Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on "Only a Glorified Cover Band" (2016)?

Our 46th CD, Only a Glorified Cover Band, was released in December 2016. Here's what's on it:

1. Message in the Bible - Message in a Bottle - The Police
2. Cunning is the Devil - Runnin' with the Devil - Van Halen
3. There Are Wolves Among Us - Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
4. Holy Land - Hold My Hand - Hootie & the Blowfish
5. HardLabor - Heartbreaker - Led Zeppelin
6. Living Loving Faith - Living Loving Maid - Led Zeppelin
7. Doubter - Daughter - Pearl Jam
8. Blabbed Through the Phone - Bad to the Bone - George Thorogood & the Destroyers
9. God's Zealot - Godzilla - Blue Φyster Cult
10. The Bible Countdown - The Final Countdown - Europe
11. The Sound of Sirens - The Sound of Silence - Disturbed
12. Clothing Time - Closing Time - Semisonic
13. Bob Dylan - Godzilla - Blue Φyster Cult

Here are the lyrics:

Message in the Bible
Parody of "Message in a Bottle" performed by the Police and written by Sting
(Colossians 2:8-10, John 3:16-17, Matthew 24:35, Mark 13:31, Luke 21:33)

Oh! There's a vast array of idle philosophies, oh
They want to know the way, but no one's here but Me, though
More holiness than any man could bear
Yes, you see the door to follow through is narrow

I'll send My S-o-n to the world
I'll send My S-o-n to the world
I hope that someone gets My
I hope that some will get My
I know that some will get My
Message in the Bible, yeah
Message in the Bible, yeah

The years have passed since I wrote My quotes
I sent them notice right from the start
The Holy Ghost can teach them the rest, though
Let Him in your life, illuminate your heart

I'll send My S-o-n to the world
I'll send My S-o-n to the world
I hope that someone gets My
I hope that some will get My
I know that some will get My
Message in the Bible, yeah
Message in the Bible, yeah
Ohhhhh, message in the Bible, yeah
Message in the Bible, yeah

Wrote down these warnings – they don't believe in My Law
100 million Bibles tossed out and ignored
Seems a lot of folks are reading it, though
And it will not pass away – look there for some hope

I'll send My S-o-n to the world
I'll send My S-o-n to the world
I hope that someone gets My
I hope that some will get My
I know that some will get My
Message in the Bible, yeah
Message in the Bible, whoa
Message in the Bible, whoa
Message in the Bible, yeah
Sending down My S-o-n
Sending down My S-o-n
I'm sending down My S-o-n
I'm sending down My S-o-n
I'm sending down My S-o-n
I'm sending down My S-o-n
Sending down My S-o-n
Sending down My S-o-n

Colossians 2:8
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ.


Cunning is the Devil
Parody of "Running with the Devil" performed by Van Halen and written by Michael Anthony, David Lee Roth, Alex Van Halen & Eddie Van Halen
(2 Corinthians 2:11, 4:3-4; Genesis 3:1; Revelation 12:9, 20:2)

I lived my life like there's no good morals
Didn't follow God – I laughed at Sheol
He's not extinct -- no stegosaurus
Yes, God is livin' and old Satan's real

Oooh yeah – hey-uh-uhh
Cunning is the Devil
Uh huh yeah-eah
Woo hoo woo
Cunning is the Devil
He'll tell you all to doubt it

I found the sinful life ain't so simple
Ain't no snowplows -- on that road
It got so rough – too rough to "four-wheel"
It's like my body – Satan controlled

Ah yeah-eh-eh!
Cunning is the Devil
God said it, baby – you know He ain't lyin' to you
He's only gonna tell you what's right -- uhhh yeah
Cunning is the Devil
Guess I'm scammed – Yeah!

