<< Close window to go back

Chart History
From the album Hotel California, Hotel California was a #1 Pop hit for The Eagles in 1977.

Don Felder, Don Henley & Glenn Frey

Guest Stars
David McKee
J's Journal:
This song is the story of the Nativity told from the perspective of Jesus' foster father, Joseph. I remember getting the idea for this one in a Giant Eagle supermarket parking lot near my home in Pittsburgh in 1996. Snow was falling, and the original song was on the radio. We originally released "Hotel Can't Afford Ya" on "Jesus Christ Morningstar" in 1998, but after playing it live for a few years, we felt we could do a much better job. Consequently, when we made a Christmas EP in 2001, we decided to re-record "Hotel," and we also added the Eagles puns at the beginning and the "Silent Night" part at the end. Since the Christmas EPs were never available in stores but included some of our favorite parodies, we put four of those songs on "New & Used Hits."
Genre: Classic Rock
Length: 6:27

Hotel Can't Afford Ya
Parody of "Hotel California" by The Eagles
(Luke 2:7)

From a dark desert highway we pulled into the inn
Rome called for a census -- I was from Bethlehem
Up above from a distance a star was giving me light
My wife was heavy cause her child was due -- We had to stop for the night
So we stood in the doorway of Bethlehem Hotel
And I was thinking to myself, "I hope to Heaven they'll give me some help"
But they told us no-can-do and they sent me away
"There's a place around the corner though where you both can stay"
Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya
Such a lovely place but we're out of space
Ran out of room and the hotel can't afford ya
It's the time of year -- with the census here
My wife was definitely gifted -- That's what the Lord's angel said
She was about to have a baby boy while still virgin
Spent the night in a barnyard -- cheap slumlord's rent
Some night to remember -- some night to forget
So because of what happened I was grieving for my wife
I said, they probably haven't cleaned in here since B.C. 65
Animal voices were calling for straw and hay
Keep you up through the middle of the night just as if to say
Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya
It's a lovely place, but we're out of space
Holiday rush and the hotel can't afford ya
What a nice surprise for your silent night
He was born that evening and shepherds came that night
And they said, We are all just visitors here -- of the Holy Christ
And in an ass's  manger, they found the boy asleep
They started gettin' teary eyed so they went back to their sheep
Last thing I remember there were wise men at the door
They had a bunch of packages from the place they were before
We're late, said the wise men, We had problems Christmas Eve
We've been checking out your shiny light all through the Middle East

Luke 2:7
... and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

©2013 Parodudes Music, Inc.