Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on Sandwich Platter (2019)?

Our 55th CD, Sandwich Platter, was released in July 2019:

Here's what's on it:

Here are the lyrics to the 55th ApologetiX CD, Sandwich Platter, released in July 2019:

Broke a Loaf of Bread
Parody of "Locomotive Breath" performed by Jethro Tull and written by Ian Anderson
(Matthew 26:14-75; Mark 14:10-72; Luke 22:1-62; John 13:1-30, 18:1-27, 20:24-29; 1 Corinthians 1:27-29; 2 Corinthians 12:9; Acts 8:1-3, 9:1-30; 1 Timothy 1:15-16)

In the suffering sadness
Our Lord broke a loaf of bread
Running off was Judas
Headlong to his death
Oh, had Jesus been mistaken?
Betrayed by one of His crowd
Oh, it surely stoked a scandal
That could stain the whole Gospel
But those He chose wrote it down
Oh oh-oh

He sees His 12 men jumping off
Forsaken, one by one
The one who'd been His best friend
Had said he'd never run
Oh, this promise now seems hollow, though
All His friends stampede
Oh, it surely stoked a scandal
That could stain the whole Gospel
But those He chose wrote it down
Eh-heh
Heyyy Hey-ey!

Ow!
LEAD

We hear of Thomas doubting
Have to say, well, that takes gall
And the all-time sinner
Is now Apostle Paul
Oh, how'd this stuff get in the Bible?
First Corinthians 1
I think God He chose the scandals
Just to shame the world's top know-it-alls
Who put folks down
So they couldn't boast now
No way to boast now
No way to boast now

1 Corinthians 1:27-29
but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God


Mephibosheth
Parody of "The B**** is Back" performed by Elton John and written by Elton John & Bernie Taupin (2 Samuel 4:4, 9:1-13, 16:1-4, 19:24-30)

I was just fine till I was five
Raised with kings till Grandpa Saul died
Times can change whenever war gets bad
And the Philistines dispatched him when they deep-sixed Dad
Oh whoa ohh

Meet me in the Bible -- after Saul died
I live in Second Samuel chapter 9
I'm Mephibosheth if you don't know who
I'm the child of King David's best friend Jonathan too
Ooh woo ooh

I'm Mephib- I'm Mephib- I'm Mephibosheth
Someone told my nanny daddy was dead
Then she picked up me tripped up and then I went boom
Now I'm lame from my youth
Nothing I can do -- oh oh oh

I said I was lame -- that didn't change
Tell the girl who dropped me thanks
I don't mind, though, by God I'm blessed
Oh, it's cool because King David helped Mephibosheth
Oh whoa ooh

I'm Mephib- I'm Mephib- I'm Mephibosheth
Someone told my nanny daddy was dead
Then she picked up me tripped up and then I went boom
Now I'm lame from my youth
Nothing I can do -- oh oh oh

LEAD

I'm Mephib- I'm Mephib- I'm Mephibosheth
Someone told my nanny daddy was dead
Then she picked up me tripped up and then I went boom
Now I'm lame from my youth
Nothing I can do -- oh oh oh

Phib! Phib! Mephibosheth!
Phib! Phib! Mephibosheth!
Phib! Phib! Mephibosheth!
Phib! Phib! Mephibosheth!
Phib! Phib! Mephibosheth!
Phib! Phib! Mephibosheth!
Phib! Phib! Mephibosheth!
Phib! Phib! Mephibosheth!
Phib! Phib! Mephibosheth!

2 Samuel 4:4
And Jonathan, Saul's son, had a son that was lame of his feet. He was five years old when the tidings came of Saul and Jonathan out of Jezreel, and his nurse took him up, and fled: and it came to pass, as she made haste to flee, that he fell, and became lame. And his name was Mephibosheth.


