Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on "Spoofernatural" (2000)?

Here's what's on "Spoofernatural":

Play That Funny Music ("Play That Funky Music" by Wild Cherry)
Fishin' On a Pier ("Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi)
Pray Now ("All Star" by Smash Mouth)
El-ijah ("Elvira" by the Oak Ridge Boys)
Sin Can Be Resistible ("Simply Irresistible" by Robert Palmer)
Trooth ("Smooth" by Santana Featuring Rob Thomas)
La Bible ("La Bamba" by Ritchie Valens and Los Lobos)
I Want in That Place ("I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys
Crowd of Foreign Girls ("California Girls" by the Beach Boys and David Lee
Roth)
Choirboy ("Cowboy" by Kid Rock)
Every Crown Has Its Thorns ("Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison)
Livin' What Jesus Spoke Of ("Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin)
I Love Apostle Paul ("I Love Rock 'n' Roll" by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts)
Jonah, Jonah ("Mony, Mony" by Billy Idol and Tommy James & the Shondells)
Learn Some Deuteronomy ("Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard)
Last Night ("Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam and J. Frank Wilson & the Cavaliers)
Once Livin' Twice Died ("Once Bitten Twice Shy" by Great White)
Rock This Tower ("Rock This Town" by the Stray Cats)
Genny 22 ("867-5309/Jenny" by Tommy Tutone)


LYRICS

Play That Funny Music
Parody of "Play That Funky Music" written by R. Parissi and performed by Wild Cherry and Vanilla Ice
(1 Cor. 9:22, Romans 12:2, Titus 1:15)

Now once I was a kooky singer
Playin' in a rock and roll band
I never had no problems
Singing songs that weren't nice then
But whenever Jesus found me
God said not to sing them no more
So I decided biblically
To switch them round and check how it'd go
And they were dancin' and diggin' the music we was usin'
And just when it hit them the words were turned around
They shouted
Play that funny music right, boy
Play that funny music right
Play that funny music right, boy
They got confused
Cause I played them Sunday music in disguise
In disguise? In disguise!
LEAD
Now first it wasn't easy
Changin' rock and rollin' lines
I sing but when He saved me
I thought I'd have to leave it behind
But now it's so much better
I'm pointing out the heavenly way
I get accused of stealin'
But now I turn to Wesley and say
Man they were dancin' and diggin' the music we was usin'
And just when it hit them the words were turned around
They shouted
Play that funny music right, boy
Play that funny music right
Play that funny music right, boy
They're not amused
And they say that what we're doin' isn't right
But is it right? Is it right?

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Fishin' On a Pier
Parody of "Livin' on a Prayer" written by Jon Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora & Desmond Child and performed by Bon Jovi
(Matthew 4:19, Mark 1:17, 1 Cor. 7:17-20)

(Once upon a time God so loved the world ... )
Johnny used to work on the docks
Fishin's been his life since John was a pup
It's tough to stop
He would work with Simon and James
Workin' for his dad he made fish fillets
For lunch mmm for lunch
He says
We gotta hold on to what we're taught
Because we may be Christians doesn't mean we forgot
We got deep water and nets and rods
So now
We're fishin' for God
Oh ... the pathway's clear
Oh ... fishin' on a pier
Hey, my man, the lake is right here
Oh ... fishin' on a pier
Karl has got a six-string that rocks
Now Keith's on the bass
And the dude who plays the drums is tough
Mmm ... Fred's tough
Jesus gave us somethin' to say
Cause Christ's in our lives ... now we're fishers
Parody's our bait ... some say
We gotta hold on to what we're taught
He called us as musicians and we're praisin' our God
We got deep water
And lots of rock and roll
We're fishin' for God
Oh ... the pathway's clear
Oh ... fishin' on a pier
They're my band, the lake is right here
Oh ... fishin' on a pier
Fishin' on a pier
LEAD
We gotta hold on steady your rod
We fish for the guys that are called out by God

1 Corinthians 7:20
Each one should remain in the situation he was in when God called him.
Pray Now (Lost Art)
Parody of "All Star" written by Greg Camp and performed by Smash Mouth
(Luke 11:9, Luke 18: 1-8, James 4:1-3, Matt. 6:33, Matt. 7:7, Luke 17:5,
Matt. 17:20)

