Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on Decent Alternative (2020)?

Our 60th CD, Decent Alternative, was released in October 2020:

Here's a complete track listing:

1. Quite a God - What I Got - Sublime
2. Hey Philistines - Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms
3. Birdie in Thy Hand - Burden in My Hand - Soundgarden
4. Even Though - Even Flow - Pearl Jam
5. Mr. Don't - Mr. Jones - Counting Crows
6. Celebrity Kin - Celebrity Skin - Hole
7. Seven Romans - Every Morning - Sugar Ray
8. If I Could Only See - If You Could Only See - Tonic
9. Rippin Out a Whole Lot of Favorite Parts - Trippin' On a Hole in a Paper Heart - Stone Temple Pilots
10. Get Serene - Glycerine - Bush
11. Good Trend - Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet
12. God Speaks - Don't Speak - No Doubt

And here are the lyrics:

Quite a God
Parody of "What I Got" performed by Sublime and written by Bud Gaugh, Bradley Nowell, Half Pint & Eric Wilson
(Psalm 8:1-9, 23:1-6, 37:1-40; 1 Peter 5:6-7; Philippians 4:6-7; 1 John 2:25)

Early in the morning, risin' to the beep
I'll be up at 6 a.m. when I'd like to prolong my sleep
Got to do Bible-readin' readin' keeps me strong
Fortified with Raisin Bran and morning talks with God
I've got His salvation, but I can still get tired
I can pray to get out of that mud and muck and mire

Life is too hard to live without your God
God made my cup run over and I like it -- a lot
Whenever I get panicked, I just give Him all my stress
Never have been banished or been told I'm too blest
Gave us all examples of His serendipity
Take a look in Romans, kids, in all sincerity
God is quite a God this is what I preach
And His Son came down that's quite a long reach
When He comes back for you, you'll finally get what you preferred
Try and get the facts they're found in His Word
Love the Son of God you're smart, so why not?
You'll need Him when the pan gets hot

Love Him He's quite a God
You should remember that
Love Him He's quite a God
And remember that
Love Him He's quite a God
We should remember that
Love Him He's quite a God (our God, our God, our God)

I don't mind if my God runs my day
I don't get anxious 'bout the bills I have to pay
Well, I get anxious but my mind knows God
Is my Father and provides through it all
Fussin' and frettin' it's all in vain
Remembering Who is God's the only way to stay sane
Everlasting life in Heaven God has for me

Love Him He's quite a God
You should remember that
Love Him He's quite a God
And remember that
Love Him He's quite a God
We should remember that
Love Him He's quite a God (our God, our God, our God)

Psalm 8:1
Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!


Hey Philistines
Parody of "Hey Jealousy" performed by Gin Blossoms and written by Doug Hopkins
(1 Samuel 4:1-6:21)

Well, tell me, did you think you'd be all right
To fight against us Israelites?
You can steal our Lord's Ark of the Covenant
And get away, but God goes where it goes
Yet, you know, it might not be that bad
If you'd oppressed us and left it at that
But now that you've stolen the holy thing of Israel
He may not leave you alone

Tomorrow, you can drive it out of town
Because your god, Dagon, fell down
Smashed his head and arms upon the ground in great disgrace
Hey, Philistines — Hey, Philistines — Hey, Philistines — Hey, Philistines

You can trust me — God's too big
And strong to keep around
And if you don't respect His majesty
You might get three dead towns
'Cause I don't think He wants to be with you
I'm feelin' like He's mad — it's true
If my God had shown you all His miracles
You'd rightly fear Him, too

Tomorrow, you can drive it out of town
Because your god, Dagon, fell down
Ashdod, Gath, and Ekron, finally found He hates this place
Hey, Philistines

Tomorrow, you can drive it out of town
Because your god, Dagon, fell down
Smashed his head and arms upon the ground in great disgrace
Hey, Philistines — Hey, Philistines — Hey, Philistines — Hey, Philistines

Well, tell me, did you think you'd be all right
To fight against us Israelites?
You can steal our Lord's Ark of the Covenant
And get away, but God goes where it goes
Yet you know, it might not be that bad
If you'd oppressed us and left it at that
You might have to return that Holy thing to Israel
To make God leave you alone

Tomorrow, you can drive it out of town
Because your god, Dagon, fell down
Ashdod, Gath, and Ekron, finally found He hates this place
Hey, Philistines

Hey, Philistines
Yes, you took God's Ark
Well, there's only one thing now to do that's smart

1 Samuel 5:1-2
After the Philistines had captured the ark of God, they took it from Ebenezer to Ashdod. Then they carried the ark into Dagon's temple and set it beside Dagon.