You know I -- I found the sinful life weren't so simple, no
And I slumped down from that load
I got so low – so low I could kneel
I talked to God and -- gave Him control

Uhhh yeah
Come and leave the Devil
Oh, God – Oh, God, I'm coming! Ahhhhh, yeah
Come and leave the Devil
Uh! Uh! I don't want more time

Heyyyyy yeah!
Come and leave the Devil
Uh yuh Uh yuhhhh yeah!
Come and leave the Devil
Wwoo! Wwwoo!
Come and leave the Devil
Uh huh, yeah! Uh huh, yeah! Uh-uh huh, yeah!
Come and leave the Devil
Ooo!

Genesis 3:1
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?"


There Are Wolves Among Us
Parody of "Werewolves of London" performed by Warren Zevon and written by LeRoy Marinell, Waddy Wachtel & Warren Zevon
(Acts 20:28-31; Matthew 7:15-20; Jude 1:4; 2 Peter 2:1-22; 1 John 2:18-19, 4:1-3; 2 John 1:9-11)

I saw a weird wolf with a Bible trembling in his hand
Talkin' to the sheep that don't know where to graze
He was lookin' for some ways to fleece those flocks
Gonna get a big church and preach 'bout faith

Aw hoo! There are wolves among us
Aw hoo!
Aw hoo! There are wolves among us
Aw hoo!

I hear 'em prowling around on Christian shows
Whenever I tune 'em in
Seen the holy Word of God mutilated late last night
They'll do it Sunday again

Aw hoo! There are wolves among us
Aw hoo!
Aw hoo! There are wolves among us
Aw hoo!
Huh!
LEAD

If you dare to say repent
They'll brand you a malcontent
Label me an overzealous naysayer
"You'd better stay away," they grin
We preach on love, not sin!"
Huh, then why'd we need a Savior

Aw hoo! There are wolves among us
Aw hoo!
Aw hoo! There are wolves among us
Aw hoo!

Well, I saw the Lord Jesus warnin' you and me
We should beware of wolves among us
I saw the Lord Jesus do it in Matthew 7:15 -- uh
We should beware of wolves among us
I saw various Apostles speakin' to people about it -- I made a list
It's filled with verses – ha!
Aw hooooooo! Acts 20:29
There are wolves among us
Jude 1:4
Aw hooooooo! 2 Peter 2:1
There are wolves among us
1 John 4:1
Aw hooooooo!
There are wolves among us

Acts 20:29
"I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock."


Holy Land
Parody of "Hold My Hand" performed by Hootie & the Blowfish and written by Mark Bryan, Dean Felber, Darius Rucker & Jim Sonefeld
(Joshua 24)

When the Lord above -- planned some land for this
He walked us through the water -- around the wilderness
With a little piece -- of some ground for me
We'll take the land together –- we'll take the Promised Land

'Cause God's got a land for you -- ahhh
A land that He promised you

Yes, today -- choose who you plan to serve
The land is full of idols here -- they're gonna make you swerve
So get rid of -- them can't you see they're vile
We'll take 'em all together -- drop 'em on a pile, 'cause

God's got a land for you -- God's got a land for you
A land that He promised you -- it's a land He promised you and
Holy land -- goin' to a whole new land
Holy land -- I'll take you to a place where you can be
Holy land -- after Deuteronomy, because
God's gonna give you the best of -- the best of the land

See, it was waiting -- and we were wasting time
Till we -- walked across the Jordan -- and fought the Canaanties
And there's still more -- and you must clean it out
We don't wanna deal with compromises
Don't wanna give an inch of ground, 'cause

God's got a land for you -- God's got a land for you
A land that He promised you – ah, it's a land He promised you-- ohhh
Holy land -- goin' to a holy land
Holy land -- I'll take you to the Promised Land
Holy land -- pledge allegiance to the Lord 'cause
God's gonna give you the best of -- the best of the land

LEAD Yeah-eah
Awwwww

Everyone, won't you listen, listen, listen
Holy land -- goin' to a whole new land
Holy land -- I'll take you to a place for you and me
Holy land – it's a place you'll wanna be, because
I-I-I oh-oh-oh know, know – know, know, know

Holy land -- goin' to a holy land
Holy land -- I'll take you to the Promised Land
Holy land – maybe we can't escape the world, but
God's gonna give you the best of, the best of the land
Ah-ah -- the best of the la-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-and

Joshua 24:15
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."