Jewish Farm
Parody of "Junior's Farm" performed by Wings and written by Paul & Linda McCartney
(Matthew 13:1-23, Mark 4:1-20, Luke 8:4-15)

Ohhh no
You should have seen the way He spoke to men
He had some funny things He said to them
Just take a look inside that book that He sent
Christ was talkin' to them at the boat
Said He was hopin' for a crop to grow
The Gospel's the seed Christ said He would sow

Let's grow, let's grow, let's grow, let's grow
Now the Jewish farmers around here, they know
Grow right -- high like good plants grow
Faith is like a Jewish farm
Take it now, Tommy
MINI LEAD

Oooahhh yeah
As for how the stuff with farming went
Check in Matthew, Mark, and Luke's New Testament
They all give info about this event
All the hardy seeds He had dispensed
A few got eaten up by birds and thence
Thorns and the blazing sun would cripple some plants

Let's grow, let's grow, let's grow, let's grow
Now the Jewish farmers around here, they know
Grow right -- high like good plants grow
Faith is like a Jewish farm
Let's grow, let's grow
Now the Jewish farmers around here, they know
Grow right -- high like good plants grow
Faith is like a Jewish farm
Everybody sing along

Hah!
Ha-hah!

He took the bag of seed and sowed some more
They're risin' higher than the kind before
Those plants last and thrive in the Lord
They say, You should have seen the way He spoke to men
He had some funny things He said to them
Let's take a look inside that book that He sent

Uh let's grow, let's grow, let's grow, let's grow
Now the Jewish farmers around here, they know
(Matthew, Luke, and Mark)
Grow right -- high like good plants grow
Faith is like a Jewish farm
(13, 8, and 4)
Let's grow, let's grow
Now the Jewish farmers around here, they know
Grow right -- high like good plants grow
Faith is like a Jewish farm
(Like a Jewish farm)
Everybody sing along
(Time to sing along)
Faith is like a Jewish farm
Check it out

Oww!
(Ahhh Ahhh)
(Ahhh Ahhh)
(Ahhh Ahhh Ahhhh)
Make me have
(Ahhh Ahhh)
Faith that lasts
(Ahhh Ahhh)
I wanna grow that
(Ahhh Ahhh Ahhhh)
Yeah, yeah-eh-eh yeah, yeah-eh-yeah-eh
Huh!

Matthew 13:3
Then he told them many things in parables, saying: "A farmer went out to sow his seed.


Eve Looks Back
Parody of "Landslide" performed by Fleetwood Mac and written by Stevie Nicks
(Genesis 3:1-4:25)

I took one look, took it down
Bite an apple and it turns to brown
And I saw my deception and there's no cover here
And at last pride brought me down

Oh, we weren't meant to die but it's rough
Can the child within me now rise above?
Can I say things to change him so he'll thrive?
Can I handle when I see him fuss and cry-y-y-y--y-y-y-y-y?
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm

Well, I've been pregnant lately
And I'm thrilled my child's about due
But time takes its toll there
We've had children get older
And I'm missin' Abel, too
LEAD

Well, I've been pregnant lately
And I'm thrilled my child's about due
But time takes its toll there
We've had children get older
And I'm missin' both them, too
Oh, I'm missin' both them two

Ah ah -- may my son make You proud
I-I'll try to help with man's turnaround
And if we'll still find redemption
Then there's hope comin' here
With the man-child You'll bring me now
And if we'll still find redemption
Then there's hope comin' here
With the man-child You'll bring me now
Oh oh-oh -- the man-child You'll bring me now

Genesis 4:25
Adam had relations with his wife again; and she gave birth to a son, and named him Seth, for, she said, "God has appointed me another offspring in place of Abel, for Cain killed him."


Isaiah 55
Parody of "I Can't Drive 55" performed and written by Sammy Hagar
(Isaiah 55:1-13, Hebrews 4:12, Job 38:31-33)

God puts on the brakes I wanna go fast, hey!
Well, there's too much happening I can't last, no!
So I tried my best but He won't move
But in black and white God's Word cuts right through again

You know, the right way's tough for one man to find
So God's ways are always better than mine
Take my advice, listen, all that jibes
With Isaiah 55!
Uh huh!
Uh!

