Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on "Adam Up" (2003)?

Here's what's on "Adam Up":

1. We're in a Parody Band ("We're an American Band" by Grand Funk Railroad)
2. Lifestyles of the Rich & Nameless ("Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous by Good
Charlotte)
3. Boy Tell the World ("Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night)
4. Choose Your Daddy ("Who's Your Daddy?" by Toby Keith)
5. Meshach ("Love Shack" by the B-52's)
6. I'm Gonna Feed (500 Mouths) ("I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by the Proclaimers)
7. Get Found Tonight ("Get Down Tonight" by K.C. & the Sunshine Band)
8. Look Yourself ("Lose Yourself" by Eminem)
9. Should I Pray or Should I Go ("Should I Stay or Should I Go" by the Clash)
10. The Spittle ("The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World)
11. Sweet Oholibamah ("Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd)
12. It's Not Eden ("Superman (It's Not Easy)" by Five For Fighting)
13. Listening After Midnight ("Living After Midnight" by Judas Priest)
14. Psum 14 ("Fat Lip" by Sum 41)
15. The Word ("Grease" by Frankie Valli)
16. Wherever You Will Sow ("Wherever You Will Go" by the Calling)
17. Wake Up Talitha Cumi ("Wake Up Little Susie" by the Everly Brothers)
18. Guide the Way ("By the Way" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers)
19. Little-Read Bible Book ("Li'l Red Riding Hood" by Sam the Sham & the
Pharaohs)
20. Downer of a Sister ("Chop Suey" by System of a Down)
21. Lazy Brain ("Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne)
22. Called My Wife ("All My Life" by the Foo Fighters)



LYRICS

We're in a Parody Band
Parody of "We're an American Band" performed by Grand Funk Railroad and written by Don Brewer
(Proverbs 17:22, 1 Corinthians 1:27, 9:22; 1 Peter 3:15; Romans 12:2)

I went and wrote some parodies
Karl tried a little rock, put me on a stage
Keith sleeps comedy, we threw him in the act
Bill adds some more soul and has a knack for chat
We're all four guys with many dreams
But God can help you focus these things
Music lyrics we rewrite
As long as we can take a tune and show the light
We're in a parody band
We're here to share with the fans
We've got a two-part style
We'll tell you part's Weird Al
The other part's Billy Graham
Four Aquafinas and soda pop
We're waiting for the van to return from the shop
Philadelphia late at night its battery died
The hotel we slept in it was highly priced
Now seeing as I'm waiting, I have a plan
Would you like to meet the boys in the band
I'm J. Karl's the dude with the guitar on
And we've got Keith on the bass and Bill on drums
We're in a parody band
We're in a terrible van
We're comin' to your town
And if your car breaks down
We're good Samaritans, man
We're in a parody band
The Bible's there in your hand
You're thumbin' through yours now
We'll help you start it out
With a one-year reading plan
We're in a parody band
We're into prayer and defense
We're from a two-sport town
Three if the Pirates count
It's just so rare that we win
We're in a parody band
We're at a charity dance
We're only two doors down
We know it's Shark Week now
But please come there if you can
We're in a parody band whoo!
We're in Bob Flaherty's band whoo!
Will this hilarity end whoo!

Proverbs 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.


Lifestyles of the Rich & Nameless
Parody of "Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous" performed by Good Charlotte and written by Benji Madden & Joel Madden
(Luke 12:16-21, 16:19-31, 18:18-30; 1 Timothy 6:6-10; Matthew 6:19-21, 19:16-30; Mark 10:17-30; Proverbs 16:8, 22:1; John 12:8; Galatians 2:10; James 2:5-6, 15-17)

I know a scene you ought to see
I read it in Luke 16
So let me be I wanna set the scene
A wealthy dude his name's unknown inside his sprawling home
Stuffing his mouth with that life of ease
While Lazarus is thin and weak, down the driveway on the street
I don't think he will survive
If he could get that nameless dude to feed him some leftover food
He'd take the crumbs now as they'd fall, if they would fall
Lifestyles of the rich and the nameless
The solid gold bracelets don't make you blameless
His money is not the problem
He forgot Lazarus; Think Jesus saw them
Did you know the rich and nameless dude eventually died
And when he woke up things were on the fiery side
With Lazarus across the chasm and Abraham talked to him
He said, "You know it's really hot in here, my throat is cracked
Send Lazarus to me, O Father Abraham
He can always just run some water down to me"
"I'd like to help you get a drink," Abraham said, "Honestly,
I don't think that would suffice
But he's already paid his dues
Now he is somewhere else than you
You think that's someone else's fault? Maybe not"
Lifestyles of the rich and the nameless
They're always so shameless
God plays no favorites
It's funny yet such a shocker
How he demanded, "Bring me some water!"
Lifestyles of the rich and the nameless
The one with no status God made so famous
It's funny to watch the process
Because somebody prosperous He made anonymous
Lifestyles of the rich and the nameless
Designer clothes get spots and holes; Let's shop at Payless
Lifestyles of the rich and nameless
Lights out for the rich and nameless
Find out what 2:16 James says

Luke 16:19-21
"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores."


