Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums
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as of January 17, 2018

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01.16.18New Single (80s & 90s)
01.10.18ApX Lead Singer on ESPN Again This Weekend
01.10.18Fan Will Match Donations Up to $5000
01.10.18You Don't Need to Be in the USA to Enjoy Our USB
01.10.18Clues for Our Second Single of 2018
01.08.18Get All Our Parodies on USB
01.08.181100 Tracks for $100
01.08.18New CD BOGO Ends Sunday
01.04.18California Fan Comments on New CD
01.04.182017: The Year in Review for ApologetiX
01.04.18The Stories Behind the Songs on Our New Single
01.02.18How to Donate & How to Get Multiple MP3s
01.02.18Get Multiple Downloads for Any Size Donation
01.02.18New Single for a New Year
01.02.18BOGO Special on New CD Ends Sunday
12.31.17Get Multiple Downloads for Any Size Donation
12.28.17Buy Our 50th CD, Get 1 of 26 CDs Free
12.28.17Get Our Complete Library on USB
12.28.17How to Donate Online or By Mail
12.28.17Shirts in Stock in Seven Sizes
12.28.17Clues for Our Last Single of 2017
12.21.17ApX Christmas Videos on YouTube
12.21.17After the Gift Rush: What if You Order Now?
12.21.17ApX Inspires Fan Who Then Inspires ApX
12.21.17New Single: 2 from Our 25th Anniversary Show
12.18.17New CD in Stock, Order Today for Christmas
12.14.17How to Donate & How to Get Multiple MP3s
12.14.17So is it Alexa-getiX or Apol-alexa?
12.14.17Clues for This Weekend's Single
12.14.17What's New on the New CD?
12.14.17Complete Your ApX Christmas Playlist
12.14.17Deadlines for Delivery Before Christmas
12.07.17The Story Behind the Title of Our New CD
12.05.17ApX Alum Becomes Amazon Prince
12.04.17Buy Our 50th CD, Get 1 of 26 CDs Free
11.29.17The Stories Behind Our New Single
11.29.17Update on Our Upcoming 50th CD
11.27.17ApX Needs Holiday Help & Prayers
11.27.17New Single: American-Made 70's & 90's Hits
11.23.17Get Ready for Our 50th CD
11.23.17Thanksgiving Song and Video for You
11.23.17Clues for Our Next Single
11.23.17Fan Says Thanks for "Thankfully" Song & Video
11.21.17Thanksgiving Message for Fans
11.17.17New Single Spoofs British Invasion Bands
11.17.17Tinch Gets Married & Celebrates Anniversary
11.17.17ApX Songbook Useful While Awaiting Auto Repairs
11.17.17Trunk or Treat with ApX Near Harrisburg PA
11.17.17ApX Over the Office Airwaves in Ohio
11.15.17Tinch Celebrates His ApX Anniversary
11.13.17New CD Deal Ends This Wkd (BOGO)
11.10.17ApX Adventures in Odyssey: Mag Makes Mention
11.10.17Steffi's Story: 12 Years of ApX in AZ
11.09.17Cluing You in on Our Next Single
11.07.17New CD Deal Ends Soon
11.02.17New Single Spoofs '69 & '71 Hits
11.02.17Texas Praise Band Plays ApX for Church
11.02.17ApX Affects Radio Request Line in TN
11.02.17Live Moose: ApX Alum to Host Benefit Show Saturday
10.29.17Jimmy "Vegas"Celebrates a Dozen Years with ApX
10.27.17The Late Great Next ApX Single Due This Weekend
10.26.17What's Up with the 25th Anniversary CD & DVD?
10.26.17New USBs with Complete Library in Stock
10.26.17Fan Mail from a Family of 10 in Alaska
10.21.17Amazing Testimony from a Fan's Son in AZ
10.21.17Michigan Men Go to Green Bay for ApX Experience
10.21.17From Foster Care to Adoption to ApologetiX
10.21.17What You Need to Know About Our Next Single
10.20.17San Antonio Pastor Encourages ApX
10.20.17What Songs Are on the New CD?
10.13.17From a Dad in Connecticut
10.13.17Amazing Things God is Doing in Iran
10.13.17A Tribute to ApX Friend Millie Gerbo
10.12.17ApologetiX in Green Bay Saturday (25th Anniversary)
10.12.17From a Foster Mom in Colorado
10.11.17ApX Alum Drummer Needs Alabama Musicians
10.10.17Buy Our Next CD, Get 1 of 25 CDs Free
10.07.17The Title and Theme of Our Upcoming 49th CD
10.06.17Next Saturday: ApX 25th Anniv. Concert Midwest
10.06.17Join J. & Jimmy for a Special Show This Sunday
10.06.17New Single Spoofs The Cars & The Raspberries
10.04.17New Single, Help & Prayer Needed
09.29.171050 Tracks for 100 Bucks Ends Saturday
09.29.17Help & Prayer Needed
09.28.17Clues for Our Next Single
09.26.17The Latest News from the Man Called Moose
09.25.17Half Off CDs, MP3s & DVDs Ends Saturday
09.25.17Half Off & 1050 Tracks Deals End Saturday
09.20.17This Looks Like a Job for an ApX Fan
09.18.17New Single Spoofs 70's & 80's
09.17.17New Single Spoofs Tunes from '70 & '83
09.14.17Clues for Our Upcoming Single
09.14.17Powerlifter Pumps Up ApX with Encouragement
09.01.17Encouraging Emails: Eight is Enough
08.29.17Is There a Missing Churchigo EP?
08.28.17New Single Here at Last
08.26.1725th Anniversary Lapel Pins Now Available
08.26.17Anniversary Shirts Available at Last
08.26.17New CD BOGO Sale Ends Sunday Night
08.26.17About This Weekend's Single