Somebody once told me "The Lord is not your roadie
"You ain't the star so do it yourself."
I said, "Look, it's kind of dumb
If if there's things that I need done
It's a shame not to call on the Lord's help."
Well, my prayers start comin' and they don't stop comin'
I read through the rules and I think I found somethin'
Didn't make sense not to get more done
I pray real hard cause the Heavenly Son
Showed what to do, said knock and seek
So what's wrong with praying and asking
You better go look in Luke, bro
11:9 if you don't know
Pray now it's a lost art get your day underway
Pray now get a jump start get a move on get faith
God is listenin' you know only you can start prayin' though
There's a cool case so you're prayin' gets bolder
You look it up Luke 18 yeah, let's go there
When the meanest of men met the widow
Judge he was, you know if you have the right scripture
But I see his patience is gettin' pretty thin
The woman gets annoyin' so he might as well give in
The world's like that how about the Lord
God already likes ya and you'll never get ignored
Pray now it's a lost art get your day underway
Pray now fourth chapter let me show ya in James
God is listenin' you know only you can start prayin' though
Somebody once asked Jesus give us the capacity
To get ourselves a faith that is great
He said, "Well, why ya want help?
"You could move a little hill yourself
"If you would all use a little faith."
Well, my prayers start comin' and they don't stop comin'
I read through the rules and I think I found somethin'
Didn't make sense not to get more done
Pray it smart cause the Heavenly Son
Showed what to do, said knock and seek
So what's wrong with praying and asking
You'll never know if you don't go
You better try if you don't know
Pray now it's a lost art get your day underway
Pray now get a jump start get a move on get faith
God is listenin' you know only you can start prayin' though

Luke 18:1
Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.


El-ijah
Parody of "Elvira" written by Dallas Frazier and performed by
the Oak Ridge Boys
(2 Kings 1)

El-ijah! El-ijah!
Don't start no fires, El-ijah!
Elijah looked toward Heaven It got very bright
The fire fell sure enough takin' 50 guys' lives
I've got a funny feelin' I'm about to die
Cause I know Elijah's tried that twice
So I'm saying
El-ijah! El-ijah!
Don't start no fires, El-ijah!
He's the one
Uh who brought, uh who brought the fire down
He's the one
Uh who brought, uh who brought the fire down
Drive those soldiers away
So now I'm gonna meet him and I wonder what I will say
I've gotta follow all the king's commands so here's my plan
I'm gonna shout and holler
"Elijah, save us from senseless slaughter!
"Please won't you go with us; I'm a peaceful man!"
And I'll be saying
El-ijah! El-ijah!
Don't start no fires, El-ijah!
(I'm) givin' up!
Cause you brought, uh-you brought the fire down
(I'm) givin' up!
Cause you brought, uh-you brought the fire down
Blew those soldiers away

2 Kings 1:14
"See, fire has fallen from heaven and consumed the first two captains and all their men. But now have respect for my life!"

Sin Can Be Resistible
Parody of "Simply Irresistible" written and performed by Robert Palmer
(1 Corinthians 10:13, James 4:7, Heb. 4:15, Matt. 4:1-11,
Eph. 6:12-18, 2 Cor. 10:4)

We cannot be invincible but God provides the principle
For Baptist or Episcopal that any sin's resistible
Sin's pervasive can't ignore it it's a powerful force
But He'll provide a way out when there's no other door
And you can stay put or leave but now I've found that
Sin can be resistible
Our lusts can be so powerful that sin seems unavoidable
But James says if we resist the devil,
He'll run away so miserable
It's a natural law that no temptation befalls ya
'Cept the kind that is common to the rest of us all
It used to look good to me but now I find that
Sin can be resistible
Please hold tight there's no tellin' when he'll run away
Jesus Christ tells the devil where to go
Sin's unavoidable but that don't mean we'll fall
Read First Corinthians verse 10:13 because
God made a promise, baby, Satan ain't allowed
To tempt us more than we can bear I've found that
Sin can be resistible ...
LEAD
Our weapons aren't shootable but truth is irrefutable
Our struggle isn't physical so fight him with the biblical
Jesus faced him in the desert he's a powerful tempter
Even Christ could have fallen but you know He knew better
He used the Good Book you see that's how we find out
Sin can be resistible ...

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out that you can stand up under it.