HardLabor
Parody of "Heartbreaker" performed by Led Zeppelin and written by John Bonham, John Paul Jones, Jimmy Page & Robert Plant
(Matthew 11:28-30; Ephesians 2:8-10; Leviticus 16:34; John 6:28-29; 2 Timothy 1:9; Titus 3:4-7; Galatians 2:16, 21; Romans 10:13, 11:5-6)

Hey, fellas, have you read the news?
You know, the manual's book's black and brown
The Lord gave laws but He wants to see
All who failed them lay their burdens down
He smiles at you with a grace that came on a cross so long ago
To summarize, God's gift is Christ -- I stand as one who knows

Well, He gave 10 laws and many more to the Israelites and Jews
And yet those Israelites know why He demands atonement, too
Some people try and some people die 'cause they disobey the Law
But I can't keep God's holy Law without grace from the Lord above

Jesus talks and Paul expounds about the way our best deeds lack
I don't doubt what those people say -- I know what they're driving at
One thing we do saves all our lives and you can verify these truths
It's to pray and call on the Son of God's name
And it's not really tough to do, yeah
It's not really tough – there ain't no excuse
And you can do it – believe it
LEAD

You work so hard but can't help Christ
Get somebody saved
If you might live a thousand times -- however hard you tried
Hard labor and time alone can't take your evil away
Go embrace our Savior
Hard labor, hard labor, hard

Matthew 11:28
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."


Living, Loving Faith (Please Just Don't Worry)
Parody of "Living Loving Maid (She's Just a Woman)" performed by Led Zeppelin and written by Jimmy Page & Robert Plant
(Philippians 1:6, Psalm 138:8, Micah 6:6-8, Matthew 11:28-30, Ephesians 2:8-10, John 6:28-29, Luke 12:32)

There's a purpose I'm fulfillin' and I'm fixin' on that
Believe Him, love Him, and just don't worry
I know His Son now and I ain't got a lack
Believe Him, love Him, and just don't worry

C'mon, babe, it's time you found this out
Lighten your heavy load now
We all need God to save us
So you'd better lay your burden down

God almighty's Son already paid all your bills
Believe Him, love Him, and just don't worry
When your conscience hits it's 'cause you're bad, but still
Believe Him, love Him, and just don't worry
CHORUS

Heaven's Son tells you now how you should be
Believe Him, love Him, and just don't worry
His abundant cleansing grace sets His servants free
Believe Him love Him, and just don't worry
(Awwwwww, get it now, trust Jesus)

LEAD
Aw, you got it, man!
MINI-LEAD

Nobody here can bring a work that saves
Believe Him, love Him, and just don't worry
But He'll keep us holy till our dyin' day
Believe Him, love Him, and just don't worry
CHORUS

Believe Him, love Him, and just don't worry
(Believe in Jesus, love His Father)
Believe Him, love Him, and just don't worry
(Live to believe and love to be loved)
Believe Him, love Him, and just don't worry

Luke 12:32
"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom."


Doubter
Parody of "Daughter" performed by Pearl Jam and written by Eddie Vedder & Stone Gossard
(John 11:16, 20:24-29; Matthew 28:17; Luke 24:10-11)

An old Christian
Gets mislabeled as a doubter, but did you know
He suffered – violence
Went around the world for missions, but
Thomas briefly doubted
Christ was resurrected
Christ forgave his … doubts
His name goes down in history
Tainted, though
Yet he died a martyr, so

Don't call me doubter – not fair to
The scripture text will remind me
Don't call me doubter – not fair to
That's in the past and behind me
Don't call me

He rose again -- they alllllll had doubts
They would – rise above
Woooo oooh

Don't call me doubter – not fair to
The scripture text will remind me
Don't call me doubter – not fair to me
That's in the past and behind me
Don't call me doubter – not fair to
The scripture text will remind me
Just call me martyr – I dared to preach
To skeptics -- that killed me finally
Don't call me

His name goes down
His name goes down
His name goes … goes
Goes

Luke 24:10-11
It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the others with them who told this to the apostles. But they did not believe the women, because their words seemed to them like nonsense.