Go and find Isaiah chapter 54 Hey
And then just keep going just one more, huh
God's Word it won't come back empty it ain't void
Lookee here in Isaiah — You'll get my point I said, yeahhh

Ohhh yeah
The right way's tough for one man to find
So God's ways are always better than mine
Take my advice, listen, all that jibes
With Isaiah 55! Oh, yeah!

Isaiah 55
Isaiah 55
Isaiah 55
Isaiah 55
Uh!

Well, God's high, man's low I know that's hard to hear
But His hands set the stars out and kept them steered
To do that takes true power -- God took one day
Huh, I think His biggest challenge is gettin' us to obey

You know, the right way's tough for one man to find
So God's ways are always better than mine
Take my advice, listen, all that jibes
With Isaiah 55!
No, no, no I can't lie
Isaiah 55
I said try
Isaiah 55
Isaiah 55

Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."


Bold As Christ
Parody of "Cold As Ice" performed by Foreigner and written by Lou Gramm & Mick Jones
(Proverbs 28:1; Revelation 12:11; Philippians 2:5-8, Luke 9:26, Mark 8:38)

Be as bold as Christ be willing to sacrifice your life
Whoever takes your life may someday be saved by Christ, I know
I've seen it before way back in olden times
The Romans would throw us to the roaring lions
When Christians are bold in showing their faith
The world can see Jesus and some may get saved

Be as bold as Christ be willing to sacrifice your life
You've got Paradise 'cause somebody paid the price, I know
With Jesus the form He had was God divine
He chose to be born and leave it all behind
He did it for souls He wanted to save
How fortunate we are that Christ was so brave
LEAD

(Bold as Christ) as bold as a lion
(Bold) (Bold) (as) (as) (Christ) He told me I should be
(Bold) (Bold) (Bold) (as) (as) (as) (Christ)

(Oooh oooh oooh)
(Bold as, bold as Christ bold as, bold as Christ)
(Bold as, bold as Christ bold as, bold as Christ)
(I love Christ)
Be as bold as Christ bold as Christ our Lord
(Paradise) (Bold as, bold as Christ bold as, bold as Christ)
Yes, our Lord
(I love Christ)
Be as bold as Christ, bold as Christ, our Lord
(Paradise) (Be as bold as Christ be as bold as Christ)
Oh, yes, our Lord
(I love Christ) (Bold as, bold as Christ bold as, bold as Christ)
Be as bold as Christ bold as Christ our Lord
(Paradise) (Be as bold as Christ be as bold as Christ)
Oh, yes, our Lord
Be as bold as Christ be as bold as Christ

Proverbs 28:1
The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.


Back in the Battle
Parody of "Back in the Saddle" performed by Aerosmith and written by Steven Tyler & Joe Perry
(Ephesians 6:10-18, 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, Revelation 12:11)

I'm back -- I'm back in the battle again
I'm back -- I'm back in the battle again

I'm drivin' into town from home -- I'm tryin' to lighten the mood
I'm lookin' for my future job someplace that's more subdued
Boss keeps givin' me grief I think this car might die
It's turning into a week to make a grown man cry

I'm back in the battle again I'm back
I'm back in the battle again I'm back

Mmm, come and see Eph-e-si-ans 6:12 memorize it, son
I'm calling on my God to fight this fight -- alone I'd be done
Even though I'm bruised and scratched I'll battle more
Quoting scriptures Second Corinthians 10:3,4
There's no doubt in my mind that God's Word's so correct
No sense tryin' to hide I'm gonna fight them back

I'm back in the battle again I'm back
I'm back in the battle again

I'm fightin' I'm quotin' from epistles
I'm fightin' inflammatory missiles
I'm fightin' they're linin' up for battle
I'm fightin' my cage they're tryin' to rattle

I'm back in the battle again I'm back
I'm back in the battle again I'm back

I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide
I'm ready
Right now

Ephesians 6:12
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.


Full of Yourself (Distinguished Young Man)
Parody of "Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man)" performed by Styx and written by Tommy Shaw
(Matthew 12:43-45, 19:16-30; Mark 10:17-30; Luke 18:18-30; 2 Corinthians 13:5; Revelation 3:20; Ephesians 3:17; Romans 7:18; John 14:20; Galatians 2:20; Colossians 1:27)

(Spoken) Repent! Make it easy!