Boy Tell the World
Parody of "Joy to the World" performed by Three Dog Night and written by Hoyt Axton
(Jeremiah 32:12-16, 36:4-32, 43:1-7, 45:1-5)

Jeremiah loved the true God
Was a good friend of mine
I never edited a single word he said
But I helped him ink his lines
And he always had me write 'em down twice, singin'
Boy, tell the world
All my voice unfurls now
Boy, tell them visions that they need to see
Going to you from me
If I were the king in the wall
I'll tell you what I'd do
I'd throw away the false little gods, end the war
And make peace it's up to you (Sing it now)
Boy, tell the world
Ah, they're going to quarrel now
Boy, tell them issues that they need to see
Boy, it's you and me
You know I'm not courageous
I'd love to have more fire
I'm no high-priced scribe or
Any paid ghost writer
My name's Baruch, the son of Neriah
The main dude it was Jeremiah
Boy, tell the world
Ah, the choice is theirs now
Boy, tell them this is it, believe you me
Boy, it's true indeed

Jeremiah 36:4
So Jeremiah called Baruch son of Neriah, and while Jeremiah dictated all the words the LORD had spoken to him, Baruch wrote them on the scroll.


Choose Your Daddy
Parody of "Who's Your Daddy?" performed and written by Toby Keith
(John 5:17-23, 6:44, 8:19, 8:38-59; Luke 16:13-15)

Well, here He comes knockin' on your side door baby
Yeah, the Son of God's on your side
I guess He called ya but ya'll weren't home for the hundredth time
Yeah, you look in Christ's Book right after Luke in John 8:1 through 59
It ain't so hard to find
The place He said you're either in the faith or sons of Belial
You read on, it's really tough to debate it
Don't you get it?
Yeah, I think He's waiting in the sky for you
You know, our Father up in Heaven
Choose your daddy, choose your savior
Choose somebody who's your friend
And choose the one God who you'll come runnin' to
When all the world's lies start crumblin'
Your god's your money, but God the Son, He
Says come to me; get saved from sin
Choose your daddy who's your faith in?
Is it God or is it mammon?
You either belong to God above or to Satan
Which is it? Well, don't you get it?
If you wait then Satan decides for you
You know you gotta become repentant
Choose your daddy, choose your savior
Choose somebody, yeah, who's your friend
And choose the one God that you'll come runnin' to
Yeah, when the world's lies start crumblin'
He's God Almighty; just say, "Alrighty
Let's make it real the way You planned"
Choose your daddy who's your faith in?
Is it God or is it man?
Choose your daddy Luke 16 says
It's in God or it's in mammon

John 8:42
Jesus said to them, "If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and now am here. I have not come on my own; but he sent me."


Meshach
Parody of "Love Shack" performed by the B-52's and written by Frederick Schneider, Catherine Pierson, Keith Strickland & Cindy Wilson
(Daniel 1:7, 3:1-30; 1 Peter 4:12-13)

Hey, there's three real famous guys in the Bible you know
And the in-between guy's name is Meee-shach!
Meschach, yeah, yeah
I read about them in Daniel one day
Look in chapter 1:7 babe
And then you can go get their names
They got treated harsh by the king of the world (go get their names)
When they didn't bow down to his gold statue (go get their names)
They got in a crisis and just about perished from burnin' up
Hey, king, your joke's not funny
Well-a Meshach was an Israelite faced with
Mean King Neb'chadnezzar
Meshach, baby ah Meshach baby
Meshach, baby, Shadrach, Meshach, baby, Shadrach
Ah, babe, Abednego's last
Simon says, kneel and pray fools
You must do as the law says!
Well, sittin' way back in the middle of a field
There's a 90-foot statue; ya gotta pray to that
Glitter on the statue didn't make the guys pray
Even if they got scorched, they would trust in Yahweh
Well-a Meshach was an Israelite faced with
Mean King Neb'chadnezzar
Meshach, baby Meshach baby
Meshach Neb'chadnezzar's mad
Meshach's no scaredy cat
Huffin' and a hissin' guess he wasn't bluffin'
Nebuchadnezzar shoved 'em in the hottest of ovens
But hold on kiddies
Cause everybody's movin' around and around and around and around
Nebby got confused and said, "I thought we threw them in with
Ropes tied 'em up now guys how'd they get out?
There's four bodies movin' there's another dude in there and
Come here, Meschach want you to come back!"
Often a crisis looks as big as a whale and you're about to get nailed
But God isn't far, He sees you now buddy
So come on and pray you're cool, stop running
CHORUS
Wait, wait, wait on the Lord, baby! Talk a little louder soldier
Wait, wait, wait on the Lord baby! I can't hear you!
Wait, wait! On the Lord, baby! Wait, wait! On the Lord!
Wait, wait! On the Lord, baby! Batman!
Girls, what?!! Same tune trust me
Meshach, baby, Shadrach (Ah, baby, trustworthy chaps, yeah)
Meshach, baby, Shadrach (Ah, baby, trustworthy chaps)
(Hope you learned a lesson standin' in the oven with a-Meshach)

Daniel 3:26
Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, "Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!" So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire ...