Birdie in Thy Hand
Parody of "Burden in My Hand" performed by Soundgarden and written by Chris Cornell
(Matthew 6:26-34, 10:29-31; Luke 12:6-7, 12:24-32, Psalms 37:25)

Swallowing the food they gather the birdies travel on
Back awhile up north and south then down they all will fall
And all along the routes they're flying they'll need to eat again
So fend for yourself or seek the Father Who knows from overhead
Oh, whoa there they go
Wherever birds fly God provides every time

I lost my job today who'll provide for me?
I'm past my rent again who'll supply my needs?

Clothing and a house and bread I need those little simple things
To fear is wrong 'cause God helps everyone who has a need
He'll give you help it's in Luke 12 He'll give everything to us
And if you wish, you can call to Jesus for what you need the most

I lost my job today who'll provide for me?
I'm past my rent again who'll supply my needs?
I'm just a little man just a birdie in Thy hand
I'll rest my head again You'll provide for me

Just a birdie in Thy hand yet You number all my hairs
You've kept a bottle for my tears -- and I know You care

So all we need is food and shelter -- the rest is added on
Give full pursuit to the Kingdom of Heaven
And all those little things shall come
Oh, bro don't you know
Wherever sons cry God provides every time

I lost my job today who'll provide for me, yeah
I'm past my rent again who'll supply my needs?
I'm just a little man just a birdie in Thy hand
I'll rest my head again You'll provide for me
Yeah, You'll provide for me

Matthew 6:26
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"


Even Though
Parody of "Even Flow" performed by Pearl Jam and written by Stone Gossard & Eddie Vedder
(Philippians 2:3-8; Hebrews 4:15; 2 Corinthians 8:9; Romans 9:5; John 1:1, 14)

Readin' read this in the letter to the Philli-ppians 2:5-8, ooh yeah
Oh-oh, Jesus baby, He was deity already when He came all right
Oh oh-oh, did not cling to deity as Someone better than the millions, ooh yeah
Oh-oh-oh, not Him -- He came down and was happy just lookin' the same
Ooonh

Even though ... Christ our Lord was God divine
Oh-oh even so ... He became just like a slave
Oh
Oh, He humbled Himself
And He gave His life away ... life away, life away-ay

Kneelin' look, He knew temptation though He wasn't gonna bend, ooh yeah
Oh oh-oh, prayin' no, the Son of God would never commit any sin
Oh oh but He can understand whenever any sinner's lost his way
Oh-oh, see then -- Hebrews 4:15 all our egos fall to shame
Yeah!

Even though ... Christ our Lord was God divine
Oh-oh even so ... He became just like a slave
Oh -- oh, He humbled Himself
And He gave His life away
Ohhh, we still have His lead --- to imitate
Imitate, imitate
Yeah! Woo! Ahh yeah
Buckle up!

Spoken:
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

Even though ... Christ our Lord was God divine
Oh-oh even so ... He became just like a slave
Oh -- oh, He humbled Himself
And He gave His life away
Ohhh, we still have His lead --- to imitate
Imitate, imitate
Yeah! Woo! Uh, alright
Yeah, Yeah, He's God almighty


Philippians 2:5-8
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.


Mr. Don't
Parody of "Mr. Jones" performed by Counting Crows and written by David Bryson & Adam Duritz
(Genesis 11:1-9, Psalm 2:1-12, Ephesians 4:14, Numbers 25:1-3, James 4:4, John 14:6, Matthew 7:13-14, Revelation 13:8)

Shi-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-nar
Mmm uh huh

They're planning the new age today
Preparin' this mellow, better world
But they don't like all the born-again Christians
'Cause we're backward — and we think so different
You know, they said there's quite a lot of ways — to God
It sounds really beautiful
But we've all known someone beautiful
Who we found out was not so truthful

So, "Come dance," the sirens shout to the poor men
Shi-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-nar-yeah
Uh huh — yeah-eh-eh
Come up to see us — don't miss out on this planning session, and
Let's meet in Babel — Mister, don't!
Believe you me — you can't believe in everything
And I — I wanna discern what's true belief, yeah-eh-eh

Mister, don't scam me — hell is not a fairy tale
And with very exclusive religions — then two can't be true
Ah no, no, just look and you'll see
Smilin' men in bright white
Connin' you, mysterious
But if every path it was true
Truth would never need showing

