Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on "Quilt" (2016)?

Our 45th CD, Quilt, was released in September 2016. Here's what's on it:

1. Bought by the Egyptians Walk Like an Egyptian The Bangles
2. Beggar's Feet Baker Street Gerry Rafferty
3. Lotsa Versions Like a Virgin Madonna
4. Nightmare Waiting Right Here Waiting Richard Marx
5. The Books God Made You're Mockin' These Boots Are Made for Walkin' Nancy Sinatra
6. Barak & Deborah Abracadabra Steve Miller Band
7. Killing My Suffering with His Son Killing Me Softly with His Song Roberta Flack
8. Easter Easy The Commodores
9. All You Gotta Do All I Wanna Do Sheryl Crow
10. Romantic Letter The Letter The Box Tops
11. Garden My Heart Harden My Heart Quarterflash
12. You've Got a Text You've Got a Friend James Taylor

Here are the lyrics:

Bought By the Egyptians
Parody of "Walk Like an Egyptian" performed by The Bangles and written by Liam Sternberg
(Genesis 37:1-37, 39:1-41:57)

Now the Amazing Technicolor Coat's a fantastic Broadway show
If a movie's made (Oy vey oh)
It'd prob'ly sound quite phenomenal
All because a man's brothers sold him, got the money and off they went
Was a cocky child (Oy vey oh)
But that still seems inconsiderate
Going twice for a marked-up price, say
(Way oy vey oy vey oy vey oh)
Bought by the Egyptians

A bondslave was his fate there
Trained and then he found entry jobs galore
Paid lotsa dues (Oy vey oh)
But kept his dreams and he praised the Lord
All the girls dig Joseph's good looks he's quite the hunk and a better man
But because of these (Oy vey oh)
His boss's wife canned him in the end
Throw that slave in the darkest place, hey
(Way oy vey oy vey oy vey oh)
Caught by the Egyptians
LEAD

(Whistle)
While the Pharaoh's asleep
Dreams go bad, he gets alarmed, and he tells his staff
I've got to know (Oy vey oh)
Just why did those scrawny cattle attack?
If you want the guy for the job he's hangin' out in the dungeon block
Yes, bring him hence (Oy vey oh)
To swiftly come to sit down and talk
All this happened in Egypt and yet their smartest boy was an immigrant
That guy named Joe (Oy vey oh)
He taught the bright, wise Egyptians
So they got him a real nice job with
Pharaoh, Pharaoh, Pharaoh, Pharaoh
Sought by the Egyptians
Sought by the Egyptians

Genesis 37:36
Meanwhile, the Midianites sold Joseph in Egypt to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh's officials, the captain of the guard.


Beggar's Feet
Parody of "Baker Street" performed and written by Gerry Rafferty
(Acts 3:1-4:22)

Windin' your way 'round the beggar's feet
Christ's in your head and He says stop and speak
Well, you're not a crazy flake
But you can't deny the Way
And forget about everything
His Spirit in you makes you feel so bold
You got to go help His people
But you've got no gold
And as they just move along
They'll find out you and John
Serve a God who has everything

In truth, the beggar needs to know Jesus
His useless legs would leap and go places
If you'll try it, he'll try 'em out
And now the Spirit sets his feet tappin'
Just one more miracle you've seen happen
But you're findin' the Lord's shinin' down

Hey that was neat there's a fight in its place
They took you to court because you preached on His grace
And they ask you what you did, you tell 'em who He is
And you talk about many things
They've got this thing about Christ and they're mad
They're gonna get after you if you talk like that
And they tell you settle down, keep quiet in the town
And forget about everything

But you know you'll always keep truthin'
You know you're never gonna stop provin'
That He rose and He can roll the stone
And when they make additional, new warnings
The Son of God will get you through, darlin'
'Cause you're sowin' till you're goin' home

Acts 4:19-20
But Peter and John replied, "Which is right in God's eyes: to listen to you, or to him? You be the judges! As for us, we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard."