Trooth
Parody of "Smooth" written by Itaal Shur & Rob Thomas and performed by Santana Featuring Rob Thomas
(2 Corinthians 13:8)

Well, it's a hot one
The separation of re-lig-i-on
I feel the wisdom in God's word could help everyone
In your state-owned school
My homeroom teacher
My famished heart is more than eager
But my reason for readin'
Is gettin' the truth
And if you said this Bible ain't good enough
For the real-life world so give it up
I could change my mind to better suit your rules
But it's still true
Well, it's just like the notion that one and one is two
It's the same as any question on a test from you
You've got to find solutions that can be absolute
So live in the dark ages still ... or else go get a Bible
I'll tell you one thing
If you don't read it it's a cryin' shame
Can't live by bread but every word I hear that came
Out of His mouth
I love the Bible so
It's like arithmetic and reading though
I feel the learning of the world goes awful slow shutting it out
And if you said this Bible ain't good enough
For the real-life world so give it up
I could change my mind to better suit your rules
But it's still true
Well, it's just like the notion that one and one is two
It's the same as any question on a test from you
You've got to find ya something that can be called truth
So live in the dark ages still ... or else go get a Bible
(Let's all go get a Bible)

2 Corinthians 13:8
For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth.

La Bible
Parody of "La Bamba" written by Ritchie Valens and performed by
Ritchie Valens and Los Lobos
(The Whole Bible)

Follow along in the Bible
Follow along in the Bible
You'll never read any book that is better
Genesis, Exodus and Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy
Joshua, Judges and Ruth
Then 1 & 2
Samuel and Kings and Chronicles
Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther
And then Job, Psalms and Proverbs
Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon, Song of Solomon
Then Isaiah
Jeremiah
Lamentations uh huh
Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea
Joel, Amos and Obadiah
And Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk and
Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah and
After these there's Malachi
LEAD
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John-a
Acts of the Apostles and Romans
1,2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians
Philippians, Colossians, 1,2 Thessalonians
and 1,2 Timothy
Titus, Philemon, Hebrews, James, 1,2 Peter
1,2,3 John
Jude, Rev'lation
That's the Bible
I like Bible
Try my Bible
Bye Bye Bible

Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.


I Want in That Place
Parody of "I Want It That Way" written by Max Martin & Andreas Carlsson and performed by the Backstreet Boys
(Revelation 3:20, Romans 3:10, 3:23, 10:9)

You are much higher I want inside there
Beneath heav'n I pray I want in that place
But we are two worlds apart You speak to my heart
Then You say, "I want in that place"
Tell me why (You) came knockin' on my heart today
Tell me why I'm nothin' but a disgrace
Tell me why Why You'd ever come to me and say
I want in that place
Can I soar higher? I want inside there
Yes I know it's two-way
But I want in that place
Help me Christ I'm nothin' but I'm sorry
Help me Christ I'm knockin' but I need grace
Help me Christ I'm never gonna get it straight
But I want in that place
Now I can see that we've fallen so short
From the way we're supposed to be (Yeah)
No man in existence is righteous enough
I need You inside of me
You are Messiah You want inside of
My heart C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
(C'mon I need you)
(You) came knockin' on my heart today
Tell me why I'm nothin' but a disgrace
Tell me why in Revelation 3 You say
I want in that place
Help me Christ I'm nothin' but I'm sorry
Help me Christ I'm knockin' but I need grace
Help me Christ I hear Heaven's gonna be great
I want in that place
REPEAT LAST CHORUS
And I want in that place

Revelation 3:20
Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

Crowd of Foreign Girls
Parody of "California Girls" written by Brian Wilson & Mike Love and
performed by the Beach Boys and David Lee Roth
(1 Kings 11, Numbers 25:1-3, Nehemiah 13:26-27)

Well, Egypt girls are hip, I really dig my wife from there
And the Sidon girls with their pagan gods
They Tyred me out and I got snared
The Middle East foreign leaders gave me pagan female wives
And the Moab girls with the way they kiss
They make their boyfriends Moabites
I kissed an awful big crowd of foreign girls
I guess they altered me kinda sorta
My wisdom faltered because of foreign girls
I guess I had a fun time as the world's most richest man
I think I had at least a thousand wives counting concubines
From all these different lands
I ran around with pagan girls
And I gave 'em all diamonds n' pearls
Yeah, but I should've stayed with girls who had the same faith
That's with the Jewish girls in the world
I'd list them all and recount 'em for ya
I just don't want to be proud and bore ya
It's just an awful big crowd of foreign girls
So listen close to me I'll inform ya
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I said)
My ship got lost at sea kinda sorta
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I said)
I switched philosophies now I'll warn ya
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I said)
They just ain't worth the grief I implore ya
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I said)

