Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums
as of January 22, 2021

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Yesterday's News:

01.21.21This Week's News Bulletin
01.21.21New CD Bogo Ends Sunday
01.18.21Songbook & Studio Update
01.17.21How to Donate & How to Get Multiple MP3s
01.17.21In Case You Didn't Know, There's a New Studio
01.17.21When Will the New Songbook be Ready?
01.17.21Bible Reading Update: Amos 1-Zechariah 12
01.15.21The Expanding Album Challenge: Week 36
01.10.21Some Bible Verses to Ponder
01.10.21The Expanding Album Challenge: Week 35
01.05.21News Bulletin: January 5, 2021
01.05.21New CD in Stock: Buy 1, Get 1 of 34 CDs Free
01.05.21New CD in Stock: Get 1 of 34 CDs Free
01.05.21Get Over 1350 Tracks for $100 This Week
01.02.21Links to Our Recent Newsletters
01.02.21New USBs Have All 61 CDs
01.01.21The Expanding Album Challenge: Week 34
12.26.20New CDs in Stock Tuesday (Buy 1, Get 1 of 34)
12.26.20More Encouraging Responses to Our Newsletters
12.26.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 33
12.26.20ApX Keyboardist Has Gifts for You (2 New Songs)
12.26.20More from Micah, ApX Alum on Amazon
12.22.20Get Multiple Downloads for One Donation
12.22.20This Week's News Bulletin: New USBs
12.19.20New CD BOGO & Other Updates
12.16.20This Week's Mini-Bulletin
12.11.20Enthusiastic Responses to Last Week's Newsletter
12.11.20New CD Coming in December
12.11.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 31
12.11.20 ApX Alum's Amazon Store Has Great Holiday Gifts
12.09.20Will There Be a Another CD?
12.04.20New Single & Other Updates
12.04.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Weeks 26-30
12.03.20In Case You Missed Our New Single
11.20.20ApX Episode 146 This Weekend
11.20.20Happy Belated Birthday, Rich!
11.06.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 26
11.06.20Band Members Celebrate Big-Time Anniversaries
11.06.20ApologetiX Needs Prayer and Help Now
10.29.20New Songbook Expected by End of Weekend
10.29.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 25
10.29.20New CD in Stock, BOGO Ends Sunday
10.26.20This Week's News Update: CD in Stock, BOGO Ends Sunday
10.22.20Bible Teacher Reacts to New Single
10.22.20The Stories Behind the Songs on Our New Single
10.22.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 24
10.22.20New USB Thumb Drives in Stock
10.19.20New Single: '74 & '79
10.17.20The Story Behind the Title of Our New CD
10.17.20What's on the Decent Alternative CD?
10.17.20Prayers for Jeff Pakula's Brother
10.16.20Clues for 2020 Single #18
10.15.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 23
10.12.20Weekly Email Update
10.09.20New ApX Digital Songbook Almost Ready
10.09.20New ApX CD Coming Soon
10.09.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 22
10.02.20The Stories Behind the Songs on the New Single
10.02.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 21
09.28.20New Single: '85 & '96
09.25.20Keith Haynie Is a Grandpa Again
09.25.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 20
09.18.20The Stories Behind the Songs on the New Single
09.18.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 19
09.18.20New Donor Will Match All Donations This Week
09.18.20New Single: '69 & '77
09.15.20New Single, Another Matching Donor
09.11.20Fans in Kansas Will Match Donations Thru Wed.
09.11.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 18
09.11.20New USBs on the Way
09.11.20ApX USBs Contain Complete Catalog
09.04.20The Stories Behind the Songs on the New Single
09.04.20How to Donate Online or by Mail
09.04.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 17
09.02.20New Single, 2 New Matching Donors
09.01.20New Single: 2 Groups We've Never Spoofed Before
08.31.20We Need Help but Fan Will Match Donations
08.28.20From a New Fan in Virginia
08.28.20ApX Reaching Kids in Canada
08.28.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 16
08.28.20Clues for 2020 Single #15
08.21.20Encouragement from FL, SD, TN, TX & VA
08.21.20Fan in Kenya Reacts to New Single
08.21.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 15
08.17.20New Single: East Coast 80's, West Coast 90's
08.14.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 14
08.13.20Clues for This Weekend's Single
08.11.20Weekly News Update
08.11.20New Video from Our 25th Anniversary Show
08.08.20Alphabetical ApologetiX IV: The Final Frontier
08.07.20The Stories Behind the Songs on Our New Single
08.07.20Get All of Our Parodies at Once on Download or USB
08.07.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 13
08.02.20New Single: Old Testament Ladies, 90's Style
07.30.20New CD BOGO Ends Friday
07.30.20He's Heard ApX Played on Five Continents
07.30.20ApX Lead Singer Interviewed on Philly Radio Show
07.30.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 12
07.30.20Wonderful Words from MI
07.30.20Touching Testimony from TX