Lotsa Versions
Parody of "Like a Virgin" performed by Madonna and written by Billy Steinberg & Tom Kelly
(Nehemiah 8:8, 2 Timothy 3:16, Hebrews 4:12, Isaiah 40:8, 1 Peter 1:24-25)

I went onto the Internet
For Bible-reading group
Did you know there's a lot of versions
It's alphabet soup
NIV, NLT
NAS and ESV, too
Well, it made me feel
Yeah, it made me feel
Kinda confused

Lotsa versions
Watch for the various kinds
Lotsa versions
When you start to read, if you find

You wanna get them all at once, boy
Now here's a place for that
BibleGateway is awesome, dude
And BibleHub's a blast
Yes, you'll find -- them online
They're dot coms
Yeah, they made me bold
'Cause they left no doubt
That the Lord's Word now
Wasn't dead and cold

Lotsa versions hey
But they sorted every verse line
Lotsa versions if it's hard to read, check a few kinds

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh oh oh (ah!)
Whoa oh oh oh oh

Yes, you'll find it's divine
It endures till the end of time
And it may seem weird
But they made things clear
With dozens of kinds

Lotsa versions hey -- but that's a very good sign
Lotsa versions lets you always check each line
Lotsa versions ooh ooh ooh ooh lotsa versions
King James wouldn't mind
When you start to read
And it's hard to read
Take it from me
Oh oh -- oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Nehemiah 8:8
They read from the Book of the Law of God, making it clear and giving the meaning so that the people understood what was being read.


Nightmare Waiting
Parody of "Right Here Waiting" performed and written by Richard Marx
(Daniel 4:1-37, Ezekiel 21:18-27, Exodus 9:16, John 19:11, Romans 9:16-18)

O, king, you're smart, famous, and brave
Yet I know you'll go insane
He hears my voice prophesy
But he doesn't stop to pray
Advising King Nebuchadnezzar
Well, how can I say this better?

Wherever you go, whatever you do
God's will decides it way before you
Whatever your strength, or how you might think
God's will decides it way before you

You took for granted all the times
That you fought on battlegrounds
I fear disaster might make this clear
But a threat can't scare you now
O, king, you'd see it maybe
If God, He drove you crazy

Wherever you go, whatever you do
God's will decides it way before you
Whatever's at stake, or how the cards break
God's will decides it way before you

I wonder how he can survive with no sense
But in the end He'll find the truth when he repents

"This is the interpretation, Your Majesty, and this is the decree the Most High has issued against my lord the king: You will be driven away from people and will live with the wild animals; you will eat grass like the ox and be drenched with the dew of heaven. Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over all kingdoms on earth and gives them to anyone he wishes." (Daniel 4:24-25)

O, king, you'll see it plainly
When God restores you sanely

Wherever you go, whatever you do
God's will decides it way before you
Whatever your state or how you chart fate
God's will decides it way before you
Way before you

Daniel 4:34
At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever.


These Books God Made You're Mockin'
Parody of "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'" performed by Nancy Sinatra and written by Lee Hazlewood
(Proverbs 30:5-6, Revelation 22:18-19)

You keep sayin' the truth God spoke is phony
(And) some things you call us I can't list
You've been impressin' men who could've been in Heaven
They'll go somewhere else regrettin' all they've missed

These books God made you're mockin'
Perhaps you doubt they're true
One of these days these books are gonna shock all those who do
(Yeah)

You keep lyin' about what God has put the truth in
And you've leafed through it but you've probably not read
You keep sayin' things you oughta be ashamed of
Well, the Bible's right, but you ain't seen quite yet

These books God made you're mockin'
Perhaps you doubt they're true
One of these days these books are gonna shock all those who do

You keep strayin' when you should've been a-prayin'
And you keep thinkin' that He'll never return (Hah!)
I suggest you start reading in the book of Matthew, yeah
From what we know, you ain't got time to burn

These books God made you're mockin'
Perhaps you doubt they're true
One of these days these books are gonna shock all those who do
Have you read the Book?
Ssstop talkin'!

