Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on Prehysterical (2019)?

Our 57th CD, Prehysterical, is due out in December 2019.

Here's the complete track listing:

1. Back Talk Black Dog Led Zeppelin
2. Bethany Jeopardy The Greg Kihn Band
3. Xerxes' Song Mississippi Queen - Mountain
4. Go Witness Roll with It Steve Winwood
5. This Team's Extreme Christine Sixteen - KISS
6. A Foolhardy Song Authority Song - John Cougar Mellencamp
7. You're All Like Troglodytes You're All I've Got Tonight The Cars
8. Trilobite Love Bye Bye Love The Cars
9. You Can Be Free Now Who Can It Be Now Men at Work
10. Zekie's Start-Up Ziggy Stardust David Bowie
11. Let Me Sit Next to Messiah Fire Jimi Hendrix
12. Some Signs and Wonders Follow Some Kind of Wonderful Grand Funk

Here are the lyrics:

Back Talk
Parody of Black Dog performed by Led Zeppelin and written by John Paul Jones, Jimmy Page & Robert Plant
(Deuteronomy 13:1-18, 18:20-22, 28:58-63, 31:24-29; Numbers 16:1-50; Acts 20:28-31; 2 Timothy 3:13-17; Proverbs 30:5-6; Revelation 22:18-19; Matthew 5:18; 1 Peter 1:24-25; Galatians 1:7-9; Romans 9:20)

Hey, hey, Moses said that wayward dudes
Posed a major threat for the ancient Jews

Ah, watch out, when they change out things
From His sacred Word, something they do stinks

Hey, hey, baby, when they talk that way
Watch your money clip and keep away

Oh yeah, oh yeah-eh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh yeah, oh yeah-eh, oh, oh, oh, oh
God's law is old it stands still
But the faint of heart can't accept God's will

I'm surprised they turned and fled
Please review how you are led

Ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ahhhh

Hey, baby, whoa, baby, listen, baby
Modern days are provin' how
Hey, baby, oh, baby, listen, baby
Moses wasn't foolin' now

Listen to this song -- it might sound loud
But the people I mean will try and drown it out

Sin's not funny sticks like tar
Start to dwell in it then It's gonna leave a scar

I don't know, but I've been told
A big bad wolf, it can gobble your soul

Oh yeah, oh yeah-eh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh yeah, oh yeah-eh, oh, oh, oh, oh
All I ask for -- all I pray
Instead of lovin' the world I wanna love God's Way

Need a compass to hold in my hand
Cause celluloid lies gave me a savage land

Ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ahhh

Ahhhhh ahhh yeah yeah

Romans 9:20
But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?'"


Bethany
Parody of "Jeopardy" performed by The Greg Kihn Band and written by Greg Kihn & Steve Wright
(John 11:1-46, 12:1-11)

Whoa oh oh oh

Well, we knew Your friend needed You
But You could not be found
It's sad but true -- though I believe in You
Our brother's in the ground

Well, You can take six vats of water
And change it into wedding wine
But since You liked him, I've got to wonder
Just where'd You go when this one was dyin'?

Our Lord's in Bethany, baby
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Our Lord's in Bethany, baby
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Don't confuse this with grumbling now:
You're later than You think
So what's the use? This ain't "The Mummy" now
His grave is gonna stink

Roll that stone? Are You crazy, Lord?
'Cause Lazarus He's been gone so long
It's so hard to wait on You, Lord
I hope You're not dead wrong, yeah, yeah

Our Lord's in Bethany, baby
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Our Lord's in Bethany, baby
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

LEAD

Roll that stone, all you hangers on!
'Cause I'll admit maybe I was wrong
So long, funeral parlor owner
I know a God that's strong, yeah, yeah

Our Lord's in Bethany, baby
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Our Lord's in Bethany, baby
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Our Lord's in Bethany (Bethany), baby
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Our Lord's in Bethany (Bethany), baby
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Our Lord's in Bethany baby

John 11:38b
"But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."