I'm Gonna Feed (500 Mouths)
Parody of "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" performed by the Proclaimers and written by Charles Reid & Craig Reid
(Matthew 14:13-21; Mark 6:30-44; Luke 9:10-17; John 6:1-15)

When I bake stuff with the dough I'm gonna knead
I'm gonna be the man who makes some bread for you
When I go out in a boat upon the sea
I'm gonna need a net and row a long way too
If I catch some fish that float under the deep
I'm gonna be the man who gets some fish for you
And if there's flavor, yeah, I know I'm gonna eat
I'm gonna eat some and I'll save the rest for you
And I have watched five hungry mouths
And I have watched 500 more
But I've seen a man who fed 5000 mouths at once
And that's the Lord
Well, I watched Him, yes, I know what I have seen
He was a teacher man who taught the whole day through
With so many comin' forth to watch that dude
It would cost someone every penny just for food
"Send 'em all home, Lord, you know they gotta eat"
They told the teacher man, who said, "That's up to you
And with five loaves and two fish from Galilee
I'm gonna feed 'em and they're goin' home renewed."
CHORUS
Have another (Have another) Pass the butter (Pass the butter)
Da da da dum de de dum da lum de de lum da da
Have some water (Have some water) Pass the tartar (Pass the tartar)
Da da da dum de de dum da lum de de lum da da
Well, I'm only telling only what I've seen
But when the teacher man was done they sent out food
And men were eating, well, I know they got a treat
They got a treat about the size of Timbuktu
Well, I've no doubt that in Luke 9:17
You're gonna read it and suppose the number's skewed
But in the front row, don't you know I had a seat
I saw at least 12 baskets of leftover food
I got a "B" in math, so, son, I know it's true
CHORUS
Had a tough crowd (Had a tough crowd)
Fattened up now (Fattened up now)
Grab a rough count (Grab a rough count)
Add 'em up now (Add 'em up now)
Ya da la ta la ta la da la la la
Gather up now (Gather up now)
Every crust now (Every crust now)
Ya da la ta la ta la da la la la
Gavin McLeod (Gavin McLeod)
From "The Love Boat" (From "The Love Boat")
Yeah I know that line's kind of dumb my mind's kind of numb right now
CHORUS

Luke 9:17
They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.


Get Found Tonight
Parody of "Get Down Tonight" performed by K.C. & the Sunshine Band and written by Harry Wayne Casey & Richard Finch
(Matthew 18:12-13; Luke 15:4-6)


Baby, baby, let's get the Shepherd
Honey, hon, He's seeking you
In Luke 15, ah, do ya think that we'd lie to you?
Are you a little lamb? Maybe a little lost?
Get found tonight! Get found tonight
You a little lamb? Maybe a little lost?
Get found tonight! Get found tonight
Baby, baby, He'll meet you
Name the place, name the time
When sheep have left the pasture
He'll leave the 99
CHORUS
Matthew 18, uh-huh, I like it Matthew 18, uh-huh, I like it
Sheep, sheep, sheep Shepherd's looking, Shepherd's looking
Sheep, sheep, sheep Shepherd's looking, Shepherd's looking
Are you looking man, are you looking man, turn to God
Are you looking man, are you looking man, you must be lost!
Sheep, He's coming now, Sheep, He's coming now
Don't stop Him now, He'll stop at nothing
Sheep, don't go!

Matthew 18:12-13
"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off."


Look Yourself
Parody of "Lose Yourself" performed by Eminem and written by M. Mathers, J. Bass & L. Resto
(Matthew 13:57; Mark 6; John 4:44; Romans 3:10, 3:23, 5:8, 6:23, 8:1, 10:9, 10:13; 1 Corinthians 1:18, 3:19; James 1:23-25)