Proverbs 30:6
Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.


Barak & Deborah
Parody of "Abracadabra" performed by The Steve Miller Band and written by Steve Miller
(Judges 4:1-5:31, 1 Samuel 12:11, Hebrews 11:32)

I read up I can't put it down
'Cause God's Word's really profound and sound
'Round this town, they doubt it, though
And where is God? Nobody knows
In the time the Judges reigned
The people's problems were the same
Then there came two who inspired
Just a lady with a guy right beside her

That was Barak and Deborah
In Judges -- seek out the chapter
Chapter 4, 5, etc. -- Barak and Deborah

You may be not a great big guy
You may be half of David's size
Keep returning to the Lord above
Like the Judges I tell you of

That was Barak and Deborah
In Judges -- seek out the chapter
Chapter 4, 5, etc. -- Barak and Deborah

At first Barak he was sure a mess
But little Debbie was a prophetess
Still King Jabin threatened their race
Back then it was a dangerous place
I can imagine the Israelites
Might fear those nasty Canaanites
But Deborah said, Barak, don't get afraid
Just fear the Lord and do what I say

That was Barak and Deborah
In Judges -- seek out the chapter
Chapter 4, 5, etc. -- Barak and Deborah

Sisera the commander came
To beat up Barak but turned in shame
Turned in vain, 'cause Jael was right there
Just a lady with the eye of the tiger yeah yeah eah eah

I read up I can't put it down
It's inspirational and profound
I read up I can't put it down
It's inspirational and profound

Judges 4:9
"Certainly I will go with you," said Deborah. "But because of the course you are taking, the honor will not be yours, for the Lord will deliver Sisera into the hands of a woman." So Deborah went with Barak to Kedesh.


Killing My Suffering with His Son
Parody of "Killing Me Softly with His Song" performed by Roberta Flack and written by Norman Gimbel
(Matthew 20:28, Mark 10:45, John 3:16-17, 1 Timothy 2:5-6, Hebrews 9:15)

Coming to pay for my failures
Saving my life with His Word
Killing my suffering with His Son
Killing my suffering with His Son
Filling my whole life with His Word
Killing my suffering with His Son

I heard He sent us His Son
I heard but had my doubts
And so I came to see Him as lessons for a child
But there He was, this one voice
That stayed there through my life

Coming to pay for my failures
Saving my life with His Word
Killing my suffering with His Son
Killing my suffering with His Son
Filling my whole life with His Word
Killing my suffering with His Son

I failed to trust in Jesus
Embarrassed, blind, and proud
Until I found His letters and read each one out loud
I prayed that He'd forgive me
And He just kept right on

Coming to pay for my failures
Saving my life with His Word
Killing my suffering with His Son
Killing my suffering with His Son
Filling my whole life with His Word
Killing my suffering with His Son

It seemed as if He knew me
In all my darkness there
And when things looked quite gloomy
With Him I wasn't scared
When we accept our savior
He won't steer us wrong

Coming to pay for my failures
Saving my life with His Word
Killing my suffering with His Son
Killing my suffering with His Son
Filling my whole life with His Word
Killing my suffering with His Son

Mark 10:45
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."


Easter
Parody of "Easy" performed by The Commodores and written by Lionel Richie
(John 3:16, 11:25; 1 John 4:10; 1 Peter 2:24; 1 Timothy 2:5-6; Isaiah 53:1-12; Romans 4:25; Ephesians 5:2)

It's not about bunnies or the baskets and the eggs
But it's Easter here tomorrow
Seems the free world, you know, they want all the candy
But Jesus saves souls from their sorrow
Yeah Ooh

That's why it's Easter (oh oh oh oh)
It's Easter on Sunday morning, yeah (oh oh oh oh)
That's why it's Easter (oh oh oh oh)
It's Easter on Sunday morning