NOTE:
In case you don't know, the lands of Tyre and Sidon go hand in hand (like Sodom and Gomorrah), hence Solomon's pun about how Sidon girls "Tyred" him out. The Moab girls, you may remember, were used by Balaam and the king of the Moabites in Numbers 25:1-3 to seduce the Israelite males and get them to indulge in idolatry, so that's why the song mentions them making "their boyfriends Moabites." The line about the girls "altering" Solomon is a pun also, because those pagan wives led him to build altars for their pagan gods, and this definitely altered his standing with God and his whole life. Solomon also was a ship builder who sent many ships out to sea (1 Kings 9:26-28, 10:22), leading to the pun about
getting lost at sea. Class dismissed.

1 Kings 11:1
King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh's daughter Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites.

Choirboy
Parody of "Cowboy" written by R.J. Ritchie, M. Shafer, J. Trombly &
J. Travis and performed by Kid Rock
(Matt. 21:42, Mark 12:10, Luke 20:17, Psalm 118, Isaiah 28:16)

Well I'm uh back in the fourth grade and I'm uh 10 I guess
When weird women thought we kids all lived to take tests
Kinda kept to myself real shy kid
I liked old rock songs and the pop'lar hits
There was a kid talkin' 'bout a choir they got
Said a lot of the spots were not locked because
The guy who taught with the choir was still fillin' the rows
And lots of kids couldn't sound the notes
And he told me it's fun to sing with the choir
Get known as a kid that God set apart
Said to me you wanna? I'm gonna go
Try out for the choir fella you should come along
Start attendin' church service in robes just like Jesus
And get a spot in the Four Tops or Four Seasons
That rocks! Cause I'm a real good voice
And I'm takin' that test, sucka, because
I'm gonna be a choirboy baby
With a top 10 smash and the nuns all smiling
(Choirboy baby) Guess who's chillin' with the boys' choir
(I'm gonna be a choirboy baby)
Shinin' my light while the people pray
(Choirboy baby) A cappella singer from a higher plane
I let him hear my little vocals and he said, "You're in"
I go "Ah ah ah ah ah" I dusted my friend
Told him "You won't do there's no gown in your size"
Well that's his loss my gown it fits fine
They told me "Believe in Jesus Christ"
I'll get Him after this part of my exciting life
Cause if I time this right I'm gonna make like a Beach Boy
And let California girls know why they all need a choirboy baby
Better stop that act everyone's not buyin'
(Choirboy baby) Just like Dylan with a good voice
(I'm gonna be a choirboy baby)
Hidin' my life while I seem O.K.
(Choirboy baby) I can tell a fib with a smiley face
Yeah it rocked you can call me "blessed"
Only something's missin' and I gotta confess
Seems the sin that's in my head is growin' wild and fast
And it'd get this kid kicked right out of Mass
No kidding I'm sittin' in church gettin' real bored
Call the cops 'cause I'm lost
Where's the cross and the Lord?
Felt remorse and embarrassed and I tried to get right
Felt like hangin' down my head and hangin' up my life (Huh!)
Got famous rocked the eleventh grade 'cause
Director picked me for my senior play yes
Got to wear make-up rock band came up
They told me sing lead but then the band breaks up
Pride had got a grip on me
Robbed me of the sort of faith I'd need
I didn't know Jesus I just would beg Him for favors
Finally straight out of college I made Him my Savior
Now life's a pleasure this guy's legit
I'd always heard that Christians were radical idiots
I make it my biz to dispel that notion
And keep on trustin' Him with all my devotion
(Choirboy) with a rock band that's into song rewritin'
(Choirboy) spend all my time at finding words that rhyme
(Choirboy) ridin' at night cause the gigs I play
(Choirboy) might be held at 800 miles away
(Choirboy) with ApologetiX backin' the songs I'm rhymin'
(Choirboy) with a top 10 smash and the Son's inside me.

Matthew 6:1
"Be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."



