Christ He went through that
And this is what He prayed
Soon dead of night was falling down
The hour He'd get betrayed

Although none could watch an hour
We just slept on through
While all of Him was bathed in sweat
Facing certain doom
Our Lord went the whole distance
And while that went down
Judas he was approaching
And with him an angry crowd

Mark 14:37
Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Simon," he said to Peter, "are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour?"


Last Night
Parody of "Last Kiss" performed by Pearl Jam and J. Frank Wilson & the Cavaliers and written by Wayne Cochran
(Matthew 26:33-56, Luke 22:39-62)

Oh where oh where can my Savior be
The Lord – they took Him away from me
They've gone ahead and nailed Him onto the wood
So I can't see my Savior when I need Him most

He was down on His knees in an olive gard'n
He had been prayin' very hard
There in the grove – strangers came
A crowd with swords – they mentioned His name

I couldn't stop 'em though I certainly tried
I went for the head of some bad guy
But Jesus Christ – He touched him fast
Replaced the ear that I had slashed

Oh where oh where can my Savior be
The Lord, they took Him away from me
They've gone and nailed the Son of God to the wood
So I can't see my Savior when I need Him most

When I showed up – they had the Lord on trial
There were people standin' all around
Some men corn'red me so I denied
But somehow Christ found my face with His eyes
At dinner last night He'd looked at me and said
"You'll deny me in just a little while."
I felt so cold to kiss Him off like this
I failed the Lord and I knew that I did
But now He's gone even though I hope and cry
I cost my Lord His life last night

Oh where oh where can my Savior be
The Lord, they took Him away from me
He's gone to Heaven and it's not looking good
Cause I can't see my Savior when I need Him most

Matthew 26:58
But Peter was following Him at a distance as far as the courtyard of the high priest, and entered in, and sat down with the officers to see the outcome.


Too Much Grime on My Hands
Parody of "Too Much Time on My Hands" performed by Styx and written by Tommy Shaw
(Matthew 27:11-26, Mark 15:1-15, Luke 23:1-25, John 18:28-19:22)

Well, I'm sick of all this harsh rule
I'm Pontius Pilate that's who
Got those zealous confused Jews
And I've given up home, all those happy days in Rome
And the battles of old too
Is there anyone here who's not crazy?
Is there anyone here who's sane at all?

Well, I'm so tired of Jerus'lem n' all the fussin' and feuds
It's all that they do here
Well, I know that truism that there's no place like Rome
And I'd like to get there
Is there anyone here who's not a criminal?
Is there anyone who don't belong in jail?

Is it any wonder I've got too much crime on my hands
I'm sick of the strays that they send to me
I've got too much crime on my hands
It's hard to be me, oh the humanity
I've got too much crime on my hands
So just take Him away, take Him away from me
Too much crime on my hands
Just t-t-t-take Him away
I don't know what to do with this Man
Too much crime on my hands

Well now they sent me Jesus
Like I don't have enough problems
Now I need to try Him
He's got a dozen friends
And there's hundreds of enemies who all want Him dyin'
With His many wonders they're not impressed with Him
Is it any wonder I've got no choice?

Is it any wonder I've got too much grime on my hands
It's stickin' like paint to my hands, you see
I've got too much grime on my hands
It's hard to be clean when you're a man like me
I've got too much grime on my hands
So just take Him away, take Him away from me
Too much grime on my hands
Just t-t-t-take Him away
I don't know what to do with this Man
Too much grime on my hands

Matthew 27:24
When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, but that instead an uproar was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. "I am innocent of this man's blood," he said. "It is your responsibility!"


I Have to Die First
Parody of "Eye of the Tiger" performed by Survivor and written by Frankie
Sullivan & Jim Peterik (John 12:23-24, Mk. 8:31, 9:31-32, 10:34, Lk.
18:31-33, 1 Cor. 15:26,55)

"I'm risin' up," that's what He said
"It's My time -- let's commence this
In three days I will be back from the dead
There's a plan to fulfill in My life"
So many times, He'd talked in the past
About His passion and glory
"Just like the grain used for wheat has to die
I must die, so the wheat can arise"

He said, "I have to die first to fulfill all the signs
Risin' up through the power of My Father
And at last when the hour has come you'll know I was right
And I warned you before this that I had to die first"

Facin' death, in Gethsemane
Sweatin' blood, feelin' lonely
He prayed to God, "You can take this from Me
If You will," but He still had to die

He said, "I have to die first in this terrible fight
Risin' up through the power of My Father
And my last lonely hours I'll spend praying tonight
But I want you to know this -- that I have to die first"

Risin' up, hate filled the mob
Took the Lord up to Calvary
Read the sentence, He was nailed to the cross
But the Man that they killed is alive

He said, "I have to die first -- it's a strange way to fight
Risin' up through the power of My Father
And at last I'll arise and put the devil to flight
And I warned you before this that I have to die first
That I have to die first"

Mark 8:31
He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again.


