Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on "Very Vicarious" (2017)?

Our 47th CD, Very Vicarious, was released in March 2017. Here's what's on it:

1. Tasty Plants - The Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
2. Can We Drive Our Sins Too Far? - 25 or 6 to 4 - Chicago
3. God's Presence (Christ in Your Life) - Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - Green Day
4. Child of God - Shining Star - Earth, Wind & Fire
5. Tried to Find Lots of Ways - Drivin' My Life Away - Eddie Rabbitt
6. Outnumbered - Down Under - Men at Work
7. Good King - Good Thing - Fine Young Cannibals
8. Speech Police - Dream Police - Cheap Trick
9. Sinning Will - Spinning Wheel - Blood, Sweat & Tears
10. Grandma Got Won Over by a Stranger - Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer - Elmo & Patsy
11. God's Child in the City - Hot Child in the City - Nick Gilder
12. Doubt Is Not Allowed - Shout It Out Loud - KISS
13. I Feel the Earth Proves - I Feel the Earth Move - Carole King

Here are the lyrics:

Tasty Plants
Parody of "The Safety Dance" performed by Men Without Hats and written by Ivan Doroschuk
(Genesis 9:2-3, Romans 14:2-3, Acts 10:9-16, 1 Timothy 4:3-5, Mark 7:19, 1 Corinthians 10:25-31, Colossians 2:16)

Yes they just eat greens why? Taste plants!

Eat some plants if you want to
You can eat yours then eat mine
'Cause your friends want plants and meat they won't chance
Well, there's -- no sense in tryin'
I said, we can grow veggie fun foods
A taste they say is just divine
And we can act like it's something out of this world
And leafy greens are hard to find
And eat some plants

Eat some plants if you want to
With your vegan friends online
'Cause your friends post anti-carnivorous rants
Well, then don't censor mine
I say, we can go where we want to
The places they will never dine
And if we like stuff that comes from cows and fish, birds
And even pigs God doesn't mind
And eat some plants (Mangez!)

We can do what we want to
Lots of yummy foods to try
And we could just eat meat but our hearts have to beat
So we might not want that big rib-eye
I say, eat some kelp if you want to
If you don't nobody will
And you can actually prove that tofu is a food
And eat the moss on your window sill
And say

Eat some plants, eat some plants
Get your greens out of a bowl
Eat some plants, eat some plants
But food isn't for your soul
Eat some plants, eat some plants
7:19 Mark will enhance
Eat some plants, eat some plants

Everybody's takin' a stance
Tasty plants
Oh, the tasty plants
Yes, the tasty plants

Yes they just eat greens why? Taste plants!

Read in Acts if you want proof
Read what 10:15 describes
And Romans 14:2-3, then we've got a doozy
First Timothy 4:3-5
I say, read some rants if you want to
You can ignore Genesis 9
Because your friends don't fancy things the Lord says
And there's no sense in tryin'

I say
Eat some plants, eat some plants
Ever think out of the bowl?
Eat some plants, eat some plants
Yeah, food isn't for your soul
Eat some plants, eat some plants
Check in First Corinthians 10
Eat some plants, eat some plants
25 and straight through the end

And will you take a glance
At what 2:16 says
In Coloss-i-ans
Oh, it's a great defense
For when we face your friends
Who love their tasty plants, yeah
Well, the tasty plants
Yes, tasty plants
It's tasty plants
It's tasty plants
It's tasty plants
It's tasty plants

Romans 14:2-3
One person's faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them.


Can We Drive Our Sins Too Far?
Parody of "25 or 6 to 4" performed by Chicago and written by Robert Lamm
(Romans 5:20-21, 7:14-8:39; Matthew 18:22; Luke 17:4; Psalm 103:10-14)

Waiting for the grace to fade
Searching for something to pay
Can this righteousness subside
If enough sins multiply?

See that cross hang on the door
Can we drive our sins too far?

Erring on the side of grace
Getting up to stretch my faith
Wanting just to stay away
From these habits I can't break
Hoo ooh hoo hoo

Should I cry to You some more?
Seventy times seven seems too short
Oh yeah!

LEAD

Feeling like I ought to read
Went in Luke instinctively
Searching for something You say
17:4 just makes my day
Hoo ooh hoo hoo

Verify Your scripture, Lord
Sanctify my sinful heart
Alright!

Luke 17:4
"Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying 'I repent,' you must forgive them."


