Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What were some parodies that didn't make it?

Let's ask ApologetiX lead singer and lyricist J. Jackson:

Well, we wanted to do an Iron Butterfly parody where instead of saying "In a gadda da vida, baby," we say "In a Danny DeVito movie," but I still can't find the Biblical application. Then there was that parody of "She Blinded Me With Science" by Thomas Dolby, "She Blinded Me With Pliers," but that was too violent.

Oh and that parody of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" called "He Isn't Mark McGwire" but who am I as a Christian to pick on Sammy Sosa just because he came up a few homers short? Speaking of baseball, how about a Yankees parody about Derek Jeter to the tune of Alice in Chains called "Man in the Bronx"?

I'd also like to a parody of "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba. Instead of singing, "I get knocked down but I get up again," I'd like to sing "I just knocked down a Snuffleupagus." Hey, Sesame Street does parodies of popular songs all the time, right? I just have to wait till they have Chumbawamba on. I'd love to see The Count do a parody of Led Zeppelin's "Nobody's Fault But Mine" called "Nobody Counts to Nine."

Speaking of kid's shows from my past, I'd like to do a version of "Tuff Enuff" by the Fabulous Thunderbirds. Instead of singing "Ain't that tuff enuff," we sing, "H.R. Pufnstuf," that great Sid & Marty Krofft show from 1969.

Can you imagine Ted Nugent performing for kids singing "Hop Scotch Fever"? How about "Sasquatch Fever"?

What about parents? We could do a parody of the Bonnie Raitt song, "Let's Give 'Em Something to Talk About" and call it: "I'll Give You Something to Cry About."

And then there's the Beach Boys' "Little Deuce Coupe," which we think would be great at "Little Loose Tooth," and Yes' "Owner of the Lonely Heart," which just has to be "Owner of the Mini Mart." Instead of singing "Prove yourself!" at the beginning, we could sing "Food for sale!"

Finally, there's Johnny Cash doing the Nine Inch Nails song "Hurt." Instead of, "I hurt myself today," how about "I burped myself today"?

But seriously, folks, we have over 500 parodies completed with many more started or half done, and only 200 or so have made it to CD thus far. So there are too many for us to record them all, even though we do cram about 20 songs on each CD. And on our recently CDs, we've actually only been dipping into the vaults for a couple, because I think I write tighter parodies than I used to, and I sometimes prefer to start from scratch than to overhaul one I wrote six or seven years ago.