Every Crown Has Its Thorns
Parody of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" written by Bobby Dall, C.C. DeVille, Bret Michaels & Rikki Rockett and performed by Poison
(Matthew 10:38,16:24, Mark 8:34, Luke 9:23, 14:27, James 1:2-4,
Hebrews 4:15, 5:7-10, 12:2, 1 Peter 2:19, 4:12-13, Romans 5:3, 8:18)

We're both like Simon we still live in a state of denial
Although we'd both like to go to Heaven
We feel surprised about the trial
But the suff'ring Christ did accomplished somethin'
And the worst all turned out right
Go and find out in Hebrews chapter 5
Verses 7 through 9
You see
Every crown has its thorns
Just like every life has its cross
Just like every choirboy sings some sad, sad songs
Every crown has its thorns ... it does
A Christian needs to take his cross
Take it up and hit the road
Yeah, 'cause Jesus said lots of times that we should do it and
He should know
But I wonder as He walked
If He ever felt like quittin'
Yet I know we wouldn't be here right now if Christ
Took a different road than Calvary
CHORUS
Though I'm in a trial now
Christ can still feel all my pain
Like the nails that cut through and bruised Him
Cause the scars Christ's scars remain
LEAD
I know He could have saved His life that night if Christ
Chose to run away
Instead of takin' off He chose
To take the narrow way
And now I'm Heaven bound and born anew
And man I never had that much to lose
I'm here to bear my cross in life
And to see Him on the other side because
CHORUS

1 Peter 4:12
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.
Livin' What Jesus Spoke Of
Parody of "Livin' La Vida Loca" written by R. Rosa & Desmond Child and performed by Ricky Martin
(John 3:3, Revelation 3:20)

He's been through crucifixion That cat's been through it all
Christ's real; He ain't religion God's Word's gonna save your soul
He's into new creation Proved it when He came alive
He's God are you a Christian? Forget those pagan lies
He'll make you take your cross up
And go stand against the grain
He'll make you leave this crazy life
But He'll take away your shame
If you're truly born again - C'mon
Let Christ in right now
Livin' what Jesus spoke of
Don't pussyfoot around
Livin' what Jesus spoke of
You'll live forever then
And your sins He will dispose of
He will bail you out
Livin' what Jesus spoke of (3x)
Wake up, you know you're sinnin'
And it's fun till it leads to hell
He took your part and He took your punishment
He wants to save me and you as well
Your newer nature's goin' to make your older friends complain
But once you have a faith in Him you'll never be the same
Cause I think you're gonna change C'mon
CHORUS
He'll make you take your cross up
And go stand against the grain
He'll make you leave this crazy life
But He'll take away your shame
Bite the bullet and get saved - C'mon
CHORUS

John 3:3
In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again."






I Love Apostle Paul
Parody of "I Love Rock 'n Roll" written by J. Hooker & A. Merrill and
performed by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
(Acts 9, 2 Timothy)

I saw him standin' there writin' letters in chains
I knew he once had been a proud Pharisee
His faith was kind of strong
In God's favorite Son
And I could tell he didn't belong in prison with me, yeah me
And I could tell he didn't belong in prison with me, yeah me
Singin' I love Apostle Paul
He put a lotta lines in the Good Book baby
I love Apostle Paul
From Romans into Philemon yes indeed
He smiled, so I got up and asked "Were you framed?"
"Well, that don't matter," he said, "'cause I'm not ashamed"
"For Jesus to take me home I need to be in Rome"
When execution comes you'll see I'll be free, yeah free
When execution comes you see, I'll be free indeed
CHORUS
His letters won't take you long You need to read them all
So let's get movin' on and read 'em with me, yeah me
And we'll review them all and see what became of Paul
(In Second) Timothy
CHORUS

2 Timothy 1:8
"So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of
God ..."


Jonah, Jonah
Parody of "Mony, Mony" written by Bobby Bloom, Ritchie Cordell,
Bo Gentry & Tommy James and performed by Billy Idol and
Tommy James & the Shondells
(Jonah 1-3)

Fishy come 'round and ate ya Jonah, Jonah
Cause you was bound out of town far from home yeah
Had you in his stomach for three long nights now
Because-a God said go to Ninevah
But you didn't, huh?
I said yeah! (Yeah!) Yeah! (Yeah!) Yeah! (Yeah!) Yeah! (Yeah!)
You makin' things (Jonah, Jonah)
So hard
Yeah! (Yeah!) Yeah! (Yeah!) Yeah! (Yeah!)
Prayed please save me Jonah, Jonah
God's gonna get it done hold on Jonah
Whale's not lookin' like he feels so good, yeah
Well, don't look now but he's gonna vomit
So hold on Jonah
Bleah! (Bleah!) Bleah! (Bleah!) Bleah! (Bleah!)
He made the whale
Throw up
Hey!
Throw up
Ooh you was too boney, bo-bo-boney
Ooh that's what he told me, tol-tol-told me
Tasted like spumoni, mo-mo-moni
Mixed with macaroni, ro-ro-roni
Bleah! (Bleah!) Bleah! (Bleah!) Bleah! (Bleah!)