You see the world through your physical eyes
You're in trouble yet man's eyes can't tell
The God of all isn't part of your plans
But your plans met success and you can't see the rest

And you're full of yourself if you don't have Jesus
You're filling yourself with your own diseases

Christ must have grieved the distinguished young man
Who refused Him when Christ tried to lead
The proud can't perceive 'cause their sin is too grand
That the Christ was a lamb sent to bear sin for Man

And you're full of yourself (full of yourself) if you don't have Jesus
You're killing yourself (killing yourself) with your own diseases

Give up! (Give up!) yes, that's what you need
Your whole world's incomplete and you know it
Yeahhh c'mon! (C'mon!) and see what He's got
Just make Him a spot and He'll show it
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!

(Spoken) Colossians 1:27

LEAD

Annnnd you're full of yourself (full of yourself) if you don't have Jesus
You're killing yourself (killing yourself) with your own diseases

Give up! (Give up!) He has what you need
Everyone's incomplete and you know it
Ohhh c'mon! (C'mon!) yes, He's the true God
Just make Him a spot and He'll show it
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!

Mark 10:21
Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."



(Check Out) The Book
Parody of "The Look" by performed by Roxette and written by Per Gessle
(2 Timothy 3:15-16, 2 Peter 3:15-16, Romans 10:13, Acts 2:21)

1-2-3-4

God provides a plan givin' life forever
He rejuvenates man many won't consider
They just like to blame God -- check out the Book

Skeptics they abound just haven't got enough of
Those who did read it around can't get past the cover
Hey, brother, here's a wild thought: check out the Book

Check out the Book (Check out the Book)
Check out the Book (Check out the Book)
How can the world complain the Bible's words aren't true?
Their heavy thinkers never do have proof for you
But I go, la la la la ... Check out the Book!

Bible, it supplies naked truth to people
If you love to get wise baby, don't be headstrong
Check it like a math book check out the Book

Read it to the end you get life in Heaven
If you hear His command and love Him with devotion
This is just a wasteland -- check out the Book!

Check out the Book (Check out the Book)
Check out the Book (Check out the Book)
How can the world complain the Bible's words aren't true?
Their heavy thinkers never do have proof for you
But I go, la la la la ... Check out the Book!

Oww!!!
LEAD

Would you like a plan -- givin' life forever?
It's the truth and not a scam -- and everyone's a winner
They just have to namedrop -- check out the Book
And we go

Na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na
Check out the Book!

Check out the Book (Check out the Book)
Check out the Book (Check out the Book)
How can the world complain the Bible's words aren't true?
Their heavy thinkers never do have proof for you
But I go, la la la la ... Check out the Book!

How can the world complain it's not true?
Their heaviest thinkers never do have proof for you
But I go, la la la la ...

Na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na
Check out the Book!
And we go
Na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na
Check out the Book!
Check out the book, amigos!
Na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na
Check out the Book!
Check out the book, amigos!
Na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na
Check out the Book!!!
Check out the Book!!!

2 Timothy 3:15
and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.


Go Home with the Prodigal Son
Parody of "Take the Money and Run" performed by The Steve Miller Band and written by Steve Miller
(Luke 15:11-32)

Hoot! Hoo!

This is a story that Jesus told way back in Luke
Two young brothers with much inheritance due
But in their father's house they had to follow rules
And so one asked him if he'd divide it all up in two

He headed out to do the world and travel
That's where his plans they soon all came unraveled
He didn't know shallow friends would gobble his cash flow
Wild pursuits took the money he'd brung

Hoot hoot hoo!
But no one would take the prodigal son
No one would take the prodigal son
Hoot hoot hoo!
No one would take the prodigal son
No one would take the prodigal son
Hoot hoot hoo!