Well, I'm gonna read the Scriptures
Read myself what Jesus really had to say
All of the books of the Bible are very, very meaningful
Yeah, well, you know, they do not believe it, brother
Ah ahhh, it's all symbolic, yes, they say
If they knew the Gospel — they'd know Christ Himself proclaimed there's just one Way

Mister, don't jam me — look into the Scriptures
And compare them to Buddha for wisdom
These both can't be true
I don't think so — they don't look alike to me
Blending them is not right
They've bought themselves a bridge too far
And it's very warm and fuzzy, but it'll never be ho-o-o-o-o-o-o-ly

I will not believe baloney
And I'm never gonna be phony
I don't believe in lyin'
Yeah, everybody wants a path that's fat
They all want us to think we're God
Yeah, but — He's got a bit of an issue with that
We need belief — but I don't believe in everything — and I
I found in His Son the true belief, true belief, true belief, yeah-eh

Mister, don't slam me — somewhat true is not enough
And the stairway that you built to Heaven
Seems perfect to you
But it's not the peace with God that you need
Don't wanna be dumb children
Mister, don't just believe in something that's a little more fun, see when
Anybody snubs truth — God's Son — said death is not a fun thing, as you can read

Mister, don't blame me — declarin' that you didn't know
When I look at the world's religions
I don't see these parallel paths you see
The Almighty is a big God
But they don't know Christ, so they don't know Him
But when antichrist arrives here, they're gonna see
Things are gonna happen as Christ decreed
Yes, there's no Plan B
It's gonna leave a big mark

Ephesians 4:14
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.


Celebrity Kin
Parody of "Celebrity Skin" performed by Hole and written by Courtney Love, Eric Erlandson & Billy Corgan
(Genesis 29:9-30:24, Leviticus 18:18)

Oh, look me over — I'm all you wanna see
I walk in suddenly — in dreams you'll follow me
Heyyyyy — so I looked at Jacob
Yeah-eh-eh — now he's really taken
Heyyyyy — so long we've been datin' now

Oh, look at my face — my figure's mighty thin
Like Leah's never was — my sister's not a 10
Heyyyyy — so Dad snookered Jacob
Yeah-eh-eh — now he'll get a raincheck
Heyyyyy — he sold me out somehow

When I wake up — there's no Jacob
Yes, who really wore that dress?
Who did he stay with? Not who he thought he would
Now can you blame me if I sound upset?
My dad compelled me — said, "You should share now
Your sister Leah ain't quite blessed like you
Beautiful, gorgeous, cute, and possessive
Can't you stand one more week and just calm down?

You'd better watch out — I'm not the Peace Corps
Got better benefits — and lips to die for
Heyyyyy — so, Dad, you put Jacob
Yeah-eh-eh — down into a snakepit
Heyyyyy — with both of us — kerpow!

When I wake up — there's no Jacob
Have I ever felt jealous of my sis?
I'm not so sure of that — it took a bait and switch
I'm not an actress — I just look glamorous
I'm hardly subtle — I'm full of noise and
Leah's gonna hate it every time we kiss
Now she's fated — to do the housework
Go grab a broom, dear, the kitchen floor's unswept

You wanna marry me? Well, I'm not tending sheep
No, I'm not tending sheep

Genesis 29:17
Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful.


Seven Romans
Parody of "Every Morning" performed by Sugar Ray and written by Richard Bean, Craig Bullock, Stan Frazier, David Kahne, Murphy Karges, Mark McGrath, Joe Nichol, Rodney Sheppard, Pablo Tellez & Abel Zarate
(Romans 7:1-25; Philippians 1:6; 2 Corinthians 5:7, 5:17; John 3:3; Titus 3:1; 1 Peter 1:23)

When we're born again a halo ain't a-gonna come
And hover over most folks' heads
I know it's not like that but Jesus Christ can use me
Though I'm weak and I'm an uptight man

I couldn't understand had to work it out:
"Born again as a Christian yet my problems aren't over
And I'm gripped with doubts"
Somethin' God's revealin' -- stops me from that feelin'
Tells me I'm born again
Says I'll make it through it -- and Romans 7 proves it, amen

(Sugar Jay say:)
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Seven Romans Seven Romans says I'll make it
(Trust the Lord, baby obey His word)
Jesus will right what's wrong -- He's always right, He's always right
(Trust the Lord, baby trust the Lord, baby)

When we're born again an archangel ain't gonna come
And hover over most folks' heads
I know I'm not nice but I know Jesus still loves me
And I know I can believe what He said

Sometimes it's deceivin' -- when you trust your feelings
Turn to the Lord instead
Says I'll make it through it -- although I think I blew it again

