Jezebel
Parody of "Just a Girl" by No Doubt
(1 Kings 16:31, 18:13, 19:1-2, 21:1-25; 2 Kings 9:30-37)

Hey, I just painted up my eyes
And my clothes – are a little big in size
Don't you think I need elastic stretch waist bands
My husband's forcing me to wear the pants

'Cause I'm Jezebel - I'm Israel's king
So don't tell me that I'm his wife
Yes I'm Jezebel – I'm the one who really pulls the strings
So don't tell me 'bout equal rights
Oh ... I'm happy enough right here

The moment that I came from Sidon
So many Hebrews have had to run and hide
Can't do religious things that they hold so dear
It's not the little king that they fear

If they want to survive, they comply
Oh, I'm Jezebel, and the prophets won't preach
'Cause I put them to death when they try
Yes I'm Jezebel – throw the Good Book at me
For unbiblical brutal crimes
Oh ... they have a lot to fear
LEAD
Oh ... I can make it myself, dear

Someone just rebelled
I just-a fell – hear me yell
There's not much that's left of me

Oh, I'm Jezebel – there has been a conspiracy
I took a plunge and I heard a crunch
Oh, I'm Jezebel, where's the rest of me?
Well, I've a hunch dogs just ate me for lunch
Oh, I'm Jezebel – my skull's all I see
Elijah's won – it's over and done
Oh, I'm Jezebel – woe is me
My evil's done – it's no fun – perishin'*
Oh – I've had it, I'm through
Oh – It's sad but quite true
Oh – I have a lot to fear

*NOTE: In this verse, the word "pershin'" should be pronouced as
"per-i-SHUN," so it rhymes with "ones" and "fun."