ApologetiX: Last Email Before Christmas
Thu., Dec. 20. 2001 3:17pm EST

J. Jackson, lead singer for ApologetiX (That Christian Parody Band) here.

Merry Christmas! I'm telling you early, because I won't be in the office when the time comes around. We're going to my wife's parents in Kentucky early Friday morning and driving back Christmas Eve. Then we'll turn around and head for my sister's in Virginia for Christmas and the two days after that.

1. The Secret to Our Parody "Manger"
2. Christmas CD Orders (There's Still Time if You Order Now!)
3. Cracked CD Orders (Sold Out)
4. License Plate Order
5. Upcoming Concerts


O.K., you HAVE to hear this one! If you have our "Keep the Change" CD or our new Christmas CD, you know we do a parody called "Manger," which speculates on what might have been said by the person who pointed Mary and Joseph to the stable and the manger where Christ was born. The parody has proved to be enormously popular for us on the radio and in concert Howard Stern even played it on his show.

We have a little bit of fun with the imaginary main character in the song, and in concert, we go into great detail about how nobody knows who it was who finally hooked up Mary and Joseph with their lodging for the night. Well, this morning I found out who it was ... my daughter!

Janna is five years old and attends a local private pre-school called Eden Christian Academy. She loves it, and my wife, Lisa, and I are extremely impressed with all that she is learning both academically and spiritually. Well, this morning we were invited to come and see a brief play about the Christmas story put on by Janna's pre-school class.

In the play, there were actually three innkeepers. Since there was no vacancy in town, Joseph asked each innkeeper, one at a time, if they had a place for him to stay. The first two simply said "No." The third innkeeper took Mary and Joseph by the hand and led them to the stable. Guess who played that third innkeeper? Yes, it was our sweet little Janna, who just happened to be wearing the same robe that they had apparently used once before for the multi-colored coat of Joseph! God has a great sense of humor, doesn't he?


Thanks to all of you who ordered our Christmas CD, which we have titled "Have Yourself a Parody Little Christmas." We were overwhelmed by just how many of you ordered! My goodness! Most of the orders have been shipped already via Priority Mail (which takes two to three days to arrive just regular days, not business days, so if it's sent on Friday, three days later is actually Monday).

The balance of the orders will be shipped tomorrow (Thursday) via Priority Mail, so everybody who has ordered thus far should have their CDs by Monday, Christmas Eve, at the latest. The only exception would be if the U.S. Postal Service messes up. Priority Mail has served us very well over the years, though.

If you are planning on ordering a Christmas CD or multiple Christmas CDs, do it now. We are making an exception and allowing you to order now by e-mail and send payment by snail mail. Send your e-mail order to Please do not reply to this newsletter, because it will send your order to the wrong e-mail address. If you are ordering, you must send your order to Then print out your e-mail order form and send it to us with your check/money order.

If I receive your order by noon EST on Thursday, December 19, (That's probably TODAY by the time you're reading this), I promise we'll put it in the mail to you via Priority Mail the same day, so you should have it by Christmas Eve. If you send your e-mail after noon EST, December 19, I can't make any promises, but if you do place your order by 6 p.m. EST December 19, I may still be able to get it out to you. However, after 6 p.m. EST December 19, it will be almost impossible to get your order to you via Priority Mail the same day, so your order would be delayed another week.

Order must be made by check or money order payable to "ApologetiX" and sent to 1343 Davis Ave., Pittsburgh PA 15212-1977. Sorry, no credit cards on this one!

Cost is $10 per CD plus $5 shipping and handling for U.S. Priority Mail. No matter how many CDs you order, your shipping cost is only $5.

Simply print out this e-mail and fill out the form below and send it in along with your check/money order to the address at the bottom of the order form.



Please list the quantity in the blank space next to the title:


______ ApologetiX Christmas EP CD ($10 per CD)

x $10 Cost per CD

______ Sub-Total

+ $5 Shipping & Handling

______ TOTAL COST (please make checks/money orders payable to ApologetiX)





Please this order form to and then print the order form and send it along with your check or money order, to:

ApologetiX 1343 Davis Ave. Pittsburgh PA 15212-1977


1. "Micah No. 5" Parody of "Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega, a huge hit from 1999 ("A little bit of Monica in my life ...") Talks about the birth of Christ in Bethlehem. This is a really fun track, and one of our best parodies yet!