Too Wicked for Paradise
Parody of "Two Tickets to Paradise" performed and written by Eddie Money
(Luke 23:39-43; Romans 6:6; Galatians 2:20)

Caught in our crimes I guess that we both knew
Someday that both of us would both be wanted and doomed
We did so wrong, we did so wrong
We did so wrong, we did so wrong

I'm on a stake my arms outstretched not from Him
They've got two wicked men on crosses now hanging
With One who didn't sin
He did no wrong, He did no wrong
He did no wrong, He did no wrong

I'm not too quick to prepare to die
But I'm going to act real fast with Jesus Christ
I've got two seconds to verify
I'm not too wicked for Paradise

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
I'm gonna beg you, Lord, forgive those awful years
And when your kingdom comes I hope You'll save me
He said, "Listen here – you know what?"
I'll take you along, take you along
Take you along, take you along

I've got true riches in Paradise
And those who ask Me that won't be denied
I've got you with Me in Paradise
So don't you act real sad, you'll see tonight
I've got true riches in Paradise
And those who ask Me that won't be denied
I've got you with Me to Paradise
I've brought you with Me to Paradise

Luke 23:43
Jesus answered him, "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise."


Cemetery Came Alive
Parody of "Semi-Charmed Life" performed by Third Eye Blind and written by Stephan Jenkins
(Matthew 27:51-53)

He's back and I'm hopin' you'll find Him
He's livin', He's comin', He lives for me
Says that we should teach the nations about His salvation
Jesus died and He rose – I believe
And it makes me smile, hope it does for you
To 27 Matthew come and we'll review
Jesus died and then the earth moved
Temple curtain was ripped and then divided in two
When it seemed as though things were gonna get worse
Brothers came alive that belonged in a hearse
There's a lot of people in their graves
Who came out and they was raised, I said

That was something else
When every Jewish cemetery came alive, baby, baby
That was something else
And now Christians ain't afraid ... to die
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

He died and rose -- listen folks
You should take a tip from a dude who knows
And I wish I could get back there someplace after
Violently the earth began to shake
Soon the curse of death was lifted off us in its wake
It broke rocks
The folks in town where in shock
When the stiffs that had risen went out for a walk
'Cause when they jumped up
They took a trip around the city
And went up to men and then went up to Heaven and
Now we'll all go back there too
The place with all those who sleep in Christ who
Followed our Savior up unto
The place where He went
CHORUS

I believe that the man named Jesus rose
I preach 'cause it's real and not just a feeling
I believe and my faith it grows
And before I close, you may be bright
But when it's the truth, it's real
And I could die and I would be all right, all right
And when complaints come in from anyone nasty
Who tell us that it's just an idiot myth
On the verge of being a lie
Now I shrug 'cause truth survives
Though they choose to carry out jealous threats
Scornin' Jesus and bustin' heads
That little-read passage in Matthew says
That up around the bend we'll break out of our caskets
Sprung -- not as zombies or as ghost men
But as something that's more than human forevermore
If I get buried underground
Not scared -- I'm not goin' down – oh, no
My Lord's runnin' my life
He's got my tombstone knocked down with a smile
And I will be all right, all right
That was something else
When He gave you His life, baby
That was something else
And now Christians ain't afraid ... to die
To die, to die, to die!

He died and rose -- listen folks
You should take a tip from a dude who knows
In the twenty-seventh chapter
The Gospel of Matthew
Is the place where you should start
That was something else

Matthew 27:51-53
At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people.


Huge Slumber Party
Parody of "Use Somebody" performed and written by Kings of Leon
(Matthew 28:1-15, Mark 16:1-8, Luke 24:1-12, John 20:1-9)

All the Romans around now are lookin' down they're all asleep
And the place where He was laid has rolled up sheets
You know it's like a huge slumber party
You know it's like a huge slumber party

Someone has moved that old huge stone but how could this be
'Cause it must have weighed a ton and all could see
You know it's hard to lose someone's body
You know it's hard to lose someone's body
Someone broke through

All through the night while the eleven of us went off to weep
He waited for the break of morn without a peep
I hope it was a breakthrough moment
I know it was a breakthrough moment

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

All the Romans around now are lookin' down they're all asleep

Matthew 28:12-13
When the chief priests had met with the elders and devised a plan, they gave the soldiers a large sum of money, telling them, "You are to say, 'His disciples came during the night and stole him away while we were asleep.'"