Blabbed Through the Phone
Parody of "Bad to the Bone" performed by George Thorogood & the Destroyers and written by George Thorogood
(Proverbs 11:13, 16:28, 18:8, 20:19, 26:20-22; Romans 1:29; 2 Corinthians 12:20; 1 Timothy 5:13-14)

Now on one day I was bored -- at first I called all around
And then phrased a wild rumor –'bout a boy I had found
With that girl who's stuck up – they said, please leave us alone
I had to tell it right away – so I just blabbed through the phone
Blabbed through the phone, blabbed through the phone
B-b-b-b-b-blabbed, b-b-b-b-b-blabbed
B-b-b-b-b-blabbed, blabbed through the phone

They spoke about their hearts bein' pure; mine is, too
I'll speak about some more, baby – before I am through
You got any morsels to trade me? You're the source unknown
I hear they taste like honey when they're blabbed through the phone
Blabbed through the phone
B-b-b-b-b-blabbed, b-b-b-b-b-blabbed
B-b-b-b-b-blabbed, blabbed through the phone
GUITAR SOLO

I'm makin' this rumor vague -- gonna make a good little spiel
You think you know whom to trust – and it makes it fun more to squeal
I wanna hear more than you gave me -- choice is yours alone
I'm here to help you, honey -- then I'll blab through the phone
B-b-b-b-b-blab, b-b-b-b-b-blab
B-b-b-b-b-blab, blab through the phone
SAX SOLO
SECOND GUITAR SOLO

Now may I talk discreet? Kids, that means I'll confide
To everyone that I meet (heh heh) They all stay notified
I wanna tell you pretty plainly: what I see I make well known
What I hear I'm tellin', honey -- and I'll blab through the phone
Blab through the phone
B-b-b-b-b-blab, b-b-b-b-b-blab
B-b-b-b-b-blab
Woo! Blab through the phone

Proverbs 16:28
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.


God's Zealot
Parody of "Godzilla" performed by Blue Φyster Cult and written by Donald Roeser
(Matthew 10:4, Mark 3:18, Luke 6:15, Acts 1:13, Galatians 4:18)

When a person's called zealous it can scare a whole town
And fuel suspicion and tension, I've found
Zealous people are tough to train
His team advised, but Jesus ignored them
He picks out of a bunch of His chosen ones now
As He named Simon Zealot there were plenty of frowns

Oh, no, they say, he'll rock the boat
The Lord chose a zealot! Yeah, eh eh
Oh, no, hey, folks, don't revolt
That bro's God's zealot! Yeah, eh eh
LEAD

Oh, no, they say, he'll rock the boat
They don't know God's zealot! Yeah, eh eh
Oh, no, ergo those He knows
God chose -- God's zealot! Yeah, eh eh
BASS SOLO

God's zealot, zealot, zealot …

Oh, no, they say, he'll rock the boat
They don't know God's zealot! Yeah, eh eh
Oh, no, they're all folks He chose
And one of those is God's zealot! Yeah eh eh

Scripture it shows again and again our Savior picked out unpopular friends God's zealot!
Scripture it shows again and again our Savior picked out unpopular friends
God's zealot!
Scripture it shows again and again our Savior picked out unpopular friends
God's zealot!
Scripture it shows again and again our Savior picked out unpopular friends
God's zealot!

Galatians 4:18
It is fine to be zealous, provided the purpose is good, and to be so always, not just when I am with you.


The Bible Countdown
Parody of "The Final Countdown" performed by Europe and written by Joey Tempest
(Revelation 4:1-22:21, Matthew 24:3-44, John 15:18-19, 1 John 3:13, 2 Timothy 3:1-13, 1 Peter 4:4)

We're living together -- but still it's their world
They're making a comeback -- on earth, who can quarrel?
I guess they will show us disdain -- we're losing ground (losing ground)
Would they laugh if Jesus came again?