Look, if you have one God
And one offer of eternity
That exceeds everything you've ever wanted
With one opponent
Would you ask for it?
Or just let it slip? Yo
He parks his Chevy, needs sleep, heart is heavy
He's thought about repentin' already, sun is setting
This church is not having service it looks almost dead as he
Drops by but they keep on the electric
What a ghost town, he knelt down, don't know how
He opens his mouth just the word "Help" comes out
He's broken down, yet his heart is open now
The lost one's found, winds up homeward bound
Heads back to his family Look who's home, daddy
And, look, he's so happy, he chose his own path but he
Won't give up babbling, he broke his old habits they
Don't seem so bad to me, hope it's some fad
Like new Coke or Shaun Cassidy
Don't need no radical holy-rollin' masochist quotin' old passages
That's what'll happen then, though, he'll go fanatic-y
Better go batten the hatches and hope it don't last
You'd better look yourself in the mirror
You know that you wanted to get to Heaven when you're old
Do you really want God or not? Is it yes or no?
It's awful soon you say, but what is the right time?
You'd better look yourself in the book since you own it
In Romans, you never read it yet I know
You only get one shot to God, here's your chance to know
His offer to you may come once in your lifetime
His soul's been saved even though his whole family's gaping
This world is blinded by Satan they can't see
As he moves forward it's true George Orwell
The moral of the story is truth's ignored, emotion's most important
He'll only cause problems, the Holy Ghost got him
He blows him all over, he knows the call's on him
Goes to go show his bros at his Alma Mater, "Welcome Back, Kotter"
They know he's just one of their own, so don't bother
Said, "Go home you barely know the Our Father"
Well hold the phones cause he knows it holds water
If those don't want him no more he'll go farther
And he moved on and he read the Romans Road till he knows it cold and shows others
He's on his soap box and his tone becomes bold, I suppose he's no martyr
But the weak grows strong and the dumb becomes smarter
CHORUS
No more names, I've been changed, but you call it strange
To tell my mother 'n father truth off the true God's page
I was saying if you've been sinning pursue God's grace
I've been shooed off and spit at like Rudolph the Reindeer
But I kept shinin' a lamplight that I can't stifle
You best believe somebody paid for my revival
Call the name of Christ and go find a Bible
Fact is I can't deny that I'm liable
To die if my plans collide with life's iceberg
Like the Titanic 'cause man needs God and you can't go buy a lifeboat
And it's no movie; there's no surprise survivors
This is high tide and you're tryin' to row hard
And you're hittin' deeper waters tryin' to flee piranhas I see
Plus seaweed's got ya caught up between PBJ Otter and Bikini Bottom
Babe it's not a submarine you're on and you must believe the Son
He'll save you on the spot, He's comin' ready or not
I've got to be to the point just like a nail on the cross
I formerly was lost, horrendously frail and fraught
With questions I know how Mother Hubbard's dog felt famine, drought
Mom, I love you but this world has got to know
I cannot grow cold when Hell is hot
So please don't go into shock
Let the family talk
This way is their only opportunity to find God
CHORUS
You can do anything if He gets inside you, man

James1:23-24
Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.



Should I Pray or Should I Go?
Parody of "Should I Stay or Should I Go" performed and written by the Clash
(Exodus 14:15; Matthew 28:19-20; Romans 10:14-15, 15:20-21)

Calling on God to let me know, should I pray or should I go?
If You say that You don't mind, I'll be here till You send a sign
So Your Gospel gets to grow in the neighborhood I know
If all of us leave to preach and teach
You'll have no one left on their knees
I'd say it's fine to just stay back
Though if You want me, I'll go pack
Well, come on, not Mexico there's no Spanish words I know
Should I pray or should I go now?
Should I pray or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble; the missionaries there may double
And it's crowded as we know
This Indian mission's buggin' me
(Greece, Indonesia, Malta, Malaysia)
They say they want me desperately
(Mongolia, Philippines, Albania)
Is that the food I'm s'posed to eat?
(India, Uzbekistan, Pakistan)
Don't You need mission trips to Italy?
(Afghanistan, Kazakhstan)
Don't want no vegetables
(Turkmenistan,Tajikistan)
Shouldn't I go with the food I know
(Saudi Arabia, Bangladesh)
(Guinea-Bissau, Benin, Gibraltar)
(Cambodia, Vietnam, Somalia)
(Ethiopia, Egypt, Sudan, Libya)
(Tibet, Sri Lanka, Azerbijan)
(Western Sahara, Macau, Lebanon)
(Qatar, Nepal, East Timor, Burma)
(UAE, Maldives, Gaza Strip)
Should I pray or should I go now?
(Laos, Nigeria, Niger, Mali)
Should I pray or should I go now?
(Israel, Syria, Thailand, Guinea)
If I go rebuild their rubble
(Senegal, Portugal, Djibouti)
Can't lift a spade or wield a shovel
(Bahrain, Algeria, China, Turkey)
So You gotta let me know
(Iran, Oman, Yemen, Morocco)
Should I mail in the check I wrote?
(Bhutan, Japan, Burkina Faso)
Should I pray or should I go now?
(Cyprus, Brunei, both Koreas)
If I go I'll break my bubble
(Mauritania, Iraq, Tunisia)
And if I stay I will be cuddled
(Kyrgyzstan, Kuwait, Gambia)
So tomorrow let me know
(Taiwan, Jordan, Eritrea)
Should I pray or should I go?
(Chad)

Exodus 14:15
Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on."


