Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums
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as of May 26, 2018

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05.24.1818th ApX Episode on Radio This Weekend
05.24.18Update: What's Going On & What's Gone Wrong?
05.21.18Get Multiple Downloads for One Donation
05.21.18Get Multiple Downloads for One Donation
05.18.18Three Great New ApX Videos
05.18.18ApX in Grade School in the Great White North
05.18.18How to Donate Online or by Mail
05.18.18New ApX USB Thumb Drives in Stock
05.18.18ApX on 30 Different Music Services Worldwide
05.15.18New Single: London & the Land of Lincoln
05.10.18Four Touching Testimonies We Had to Share
05.10.18How to Donate & How to Get Multiple MP3s
05.10.18The Delightful Dozen: 12 Notes from 12 States
05.10.18Encouragement from Abroad
05.09.18From an Oregon Pastor and Night Ranger's Sound Tech
05.09.18ApX Helps Reporter Recover from Tough Meetings
05.04.18Prayers for the Other David Cassidy
05.04.18Video of the Week: I Love Apostle Paul
05.04.18Never Mind the Sex Pistols, Here's ApologetiX
05.04.18Clues for Our Ninth Single of 2018
05.02.181150 Tracks for $100 (Extended Thru Thursday)
04.27.18Oregon but Not Forgotten
04.27.18ApX Helps College Student Help Others
04.27.18Get Our Complete Library for $100
04.27.18600th Song is Here, New Songbook is Coming
04.21.18Pastors Use ApX Parodies in Church Services
04.21.18400,000 World Magazine Readers to Discover ApX
04.21.18ApX Interviewed by American Family Radio
04.21.18Another Station Adds New ApX Radio Show
04.18.18New Single: 2 Rockers from the 70's
04.16.18New CD Deal Ends Tonight (Get 1 of 27 CDs Free)
04.13.18Music to File Taxes By: ApX Playlist for April 15
04.12.1812th ApX Episode on Radio This Weekend
04.11.18Clues for Our Eighth Single of 2018
04.10.18New CD Deal Ends Soon
04.06.18Bittersweet Testimony from Eastern PA
04.06.18Encouragement from 10 States (Plus Canada)
04.02.18New Single: The Nazarene & The Gadarenes
03.31.18Kenya Believe It? ApX is "Greatest Band Ever"
03.31.18Woman Moved to Tears by ApX Video
03.31.18What Songs Are on the New CD?
03.29.18This Weekend's Single Includes an Easter Treat
03.23.18ApX Passion Week Radio Special This Wkd
03.23.18Kudos from VA, IN, FL, WY & Canada
03.23.18Fabulous Fan Mail from France
03.22.18Here's the ApX Easter Top 40 Playlist
03.17.18More Encouragement from Far and Wide
03.17.18Fans React to Our New Single
03.17.18The Title and Theme of Our Next CD
03.16.18More ApX on the Radio This Weekend
03.14.18New Single: 2 Bands We've Never Spoofed Before
03.09.18Prayers for Keith Haynie's Sister
03.09.18From a New Fan in Manitoba
03.09.18New Clues for You: This Weekend's Single
03.06.18We Need Help, but Good Things Are Happening
03.02.18Encouragement from a Former Atheist in Iowa
03.02.18ApX Album Changed Maryland Man's Life
03.02.18ApX Aids Brothers in Arkansas
03.01.18ApX Video Was Just What He Needed
02.27.18ApX Releases 100th Single (2 New Parodies)
02.23.18Happy 50th Birthday, Todd Waites!
02.23.18Mississippi Man Announces ApX Plan
02.23.18Encouragement from an Educator in Ann Arbor
02.22.18Here Comes Our 100th Single/EP
02.22.18Clues for Our Fifth Single of 2018
02.16.18Fans React to Our Latest Remake
02.16.18New Batch of ApX USB Thumb Drives in Stock
02.16.18Scottish Blog Interviews ApX Lead Singer
02.16.18ApX on the Radio Again This Weekend
02.14.18New Single: Bad-Boy Bands (Not Bad Boy-Bands)
02.09.18Another Station Adds Weekly ApX Radio Show
02.09.18ApX on the Air in Remote Alaska
02.09.18Clues for Our Fourth Single of 2018
02.07.18Happy Birthday, Chris VonBartheld!
02.06.181100 Tracks for $100 Ends Saturday
02.02.18One Good Testimony Deserves Another (from Canada)
02.02.18New Fan in Washington, Old Fan in Alaska
02.02.18Beam Us Up, Scotland!
02.01.18More Stations Add New ApX Radio Show
01.30.18New Single (2 Killer Bs)
01.29.181100 Tracks for $100 Extended Another Week
01.26.18Apol-Annoyance in Austin
01.26.18MI Pastor Speaks Frankly to ApX
01.25.18Clues for Our Third Single of 2018
01.24.18Prayers for ApX Fan Deborah Huff in ICU
01.22.181100 Tracks $100 Ends Soon
01.22.18New Radio Program Will Feature ApX Regularly
01.22.18Pastor Looks Back on 19 Years as ApX Fan
01.19.18Special Request from ApX's Chris Von Bartheld
01.19.181100 Tracks for $100
01.19.18Get Multiple Downloads for Any Size Donation
01.19.18How to Donate Online or by Mail
01.19.18Encouragement from a Pastor in NC
01.18.18The Principal and the Parodies
01.18.18New Single: Tears for Fears & Alanis Morissette
01.16.18New Single (80s & 90s)
01.10.18ApX Lead Singer on ESPN Again This Weekend
01.10.18Fan Will Match Donations Up to $5000
01.10.18You Don't Need to Be in the USA to Enjoy Our USB
01.10.18Clues for Our Second Single of 2018