Why in the world did He shed His blood in exchange for me (yeah)
And pay my dues to save me
Everyone who wants to receive it need only believe
And I'm happy now that Christ forgave me
Whoa
Ooh

That's why it's Easter (yeah!) (oh oh oh oh)
It's Easter on Sunday morning, yeah (oh oh oh oh)
That's why it's Easter (oh oh oh oh)
It's Easter on Sunday morning

The ones who b'lieve Christ won't die
The ones who seek Jesus know when things are through they'll rise
It's totally free -- Trust me
Oh, right
Ooh!
LEAD

That's why it's Easter (oh oh oh oh)
It's Easter on Sunday morning, yeaaah (oh oh oh oh)
That's why it's Easter (oh oh oh oh)
It's Easter on Sunday morning (oh oh oh oh)
Whoa!
'Cause it's Eeeeeeeaster wooh! (oh oh oh oh)
Easter on Sunday morning yeah (oh oh oh oh)
'Cause it's Easter (oh oh oh oh)
Easter on Sunday morning (oh oh oh oh)

Romans 4:25
He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.


All You Gotta Do
Parody of "All I Wanna Do" performed by Sheryl Crow and written by David Baerwald, Bill Bottrell, Wyn Cooper, Sheryl Crow & Kevin Gilbert
(Romans 3:25, 5:9; Ephesians 2:8-10; Micah 6:6-8; John 6:28-29)

Hit it!
I ain't no bimbo!
This ain't no cult I'm in, either!
It's the real way!

All I wanna do is have a home in Heaven when I die
Says a man next to me How do I go there?
'Cause I don't know nothin' -- I'm just a shameful failure
And I'm sure I'd feel real silly at a Bible study
Can you explain something to me?
'Cause I wonder if I'll ever have a way of findin' eternal life
And me, I think it's clear it'll soon be doomsday
And as far as faith is concerned, I'm sure lost
And the good people of the world
Are worshipping God every Sunday
Holy and celibate I bet they came to church in suits
The guy beside me thought that he blew it
I'd better show him somethin' and let him know the truth
'Cause it's nothing like that really, you see

'Cause all you gotta do is have God's Son
That's not a theory; my God, He told me, hon
All you gotta do is have God's Son
I'm talkin' Jesus; there's lots of phony ones
All you gotta do is have God's Son
That really sums things up on this matter 'cause it's not really hard

I like my good friend Paul's letter to the Romans
He said that Christ was killed to save us and we're bought with His blood
He spreads His arms apart and He loves every man with an oversized passion
Instead of lettin' each one burn
Now He can fix sinners even though there's a curse in our lives
'Cause we got into trouble with God when we sinned at the start
When the happy couple entering the garden
Flagrantly chose to run amok there
But God sent us His Son if you want that

'Cause all you gotta do is have God's Son
That's not a theory; my God, He told me, hon
All you gotta do is have God's Son
I'm talkin' Jesus; there's lots of phony ones
All you gotta do is have God's Son
That really sums things up on this matter 'cause it's not really hard
LEAD

Otherwise we'd all be lost
But, hey, it's all right 'cause the Lord wants you
The Bible says to trust and believe in the Son of God
He's comin' real soon

'Cause all you gotta do is have God's Son
That's not a theory; my God, He told me, hon
All you gotta do is have God's Son
I'm talkin' Jesus; there's lots of phony ones
All you gotta do is have God's Son
Why not just read it? Yes, start the New Testament
All you gotta do is have God's Son
I'm gonna tell you once more and only once
All you gotta do is have God's Son
That really sums things up on this matter 'cause it's not really hard
That really sums things up on this matter 'cause it's not really hard

John 6:29
Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent."