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Seven Romans Seven Romans says I'll make it
(Trust the Lord, baby obey His word)
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Seven Romans Seven Romans says I'll make it
(Trust the Lord, baby trust the Lord, baby)

Jesus will right my wrongs -- for me baby
Jesus will right what's wrong with me

When we're born again a halo ain't a-gonna come
And hover over most folks' heads
I know I'm not quite done but Jesus Christ will do it
Like Philippians chapter 1:6 says
(Trust the Lord, baby obey His word)

Whistling starts
Seven Romans
Seven Romans says I'll make it
(Trust the Lord, baby trust the Lord, baby)
Seven Romans
Seven Romans says I'll make it
(Tells me I'm born again)
(Trust the Lord, baby obey His word)

Seven Romans
(Do it again)
Seven Romans says I'll make it

Seven Romans
(Trust the Lord, baby trust the Lord, baby)
Seven Romans says I'll make it
Whistling continues

Romans 7:24-25
What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.


If I Could Only See
Parody of "If You Could Only See" performed by Tonic and written by Emerson Hart
(Mark 10:46-52; Matthew 13:13, Matthew 20:29-34; John 9:39-41; Romans 10:21; Isaiah 65:2)

If I could only see the way He's coming
Then that's where I would run and stand
But I feel my way around this town
It's what I must do
If I could only see I know where I would be — with Jesus
Then Jesus could touch me

Well you've got your vision
And you've got your eyes
And you've got your sophistication
Yeah, but it clouds your sight

You say you see, but you don't
Yes, we believe, but you won't

If I could only see the way He's coming
Then that's where I would run and stand
But I feel my way around this town
It's what I must do
If I could only see I know where I would be — with Jesus
Then Jesus could touch me

You see the road that He's travelin'
You don't have to guess what's happenin'
But He's got to take a little turn to keep off your lawn
Ooh or else you're gonna move

You say you see but you don't
We believe but you won't
He's stretching out His arms to someone who just don't care
You see the Lord where you stand
We'll give our hearts, but you can't

If I could only see the way He's coming
Then that's where I would run and stand
But I feel my way around this town
It's what I must do
If I could only see I know where I would be — with Jesus
Then Jesus could touch me

You say you see but you don't
We believe but you won't — but you won't
You see the Lord where you stand
We'll give our hearts, but you can't

If I could only see the way He's coming
Then that's where I would run and stand
But I feel my way around this town
It's what I must do
If I could only see I know where I would be — with Jesus
Then Jesus could touch me

John 9:39
Jesus said, "For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind."


Rippin' Out a Whole Lot of Favorite Parts
Parody of "Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Heart" performed by Stone Temple Pilots and written by Eric Kretz & Scott Weiland
(Exodus 3:14; Isaiah 40:6-8; Deuteronomy 8:3; Matthew 4:4; 2 Timothy 2:15, 3:16; 1 John 2:27; 2 Peter 3:15-16; Proverbs 30:5-6: Revelation 22:18-19)

Don't cut out my favorite parts — God ain't lyin' anyway
(Take a look — those Bible doubters never trust His Word and power)
Simply let it tell the news — no embellishing the truth
(All that stuff God said, but they — keep on strippin' it away)

I AM THAT I AM, God said, all by Myself
God's not dead and He's not in poor health
So keep your Bible out and read each word someday — let that motivate

Take and read it as it is — Sinners need it all to live
(How can those guys explain the Bible when they didn't rightly divide it?)
Yet though it's hard to hold 'em off, some poor Christians are too soft
(Some people end up leaving God — Guess some Scriptures sound too hard)
They who left, I'll make a bet, in the classroom never read
(Verse 18 and verse 19 through in Revelation 22)

I AM THAT I AM, God said, all by Myself
God's not dead and He's not in poor health
(The) Holy Ghost is closer than we know
And He teaches when we read
I AM THAT I AM, God said, all by Myself
God's not dead and He's not in poor health
So keep your Bible out and read Proverbs 30:5,6 and meditate

I AM THAT I AM, God said, all by Myself
God's not dead and He's not in poor health
(The) Holy Ghost is closer than we know
And He teaches when we read
I AM THAT I AM, God said, all by Myself
God's not dead and He's not in poor health
So keep your Bible out and read each word someday — let that motivate

Proverbs 30:5-6
"Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar."