Magdalena
Parody of "Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix)" performed by Los Del Rio and written by Rafael Ruiz Perdigones & Antonio Romero Monge
(Mark 16:9; John 20:1-18; Luke 8:2)

If by chance they call me Magdalena
It's because of the place from where I came-a
I'm called Mary, I'm one of many
So I'll tell you the place to find me
Mark 16, John 20
And Magdala's the name of my city
Mark 16, John 20
And Magdala's the name of my city

All the apostles said, We hear you, Magdalena
You're the first to see Christ
Since the day he passed away now
How are we s'posed to believe in what you say now?
Hey, Magdalena!
REPEAT

Now don't you worry about the Lord, friends
Although He seemed to be finito
Hah! I know one thing, He's still standing
It does no good to cry – - LAUGHTER
Now c'mon!
What was I supposed to do?
He was out of the tomb
And his true friends were still crying!
CHORUS

I'll remind you, my name is Magdalena
I was exorcised of seven demons but I'm free now
Christ saved me, and delivered me
And so I felt I should support His ministry
CHORUS

John 20:18
Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: "I have seen the Lord!" And she told them that he had said these things to her.


One Headline
Parody of "One Headlight" performed by The Wallflowers and written by Jakob Dylan
(Mark 16:15, Luke 24:33-34, Acts 5:42, Romans 10:15, 1 Corinthians 15:5)

So long ago I don't remember when
That's when He said "You must be born again"
But since He died Jesus hasn't spoken much to me
My visit to this cemetery's bleak
He said the Son's comin' back when the funeral is done
I've long hoped He'd somehow pull it off
The stone it's been rolled away and all we have's an empty grave
I wonder if He hung around this place
Hey-ey-ey

Come on try to listen -- You can get forgiven
This Gospel means something better than just religion
But we have seen the savior -- put it all the papers
We can drive it home
With one headline

She said He told me to get His friends and say
The Man they put faith in has been raised
So there's got to be a hope that He
Could somehow He even pardon me
Through His amazing holiness and grace
I see the Son up ahead as those doubts of mine fade
Says all is good, there's nothing left to dread
I run and tell the other friends
The Man they killed is not still dead
But in the end there's just three words I said
Hey-ey-ey

Come on try to listen -- You can get forgiven
This Gospel means something better than just religion
But me, I've seen the savior -- put it all the papers
We can drive it home
With one headline

My faith is bold
Still they might just beat us up
They heard the message but the lesson wasn't learned
We tell them Jesus Christ is resurrected
They just all act circumspect
Sometimes I think they'd like to watch us burn
I've seen it all
And He's just like nobody else
Man, I've been changed, and I'll never be the same
And some will hear instantly
But in this drama's final scene
I think the skeptics might be killing me
Hey, hey, hey-ey-ey-ey-ey

Come on try to listen -- You can get forgiven
This Gospel means something better than just religion
But we have seen the savior -- put it all the papers
We can drive it home
With one headline

Luke 24:34
and saying, "It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon."


Emmaus
Parody of "Shambala" performed by Three Dog Night and written by Daniel Moore
(Luke 24:13-32, Mark 16:12-13, John 19:25)

Walked away our troubles, walked away our pain
When today the Son rose up
Talked as we walked our road towards Emmaus way
When a stranger stunned both of us
Oh oh woo hoo hoo hoo hoo yeah ... Emm-a-a-a-us!
Oh oh woo hoo hoo hoo hoo yeah ... Emm-a-a-a-us!

Tell me what has happened, said the other guy
How come you both look glum a lot
We said, come on, buddy, everyone here knows why
Out on this road you've stumbled on
Oh oh woo hoo hoo hoo hoo yeah ... Emm-a-a-a-us!
Oh oh woo hoo hoo hoo hoo yeah ... Emm-a-a-a-us!

Galilee's bright light was a prophet from above
Now Jesus Christ died, and things all have crumbled up
LEAD

I can tell you, mister, there's no doubt that Jesus died
How all of the Romans humbled us
Now some of our sisters tried to tell us He's alive
Got all the hopes of some folks up
I don't know-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh yeah, He was de-yay-yay-yay-ead
Oh oh woo hoo hoo hoo hoo yeah, then the stra-a-anger said

How are your eyes blind when this all comes from above?
Doubts fill your bright minds, and your thoughts are jumbled up
There are countless divine signs in the Prophets, Psalms, and Law
Telling how
How the Lord's lifetime would involve such sufferin' love

Oh oh woo hoo hoo hoo hoo yeah ... Emm-a-a-a-us!
Oh oh woo hoo hoo hoo hoo yeah ... now we know who that Someone was
Oh oh woo hoo hoo hoo hoo yeah ... Son of God had come along
Oh oh woo hoo hoo hoo hoo yeah ,,, on the road to comfort us

Luke 24:13
Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem.