God's Presence (The Christ in Your Life)
Parody of "Good Riddance (The Time of Your Life)" performed by Green Day and written by Billy Joe Armstrong
(2 Corinthians 6:16, 13:5; Ephesians 2:6, 2:22, 3:17; Romans 8:10; Colossians 1:27; Galatians 2:20; Revelation 3:20, 20:12-15; 1 John 2:14, 3:9; John 14:20)

Another sermon point, you're bored, ya hit the road
I'm glad the Bible gives a test of where you'll go
So the take the test is His presence in your life?
It's in the Second book of Corinthians, 13:5

It's socially unacceptable, but in the end, it's right
I hope you have the Christ in your life

So make a note of that -- you still can change your mind
Take it off the shelf read Romans 10, verse 9
Back in the heavenlies your test is on file
You're on this earth for a very short while

It's socially unacceptable, but in the end, it's right
I hope you have the Christ in your life

It's socially unacceptable, but in the end, it's right
I hope you have the Christ in your life

It's socially unacceptable, but in the end, it's right
I hope you have the Christ in your life

2 Corinthians 13:5
Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you--unless, of course, you fail the test?


Child of God
Parody of "Shining Star" performed by Earth, Wind & Fire and written by Maurice White, Larry Dunn & Philip Bailey
(Philippians 2:15; John 1:12, 11:52; Acts 17:29; Romans 8:16-21, 9:8; 1 John 3:1-10, 5:2; Ephesians 5:25-27; Revelation 19:7, 21:2-17)

Yeah, yeah hey huh
Bet you wish you were a star
You dream of fame and fancy cars, yeah
But when you're with the Nazarene
Life ain't always such a dream, oh yeah
What you'll be now's not so clear, hey
Yet to Christ you're very dear, yeah

You're a child of God don't matter who you're not
We're the bride to be of Jesus, you and me His church in unity
LEAD

Child, what's gotten into you?
Child it's not quite "what" -- it's "who"? Yeah!
It's His Spirit there along, yeah
Yeah, makes His Body quick and strong, yeah
We're goin' to mansions of the Son -- yeah
Yeah, sowin' God's Word to everyone
Yeah, God will help, His Spirit will move, yeah
Well, yes, He will, I got my proof, oh yeah, oh yeah
So edify yourself and read
I know you're facin' some adversity
Jesus Christ is greater than
Are you His? Say, yes, I am

You're a child of God don't matter who you're not
We're the bride to be of Jesus, you and me
You're a child of God don't matter who you're not
We're the bride to be of Jesus, you and me
You're a child of God don't matter who you're not
We're the bride to be of Jesus, you and me

Child of God, though you can't see what you're like and soon will be
Child of God, though you can't see what you're like and soon will be
Find First John 3:2 and read --- and Philippians 2:15

1 John 3:2
Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.


Tried to Find Lots of Ways
Parody of "Drivin' My Life Away" performed by Eddie Rabbitt and written by Eddie Rabbitt, David Malloy & Even Stevens
(Ephesians 2:1-5, Colossians 2:13, 1 Peter 4:3-4, Romans 5:8)

Well, amid my dead life
Christ came on and made me right
He paid all my debts
Told me I was saved for all time
But I gotta keep growin'
Those sins were wiped out -- zapped 'em like Nintendo
Ain't a perfect Christian but He showed me the way to go
But I gotta keep goin'

Ooh! I tried to find lots of ways
I took before I met Him, babe poor me
Ooh! I tried to find lots of ways
But, look, there's only One that saves

Well, I trust God fully, but I'm not a bully
Tried to talk some sense to your pride
But I wouldn't be snarky
'Cause Jesus does the saving
Yeah, He waited for me when I was hunky dory
Shoppin' 'round for nasty stuff to boost me up
Findin' out the hard way
Lookin' for a sure thing

Ooh! I tried to find lots of ways
I took before I met Him, babe poor me
Ooh! I tried to find lots of ways
But, look, there's only One that saves

Well, amid my dead life
God came down and made me right
He paid all my debts
(I'll) show you how He saved me sometime
But we gotta read Romans
Those sins were wiped out -- zapped 'em like Nintendo
Ain't a perfect Christian but we've all got a ways to go
And we gotta keep sowin'

Ooh! I tried to find lots of ways
I took before I met Him, babe poor me
Ooh! I tried to find lots of ways
But, look, there's only One that saves
Ooh! I tried to find lots of way-ay-ays
I took before I met Him, babe poor me
Ooh! I tried to find lots of way-ay-ays
But, look, there's only One that saves Yeah

Ooh! I tried to find lots of ways
I took before I met Him, babe poor me

Ephesians 2:4-5
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.