It's the Bible countdown
The Bible countdown

We're hated for Jesus (Jesus) -- and will we stand tall?
'Cause maybe they'll see us -- and they'll become like Paul, yeah
It's colder than five years ago – but they still need found (still need found)
Make sure that we don't miss a soul

As the Bible counts down
The Bible counts down
The Bible counts down (Bible counts down)
(Oh) ho-oh-oh-oh-oh
LEAD

The Bible countdown
Oh-oh
It's the Bible countdown
The Bible countdown
The Bible countdown (Bible countdown)
Oh
It's the Bible countdown
We're living forever
The Bible countdown

1 John 3:13
Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters, if the world hates you.


The Sound of Sirens
Parody of "The Sound of Silence" performed by Disturbed and written by Paul Simon
(Colossians 3:11, Ephesians 6:12, 2 Chronicles 7:14, Romans 12:17-21, 1 Peter 5:8)

Hello, dark- and light-skinned men
I've come to talk with you as friends
Because division's swiftly breeding
And it leaves our loved ones bleeding
And the crimson blood that ran red in their veins
Spills the same
When there's the sound of sirens

Arrests are made and rocks are thrown
Terror seeks out troubled souls
We need the Savior of every man
He'll turn our colors into gold in His hands
But our eyes are set on the flesh so we see our fight
In black and white
And thus the sound of sirens

And on the news tonight I saw
Just how the people hate the law
People shot dead without blinking
People speaking without thinking
People righting wrongs with force instead of prayer
And no one's spared
It stirs the sound of sirens

Fools that riot do not know
Satan's quite a clever foe
Hear the Word or he might beat you
Take up arms and he might eat you
But the verse Ephesians 6 verse 12
It echoes in the wails of sirens

And if people now will pray
And believe on God, He'll save
And you'll find that vow of this sure thing
In Second Chronicles 7:14
And besides that the words of Colossians 3:11 from St. Paul
Will settle it all
When His word ends the sound -- of sirens

Colossians 3:11
Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.


Clothing Time
Parody of "Closing Time" performed by Semisonic and written by Dan Wilson
(Genesis 3:7-244, 1 Corinthians 15:42-58, 2 Corinthians 5:1-10)

Clothing time
Opened up the garden and sent you out into the world
Clothing time
Turned down God's advice, turned over every boy and every girl
Clothing time
One man's fall will bounce us all, 'cause sin is a risky affair
Clothing time
You both have your clothes on, but you can't stay there

I know you don't want the naked truth
I know you don't want the naked truth
I know you don't want the naked truth -- naked truth

Clothing time
Time for you to go out in disgrace to the filthy slums
Clothing time
Eden won't be open till your promised Lord and Savior comes
So grab your leather jackets – you've lost future access
But hope will be found again
Clothing time
Yes, while you are sinning someone's coming to make sinning end – Yeah!

I know Who will come to take me home
I know Who will come to take me home
I know Who will come to take me home
Take me home

Clothing time
Time for us to go, First Corinthians 15 verse 51

I know Who will come to take me home
I know Who will come to take me home
I know Who will come to take me home
Take me home

Clothing time
Yes, while you are sinning someone's coming who'll make sinning end

1 Corinthians 15:54
When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."


Bob Dylan
Parody of "Godzilla" performed by Blue Φyster Cult and written by Buck Dharma

There's a person called Dylan with a scary old sound
Whom music critics like mentioning, I've found
(Everybody must get Bob's new album)
How can people with such big brains
Scream for Bob as he looks beyond them
(Don't make nice, it's alright)
They make such a fuss 'bout his poet's background
'Cause he played Greenwich Village and he's very profound
(Unlike the Rolling Stones)

Oh, no, they say he's not too old
Go, go, Bob Dylan
Oh, no, there's frogs in his throat
Go, go, Bob Dylan