The Spittle
Parody of "The Middle" performed and written by Jimmy Eat World
(John 9:5-7; Mark 7:32-34, 8:22-24)

Hey, don't write your songs 'bout spit
It's only in your head to fill your mouth well, look out, Mom
The Bible says Christ healed a sightless man
With only dirt and spit He twirled Himself He cured this way
He just takes some grime, lets it swirl in the spittle
Rubs his eyes with it and then the man could see just fine
Cause he left everything to Jesus Christ in John 9
Hey, you know this song is strange
I know you're droolin' at the thought of more (thought of more) I know I am
So get a Bible out and just brace yourself
Because in chapter eight the book of Mark (book of Mark) there's somewhere else
He just takes some blind little-known individual
Rubs his eyes with His spit, then He says, "Are you all right?"
Then the man said it looked like trees oh my! Hold tight!
It just takes two times didn't have to double-dribble
Touched the guy just once again and he could see just fine
Yes and the medicine was real saliva, no lie
Hey, don't write this song off yet
There's one more incident that we left out (we left out) so look that up
This dude was deaf (both mute and deaf)
Christ put his fingers in (He put his fingers in)
And don't you worry 'bout the spitting part (spitting part) I'm gonna say
He just takes saliva yeah, the Lord spit a little
Then applied it to the deaf man's tongue and Jesus sighed
And said "Ephphatha" and his ears were quite all right
So just take some time in the Word, read a little
Of the Bible Mark chapter 7's where you'll meet the guy
Then read the rest of it you'll see the light

John 9:6
Having said this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man's eyes.


Sweet Oholibamah
Parody of "Sweet Home Alabama" performed by Lynyrd Skynyrd and written by Ed King, Gary Rossington & Ronnie Van Zant
(Genesis 26:34, 27:46-28:9, 36:2-5, 36:10, 36:14; Obadiah 1:1-2, 1:10)

1-2-3 (I've heard enough)
Bigamy was Esau's burden
I married me girls who grieved my kin
I'm bringin' someone now to solve that
I just got married once again I'm takin' a chance, yes
Well, I heard what my mom thinks about them (Mother's mad)
Well, her dirty deal put me down
Well, I hope my mom will remember
Her son who ran won't be around anyhow
Sweet Oholibamah, you're my wife that's the truth
Sweet Oholibamah, you're just one of quite a few
I'm burning mad, but I love my mother, now (Boo hoo hoo)
But she's tied in with Jacob's ruse
While brother Jacob was robbin' me
Mother conned my father, too I'm tellin' the truth
Sweet Oholibamah, all my wives are so blue
They don't love my mama 'cause my mama don't approve
(Here it comes, melodrama)
Now Mother goes and talks to Papa
"Let Jacob go and pick a wife or two" (Ain't she cute)
Oh, that ticks me off so much
It ticks me off 'cause he flew the coop Now, I might sue
Sweet Oholibamah, yeah, my wives aren't amused
We gonna have a problem if we go on Family Feud
Sweet Oholibamah (oh, sweetheart)
Yeah, my wives aren't so few (but my love is true)
Even though I'm not monogamous (oh, no)
You're my one and only too

Genesis 36:2-3
Esau took his wives from the women of Canaan: Adah daughter of Elon the Hittite, and Oholibamah daughter of Anah and of Nebaioth, granddaughter of Zibeon the Hivite also Basemath daughter of Ishmael and sister


It's Not Eden
Parody of "Superman (It's Not Easy)" performed by Five for Fighting and written by John Ondrasik
(Genesis 3:1-24; 1 Timothy 2:1; 1 John 1:8)

I can't stand to lie; I got that from Eve
I just had a bite; You gave her, Lord, to me
I warned her at first; I more than explained
That's more than some pretty fruit beside a snake
And it's not easy to be deceived
I wish that I could hide, find a pile of leaves
Finally we're wise, now my home I'll never see
There may be a curse upon me like Eve
But even she will have a righteous seed
I may be just dirt, but once she conceives
Even we may have our rights redeemed
But it's not easy to be with Eve
Told us get away, away from here, but it's all alright
We can all be grounded tonight
I'm not angry or anything
I can't stand to fight; I'm not mad at Eve
Men weren't meant for pride; it clouds the things they need
I'm only a man, but still You said she'd
Be pregnant with kids tonight and that's one way we
Know there's a plan, so Lord we'll yet seek
Looking for special things inside of Eve, in spite of me
In spite of me, inside of Eve, in spite of me
I'm only a man in Genesis three
I'm only a man lookin' for a seed
I'm the only man and there's only just Eve
And it's not Eden
It's not easy to leave here

Genesis 3:12
The man said, "The woman you put here with me she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."


Listening After Midnight
Parody of "Living After Midnight" performed by Judas Priest and written by Glenn Tipton, Rob Halford & K.K. Downing
(Acts 20:7-12)

Listenin' after midnight, watchin' till I yawn
Learnin' till I'm snoring, then I'm gone, I'm gone
I took a seat upon the window ledge (boldly, slowly)
I'm three floors up and on the edge (holy moly)
I come to church and they preach all night
That's why I may be droopy-eyed
CHORUS
That preacher Paul is lecturing still (code red, code red)
He needs to take a sleeping pill (go to bed, go to bed)
While Paul's a-preaching, I'm half awake
It's morning, Reverend, take a break!
CHORUS
I'm leanin' forward, I'm fallin' floorward
My body's tumblin' Oh, I died in the fall!
The resurrection's starting now (for me, for me)
I'm guessin' God gave Paul the power (glory, glory)
He saved my life and then dove in
The boy starts teaching us again
Lecturin' after midnight, talkin' till the dawn
Leavin' in the morning, then he's gone, all gone
It's in Acts 20, I am Eutychus
Love to tell the story, and it's 'cause I was
Livin' after midnight, God can do it all
Life is never boring when there's God

Acts 20:9
Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead.


