Who is Keith Haynie?
Keith Haynie has been the bassist for ApologetiX since October 1995, although he filled in once previously for the band in December 1992. His first CD project with ApologetiX was Ticked, and he has played concerts with the band in all 50 states. Keith played his 1000th concert with the band in the April 2009.
Like most bassists, Keith doesn't say much ... but when he does, it's funny! He lives in Ellwood City, Pa., with his wife, Krista, and three kids: Sam (12), Sarah (10) and Abby (8). Keith is known for his love of many things, including, but not limited to: video games, 8-track tapes, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Bachman-Turner Overdrive, model trains, Godzilla, The Three Stooges, heavy metal, football, and Cameros.
Keith has gone through more identity changes in his time with ApologetiX than Madonna, Bowie, and Cher in their combined careers. In fact, he almost makes Jennifer Garner's undercover agent life on "Alias" look stable.
Like the shape-shifting Mystique of the X-Men flicks, the bass-gripping Keith of ApologetiX is a master of morphing, Oh, sure, he still looks the same as when he joined us over a decade ago, but his name keeps changing.
We're not talking about nicknames, either. For some reason, many people get Keith's first name wrong, yet he's rarely called by the same wrong name more than once. This process is called "stanning," because it all started back in 1996 at a Waffle House in Georgia, when a waitress mistakenly called him "Stan." Since then, in about the same amount of time it took to get from Sean Combs to Puff Daddy to P. Diddy, Keith has gone acquired over 30 new first names.
Stan (Waffle House in Georgia – 1996)
Ted (Ohio – 1997)
Gary (Bradford PA – 1998)
Stu (Lock Haven PA – 1999)
Curly (McDonald's in Ohio or Indiana – 1999)
Kevin (on the job in Pennsylvania by a thankful customer – 1999)
Baby (all-night diner in Reading PA – 1999)
Kenny (Denny's in Albany NY – 1999)
Rich (church in Donora PA – 1999)
Speedo (church in Donora PA – by a pastor – 1999)
Lee (concert in Houston TX – 2000)
Mr. Galparin (airplane on Texas trip – 2000)
John Crawford (I can't remember where but it happened – 2000)
Brian (concert in Kansas – 2000)
Frank (I can't remember where, but it happened – 2000)
Sean (concert in Austin TX – 2001)
Mark (concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Omar (same concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Cliff (photographer who took publicity shots – 2001)
Ryan (member of Poor Baker's Dozen called him that at a concert in Minnesota – 2001)
Ed (some lady said this to Keith's wife, Krista, in October 3 2001)
Kent (Mickey Hall in Oklahoma July 2002, according to her husband, Tom)
Heath (lady at hotel desk in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Pete (concert promoter in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Brad (DJ Dave Purin at the WJLU in Daytona/Port Orange FL - September 2003)
Naynie (stage plot in Colorado Springs CO - August 2005)
Kelly (person at Bismarck ND concert - December 2005)
Jeff (lady at his church in a Christmas card - December 2005)
Ken (TSA guy at the Pittsburgh Airport - May 2006)
Craig (concert helper in La Quinta CA - May 2006)
Billy (fan in Bradenton FL - March 2007)
Pete (fan in Bradenton FL - March 2007)
And those are just the first names! His last name has been misinterpreted as Haynes, Hiney (a couple of times -- most recently over a loudspeaker at the Minnesota airport in July 2006), and Hayner, in a Grand Rapids newspaper article in June 2006.
Remember: We don't count it if somebody TRIES to give Keith a new name. The beauty of this list of names is that they were names used by people who unintentionally got Keith's name wrong. No cheating!
To find out more about Keith, check out this exclusive interview at http://www.apologetix.com/bios/keith.php