X30: The Last "Stanned" (Two New Names for Keith)
Mon., May. 15. 2006 6:30pm EDT

As long-time ApologetiX fans know, our bass player, Keith Haynie, has gone through more identity changes in 10 years than Madonna, Bowie, and Cher in their combined careers. In fact, he almost makes Jennifer Garner's undercover-agent life on "Alias" look stable.

Like the shape-shifting Mystique of the X-Men flicks, the bass-gripping Keith of ApologetiX is a master of morphing, Oh, sure, he still looks the same as when he joined us over a decade ago, but his name keeps changing.

We're not talking about nicknames, either. For some reason, many people get Keith's first name wrong, yet he's rarely called by the same wrong name more than once.  This process is called "stanning," because it all started back in 1996 at a Waffle House in Georgia, when a waitress mistakenly called him "Stan." Since then, in about the same amount of time it took to get from Sean Combs to Puff Daddy to P. Diddy, Keith has gone acquired 27 new first names.

This weekend, he added two more, bringing his grand total of first names up to 30, counting his given name, even though people rarely seem to call him that! Here's how the latest episodes of nomenclature transpired:

The first new naming occurred before our flight from Pittsburgh to Dallas the morning of May 12: "Coming through TSA," Keith recounts, "the guy was looking right at my boarding pass. My name is right there in black and green. He handed it right to me and said, 'There you go, Ken!'"

Greg Micher, who came along to California as our roadie and sound man, was eyewitness to the second Keith renaming, on May 13 before our concert in La Quinta. "I introduced myself to one of the guys in charge at the church. He said, 'You're Greg with a G.' I said, 'Yes.' He pointed at Keith (whom he'd already met) and said, 'That's Craig with a C.?'"

Although he'd heard the lore before, Greg was delighted to see Keith get "stanned" firsthand. Here is the documented progression and origin of the names in chronological order:

Stan (Waffle House in Georgia – 1996)
Ted (Ohio – 1997)
Gary (Bradford PA – 1998)
Stu (Lock Haven PA – 1999)
Curly (McDonald's in Ohio or Indiana – 1999)
Kevin (on the job in Pennsylvania by a thankful customer – 1999)
Baby (all-night diner in Reading PA – 1999)
Kenny (Denny's in Albany NY – 1999)
Rich (church in Donora PA – 1999)
Speedo (church in Donora PA – by a pastor – 1999)
Lee (concert in Houston TX – 2000)
Mr. Galparin (airplane on Texas trip – 2000)
John Crawford (I can't remember where but it happened – 2000)
Brian (concert in Kansas – 2000)
Frank (I can't remember where, but it happened – 2000)
Sean (concert in Austin TX – 2001)
Mark (concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Omar (same concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Cliff (photographer who took publicity shots – 2001)
Ryan (member of Poor Baker's Dozen called him that at a concert in Minnesota – 2001)
Ed (some lady said this to Keith's wife, Krista, in October 3 2001)
Kent (Mickey Hall in Oklahoma July 2002, according to her husband, Tom)
Heath (lady at hotel desk in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Pete (concert promoter in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Brad (DJ Dave Purin at the WJLU in Daytona/Port Orange FL - September 2003)
Naynie (stage plot in Colorado Springs CO - August 2005)
Kelly (person at Bismarck ND concert - December 2005)
Jeff (lady at his church in a Christmas card - December 2005)
Ken (TSA guy at the Pittsburgh Airport - May 2006)
Craig (concert helper in La Quinta CA - May 2006)

Remember:  We don't count it if somebody TRIES to give Keith a new name.  The beauty of this list of names is that they were names used by people who unintentionally got Keith's name wrong. No cheating!