X30: The Last "Stanned" (Two New Names for Keith)
Mon., May. 15. 2006 6:30pm EDT

As long-time ApologetiX fans know, our bass player, Keith Haynie, has gone through more identity changes in 10 years than Madonna, Bowie, and Cher in their combined careers. In fact, he almost makes Jennifer Garner's undercover-agent life on "Alias" look stable.

Like the shape-shifting Mystique of the X-Men flicks, the bass-gripping Keith of ApologetiX is a master of morphing, Oh, sure, he still looks the same as when he joined us over a decade ago, but his name keeps changing.

We're not talking about nicknames, either. For some reason, many people get Keith's first name wrong, yet he's rarely called by the same wrong name more than once.  This process is called "stanning," because it all started back in 1996 at a Waffle House in Georgia, when a waitress mistakenly called him "Stan." Since then, in about the same amount of time it took to get from Sean Combs to Puff Daddy to P. Diddy, Keith has gone acquired 27 new first names.

This weekend, he added two more, bringing his grand total of first names up to 30, counting his given name, even though people rarely seem to call him that! Here's how the latest episodes of nomenclature transpired:

The first new naming occurred before our flight from Pittsburgh to Dallas the morning of May 12: "Coming through TSA," Keith recounts, "the guy was looking right at my boarding pass. My name is right there in black and green. He handed it right to me and said, 'There you go, Ken!'"

Greg Micher, who came along to California as our roadie and sound man, was eyewitness to the second Keith renaming, on May 13 before our concert in La Quinta. "I introduced myself to one of the guys in charge at the church. He said, 'You're Greg with a G.' I said, 'Yes.' He pointed at Keith (whom he'd already met) and said, 'That's Craig with a C.?'"

Although he'd heard the lore before, Greg was delighted to see Keith get "stanned" firsthand. Here is the documented progression and origin of the names in chronological order:

Stan (Waffle House in Georgia – 1996)
Ted (Ohio – 1997)
Gary (Bradford PA – 1998)
Stu (Lock Haven PA – 1999)
Curly (McDonald's in Ohio or Indiana – 1999)
Kevin (on the job in Pennsylvania by a thankful customer – 1999)
Baby (all-night diner in Reading PA – 1999)
Kenny (Denny's in Albany NY – 1999)
Rich (church in Donora PA – 1999)
Speedo (church in Donora PA – by a pastor – 1999)
Lee (concert in Houston TX – 2000)
Mr. Galparin (airplane on Texas trip – 2000)
John Crawford (I can't remember where but it happened – 2000)
Brian (concert in Kansas – 2000)
Frank (I can't remember where, but it happened – 2000)
Sean (concert in Austin TX – 2001)
Mark (concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Omar (same concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Cliff (photographer who took publicity shots – 2001)
Ryan (member of Poor Baker's Dozen called him that at a concert in Minnesota – 2001)
Ed (some lady said this to Keith's wife, Krista, in October 3 2001)
Kent (Mickey Hall in Oklahoma July 2002, according to her husband, Tom)
Heath (lady at hotel desk in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Pete (concert promoter in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Brad (DJ Dave Purin at the WJLU in Daytona/Port Orange FL - September 2003)
Naynie (stage plot in Colorado Springs CO - August 2005)
Kelly (person at Bismarck ND concert - December 2005)
Jeff (lady at his church in a Christmas card - December 2005)
Ken (TSA guy at the Pittsburgh Airport - May 2006)
Craig (concert helper in La Quinta CA - May 2006)

Remember:  We don't count it if somebody TRIES to give Keith a new name.  The beauty of this list of names is that they were names used by people who unintentionally got Keith's name wrong. No cheating!