Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums
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10.21.17Get Multiple Downloads for Any Size Donation
10.21.17How to Donate Online or By Mail
10.21.17Amazing Testimony from a Fan's Son in AZ
10.21.17How to Donate & How to Get Multiple MP3s
10.21.17Michigan Men Go to Green Bay for ApX Experience
10.21.17From Foster Care to Adoption to ApologetiX
10.21.17What You Need to Know About Our Next Single
10.20.17San Antonio Pastor Encourages ApX
10.20.17New CD in Stock and Sent to Fans (Buy 1, Get 1 Free)
10.20.17What Songs Are on the New CD?
10.13.17From a Dad in Connecticut
10.13.17Amazing Things God is Doing in Iran
10.13.17A Tribute to ApX Friend Millie Gerbo
10.12.17ApologetiX in Green Bay Saturday (25th Anniversary)
10.12.17From a Foster Mom in Colorado
10.11.17ApX Alum Drummer Needs Alabama Musicians
10.10.17Buy Our Next CD, Get 1 of 25 CDs Free
10.07.17New USBs with Complete Library in Stock
10.07.17The Title and Theme of Our Upcoming 49th CD
10.06.17Next Saturday: ApX 25th Anniv. Concert Midwest
10.06.17Join J. & Jimmy for a Special Show This Sunday
10.06.17New Single Spoofs The Cars & The Raspberries
10.04.17New Single, Help & Prayer Needed
09.29.171050 Tracks for 100 Bucks Ends Saturday
09.29.17Help & Prayer Needed
09.28.17Clues for Our Next Single
09.26.17The Latest News from the Man Called Moose
09.25.17Half Off CDs, MP3s & DVDs Ends Saturday
09.25.17Half Off & 1050 Tracks Deals End Saturday
09.20.17This Looks Like a Job for an ApX Fan
09.18.17New Single Spoofs 70's & 80's
09.17.17New Single Spoofs Tunes from '70 & '83
09.14.17Clues for Our Upcoming Single
09.14.17Powerlifter Pumps Up ApX with Encouragement
09.01.17Encouraging Emails: Eight is Enough
08.29.17Is There a Missing Churchigo EP?
08.28.17New Single Here at Last
08.26.1725th Anniversary Lapel Pins Now Available
08.26.17Anniversary Shirts Available at Last
08.26.17New CD BOGO Sale Ends Sunday Night
08.26.17About This Weekend's Single
08.18.17So How Did Things Go at the Anniversary Show?
08.18.17ApologetiX in Green Bay in 2 Months
08.18.17ApX Keyboardist Todd Waites Has New Video
08.18.17Anniversary Shirts Available for Order Soon
08.05.17ApX: Safe Bet for Sunday School in Reno
08.05.17ApX Parodies Touch Deep in the Heart in Texas
08.05.1725th Anniversary Shirts Coming Next Week
08.05.17Big Show is One Week Away, 80% Full Already
08.02.17New Single Spoofs 2 Hard-Rockin' Classics
07.29.17Clues for Our Next Single
07.29.17ApX Played Nationally on 700 Stations in Australia
07.26.17ApologetiX Needs Help & Prayer Again
07.20.17Minnesota Couple Will Reunite at Anniversary Show
07.20.17The Story Behind Our New Song "Works"
07.17.17New Single (California 80's-Style)
07.14.17Clues for Our Upcoming Single
07.07.17Send Us Your Video for the 25th Anniversary Show
07.07.17Fans from 28 States Coming to 25th Anniversary Show
07.06.17New Single (All 80's), New CD Mailed to Fans
06.30.17Clues for This Weekend's Single
06.30.17Get a Custom ApX Lapel Pin
06.23.17What Songs Are on Our New CD, Zebraic?
06.23.17New CD in Stock, Buy 1 Get 1 of 28 Titles Free
06.23.17New Single Spoofs 'Til Tuesday & REM
06.19.17New Single is Here, New CD is Almost Here
06.17.17ApologetiX: That Christian Wedding Band?
06.17.17Clues for Sunday Night's Single
06.09.17New Single Spoofs Two American Bands
06.09.17Norway to Heaven: Fan Mail from Scandinavia
06.09.17An Edifying Email from a Delaware DJ
06.09.17The Title and Theme of Our Upcoming 48th CD
06.02.17Prayers for ApX at the Wailing Wall in Israel
06.02.17Ohio Man Says ApX Show Was a High Point in His Life
06.02.17Clues for Our Upcoming Single
05.30.17ApologetiX Needs Summer Help and Prayer
05.26.17Fan Mail from a Science Teacher in MI
05.23.17New Single is a Sequel: Poisonous Scorpions Vol. 2
05.20.17Keith Haynie Returns from Nashville, Rumors Abound
05.20.17Seats Filling Fast for 25th Anniversary Show in August
05.20.17Clues for Our Next Single
05.18.17Custom ApX Lapel Pins Available
05.15.17Autographed CD Sale Ends Tuesday
05.12.17New Single is Our Most Creative Ever
05.12.177 Autographed CDs (Ends Tuesday)
05.12.1710 Little Opinions: Brief Notes from Fans All Over
05.12.17Happy Birthday, Moose!
05.08.17Get Multiple Downloads for Any Size Donation
05.05.17Clues for Our Next Single
05.05.17Some Scriptural Thoughts About Cinco de Mayo
05.05.17Clues for Our Next Single
04.28.17Bible Quizzers Celebrate with ApX Victory Song
04.28.17How About New Shirts and a New DVD?
04.28.17New Single Spoofs Van Halen & Loverboy
04.24.17New Single Spoofs 2 Bands That Epitomized the 80's
04.22.17New Zealand Fan Listens to ApX Several Hours a Day
04.22.17ApX as Big in Japan as in the United States
04.21.17Clues for This Weekend's Single
04.21.17New CD BOGO Deal Ends Sunday Night
04.18.17The Latest News from ApologetiX 4-18-17

X30: The Last "Stanned" (Two New Names for Keith)
Mon., May. 15. 2006 6:30pm EDT

As long-time ApologetiX fans know, our bass player, Keith Haynie, has gone through more identity changes in 10 years than Madonna, Bowie, and Cher in their combined careers. In fact, he almost makes Jennifer Garner's undercover-agent life on "Alias" look stable.

Like the shape-shifting Mystique of the X-Men flicks, the bass-gripping Keith of ApologetiX is a master of morphing, Oh, sure, he still looks the same as when he joined us over a decade ago, but his name keeps changing.

We're not talking about nicknames, either. For some reason, many people get Keith's first name wrong, yet he's rarely called by the same wrong name more than once.  This process is called "stanning," because it all started back in 1996 at a Waffle House in Georgia, when a waitress mistakenly called him "Stan." Since then, in about the same amount of time it took to get from Sean Combs to Puff Daddy to P. Diddy, Keith has gone acquired 27 new first names.

This weekend, he added two more, bringing his grand total of first names up to 30, counting his given name, even though people rarely seem to call him that! Here's how the latest episodes of nomenclature transpired:

The first new naming occurred before our flight from Pittsburgh to Dallas the morning of May 12: "Coming through TSA," Keith recounts, "the guy was looking right at my boarding pass. My name is right there in black and green. He handed it right to me and said, 'There you go, Ken!'"

Greg Micher, who came along to California as our roadie and sound man, was eyewitness to the second Keith renaming, on May 13 before our concert in La Quinta. "I introduced myself to one of the guys in charge at the church. He said, 'You're Greg with a G.' I said, 'Yes.' He pointed at Keith (whom he'd already met) and said, 'That's Craig with a C.?'"

Although he'd heard the lore before, Greg was delighted to see Keith get "stanned" firsthand. Here is the documented progression and origin of the names in chronological order:

Stan (Waffle House in Georgia – 1996)
Ted (Ohio – 1997)
Gary (Bradford PA – 1998)
Stu (Lock Haven PA – 1999)
Curly (McDonald's in Ohio or Indiana – 1999)
Kevin (on the job in Pennsylvania by a thankful customer – 1999)
Baby (all-night diner in Reading PA – 1999)
Kenny (Denny's in Albany NY – 1999)
Rich (church in Donora PA – 1999)
Speedo (church in Donora PA – by a pastor – 1999)
Lee (concert in Houston TX – 2000)
Mr. Galparin (airplane on Texas trip – 2000)
John Crawford (I can't remember where but it happened – 2000)
Brian (concert in Kansas – 2000)
Frank (I can't remember where, but it happened – 2000)
Sean (concert in Austin TX – 2001)
Mark (concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Omar (same concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Cliff (photographer who took publicity shots – 2001)
Ryan (member of Poor Baker's Dozen called him that at a concert in Minnesota – 2001)
Ed (some lady said this to Keith's wife, Krista, in October 3 2001)
Kent (Mickey Hall in Oklahoma July 2002, according to her husband, Tom)
Heath (lady at hotel desk in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Pete (concert promoter in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Brad (DJ Dave Purin at the WJLU in Daytona/Port Orange FL - September 2003)
Naynie (stage plot in Colorado Springs CO - August 2005)
Kelly (person at Bismarck ND concert - December 2005)
Jeff (lady at his church in a Christmas card - December 2005)
Ken (TSA guy at the Pittsburgh Airport - May 2006)
Craig (concert helper in La Quinta CA - May 2006)

Remember:  We don't count it if somebody TRIES to give Keith a new name.  The beauty of this list of names is that they were names used by people who unintentionally got Keith's name wrong. No cheating!