Jonah 1:17
But the LORD provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was inside the fish three days and three nights.

Learn Some Deuteronomy
Parody of "Pour Some Sugar on Me" written by Steve Clark, Phil Collen, Joe Elliot, Robert John "Mutt" Lange & Rick Savage
and performed by Def Leppard
(Romans 7:1-4, Galatians 3:19-25, James 2:10, Deuteronomy 27:26, Habakkuk 2:4, Leviticus 18:5)

(Get with Christ ... walk in faith)
(You and me need ... His grace!)
Livin' by the law, babe, you're gonna get it wrong
Livin' by the law will make you dead and gone
Look at God's commands in Leviticus and
Then in Deuteronomy you'll see it man
Actually you'll have to read in chapter three tonight
Of Galatians verses 19 through 25
Small crimes, any crime puts you in deep
Christ is the Savior, sayin' look at Me (Yeah! Yeah! C'mon!)
Take your Bible Shake it off
Everybody breaks the law
Learn some Deuteronomy can you name those laws
Learn from Deuteronomy c'mon try because
Learn your Deuteronomy you ain't good enough
God's Law is tricky to keep born again you must be, yeah
(Listen!) Read* the Bible, yeah we're liable, Jesus died though
Grace is livin' Romans 7:1 and 4
There have been 613 written Bible laws
We ain't exaggeratin' the Jews said so (the Jews said so)
You gotta read Leviticus 18 and read a little more
Deuteron'my 27, Habakkuk 2:4
Small crimes, any crime puts you in deep
Read it in James 2:10 I'm sure you'll see
(Yeah! Yeah! Read a little more!)
CHORUS
You come to Jesus Christ's got the key
Jesus says come to me
Cause God's law (law) is so hard it's tricky to keep
Born again (yeah) amen you must be
(Cause you're just a sinner)
(Want some more proof?)
CHORUS

(NOTE: 613 laws from the Old Testament are catalogued in the Jewish Talmud)
*Pronounced as the past tense of "read" (i.e. "red")
All other occurrences of the word in the song are present tense.

Galatians 3:10
All who rely on observing the law are under a curse, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do everything that is written in the Book of the Law."
Last Night
Parody of "Last Kiss" written by Wayne Cochran and performed by
Pearl Jam, J. Frank Wilson & the Cavaliers and Wednesday
(Matthew 26:33-56, Luke 22:39-62)

Oh where oh where can my Savior be
The Lord they took Him away from me
They've gone ahead and nailed Him onto the wood
So I can't see my Savior when I need Him most
He was down on His knees in an olive gard'n
He had been prayin' very hard
There in the grove strangers came
A crowd with swords they mentioned His name
I couldn't stop 'em though I certainly tried
I went for the head of some bad guy
But Jesus Christ He touched him fast
Replaced the ear that I had slashed
Oh where oh where can my Savior be
The Lord, they took Him away from me
They've gone and nailed the Son of God to the wood
So I can't see my Savior when I need Him most
When I showed up they had the Lord on trial
There were people standin' all around
Some men corn'red me so then I denied
But somehow Christ found my face with His eyes
At dinner last night He'd looked at me and said
"You'll deny me in just a little while."
I felt so cold to kiss Him off like this
I failed the Lord and I knew that I did
But now He's gone even though I hope and cry
I cost my Lord His life last night
Oh where oh where can my Savior be
The Lord, they took Him away from me
He's gone to Heaven and it's not looking good
Cause I can't see my Savior when I need Him most

Matthew 26:58
But Peter was following Him at a distance as far as the courtyard of the high priest, and entered in, and sat down with the officers to see the
outcome.