OutnumberedParody of "Down Under" performed by Men At Work and written by Colin Hay & Ron Strykert (Acts 21:26-24:27)Traveling in a dried-out countryOn a police detail with Caesar's armyI met a strange Judean -- he made a disturbanceAnd I took my men 'cause the natives were restlessAnd I saidDo your job 'cause the man's outnumberedWe'd better go and get up thereCan't you see that they'll tear him asunderYou better run -- you better take others.I rescued the man it was PaulHe goes, Please good sir, we truly must talkI said, Do you speak the right language?He just smiled, he came from a Benjamite familyBut he saidI come from a land far from here With Greek and Romanesque cultureCan you please let them hear me once, sir?I said, All right, and let him face the mob a while Lysius -- that is my nameAnd that Paul he had much to sayHe said Christianity I'm defendingAlthough I once was its grandest enemyBut JesusSpoke to me with a voice like thunder
And He did show me I'd blunderedCan you help, can you help but wonder
Why did I run from everything I was(Yes, people) Listenin' to him I wonderedIf really Paul was outnumbered
'Cause if he's right and Jesus is up thereHe's better off -- I'd rather take those oddsIf you want the chapter numberWhere we met Paul and went from thereIn the Book of the Acts -- it's somewhere
In 21 through 28 uh huh
(People) Listenin' to him I wondered
If really Paul was outnumbered
'Cause if he's right and Jesus is up thereHe's better off -- I'd rather take those odds
Listenin' to him I wondered
If really Paul was outnumbered

Acts 21:31-32
While they were trying to kill him, news reached the commander of the Roman troops that the whole city of Jerusalem was in an uproar. He at once took some officers and soldiers and ran down to the crowd. When the rioters saw the commander and his soldiers, they stopped beating Paul.


Good King
Parody of "Good Thing" performed by Fine Young Cannibals and written by Roland Gift & David Steele
(2 Kings 22:1-25:30; 2 Chronicles 34:1-36:23; Jeremiah 22:1-30, 36:1-32, 37:1-2, 39:1-10; Daniel 1:1-7)

The one good king Israelite
Has gone to war please don't go, Josiah
He passed away our hopes grow dim
Sons that were bad followed him
You wouldn't think (Hey hey hey)
They would stray a lot (Woo hoo hoo hoo)
Their backs were turned (Hey hey hey)
From pleasing God

Good king what have you done?
(Doo doobie doo)
My good king you had rotten sons
(Good king)
(Doo doo doobie doo)

The first king Jehoahaz
Lasted three months went bad real fast
Egypt came now who's in line?
Jehoiakim he seems unkind
That's when the guys from (Hey hey hey)
Babylon appeared (Woo hoo hoo hoo)
Took all our heroes (Hey hey hey)
Real far from here

Good king what have you done?
(Doo doobie doo)
My good king this ain't "My Three Sons"
(Good king)
(Doo doo doobie doo)
Good king
LEAD

Then one day they came back
It wasn't actually a sneak attack
Zedekiah (Hey hey hey)
He flew the coop (Woo hoo hoo hooooooo)
Caught escaping (Hey hey hey)
Blinded too

Good king my-y-y good king
(Doo doobie doo)
My my (Good king) my my good king
What have you done?
(Good king)
(Doo doo doobie doo)
My good king
Hey, hey my good king
(Doo doobie doo)
Good king, yeah
What (Good king) have you done?
(Doo doo doobie doo)
(Good king)
It went so wrong
You're gone for good
(Doo doobie doo)
(Good king)
You're gone for good
(Good king)
You're gone for good
(Doo doo doobie doo)
(Good king)
You're gone
(Doo doobie doo)
My good king
You're gone

2 Chronicles 35:25
Jeremiah composed laments for Josiah, and to this day all the male and female singers commemorate Josiah in the laments. These became a tradition in Israel and are written in the Laments.


Speech Police
Parody of "Dream Police" performed by Cheap Trick and written by Rick Nielsen
(Psalm 12:1-8, 56:5, 120:1-7; Isaiah 5:20; Matthew 5:11-12; Ephesians 4:29; Amos 5:13)

The speech police they criticize what I said
The speech police they stuck a knee in my head
The speech police they're coming to correct me oh no!