Xerxes' Song
Parody of "Mississippi Queen" performed by Mountain and written by Leslie West, Corky Laing, Felix Pappalardi & David Rea
(Esther 1:1-2:18)

I miss my spiffy queen do you know who I mean?
This specific queen rebuffed me as her king
We signed a law evictin' her 'cause that's the Media-Persia way
I need to date some ladies my former missus can't be queen
You know she wouldn't answer -- she ruined a banquet of mine
If all the rest of them dudes' wives had ever heard this
Boy, I bet they'd start to act less feminine

Yes, I seek a queen 'cause the old one defied me
This insipid queen it cost her everything
This lady, Queen Vashti -- would not receive commands
You know that I told her "Now you can pound sand"
The queen was lookin' pretty but I can't let that slide
Now I'm just a sad dude with a million girlfriends
I'm a big important guy with wounded pride

You know, they brought me Esther
She proved better, oh my
Than the rest of them blue-blooded, fancy-haired chicks
All of Media-Persia now must get in line
Heyyyy, yes, I've picked a queen

Esther 2:1-2
Later when King Xerxes' fury had subsided, he remembered Vashti and what she had done and what he had decreed about her. Then the king's personal attendants proposed, "Let a search be made for beautiful young virgins for the king.


Go Witness
Parody of "Roll with It" performed by Steve Winwood and written by Steve Winwood, Will Jennings, Brian Holland, Lamont Dozier & Eddie Holland
(Acts 1:8, 4:18-20; Matthew 28:19-20; Revelation 1:5, 2:13)

We're hiding too much go witness, baby
Those hearts that you should touch all are waiting
Heard Christ knocking on your door
He's tellin' you: Go get some more
He'll work through us go witness baby
Make some comments in a simple way
You gotta move read in Acts 1:8

You just go witness, baby
Come on, there's just no ifs or maybes
You and me -- go witness, baby
Hey now, we've got no business waiting
Hey!

Been rainy too long it could get sunny
God's Word -- to starvin' ones is sweet as honey
People think they can drown you out
You show them love and holler loud
You can make it go witness, baby
When this world turns it back on you
Hang in and do what Jesus would do

You just go witness, baby
Yeah heh, there's just no ifs or maybes
Come on we've got no business waiting
You and me just go witness, baby

LEAD Oooooooh!

Go witness, baby
Yeah heh, there's no just no ifs or maybes
You and me just go witness, baby
Flame on we've got no business waiting, hey!

Now there'll be some days you'll get frustrated
They'll hear from you and say, "Dude, that's crazy!"
Still when bad times plague their lives
That's when a good time for God arrives
You can do it go witness, baby
Let them see life with Jesus Christ
Will resurrect us in Paradise

You just go witness, baby
Yeah, heh, there's just no ifs or maybes
You and me just go witness, baby
Flame on we've got no business waiting
Hey, hey, c'mon!

Go witness, baby
We're not crazy
Go on -- go witness baby
Go-o-o-o
Hey! (Hey!) C'mon and go
Come go witness, baby
Come and go

Hey now, let's go
Hey, you're up!

(Hey, hey!)

Acts 1:8
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."


This Team's Extreme
Parody of "Christine Sixteen" performed by KISS and written by Gene Simmons
(2 Samuel 21:15-22, 23:8-39; 1 Chronicles 11:10-47, 20:4-8)

This job is risky they see it through to the end
There's monsters in the land and they're the troops who defend it
This team's extreme, this team's extreme

These guys with David - are on a ninja all-star squad
And he's got 30 brave, young knights -- that he chose out of thousands
This team's extreme, this team's extreme

I don't usually compare teams like this to Green Berets
But when I saw them in Sunday Bible school that day
That day I knew — I knew
I'm gonna have to they've got that attitude

It's written down so please come and see
Find Second Samuel can't skip First Chronicles
Whoa-oh no!
This team's extreme, this team's extreme

This team's (This team's) extreme (extreme)
This team, yeah-eh, yeah-eh
This team's (This team's) extreme (extreme)
This team, yeah-eh, yeah-eh, yeah-eh
This team's (This team's) extreme (extreme)
This team, yeah-eh, yeah-eh, yeah-eh
This team's (This team's) extreme (extreme)
This team, yeah-eh, yeah-eh, yeah-eh
This team's (This team's) extreme (extreme)
This team, yeah-eh, yeah-eh, oh yeah!
This team's (This team's) extreme (extreme)
This team, yeah-eh, yeah-eh, yeah-eh
This team's (This team's) extreme (extreme)
This team, yeah-eh, ahhhhhh!
This team's (This team's) extreme (extreme)
This team, yeah-eh, yeah-eh ahhhhhh!
This team's (This team's) extreme (extreme)

1 Chronicles 11:10
Now these are the heads of the mighty men whom David had, who gave him strong support in his kingdom, together with all Israel, to make him king, according to the word of the Lord concerning Israel.