Get Serene
Parody of "Glycerine" performed by Bush and written by Gavin Rossdale
(Psalm 46:10; Luke 5:16, 6:12; Matthew 14:23; Mark 1:35; Philippians 4:6-7)

I just need more strength it's finally sinkin' in
I must be more still -- that's how I get filled
The quiet is fine it's God's lifeline
But God's prime time gets undermined
If there's things on your mind you'll never think straight
Clouds appear while you pray
You don't want stress to dim your path
Philippians 4:6 and 7 shows that

Don't let the day blow by
Get serene get serene

You're never alone get alone for some time
A party of one can be divine
We're livin' too quick and if you want fixed
Then memorize verse 10 in Psalm 46
Retreat and do that and use the brake
Find a lovely forest on a beautiful lake

Don't let the day blow by

Do the thing Jesus used to do
He'd go and pray in some solitude
Be sure to get peaceful and serene
Our Lord waits there for you and me

Get serene, get serene
Don't let the day blow by get serene
Don't let the day blow by

Get serene, get serene
Oh, get serene, get serene

Bad mood's gone again
Bad mood's gone again
In these calm surroundings

When Jesus our Lord He wanted less stress
He took short trips -- just to re-set
Luke 5, verse 16 He'd slip off and pray
Well, that's just fine -- Christ just wanted time away

Don't let the day blow by
Do the thing Jesus used to do, do, do

Get serene, get serene
Get serene, get serene

Luke 5:16
But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.


Good Trend
Parody of "Girlfriend" performed and written by Matthew Sweet
(Exodus 16:1-36; Numbers 11:7-9; Deuteronomy 8:3, 16; Matthew 6:11; Luke 11:3)

I wanna stuff my tummy
I hear you need some yummies to munch
Oh, I wanna stuff my tummy
I hear you're looking for something for lunch

'Cause you need food
Yet that can be start of a good trend
A unique food
Is actually part of the Lord's plan

My name is Moses, buddy
And that is God's food comin' our way
Oh, it tastes a lot like honey
And manna's what you called it by name

Though you need food
Yes, that can be part of a good trend
Oh, this honey bread's wheat free
But you'll love it 'cause it's the Lord's bread
Hooooooo-oo-oo-oo
1-2-3-4
LEAD

All right!

Though you need food
Yes, that can be part of a good trend
Oh, 'cause, honey, we'll eat free
And you'll learn to call on the Lord then

'Cause you gotta just keep goin', baby
Our Lord will lead us somewhere you'll love
Well, you oughta quit this groanin'
You're only lookin' for trouble above

'Cause you need food
Yet that can be part of a good trend

And they never will forget this scene
No, when I've written Exodus 16

Exodus 16:31
The people of Israel called the bread manna. It was white like coriander seed and tasted like wafers made with honey.


God Speaks
Parody of "Don't Speak" performed by No Doubt and written by Gwen Stefani & Eric Stefani
(Hebrews 1:1-2, 4:12; Isaiah 66:4b; James 1:22-24; 2 Peter 1:20-21; 2 Timothy 3:16-17; Proverbs 30:5-6; John 17:17; 1 Kings 19:11-12)

You and me
We used to read together
Every day to gather knowledge
I really feel — that you're choosin' a dead end
You can't believe the good things He said
It looks as though — you've — let Him go
And if He's real you might not want to know

God speaks — You know just what He's sayin'
So please stop complainin'
Don't yell, because you've heard
God speaks — I know where to seek Him
I will keep on readin'
Don't fail to trust His Word

All men are free
They can read the writing
But comin' up to God Almighty's frightening
As we die — both you and I
Will be headin' to Him who sits on high

God speaks — You know just what He's sayin'
So please stop complainin'
Don't yell, because you've heard
No, no, no-oh
God speaks — I know where to seek Him
And I will keep on readin'
Don't fail to trust His Word

It's heart-rending
You oughta stop pretending
You're fooling us

You have needs — I can see you're dyin'
Call me

God speaks — You know just what He's sayin'
So please stop complainin'
Don't yell, because you've heard
No, no — God speaks — I know where to seek Him
And I will keep on readin'
Don't fail to trust His Word
Don't fail to trust His Word

We all know what He's sayin'
So please stop complainin'
God speaks, God speaks, God speaks, oh
I know where to seek Him
And I will keep on readin'
You know you should — I know you could — you know, you still could, oh

La la la la
La la la la
Don't — go — ooh, ooh
Hush, God's callin' ‑ Hush, God's callin'
Hush, hush
Don't yell, because you've heard
Hush, God's callin' — Hush, God's callin'
Hush, hush
Don't fail to trust His Word
Ooh Hush, God's callin' — Hush, God's callin'

Hebrews 1:1-2
In the past God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom also he made the universe.