Van Ailin' II: Atomic Puns
Mon., May. 29. 2006 12:54pm EDT
We're glad to see we didn't lose too many of you with the "Van Ailin'" pun in last week's newsletter headline. Of course, unless you're a Van Halen fan, you might miss much of the mirth in this email we received in response:
"You really got me" with your story about the van - seems like you boys have been "running with the devil" in that thing for far too long. Thank God that it's not "D.O.A." or "on fire". With the way those "fools" were boxing you in, you're lucky it wasn't "bottom's up" in a ditch somewhere! Surely you have angels watching over you, which prevented a total "loss of control". "Could this be magic?" - no, it was definitely providential hand of God. It didn't hurt that Mr. Tanner was driving - it's hard to "top Jimmy".
Now when it comes to money, "everybody wants some" (heck, I want some too!). But I really believe in your ministry, so I'll take the money I was saving for my trip to "Panama" and send it to you. Hopefully soon you will be able to "runaround" in a new van instead of one that is always "in 'n' out" of the garage. Sorry that it's "not enough" to buy a whole new van, but I'm fresh out of "big fat money."
"Happy Trails" to you!
John "316" LaCasella
P.S. I'm sure I didn't have to explain that everything in quotes were titles of Van Halen tunes. Somehow they seemed to fit!
Jenn "Superchick" Kipp also chimed in with:
I am just glad that you all survived the encounter with the "Mean Street" and the "Aftershock" of the engine's "Eruption." I'm sorry that it's turning out to be such a "Big Bad Bill," and you know that if I had "Big Fat Money" it'd go toward the repair fund--but remember, the ministry can survive without the van, but it'd never be the same "Without You." So I'll keep on traveling "From Afar" to see you guys as many "Summer Nights" as I can--thanks for every chance to "Dance the Night Away" like we all did this weekend.
Our lead guitarist/producer, Karl Messner, responds:
Ever since, we let the new guy up front, "We can't drive 55."
Our lead singer/lyricist J. Jackson adds:
"The alternative to the new guy would be even more "Extreme." Besides, with Jimmy doing double duty driving and drumming, we've got the "best of both worlds" "right now" with the drummer of our "dreams." so there's no need to say "I'll wait" for someone else to "jump" into the mix.
Sorry, John and Jenn, I'm not saying, "You're no good" or not "good enough" at Van Halen puns. But your puns "take me back" to my Van Halen days, and I figured the amount you used were just "not enough," and "I'm the one" to "finish what ya started." That shouldn't surprise you "when it's love" for wordplay like this that started us doing parodies in the first place.
Editor's Note: We apologize for all the Van Halen puns, but we did give you "Fair Warning." We're sure we'll "hear about it later."