Psum 14
Parody of "Fat Lip" performed and written by Sum 41
(Psalms 14:3, 53:3; Romans 3:10, 3:23, 7:7-25; 1 Kings 8:46; 2 Chronicles 6:3; 1 Timothy 1:15-16; James 3:2; 1 John 1:8-10)

Sure my movie part it won't be played by Al Pacino
But I hope you're not thinking I'm exactly Mr. Clean, though
As a kid, was in sin, and no one knew it but me
And my Olan Mills portrait was Dorian Gray
Well, I know I'm not the one you thought you knew back in high school
You'd never know, I'd never show, I just was a shy dude
But let me set you straight, 'cause all of us need saved
My sin was always here but that's erased
I don't want to praise my crimes
Because I know that that would be impropriety
I'm just a ball of slime
So come and get forgiven just like He forgave me act now
Read God's truth in
Romans and Psalms we learn that all people fall
But what would you expect knowing David and Paul
Have you met 'em? Them fellas knew how we need grace
They did bad deeds only God could erase
Cause David had an affair and murdered, he still repented
Turning Paul around it took divine intervention
Acts 9 it will confirm he messed up every church
He sinned till Jesus told him, "Hey, that hurts!"
I don't want to list my crimes
Because I know the fragility of my piety
And I recall this line
In chapter 1 verse 15 of old First Timothy that's how
Don't count on me to live with no sin
Don't count on me I'll do it again
Don't count on me but the point you're missin'
Don't count on me is I'm forgiven
We're all just no good and we're nailed without Christ
Act fast and He won't get upset about nothin'
You can stand around and scorn and scoff like Waldorf the Muppet
But you can't blame anybody; ask Jimmy Buffett
'Cause if you take no blame you'll be really on the hook
You're on the Ten Most Wanted in the devil's own book
That's why Psalm number 14:3 is important
Because it says we're all sinners addin' up more sins
CHORUS

Psalm 14:3
All have turned aside, they have together become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.


The Word
Parody of "Grease" performed by Frankie Valli and written by Barry Gibb
(John 1:1-14, 14:6; Ephesians 2:8)

I solve math problems at my senior high
We got a hundred things we gotta read and write
There ain't no gangs like Grease and no cool cars
It's hard to be real wild but we can teach you the art
It's in the Word
They think our Lord is just a ball and chain
Why don't they understand it's just their pride and shame
They live for science only He is real
Just got to find right now the God that Jesus revealed
Jesus, the Word
Jesus, the Word, He's the Word as you've heard
We've got proof it's God's Spirit
He is the life, He's the way, He's the Logos
Now these things we base on experience
He came in flesh and then He chose to stay
Condemned to Calvary, rose on that blest third day
There is a choice that we can make if we're smart
We start believing now and He can redo our hearts
Receive the Word
Yes the Word, yes the Word, as you've heard
It's not a ruse, it's not teasing
Jesus the Christ is the face of the Most High
Now this is the day to receive Him
They say that life's evolution
That's just a subtle atheist excuse
What are we doing here?
We make confession and He shows the way
No technicalities, no long-term debts to pay
There is a plan so we get saved from the fall
Let's start to read it now; it's in Ephesians, you all
Grace is the word
Grace is a word that's conferred undeserved
It's not you, it's not me, then
Grace is divine, it's through faith, there's no boasti
Now read in 2:8 in Ephesians
Research the Word, yes the Word that you heard
It's God's truth, it's God's teaching
(It's the truth, I mean it)
This is the time, it's the place, it's the moment
Now Jesus is waiting receive Him
Jesus, the Word, yes the Word, yes the Word

John 1:14
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.


Wherever You Will Sow
Parody of "Wherever You Will Go" performed by the Calling and written by Aaron Kamin & Alex Band
(Matthew 13:1-30; Mark 4:1-20, 4:26-29; Luke 8:1-15; Isaiah 55:10-11; Psalm 126:5-6; 1 Corinthians 15:35-45)

So lately you're wondering who really cares to take Christ's grace
Well, Christ taught that seeds of new life get scattered on Earth's face
If a grain of wheat shall fall, yeah, fall upon good soil
In between the sand and stone, Good News makes that crop to grow
Yes, I've learned that Christ's word will grow wherever you will sow
Wait a while, hold out hope -- it grows wherever you will sow
And maybe you're fried now, afraid you've wasted bags of grain
You watered, you tried to do your darnedest, all in vain
If as great a faith as Paul's can follow after Saul
Then there's hope for someone out there who you think rejected you
Yes, I've learned that Christ's word will grow wherever you will sow
There's all kinds of ground though it grows wherever you will sow
Some it may hit the rocks, some it may hit the road
Some it may hit the thorns
I know now there's dry ground but lives you love might still grow strong
Give their hearts some more time and state the truth for all mankind
Yes, I've learned that Christ's word will grow wherever you will sow
We all cry, we'll shout though -- as Psalm 126 will show
We might return back cryin' Christ's word is never useless though
Read Isaiah 55 by verse 11 you will know
It grows wherever you will sow

Psalm 126:5-6
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.


