ApologetiX- Song Lyrics: Downer of a Sister

Chart History
From the album Toxicity, Chop Suey was a #7 hit for System of a Down in 2001.

Songwriter:
Serj Tankian & Daron Malakian

J's Journal:
A humorous look at the morning after Jacob unknowingly married Leah instead of Rachel, as seen from the perspectives of Leah, Jacob and Laban. One of our fans told me he thought we should do "Fat Lip" by Sum 41 and "Chop Suey" by System of a Down, which were the breakthrough hits for each of those groups. I bought both of the CDs that had the songs on them, and I didn't like either song! I actually liked some of the later hits by each group better than their breakthrough hits. Part of the inspiration for the "Downer of a Sister" parody came from Arron Daniels, a DJ friend of ApologetiX at KBNJ in Corpus Christi, TX. In early 2003, Arron was visiting with the band in Pittsburgh, PA, as we were discussing potential songs to spoof for our upcoming CD project. At the time, System of a Down's "Chop Suey" was on the long list of potential songs, but it wasn't looking like a very strong candidate because of its overall harshness. In fact, of the three System of a Down songs being considered for parody, it looked the least likely to succeed. However, when Arron heard "Chop Suey" was on the list, he began to do his impression of System of a Down's lead singer, Serj Tankian, shouting "Wake up!" as he does in the original version. Arron's impression brought the band to fits of laughter, and I was never able to look at the original song the same way again. Suddenly I realized the comedic potential of the song. Listening to "Chop Suey" in the car a few days later, I noticed that "Wake up" rhymed very nicely with "Jacob." Then the imagery came to me -- Leah the morning after the wedding, breaking the news to Jacob that he had married the wrong girl! The sheer lunacy of Leah singing in the harsh voice of a hard rocking band like System of a Down played nicely into the overall image of Leah being less desirable than the lovely Rachel. I knew we had a winner of their hands and that God had once again provided inspiration where days before there was nothing. The title is one of my favorite ApologetiX titles, too.

Stats:
Genre: Modern Rock
Length: 3:31

Downer of a Sister
Parody of "Chop Suey" by System of a Down
(Genesis 29)

Wake up, we probably should talk a little Jacob
Why? Because there’s been a major shake up
Light the lamp they keep upon the table
Yeah, you married me instead of Rachel
You want me to
Wear a veil and never put the shades up?
You want me to
Try to starve and find a way to shape up?
You want me to
Drive to Egypt get myself a facial?
You want me to?
Oh, I don’t think you trust in my shelf-life as your new bride
I tried but Rachel’s the perfect size!
Wake up, Laban, you’re in trouble this is Jacob
Open up the door or it’ll break up
Why’d you give me Leah ‘stead of Rachel
Yeah you know she ain’t no Charlie’s Angel
(You wanted to)
Even if she puts on lots of make-up
(Put fun into)
Leah’s face could scare away your hiccups
(My honeymoon)
I’ve seen better faces on a bagel
(I’ll punish you)
Why don’t we discuss this nice
Downsize your foolish pride
Why fight? I gave you the first in line
And I threw in a concubine
All right – for Rachel just serve me twice
Father! Father! Father! Father!
Father it’s too intense; I can’t stand to hear it
Father you knew the plan – Why did you give Jacob me?
In disguise so secretly? Is there no escape for me?
It’s my heart you’re breakin’, please no!
Brushed aside – Now I’m just doin’ time
I cry while Jacob diversifies
Can’t lie – she’s such a cutie pie
Why try – when Rachel’s the perfect bride