Romantic Letter
Parody of "The Letter" performed by the Box Tops and written by Wayne Carson Thompson
(Romans 1:16, 5:8, 8:1)

In the epistles, boy, it's very plain
Ain't much time, so get your facts straight
Romans is the one that was goin' to Rome
So now, baby, it's a Romantic letter

I don't care how much Nietzsche said God is dead
God took us back and He saved me instead
Romans says that God planned it all along
So now, baby, it's a romantic letter

It's a romantic letter cause we couldn't live
Without the Lord's love
This epistle says to me that God took us back
And He'll take us up above
Anyway, yeah

Give me a minute more, I'll demonstrate
Check out 5 verse 8, 'cause that's great
Lo, the face of God dyin' on a cross
So now, baby, it's a romantic letter

It's a romantic letter cause we couldn't live
Without the Lord's love
Listen, mister, can't you see that God took us back
And He'll take us up above?
Anyway, yeah

Give me a ticket for the narrow way
Ain't much time, so make a fast break
Romans 8 verse 1 drives the point home
'Cause now, baby, it's a romantic letter
Because now, baby, it's a romantic letter

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.


Garden My Heart
Parody of "Harden My Heart" performed by Quarterflash and written by Marv Ross
(Hosea 10:12, Jeremiah 4:3, James 5:7-8)

I am like a farmer, waitin' on the rain
I stare up at Heaven and I pray again
You gave me Your Word -- words of truth and life
Pardonin' my wild misdeeds -- and every thought I'd sown
With this kindness that You've shown

I'm gonna garden my heart
It's gone to fallow, I fear
I'm gonna turn and seek You here

All of my life I've been wastin' Your grain
I've been basin' it on feelings -- and never ever faith
The field still grows but all these weeds appeared
Farmers need to plow, it seems I never had a clue
Well, it's time You taught me to

I'm gonna garden my heart
Don't wanna follow my peers
I'm gonna turn and seek You here
LEAD

Pardon all my wild misdeeds -- and every thought I sow
With this kindness that You show

I'm gonna garden my heart
Break up the fallow ground here
It's gonna turn and be a new year

I'm gonna garden my heart
It's gone to fallow, I fear
I'm gonna garden my heart
Don't wanna follow my peers
Garden my heart
Break up the fallow ground here
Hoe, oh, oh, oh
Garden my heart
I'm gonna garden my heart
It's gone to fallow, I fear
I'm gonna garden my heart
Don't wanna follow my peers
Garden my heart, garden my heart
Startin' right here
I'm gonna garden my heart
I'm a-gonna start it right here

Hosea 10:12
Sow with a view to righteousness, reap in accordance with kindness; break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the Lord until He comes to rain righteousness on you.


You've Got a Text
Parody of "You've Got a Friend" performed by James Taylor and written by Carole King
(Joel 2:32, Acts 2:21, Romans 10:13, Revelation 3:20)

When your debts have doubled
And you need a cell phone plan
Where nothing will cost you a roaming price
Hold the line I think you need -- Acts 2, verse 21
So listen up Peter gives smart advice

You just call on the name
Of the Lord, who is the I Am
He'll come right in oh, yeah, baby -- and free you from sin
If you slip, stumble, or fall
All you got to do is call
And you'll see there, yeah, yeah, yeah -- you've got a text

If there's scars upon you
And your heart is full of doubts
And you don't -- know where to begin to go
Seek your heav'nly Savior and call Christ's name out loud, now
You'll find He's knockin' upon your door

You just call on that name
And you know -- who is the I Am
Look up Romans go get that mail -- and read chapter 10
10:13 sums up it all, yeah
Now you've got the news from Paul
And you'll see there, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a text
Which Peter received from Joel
Refer to Joel 2:32
Well, He'll save your soul if you'll let Him
Oh, yeah, now so won't you let Him?

You just call on Christ's name (on Christ's name)
And for whosoever does that
He'll come right in
To free you from sin
Oh, baby, don't you know now
Check with Saint Peter or Paul
They know all you got to do is call-all
The Lord'll be there, yes, He will, yo -- you've got a text
You've got a text, yeah
Ain't it good to know you've got a text
Ain't it good to know you've got a text
Oh, yeah, yeah -- you've got a text

Romans 10:13
for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."