Wake Up Talitha Cumi
Parody of "Wake Up Little Susie" performed by the Everly Brothers and written by Boudleaux Bryant & Felice Bryant
(Mark 5:22-24, 35-43; Luke 8:40-5; Matthew 9:18-26)

Wake up, Talitha cumi, wake up!
Wake up, Talitha cumi, wake up!
The girl's just sound asleep
Why cause this commotion and weep
So move on over if you're in shock
And clear this unbelief
Wake up, Talitha cumi, wake up, Talitha cumi
Well trust in God, I tell your mama
Trust in God, I tell your pa
Trust in God when all your friends they nay say
Prove them wrong
Wake up, Talitha cumi, wake up, Talitha cumi
Well, they told your mom and dad you were dead right then
Well, you'll be raised so looks like they goofed again
Wake up, Talitha cumi, wake up, Talitha cumi
You gotta have hope
CHORUS
The mourners must've forgot
They're pickin' out burial plots
They failed to see that you have booked
Your resurrection with God
Wake up, Talitha cumi, wake up, Talitha cumi
Well, what we've done they'll tell in Mark 5
But for now we'll tell no one
What we've done they'll tell again in Luke 8
You got up!

Mark 5:41 (KJV)
And he took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha cumi, which is, being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise.


Guide the Way
Parody of "By the Way" performed by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and written by Anthony Kiedis, Flea, John Frusciante & Chad Smith
(Daniel 6:1-28)

Standing with lions beneath the floor tonight
And there's a lion here we go
Right away I try to pray, I kneel there, waiting, Lord
"Daniel don't go and pray," they said to me
They made a mock'ry of you, Lord
Save life! Claws sharp! C'mon God! Move quick!
This cat thinks I'm such a little beefcake
Get here quick I think I'm on the meat tray
Point and click to make Your bid on Ebay
Teach that king that's not the way that we pray
Don't allow! Blood bath! In cave! Stop them!
Standing with lions beneath the floor tonight
And there's a lion help me, Lord
Guide the way, when lions prey, they feed there, tame Him, Lord!
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
Bad cat! Don't sic! Paws off! Open!
Kit cat's nice but, no, don't want to hold one
Not gonna strike but I'm a not-so-bold one
Might not bite, I know, you never know but
God I like this story though it's no fun
Stop there! Mean lion! Get back! Hard stop!
Standing with lions I see them show their whites
And there's a lion every hole
Find a way, my life's at stake I see their great big jaws
"Daniel, don't go and pray," they said to me
Beneath them I'll be on the floor
By the way, I find it strange I'll be here praying more
Ooh ah, kittens better listen
Ooh ah, kittens can't resist Him
Ooh ah, kittens kept their distance
Ooh ah, kittens never bit me
Ooh ah, kittens lost their mittens
Ooh, I guess I'm not a victim
Ooh, I'm gettin' out of prison -- Hoo hah!
Daniel 6:19 stayed here overnight
And there's a light on early show
By the way, it's light of day, I see that breaking dawn
"Daniel," the Persian king he calls to me
And he's remarking, "Oh poor soul"
By an angel I was saved, I know you love me Lord
Standing with lions I've seen You show Your might
That I relied on to get me home
Right away I cried, You saved, I beat them, Thank you, Lord

Daniel 6:16
So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and threw him into the lions' den. The king said to Daniel, "May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!"


Little-Read Bible Book
Parody of "Lil' Red Riding Hood" performed by Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs and written by Ronald Blackwell
(Matthew 7:15-18, 24:11; Mark 13:22; Acts 20:29-31; 2 Peter 2:1; 2 John 1:7-11)

Who's that I see not doin' any good?
Why it's a little-read Bible book!
Hey there, little-read Bible book, you sure have been forsook
You're never read, so big bad wolves can roam. Literally!
Little-read Bible book, I don't think many people look
So we're walkin' in and making ourselves at home
Owwr! What big lies we have!
We come as spies disguised as lambs
But if they'd read just an open page
I think they all could spot the wolves far away
What truth Scripture has! It's sure to warn if someone's bad
So before they understand God's grace
I think I ought to lock you up in a safe
I'm gonna keep my sheep suit on
And I'll assure them nothing's wrong
And you can get dusty and they all can leave you alone
Owwr! Little-read Bible book, I'd like to quote you, yes I would
But first I'll change me a thing or two on my own
Owwr! What if these parts I add
A word or two, nothing big
Little-read Bible book even bad news can seem good
I'll try a little cyanide, just enough to slide on by
Maybe they'll swallow things I say
Before they get to that odd taste
Little-read Bible book, I'm sure their goose is cooked
They never read in the big black book at all
Owwr! That's too bad Baaad

Matthew 7:15
"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. "