You know that talk is cheap
But in truth there's a price
And though it's called free speech
I don't think they'll provide the right the right

'Cause they're way too PC for losers like me
Every single right they'll try to re-explain
And then assign my blame

The speech police they redefine what I meant
(Redefine what I meant)
The speech police as something mean and violent
(Something mean and violent)
The speech police they're coming to correct me oh no!

Well, I'm scandalized
For my Christian beliefs
And then they call for peace
Blame their violence on me
Yeah, right denied!

'Cause they hate to believe the Book that I read
Every single line they'll try to re-explain
And vilify my name

I try to speak, they lie in wait, then moan at me and groan
It doesn't pay to take the bait and so I just leave 'em alone
In spite of me, they try to find a quote and read it wrong
They curse the truth we share and rush in fury on the Lord
Ha ha ha -- ha ha ha -- ha ha ha

Yes, Isaiah agrees just look and you'll see
In Isaiah 5 verse 5:20 is plain
So let it guide my way

The speech police they live to silence the rest
(Live to silence the rest)
The speech police they want the freedom oppressed
(Want the freedom oppressed)
The speech police they're coming to correct me
The speech police (police, police)
The speech police (police, police)
The speech police (police, police)
The speech police (police, police)
The speech police (police, police)
The speech police (police, police)

Psalm 56:5
All day long they distort my words; All their thoughts are against me for evil.


Sinning Will
Parody of "Spinning Wheel" performed by Blood, Sweat & Tears and written by David Clayton-Thomas
(Romans 6:23, 1 Timothy 1:5, Revelation 3:20, John 3:17)

One goes up, one goes down
Sinning will stunt your growth now
The doc can't help your troubles if you die in sin
Christ can save you only let the Spirit within

You got nobody and you you got no hope
Sinning will help you cope
But you're bound for trouble and it's it's death you'll earn
Christ has paid it fully if the sinner will turn

Did you try to dissect His lines
'Bout the straight and narrow byway
You'd be blind to reject His signs
Just let Him climb within your life
I'm sure you'll discover that He's real
MINI-LEAD

Someone is waiting just for you
Sinning will dim your view
God or the devil'd like to get inside
The catch is Satan's phony and the sinner feels pride
LEAD

Someone's waiting just for you
Sinning will dim your view
God or the devil'd like to get inside
Christ can make you holy let the sinner decide

1 Timothy 1:15
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst.


Grandma Got Won Over By a Stranger
Parody of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" performed by Elmo & Patsy and written by Randy Brooks
(2 Peter 3:9, 1 Timothy 2:3-4, Psalm 126:5-6, Isaiah 55:11, Mark 6:4)

Grandma got won over by a stranger
Walking from the bar on Christmas Eve
You can pray and know that Jesus answers
'Cause after we did -- Grandma, she believed

She'd been drinking to escape God
At her favorite spot to go
But we asked God for her salvation
And we stuck it out for 40 years or so
When we found her Christmas morning
After she'd received a tract
She had heard it all beforehand
But it didn't make this large of an impact

Grandma got won over by a stranger
Walking from the bar on Christmas Eve
You can pray for snow but we want Grandma
And that's what me and Grandpa, we received

Now, we're also proud of Grandpa
Here at Granny's first Noel
See, he's been there while she took long
Many years He's prayed God would send him help
Since that Christian met our Grandma
All the family's blessed, in fact
And we just can't help but wonder
Did she open up at once or give him flack (gave him flack!)

Grandma got won over by a stranger
Walking from the bar on Christmas Eve
You can pray and know that Jesus answers
'Cause after we did -- Grandma, she believed

Now the mule is in the stable
And it should've made us think ah!
If a mule's a stubborn character
They were just a matching pair when Grandma drank
Christ's no longer in the manger
Grandma's not out by herself
Hey, she let Him in her life, friends
And a man who tried to save her gave some help

Grandma got won over by a stranger
Walking from the bar on Christmas Eve
Now you can pray for snow but we want Grandma
And that's what me and Grandpa, we received

(Sing it, Grandpa)
Grandma got won over by a stranger (ha ha)
Walking from the bar on Christmas Eve (yee ha)
You can pray and know that Jesus answers (ooh oh)
'Cause after we did -- Grandma, she believed

Merry Christmas!