Well, he maxed out all his credit, and he's cashless
And now he don't sip on daiquiris 'cause the fact is
He ain't gonna get no food today for breakfast
He makes his livin' now feeding pigs in trash pits

While it's true, whoa-oh-oh-oh whoa, we disobey
Still we know, God offers His family extra-grace
He lost his money, hey, but yo, he caught a break
He went to Dad's house and Dad came running to save
Singin'

Come home with me, prodigal son
Come home with me, prodigal son
Hoot hoot hoo!
Come home with me, prodigal son
Halleljuah!
Come home with me, prodigal son
Hoo hoo hoo!

LEAD

Yeah heh-eh-eh-eh
Go home with the prodigal son
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Hoo hoo hoo!
Go home with the prodigal son
Hallelujah!
Go home with the prodigal son
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Hoo hoo hoo!
Go home with the prodigal son

Luke 15:16
And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him.


Stay Deceased
Parody of "Stay with Me" performed by Faces and written by Rod Stewart & Ronnie Wood
(Ecclesiastes 9:2-10, 12:13-14; Philippians 1:21-26; 1 Corinthians 15:19-26; 2 Corinthians 5:6-9; Luke 16:19-31, 23:39-43; Revelation 6:9-11)

Wooo!

Get in here!

If you're quotin' Ecclesiastes
Chapter 9:5, 6, and 10 at the door
I know you claim to read it
But discernment still is needed
Since when is Solomon our only source?
Get smart! Woo!

I don't believe in what you're stating
That those beneath the ground are waiting
And in the place they're at you do nothing but lie about
I've read Philippians, yeah, and we can tell
It's clear he don't mean that for just himself
Let's go right there and read 1:21
C'mon, honey

Stay deceased stay deceased
Those who die don't ever stay deceased
Oh, yeah!
Stay deceased stay deceased
Those who die don't ever stay deceased
Ahh, one more

Ohh Hoo!

Go check the story
Jesus gave 'bout Lazarus
And the wealthy man in Luke 16 now once more
Second C'rinthians 5:8 shows
When I leave this world then I'll just go home
And Luke 23 in verse 43 ties things up
C'mon honey!

Stay deceased stay deceased
No, you're not just gonna stay deceased
Sit down! Cheer up! Chill out!
Stay deceased stay deceased
No, you're not just gonna stay deceased

Hey, what's your name again?

Oh-oh no-oh!

Chill out!

Whoa!

Chill out!
Oh-oh no-oh!

Whoa!

Give yourself hope!

No doubt, babe

Wooo! Woo-hoo!
Pray with me!
Woo!

2 Corinthians 5:8
we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.


A Day in the Loaf (2019)
Parody of "A Day in the Life" performed by The Beatles and written by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
(Matthew 14:13-21, 15:29-38; Mark 6:34-44, 8:1-9; Luke 9:10-17; John 6:5-15)

I fed the Jews today, oh boy
I had a luncheon planned to take to the lake
5000 Jews around me sat
Well, I just had to laugh
They all forgot to pack

I knew that my lunch didn't count
These fish and loaves would not much life sustain
A crowd of people couldn't share
They needed faith for sure
The only way to feed 'em all
Was if it was the hand of the Lord

Christ got them filled today, oh boy
The thing we saw He had not done before
For how this deed was done today
We might just have to look
After there's a book
In Matthew, Mark, Luke, John

Hold up! We're out of bread!
Send 'em home the crowd needs fed
"Find a way," He said, "You can't give up
"Go look around for food beside the lake."
(Heh heh heh heh heh)
Found a kid who had some bread
Told the boss. He said, "No sweat."
Had a word of prayer and bread was broke
Had so many loaves there I thought it was a dream

Ahhhh Ah Ah Ahh
Ah Ah Ahhh Ah Ah Ah-Ah
Ah Ah Ah
Ahhhh Ah Ah Ah
Ah Ah Ahhhh Ah Ah Ah-Ah-Ah

Christ fed the Greeks today, oh goy
4000 folks just had their banquet here
And though the loaves were rather small
He had no doubts at all
And how they had so many loaves that they were filled
Well, I don't know
I'd love to tell you all

Luke 9:13
He replied, "You give them something to eat." They answered, "We have only five loaves of bread and two fish unless we go and buy food for all this crowd."