Scars
Parody of "Cars" performed and written by Gary Numan
(John 20:24-29, Isaiah 53:4-5)

Here are My scars – I came straight through the wall
You can lock all the doors – but you'll only believe with scars
Here are My scars – Isaiah 53
It predicted for you – the way I'd pay for your lives with scars

Here are My scars – well, there isn't a doubt
That I'm risen indeed– if I show you My four nail scars
Here are My scars – I know you're starting to think
About believing in Christ – you know, nothing heals like these scars

John 20:26-27
A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."


Didn't Just Die
Parody of "Live and Let Die" performed by Paul McCartney & Wings and written by Paul & Linda McCartney (1 Cor. 15:12-20)

When He was hung on the cross like a common crook
Accusers said He was just dead
(You know they did, you know they did, you know they did)
But it was everlasting life that He was livin'
They'd soon get a surprise
He didn't just die! Didn't just die!
Didn't just die! Didn't just die!

You should sing hallelujah!
Man, He did a job for you ya couldn't do yourself
He had to save ya from the pit of Hell

Now you still say He was just dead
(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)
But He could never save this world unless He's livin'
Don't you give up on Christ
He didn't just die! Didn't just die!
Didn't just die! Didn't just die!

1 Cor. 15:14
And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith.


Died and Rose
Parody of "China Grove" performed by the Doobie Brothers and written by Tom Johnston (1 Cor. 15:3-5, 1 Thess. 4:14)

When the Son come down He was deep within the ground
Surrounded by a giant stone
And it's no surprise that on the Sabbath day all His pals stayed home
But things were all about to change and they never were the same

Well, we're talkin' 'cause He died and rose
Whoa ho ho -- whoa ho
Died and rose!

Well, their leader, Simon Peter, and John the Apostle
They took a walk to the tomb
And the Gospel came alive when they arrived and they found an empty room
But they had forgotten His claim that He'd resurface again

We're talkin' 'cause He died and rose
Whoa ho ho -- whoa ho
Died and rose!

But then He came when the group met Sunday
They had locked the doors and shut the room
But standin' right among them was the man they called Lord
You just should have seen the look in their eyes!
But Thomas would doubt it for eight more days
Till Jesus came when he was there
He just took one look and he believed!
LEAD

We're talkin' 'cause He died and rose
Whoa ho ho -- whoa ho
Died and rose!

1 Cor. 15:3-4
For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures …


You May Be Bright
Parody of "You May Be Right" performed and written by Billy Joel (John
3:19-21)

Friday Christ had just departed
Saturday Christ's grave was guarded
Sunday came and Christ came out again
And the stone they had in front was a sturdy heavy one
That they all were much too weak to roll away
Now the men they had to guard that stone
Were top defensive guys from Rome
Even though Christ's own disciples were afraid
But the stone was knocked aside and He made it out alive
So you said they only moved Him from His grave

You may be bright -- I say you're crazy
Hey, but you just may need illuminated a little more
Turn on the light -- it's kinda shady
My faith is strong because I know the way He died

Welllllll … remember how they crowned Him there
'Cause Rome had no electric chair
They slowly tortured folks until they died
Yeah, the Romans scourged Him and
They said "Take this cross and stand
Cause we'd like you, Boy, to drag this for a while"
Then on top of all the things they'd tried, when
Christ was done they crucified Him
Someone's spear went straight through at His waist
But you say the Man just swooned and they all were just confused
And He really was just in a coma state

You may be bright -- I say you're crazy
Hey, but it just may be excuses that you're lookin' for
If you hate the light -- It's too late to save ya
My faith is strong because I know the way He died

LEAD

You may be bright -- I say you're crazy
Hey, but I just can't be the humanist you're lookin' for
Throw out the lies – ah, don't try to faze me
You say we're wrong because I know you hate the light

You say we're wrong but you hate the light
You say we're wrong but you hate the light
You say we're wrong but you hate the light
(Hey, but, babe, you hate the light)
You say we're wrong but you hate the light
(Oh, but, baby, baby)
You say we're wrong but you hate the light
(Hey, but, babe, you hate the light)
You say we're wrong but you hate the light
(You're fakin' uh uh uh, uh, uh – you hate the light)
You say we're wrong but you hate the light
(Ow! but, baby, baby)
You say we're wrong but you hate the light
(Babe, you hate the light)

John 3:19
"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil."