Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums
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as of June 26, 2017

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06.26.17New CD in Stock, Buy 1 Get 1 of 28 Titles Free
06.23.17How to Donate Online or By Mail
06.23.17USB Thumb Drives Back in Stock
06.23.17Send Us Your Video for the 25th Anniversary Show
06.23.17What Songs Are on Our New CD, Zebraic?
06.23.17New CD in Stock, Buy 1 Get 1 of 28 Titles Free
06.23.17New Single Spoofs 'Til Tuesday & REM
06.19.17New Single is Here, New CD is Almost Here
06.19.17Get Multiple Downloads for Any Size Donation
06.17.17ApologetiX: That Christian Wedding Band?
06.17.17Clues for Sunday Night's Single
06.15.17Fans from 28 States Coming to 25th Anniversary Show
06.09.17New Single Spoofs Two American Bands
06.09.17Norway to Heaven: Fan Mail from Scandinavia
06.09.17An Edifying Email from a Delaware DJ
06.09.17Get a Custom ApX Lapel Pin
06.09.17The Title and Theme of Our Upcoming 48th CD
06.02.17Prayers for ApX at the Wailing Wall in Israel
06.02.17Ohio Man Says ApX Show Was a High Point in His Life
06.02.17Clues for Our Upcoming Single
05.30.17ApologetiX Needs Summer Help and Prayer
05.26.17Fan Mail from a Science Teacher in MI
05.23.17New Single is a Sequel: Poisonous Scorpions Vol. 2
05.20.17Keith Haynie Returns from Nashville, Rumors Abound
05.20.17Seats Filling Fast for 25th Anniversary Show in August
05.20.17Clues for Our Next Single
05.18.17Custom ApX Lapel Pins Available
05.15.17Autographed CD Sale Ends Tuesday
05.12.17New Single is Our Most Creative Ever
05.12.177 Autographed CDs (Ends Tuesday)
05.12.1710 Little Opinions: Brief Notes from Fans All Over
05.12.17Happy Birthday, Moose!
05.08.17Get Multiple Downloads for Any Size Donation
05.05.17Clues for Our Next Single
05.05.17Some Scriptural Thoughts About Cinco de Mayo
05.05.17Clues for Our Next Single
04.28.17Bible Quizzers Celebrate with ApX Victory Song
04.28.17How About New Shirts and a New DVD?
04.28.17New Single Spoofs Van Halen & Loverboy
04.24.17New Single Spoofs 2 Bands That Epitomized the 80's
04.22.17New Zealand Fan Listens to ApX Several Hours a Day
04.22.17ApX as Big in Japan as in the United States
04.21.17Clues for This Weekend's Single
04.21.17New CD BOGO Deal Ends Sunday Night
04.18.17The Latest News from ApologetiX 4-18-17
04.14.17More ApologetiX Easter Videos on YouTube
04.14.17Prayer Request for Longtime Fan in Alabama
04.11.17New Single Spoofs 70s & 80s
04.05.17Happy Birthday, Jimmy "Vegas" Tanner
04.05.17Clue for Replacement Song on Next Single
04.05.17ApX Plays Moon, Venus, and Mars
04.03.17Why Does ApologetiX Need Help Now?
03.30.17What Songs Are on the New CD, Very Vicarious?
03.30.17Air India: ApX Interviewed by Radio One India
03.30.17Come to Our 25th Anniversary Show in August
03.30.17Clues for Sunday Night's Single
03.27.17New CD in Stock, ApX 25th Anniversary Today
03.24.17Moose Music: Rieger Releases Solo Project
03.21.17New Single Spoofs 70s & 90s
03.21.17What Songs Are on the New CD, Very Vicarious?
03.17.17Australian Fan Encouraged by ApX Song
03.17.17Clues for This Weekend's Single
03.16.17ApX Fan Battles Pancreatic Cancer
03.16.17Apolo-Vet-iX: Dog's Doc Digs ApX
03.09.17"1000 Tracks for 100 Bucks" Ends Sunday
03.09.17The Title and Theme of Our Upcoming 47th CD
03.09.17Jewish Believer in Wyoming is a New ApX Fan
03.09.17ApX Supplies Soundtrack for Sunday Shift
03.07.17Bill "Moose" Rieger Set to Release New CD
03.06.17New Single Spoofs the Swingin' 60's
03.04.17ApX Fan Moving to Nepal for Missions
03.04.17Good News from Peewee Valley KY
03.04.17ApX Singer Does Radio Interview in Clearwater FL
03.04.17Todd Waites Back in States from Nicaragua
03.04.17Clues for Sunday Night's Single
02.22.17Amazing Terry Bradshaw Football Card Testimony
02.22.17Longtime TX Fan Takes ApX with Him to OK
02.22.17Pardon Me, Boy, Was That the Chattanooga New Two?
02.22.17New Single Spoofs Foreigner & Spin Doctors
02.22.17Fan Will Match Your Donations Through Tuesday
02.20.17New Single, Lapel Pins & More
02.16.17From Longtime Fans in California & Alaska
02.16.17From a New Fan in Missouri
02.16.17Virginia Fan Likes Latest CD and Fan Testimonies
02.16.17Clues for Our Next Single
02.16.17Prayer Request for Fan's Mother
02.13.17We Need Help But We Have a Gift For Our Helpers
02.09.17California Fan Echoes Our Sentiments
02.08.17New Single Spoofs Classic Rockers & New Wavers
02.08.17Who Says Pittsburghers Can't Be Oilers Fans?
02.08.17From a New Fan in Florida
02.08.17Missionary Wears ApX Shirt in Nine Nations
02.06.17New Single (70s & 80s), New USBs, 1000 Tracks Deal
02.01.17Clues for Our Next Single
02.01.17ApX "Sirens" Video Impacts Cleveland Congregation
02.01.17Wyoming Woman Uses Us for Sunday School
02.01.17Fan Has Message for Other ApX Fans
01.25.17ApX Keyboardist Becomes a Grandfather
01.25.17Sharing ApX (and the Gospel) on the Job in Oregon
01.25.17"Alexa, Play ApologetiX"

X30: The Last "Stanned" (Two New Names for Keith)
Mon., May. 15. 2006 6:30pm EDT

As long-time ApologetiX fans know, our bass player, Keith Haynie, has gone through more identity changes in 10 years than Madonna, Bowie, and Cher in their combined careers. In fact, he almost makes Jennifer Garner's undercover-agent life on "Alias" look stable.

Like the shape-shifting Mystique of the X-Men flicks, the bass-gripping Keith of ApologetiX is a master of morphing, Oh, sure, he still looks the same as when he joined us over a decade ago, but his name keeps changing.

We're not talking about nicknames, either. For some reason, many people get Keith's first name wrong, yet he's rarely called by the same wrong name more than once.  This process is called "stanning," because it all started back in 1996 at a Waffle House in Georgia, when a waitress mistakenly called him "Stan." Since then, in about the same amount of time it took to get from Sean Combs to Puff Daddy to P. Diddy, Keith has gone acquired 27 new first names.

This weekend, he added two more, bringing his grand total of first names up to 30, counting his given name, even though people rarely seem to call him that! Here's how the latest episodes of nomenclature transpired:

The first new naming occurred before our flight from Pittsburgh to Dallas the morning of May 12: "Coming through TSA," Keith recounts, "the guy was looking right at my boarding pass. My name is right there in black and green. He handed it right to me and said, 'There you go, Ken!'"

Greg Micher, who came along to California as our roadie and sound man, was eyewitness to the second Keith renaming, on May 13 before our concert in La Quinta. "I introduced myself to one of the guys in charge at the church. He said, 'You're Greg with a G.' I said, 'Yes.' He pointed at Keith (whom he'd already met) and said, 'That's Craig with a C.?'"

Although he'd heard the lore before, Greg was delighted to see Keith get "stanned" firsthand. Here is the documented progression and origin of the names in chronological order:

Stan (Waffle House in Georgia – 1996)
Ted (Ohio – 1997)
Gary (Bradford PA – 1998)
Stu (Lock Haven PA – 1999)
Curly (McDonald's in Ohio or Indiana – 1999)
Kevin (on the job in Pennsylvania by a thankful customer – 1999)
Baby (all-night diner in Reading PA – 1999)
Kenny (Denny's in Albany NY – 1999)
Rich (church in Donora PA – 1999)
Speedo (church in Donora PA – by a pastor – 1999)
Lee (concert in Houston TX – 2000)
Mr. Galparin (airplane on Texas trip – 2000)
John Crawford (I can't remember where but it happened – 2000)
Brian (concert in Kansas – 2000)
Frank (I can't remember where, but it happened – 2000)
Sean (concert in Austin TX – 2001)
Mark (concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Omar (same concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Cliff (photographer who took publicity shots – 2001)
Ryan (member of Poor Baker's Dozen called him that at a concert in Minnesota – 2001)
Ed (some lady said this to Keith's wife, Krista, in October 3 2001)
Kent (Mickey Hall in Oklahoma July 2002, according to her husband, Tom)
Heath (lady at hotel desk in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Pete (concert promoter in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Brad (DJ Dave Purin at the WJLU in Daytona/Port Orange FL - September 2003)
Naynie (stage plot in Colorado Springs CO - August 2005)
Kelly (person at Bismarck ND concert - December 2005)
Jeff (lady at his church in a Christmas card - December 2005)
Ken (TSA guy at the Pittsburgh Airport - May 2006)
Craig (concert helper in La Quinta CA - May 2006)

Remember:  We don't count it if somebody TRIES to give Keith a new name.  The beauty of this list of names is that they were names used by people who unintentionally got Keith's name wrong. No cheating!