2. "Late December 5 or 6 B.C. (Oh Holy Night)" Parody of "December 1963 (Oh What a Night)" by the Four Seasons, a #1 hit in 1976 and a #8 hit in 1994 as a dance remix. Our version is the dance remix. Talks about the fact that we don't know when Christ's birth was (what month or year), but we DO know that He really was born, and we ought to celebrate Him every day!

3. "Santa Claus" Parody of "Panama" by Van Halen, a big hit in 1984, and an FM rock staple to this day. Starts with a kid who thinks Christmas is all about Santa Claus and then focuses on the real Reason for the season.

4. "Hotel Can't Afford Ya" (ALL-NEW VERSION) Parody of "Hotel California" by the Eagles. Same words as before, but totally re-recorded with new instrumentation, new vocals and some extra stuff you've never heard before! This is the way we WISHED we could have done it back when we recorded "Jesus Christ Morningstar" in 1998. If you liked the first version, you'll LOVE this version!

5. "Manger" Parody of "Angel" by Shaggy with Rayvon. Same version as the one on "Keep the Change," but we wanted to give you all of the Christmas songs on one CD!

6. "Christmasnite" Parody of "Kryptonite" by Three Doors Down. Same version as the one on "Keep the Change," but no ApologetiX Christmas CD is complete without this one!

This is a special mail-order offer we are making available only to our e-mail newsletter subscribers and their friends and family. It's not available through stores or the website. Because this is a limited-edition CD that we are rush-releasing for Christmas, there is no CD booklet. However, the CD has a classy full-size full-color label (like the radio promos we did for "Keep the Change," which are fancier than the actual CD), so it looks attractive (Karl designed it, and he designed Spoofernatural and Keep the Change) in the jewel case and/or in your CD binder! This will also make it easy to identify your CD as part of a limited edition. It's actually more expensive for us to do these limited-run CDs than it is to mass produce CDs, but we don't have time to mass produce them and we really wanted to get these songs into your hands for this Christmas!


Thanks to all of you who ordered from our supply of $7 cracked autographed CDs. You cleaned us out! However, we will still honor any orders that are postmarked by Wednesday, December
18. Those orders will still receive an autographed CD of the title(s) and quantity you ordered. All mail orders we receive by Thursday, December 19, will be sent Priority Mail to get it to you in time for Christmas. If the orders are received after December 19, we will not be able to process them in time for Christmas.


Although we didn't promise that we'd be able to get the ApologetiX license plates done in time for Christmas, some of you may still be hoping for that. Those are done one at a time for us by an outside vendor who orders the plates for particular states as they come in, so I still can't make any promises about that. I do know that the vendor is shipping them directly to you via Priority Mail, though. If you have questions about the status of your license plate order, please e-mail Karl Messner at


Sun., Dec. 30, 2001 at 7:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m.
Toronto 2001
NE Area Wesleyan Youth Convention
Sheraton Hotel
123 Queen St.
West Toronto, Ont. Canada
Contact: Rob MacCallum

Mon., Dec. 31 at 6 p.m.
Koinonia Fellowship Church
500 Main Street E.
Rochester NY 14445
Admission: Free
Contact: Samme Palermo 716-385-0450

Sat., Jan. 19, 2002 at 7:00 p.m.
Fifteenth Anniversary Celebration
KNGM Radio
Flint Hills Christian Church
1836 US Hwy 50
Emporia KS 66801
Contact: Steve Pearson, KNGM 620-343-9292

Sat., Jan. 26, 2002 at 8 p.m.
Trinity Lutheran Church
501 Stewart Ave.
Wausau WI 54401
Contact: Glen Dawersk 715-843-7023

Sat., Feb. 23, 2002 (Two Shows) 6:30-8:00 p.m. 8:45-10:15 p.m.
Cup O' Joy Coffee House
232 South Broadway
Green Bay, WI
Contact: Jan Oettinger Cup Phone (open hours only): 920-435-3269
Jan's phone: 920-437-6694

Sun., Feb. 24, 2002 at 5 p.m.
First Baptist Church
1109 E. Columbus St.
Martinsville IN 46151
Admission: Free
Contact: Rick Hoffman 716-385-0450

God bless us all ... everyone!


-- J. Jackson Lead Singer/Lyricist ApologetiX (That Christian Parody Band)

Micah 5:2
"But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times."