A Foolhardy Song
Parody of "Authority Song" performed and written by John Cougar Mellencamp
(Proverbs 1:7, 14:29, 15:2, 17:28, 18:6, 19:11, 26:4-5, 29:9-11; James 1:19)

They like to get you mad and cause some guys a conniption
Well, they might giggle, too, and laugh right in your face
Yeah, they think it's so cute when they've got to act unchristian
But I think we should show them His grace
And I say

Why fight a fool by being foolish? He always wins
When I fight a fool by being foolish, he always wins
He'll laugh at you or insist he wasn't wrong and then you'll come out regrettin' it
Well, I finally sought out the authority on these things
Oh, yeah!

Solomon the preacher, he said if we think we'll not fight
He said, foolish speech won't lengthen if you shut up, son
He said, though the stuff that you told them could prevent them dyin'
Ooh, they're dyin' to make it sound like all that was dumb
And so I say

Why fight a fool by being foolish? He always wins
When I fight a fool by being foolish, he always wins
He'll laugh at you or insist he wasn't wrong and you'll come out regrettin' it
29:9 in Proverbs read it thoroughly now with friends
LEAD

I say, Oh no no no
I say, Oh no no no
I say, Oh no no no no

Why fight a fool by being foolish? He always wins
Why fight a fool by being foolish? He always wins
Take a hint!
He'll laugh at you or insist he wasn't wrong and then you'll come out regrettin' it
Can't outfight a fool at being foolish -- he always wins

Can't outfight a fool at being foolish -- he always wins
When I fight a fool by being foolish, he always wins
He'll laugh at you or insist he wasn't wrong and then you'll come out regrettin' it
Can't outfight a fool at being foolish -- he always wins

So I say
Why fight a fool by being foolish? He always wins
When I fight a fool by being foolish, he always wins
He'll laugh at you or insist he wasn't wrong and you'll come out regrettin' it
Can't outfight a fool at being foolish -- he always wins

Proverbs 29:9
When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, the foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest.


You're All Like Troglodytes
Parody of "You're All I've Got Tonight" performed by The Cars and written by Ric Ocasek
(John 1:9-13, 3:19-21, 8:12; Romans 1:18-25; Psalms 14:1-2, 53:1-2; Genesis 19:30)

I don't care if you've heard this before
I don't care if you even just swore
Well, you can mock me, and I don't care
Well, you can block me I don't care
Subhumans like these ain't found anywhere
Is all I said beneath you?

'Cause you're all like troglodytes
You're all like troglodytes
You're all like troglodytes
I lead you to light
I lead you to light

I don't care 'bout your museum friends
I know sharing truth, it usually offends
You can ape the idols there
And you can scrape these dry bones bare
The proof you're lacking ain't found anywhere
It's all because you need truth

'Cause
Well, you're all like troglodytes
You're all like troglodytes
You're all like troglodytes
I lead you to light
I lead you to light
LEAD

That old worn-out theory sort of fell through-ooh
You don't have to make believe it's true-hoo
You can punk me I don't care
And you can flunk me I don't care
You can't debunk me if you're playing fair
It's all a make-believe truth

Well, you're all like troglodytes
You're all like troglodytes
You're all like troglodytes
I lead you to light
I said, I lead you to light

'Cause
Well, you're all like troglodytes
You're all like troglodytes
You're all like troglodytes
I lead you to light
I lead you to light
I I lead you to light

John 3:19
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.