Once Livin' Twice Died
Parody of "Once Bitten Twice Shy" written by Ian Hunter and
performed by Great White
(John 3:3, Romans 7, Luke 16:19-31)

Well it's time to get a start that's new, little girl
You've been huntin' and you're stumblin' all over God's Word
You can't remember where you got so much sin
And you don't know just how we're born again
You didn't know what a rotten soul was
Until you read in John where chapter three told us
Christ was there with Nick at nite
Be born again, He said, or else you'll stay died ... yeah
Now it's the middle of your life and you're growin' old
You see there's God's word in a hotel drawer
You look inside the Book is kinda neat
The written word ya read sure knocks you off your feet
You didn't know how a rotten soul cooked
Until you caught the rich man in the gospel of Luke
That hit home and your heart got hot
You said, "It looks like it's time
I was gettin' right with God"
I said, my, my, my you're once livin' twice died, babe
My, my, my I'm once dead and twice alive, babe
My my my you're once livin' twice died, babe
Woman you're a mess gonna die in your sins
There's blood of the Lamb if you let Christ in
Can't keep Him out confess with your mouth
You best read Romans 10 cause that's where it's found
You didn't know that a rotten soul burned
Now you've got the manual and you'll live if you learn
You've got the picture you've got to speak
Come to Him and pray and make it short and sweet
CHORUS
You didn't know they let rotten souls in Heaven
Until you saw the scripture there in Romans chapter 7
You told me, "I want to know the Son"
And look at you now your darkness is gone
CHORUS

Romans 7:6
But now we have been delivered from the law, having died to what we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the Spirit and not in the oldness of the letter.
Rock This Tower
Parody of "Rock This Town" written by Brian Setzer and
performed by the Stray Cats
(Genesis 11:1-9)

Well, in Babel* the people went out
And they were scattered real wide
They had a tower piled high, but they knew it wasn't right
Well, they built it up and then God in Heaven saw it too
It happened long ago but I got the story for you
In chapter 11 you can look in Genesis if you please
BREAK
Well, they built a little place that really didn't look half bad
They hadn't finished up the top
When changes on the tower forced them to stop
Well, they put a lot of work into their plan
But all their languages was mixed up, man
Cause God went to Babel
Let's find out what He had to say
We gotta rock this tower
Cause man is quite proud
We gotta rock this tower
Make them leave it now
Well, this is not of God it's got to stop
They're gonna talk different 'cause we're gonna go mix 'em up
We're gonna rock this tower
Stop this thing right now
LEAD
Well, they babbled a while
Just a talkin' like they did before
Well then they realized that they couldn't understand anymore
Well, they looked pretty funny
They looked a real sight
They couldn't stay together if they couldn't speak alike
They had to stop that tower
Find a different place to start
CHORUS

*NOTE: Babel can be pronounced "Bab-bull" or "Bay-bull." In this song, it should be pronounced "Bay-bull" so it sounds like "baby."

Genesis 11:9
That is why it was called Babel because there the LORD confused the language of the whole world. From there the LORD scattered them over the face of the whole earth.
Genny 22
Parody of "867-5309/Jenny" written by A. Call & J. Keller and
performed by Tommy Tutone
(Genesis 22)

Genesis twenty-two's where I turn to
To get the story of Isaac no one knew
I know you think Ike's life was prob'ly a bore
Because his famous father loved the Lord
When he was lots more younger Isaac was saved in time
When the Lord told His father
Abraham sacrifice Me your child
Take sticks sacrifice Me your child
Abraham sacrifice Me your child
Isaac sacrificed, me oh my
Daddy, daddy that's a grill for meat
And you won't tell me why today we don't have sheep
I tried to tell you before but I lost my nerve
I tried to find another way son but I trust His Word
Daddy, I'm on the lumber why did you take your knife
There is an angel up there
Abraham, I'm satisfied, free your child
Your faith has satisfied me all right
Abraham, I'm satisfied, free your child
Your faith has satisfied me all right
Hey, Daddy! Hey, Daddy!
We've got a lamb there after all
Hey, Daddy! Hey, Daddy!
When you get time let's have a good long talk!
LEAD
When your begotten son's there
How can you take his life?
Yet we know God the Father
Made this sacrifice with Jesus Christ
Genny 22's where I turn to
God saved Isaac in time and we all must learn the truth
(To make it to Heaven find Jesus Christ)
Find Jesus Christ! Find Jesus Christ!

Genesis 22:2
Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."