Downer of a Sister
Parody of "Chop Suey" performed by System of a Down and written by Serj Tankian & Daron Malakian
(Genesis 29)


Wake up, we probably should talk a little Jacob
Why? Because there's been a major shake up
Light the lamp they keep upon the table
Yeah, you married me instead of Rachel
You want me to
Wear a veil and never put the shades up?
You want me to
Try to starve and find a way to shape up?
You want me to
Drive to Egypt get myself a facial?
You want me to?
Oh, I don't think you trust in my shelf-life as your new bride
I tried but Rachel's the perfect size!
Wake up, Laban, you're in trouble this is Jacob
Open up the door or it'll break up
Why'd you give me Leah 'stead of Rachel
Yeah you know she ain't no Charlie's Angel
(You wanted to)
Even if she puts on lots of make-up
(Put fun into)
Leah's face could scare away your hiccups
(My honeymoon)
I've seen better faces on a bagel
(I'll punish you)
Why don't we discuss this nice
Downsize your foolish pride
Why fight? I gave you the first in line
And I threw in a concubine
All right for Rachel just serve me twice
Father! Father! Father! Father!
Father it's too intense; I can't stand to hear it
Father you knew the plan Why did you give Jacob me?
In disguise so secretly? Is there no escape for me?
It's my heart you're breakin', please no!
Brushed aside Now I'm just doin' time
I cry while Jacob diversifies
Can't lie she's such a cutie pie
Why try when Rachel's the perfect bride

Genesis 29:25
When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, "What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn't I? Why have you deceived me?"


Lazy Brain
Parody of "Crazy Train" performed by Ozzy Osbourne and written by Ozzy Osbourne, Bob Daisley & Randy Rhoads
(1 Timothy 1:15, 1 Corinthians 5:9-13, 6:9-11, Romans 2:1, John 17:15-19, Acts 19:19, 1 John 4:4)

Osbournes!!!! Ha ha ha ha! I-I-I-I!
Ozzy puts bats down his throat
Real different people live in his home
"Cosby, he's not," You complain
"He's burned out from drugs and forgets his own name!"
Censors soon start bleeping, "What did he just say?"
I know enough to tell it's not a statement of faith
I know enough to tell Ozzy may need saved
Let's go!
I've listened to Priest and I've listened to Crue
I've watched Alice Cooper get saved out of booze
One person's addictions can ruin his soul
But Jesus saved Alice so you never know
Metal groups still screaming why are we so tame
They're going off the trail but they ain't insane
They're going off the trail 'cause we're lazy brains
Why don't we think 'bout Romans 1 through 3?
You gotta listen to God's Word
There was a cola war and Ozzy succumbed
He'll sell Mr. Bubble when MTV's done
Lately I just am not scared
The devilish Ozzy he just isn't there
Maybe he's not really who and what you claimed
I know what Ozzy says but he may still change
So don't underestimate God's amazing grace

Romans 2:3-4
So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?


Called My Wife
Parody of "All My Life" performed by the Foo Fighters and written by Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins, Nate Mendel & Chris Shiflett
(Genesis 3:1-24, 4:1-16; Hebrews 11:4; 1 Timothy 2:14)

Called my wife "Eve," the serpent he jumped in
Jumped in 'cause he was never good for nothing
Nothing 'cept his lies and his empty boasts
Closed our foolish eyes and he ended our hopes
All life long I'll remember the day
When Eden was around now it's taken away
Eve says just to deal with it I feel morose
When it costs the life of a sheep or goat
Calm down this ain't recess
I wanna tell you the rest
And if I give you a test
Sons, you two both better do your best
Sacrifice something that matters
Like Abel did with his sheep
Cause you're my reason to breathe
Don't want my sons ending up like me
C'mon my sons listen up I plead
Cain, don't let it go to waste
I love you, don't just vegetate
Hate's keeping you down
Abel, yeah, you're going great
I love you, but I hesitate
Cain's sneaking around
When I found out we need covered
I covered up with some leaves
I made a one-piece for Eve
Over the shoulders down to the knees
Didn't get any closer to making both of us wise
It left me empty inside
From then on I've got something to hide
From then on I've got something to hide
Cain, don't let this grow to rage
I love you, why'd you make that face
Snake's seeking you out
Abel, yeah, I know your faith
I love you, but you ain't that safe
Cain's creeping me out
Called my wife I've been searchin' since sunset
Something must be wrong have you seen our sons yet
Not yet but I spy someone gettin' close
Closer, yes, it's Cain at the end of the road
Oh, my son, what's that thing on your face
And Abel's not around where'd you take him today
He was in the field with you I fear you know
You look kind of like you've just seen a ghost
My son, son, what have you just done
Son, son, tell me what have you just done
Son, my son, Cain, I don't wanna guess
Cain you better go away
I love you but I hate that snake
Can't keep him around
Abel, what a total waste
I'd love to go and take your place
Laid deep in the ground
Done, done, on to the next son
Done, I'm done, now I'm warning you Seth

Genesis 4:6-7
Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."