Trilobite Love
Parody of "Bye Bye Love" performed by The Cars and written by Ric Ocasek
(Genesis 1:20-28, Romans 1:18-25)

I can't really say the stronger of species do survive
When all that's hidden in your endnotes just ate your "truth" alive
But you've swept away what you didn't like 'cause it's tricky to explain
You legislate your rocks as older to tie in with what you're sayin'

It's a farce in disguise
Though they would say otherwise
It's just a bunch of trilobites
Trilobite love, trilobite love
Trilobite love, trilobite love

Substitute your last conclusion out to hide your hand
Evolving always met your needs until the coelacanth
But your pride's important and it grew -- with shoddy evidence
You take and show this stuff to us you fail at self-defense

It's the Lord they despise
Always gives them butterflies
And peppered moths as alibis
Trilobite love, trilobite love
Trilobite love, trilobite love

Self-delusion adds confusion, clouds and blinds your head
Well, you flog that horse relentlessly --- until it feels so dead
And when your lies are portrayed as the truth -- they shock the innocent
You think as though you must free us with all you helped invent

It's an origin of lies
Darwin and some other guys
It's just a bluff to nullify
The Bible I love, Bible I love
The Bible I love, Bible I love

Genesis 1:21
God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarmed after their kind, and every winged bird after its kind; and God saw that it was good.


You Can Be Free Now
Parody of "Who Can it Be Now?" performed by Men at Work and written by Colin Hay
(Acts 5:17-42, 12:1-24, 16:19-40; John 8:31-37; Romans 6:6-22, 8:1-3, 8:20-22; Galatians 5:1)

Lookin' at Peter in Acts 12:4
Knowin' James was run through with a sword
Can't you see him? It's late at night
He's very tired and numb from feelin' fright
Hauled to prison he's beyond hope
His fate awaits but soon an angel comes
Next stop is to break outside
No problem -- now go and run and hide

You can be free now You can be free now
You can be free now You can be free now

Lookin' at Peter in Acts 5, Lord
Ain't no doubt been through this once before
With his peers he's locked away
Now they're trapped in here they'll have to stay
They've done no wrong and into that cell
There was a strong and mighty angel sent to help
I'd like to hear what the doubters said
Holy cow those freaks are loose again!

You can be free now You can be free now
You can be free now You can be free now

And if the men come to take me away
Like dudes that followed Thee
It's not a future that I'd fancy
But despite that I'm free
Ee-yeah-eh!

Hoo, hoo, hoo
You can be free now You can be free now
You can be free now You can be free now
Ohhhhhh oh oh
You can be free now!
Ohhhhhh we-ee-ee know
Don't panic, don't panic
Ohhhhhh oh oh
You can be free now
Ohhhhhh we-ee-ee know
Yeah, yeah, you

Acts 5:19-20
But during the night an angel of the Lord opened the gates of the prison, and taking them out he said, "Go, stand and speak to the people in the temple the whole message of this Life."


Zekey's Start-Up
Parody of "Ziggy Stardust" performed and written by David Bowie
(Ezekiel 1:1-3:27, 10:1-22)

Oh!
Ooooooh yeah-eh-eh
Ahh!

Ezekiel's plain bizarre
Jammed with good things weird and thrilling
And inspired by God
Did aliens land? Don't take it too far
But he's a special man
And we're his biggest fans

Zekie's wheels were strange
Full of eyes, they flew on air, too
Like some craft from a different planet
They could lift and fly sideways
They could leave or just hang
They came down so low to land
Seldom scoped by man

Some cherubim glided
From a bright cloud, beneath a throne
The wheels appeared right beside them
So Zeke's visions now began
We've shown as much as we can
Oh

Mmmmm hmm

Zekie gave us signs
By the odd stuff he would soon do
And his words would last
He wasn't asked when God gave him tasks
He took a role that's hard
But, boy, could he play the part

Take a look at Ezekiel
Zekie saw stuff that blew his mind Ah!
I could never describe it
That's why Ezekiel's the man
And I just sing with a band

Ohhhh yeah-eh-eh
Ooh ooh
Zekie, stay bizarre!

Ezekiel 1:1
Now it came about in the thirtieth year, on the fifth day of the fourth month, while I was by the river Chebar among the exiles, the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God.