1 Timothy 2:3-4
This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.



God's Child in the City
Parody of "Hot Child in the City" performed by Nick Gilder and written by Nick Gilder & James McCulloch
(Micah 5:2, Isaiah 7:14, 9:1-7)

Savior in a place that some reviled
Manger with the black sheep a holy Child
No one knows who He is He's not yet famous
Micah shows where He came from so does Isaiah

God's Child in the city
God's Child in the city
On the world He looked in pity
And brought His Child to the city

Too young to be rulin' on a throne
Envoys -- they all want to make Him known
When He comes down now, the Boy's not stoppin' there
When He grows up now, you watch Christ and get prepared, yeah

God's Child in the city
God's Child in the city
What a wild-lookin' nativity (Yeah)
God's child in the city
LEAD

Come on down to find this Baby
The Child that God loves
Come on now to Christ this moment
He'll save us

God's Child in the city
God's Child in the city (He's kinda dangerous)
God's Child in the city (Young Child)
Luke 2:1 through Luke 2:20 (Young Child, comin' down)
God's Child in the city (God's Child in the City)
God's Child in the city (God's Child in the City)
God's Child in the city (God's Child in the City)
God's Child in the city (God's Child in the City)
God's Child in the city

Luke 2:11
"for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord."


Doubt Is Not Allowed
Parody of "Shout It Out Loud" performed by KISS and written by Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons & Bob Ezrin
(James 1:5-8; Matthew 14:31, 21:21; Romans 14:23; Jude 1:22; Proverbs 3:5)

Well, you might be young but you want wisdom
If you seek you're gonna find it (seek you're gonna find it)
You've got to read in James in Chapter 1
And don't be too double-minded (don't be too double-minded)
Look up in Matthew what did Jesus say
When they rescued Peter in the boat
We can't do it when we got no faith
If it's water that you walk on, bro whoa-oh-whoa-oh!

Doubt is doubt is doubt is not allowed
Doubt is doubt is doubt is not allowed

If you don't feel good -- there's no way you should
'Cause sin is where your heart is (sin is where your heart is)
Call on His name, read His favorite book
And get your Father's pardon (get your Father's pardon)
Don't let them tell you that's a human voice
When you know you hear the Son of Man
Through faith is how He saves all girls and boys
From the time of even Abraham yay-eh-yah-eh and

Doubt is doubt is doubt is not allowed
Doubt is doubt is doubt is not allowed

Doubt is doubt is doubt is not allowed
Look up in Matthew 14
Doubt is doubt is doubt is not allowed
31's the "doubt verse"
Doubt is doubt is doubt is not allowed
And 21 verse 21
Doubt is doubt is doubt is not allowed
Oh yeah
Doubt is doubt is doubt is not allowed
And we can move a mountain
Doubt is doubt is doubt is not allowed
If everybody doesn't doubt
Doubt is doubt is doubt is not allowed
Ohhhhhhh!

Matthew 14:31
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"


I Feel the Earth Proves
Parody of "I Feel the Earth Move" written and performed by Carole King
(Psalm 19:1-6, Romans 1:18-21, Job 12:7-25)

I feel the earth proves God almighty
I feel the sky tells of Him now
I feel our hearts search for evidence whenever it's all around

Oh, baby, when I see earth's face
Filled with all the stuff God made
Oh, darlin' I can't stand there
When I look at these I praise

I feel the earth proves God almighty
I feel the sky tells of Him now
I feel our hearts search for evidence whenever it's all arouuuuuuund
LEAD

Ooh, darling, when I'm kneeling
And remembering Psalm 19
I know that line in Romans
Verse 1:20 says that's plain
You need God to have creation
Uh huh huh
Uh huh huh, yeah-heh

I feel the earth proves God almighty
I feel the sky tells of Him now, uh, tells of Him now
I feel the earth proves God almighty
I feel the sky tells of Him now, uh, tells of Him now
They get the news to go-o-o
Out to the weary sou-ou-ouls
They spread it high and low-ow-ow
All over, all over, all over, all over

I feel the earth proves God almighty
I feel the sky tells of Him now, uh, tells of Him now
I feel the earth proves God almighty
I feel the sky tells of Him now, uh, tells of Him now
Uh, tells of Him now, uh, tells of Him now
Uh, tells of Him now tells of Him now-ow-ow-ow

Psalm 19:1
The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.