Let Me Sit Next to Messiah
Parody of "Fire" performed by The Jimi Hendrix Experience and written by Jimi Hendrix
(Matthew 20:20-28; Mark 3:17, 10:35-45; Luke 9:51-55)

All right!
Now, dig this, baby

You know, James and me we don't care if we're brash
We gotta keep cool hah! Or lightning might flash
I have only one fervent desire
Let me sit next to Messiah
(Let me sit next to Messiah) Hey, let me sit next to Messiah
(Let me sit next to Messiah) Whoa, let me sit, baby
(Let me sit next to Messiah) Let me sit
(Let me sit next to Messiah) Yeah, baby

Listen here, Jamesy
Let's go and ask the old lady

You see, our mama told Him James' and my concerns
Just to make a plea -- that we'd both get turns
By His throne there once His mission expires
Let me sit next to Messiah
(Let me sit next to Messiah) Yeah, let me sit, baby
(Let me sit next to Messiah) Let me sit
(Let me sit next to Messiah) Oh, let me sit
(Let me sit next to Messiah) Oh!

Remove all the rulers
Let me and Jimmy take over

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about
Yeah!
Get on with it, baby!

LEAD
Oh!
Yeah

That's what I'm talking about!
Now dig this!
Ha!
Now listen, baby!
He tried to give us a warning to better explain His reign
Save us from our zany brains
Now I've only got a servant's desire
Let me serve next to Messiah, uh huh

(Let me serve next to Messiah) Ow! Let me serve
(Let me serve next to Messiah) Oh, let me serve, baby
(Let me serve next to Messiah) I ain't got ulterior motives at all
(Let me serve next to Messiah) Oh!
Yeah!
I got a new motivation
I just wanna serve the brethren
Aw, I'd make an immature leader
Oh!
Ah, yes, this is Jimmy's brother, baby
Yeah, baby!
Yeah ehhhhhhhhh heh

Mark 10:37
They replied, "Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory."


Some Signs and Wonders Follow
Parody of "Some Kind of Wonderful" performed by Grand Funk and written by John Ellison
(Mark 16:17-18; John 14:12; Acts 3:1-12, 5:12-16, 19:11-12)

I know Peter and Paul had no money
I know neither's a big-time star
But God did great things with them and, man, that was
What God wrote the Book of Acts for

I-I don't have to hunt around
I know Acts displays that all right
In 5:15,16, 19:12,11
And we know it's cause of Jesus Christ

'Cause my Savior is Jesus Christ
And my Savior He prophesied
Don't you know, they'd see
See some signs and wonders follow
See some signs and wonders follow (Mark 16:17)
See some signs and wonders follow
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eah-eh-eh

We're not holy without God
You know He sets our souls on fire
Ooh, when He saves us biblically
Our hearts become filled with Messiah
When He zapped poor Saul of Tarsus soundly
He caught him driving while he was blind
Yeah, He was changing history
Filled him up -- that's found in Acts 9

'Cause my Savior is Jesus Christ
Yeah, my Savior He prophesied
Don't you know, they'd see it
See some signs and wonders follow
See some signs and wonders follow (and they did)
See some signs and wonders follow
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eh-eh-ah

Now is there anybody -- that believes in those wonders and signs?
There's got to be somebody -- God helped
That believes in those wonders and signs -- Yeah!

Now, can I get a witness? (Yeah!)
Can I get a witness? (Whoa! Oh!)
Well, can I get a witness? (One more time now) (Yeah-eh-ehhh-eh!)
Can I get a witness? (Oh-oh oh-oh ohhh ohh) (Ohh whoa!)
Can I get a witness? (Everybody) (Yeah-ehh ehh-eh-eh!)
Can I get a witness? (Yeah, yes)

He told the Apostles that they'd plainly
See some signs and wonders follow (Yeah-eh)
He told them that they'd plainly
See some signs and wonders follow
Talked about it plainly
See some signs and wonders follow
Talked about it plainly
See some signs and wonders follow (So plainly, so plainly) (Whoa-oh oh-oh)
Told them about it plainly
See some signs and wonders follow (So plainly, so plainly) (yeah!)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eh-eh-eh
See some signs and wonders follow (So plainly, so plainly)
Talked about it plainly
See some signs and wonders follow (So plainly, so plainly)
Man, Christ talked about that plainly
See some signs and wonders follow (So plainly, so plainly hey-ay yay-ay-ay)
Talked about it plainly
See some signs and wonders follow
(So plainly, man, so plainly, man, so plainly hey-ay yay-ay-ay)

Mark 16:17-18
And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; they shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.