Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums

What songs are on "Zebraic" (2017)?

Our 48th CD, Zebraic, was released in June 2017. Here's what's on it:

1. Remember (Lot's Wife) - December - Collective Soul
2. Confiscated - Complicated - Avril Lavigne
3. Ground Shook Here - Brown Sugar - The Rolling Stones
4. Learning Blasphemies - Turning Japanese - The Vapors
5. Feels Like in First John - Feels Like the First Time - Foreigner
6. Leviticus Can't Be Done - Little Miss Can't Be Wrong - The Spin Doctors
7. Noah Man - Nowhere Man - The Beatles
8. Makes Me Cranky - Hanky Panky - Tommy James and the Shondells
9. Selling the Dogma - Selling the Drama - Live
10. Role Never Changes - Roll with the Changes - REO Speedwagon
11. Lethargy - Refugee - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
12. Phony Ol' Lie - Lonely Ol' Night - John Cougar Mellencamp

Here are the lyrics:

Remember (Lot's Wife)
Parody of "December" performed by Collective Soul and written by Ed Roland
(Luke 17:31-32; Genesis 19:1-26; 2 Peter 2:7-10a, Romans 1:18-32)

Lot lived in Sodom's wonderland
But angels had to take Lot's hand
They told Lot, run far from this plain
You can't come here ever again

Don't turn around -- don't stick around
Turn your head, the angel said, Get thee out!
Don't worry 'bout those wicked towns
Turn your head, the angel said, Get thee out!
Oooh oooh oooh oooh -- Oooh oooh oooh oooh

They told Lot, flee to higher ground
Lot said, Can I stay where I am?
Not far away's a place to flee
Can I go to that city?

Don't turn around -- don't stick around
Turn your head, the angel said, Get thee out!
Don't worry 'bout those wicked towns
Turn your head, the angel said, Get thee out!
Oooh oooh oooh oooh -- Oooh oooh oooh oooh
Don't turn around -- don't stick around
Turn your head, the angel said, Get thee out!
Don't worry 'bout those wicked towns
Turn your head, the angel said, Get thee out!
Oooh oooh oooh oooh -- Oooh oooh oooh oooh

Remember Lot's wife she gazed backwardly
Remember with her the tragedy
Remember how she would suffer indeed
She turned to salt and no longer could flee
Oooh oooh oooh oooh
Remember Lot's wife she gazed backwardly
Remember with her the tragedy
Oooh oooh oooh oooh
These words were spoken to warn you and me
Jesus in Luke chapter 17

Oooh oooh oooh oooh
Remember Lot's wife she gazed backwardly
Don't turn around, don't stick around, turn your head the angel said, Get thee out
Remember with her the tragedy
Oooh oooh oooh oooh
Remember how she would suffer indeed
Don't worry 'bout those wicked towns, turn your head the angel said, Get thee out
She turned to salt and no longer could flee
Oooh oooh oooh oooh
Remember Lot's wife she gazed backwardly
Don't turn around, don't stick around, turn your head the angel said, Get thee out
Remember with her the tragedy
Oooh oooh oooh oooh
These words were spoken to warn you and me
Don't worry 'bout those wicked towns, turn your head the angel said, Get thee out
Jesus in Luke chapter 17

Luke 17:32
Remember Lot's wife.


Confiscated
Parody of "Complicated" performed by Avril Lavigne and written Avril Lavigne, Lauren Christy, Scott Spock & Graham Edwards
(1 Samuel 27:1-30:31)

Uh huh, life might twist
Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is
Yes, life might twist
Uh huh, uh huh, that's what David's did

Chill out what you jealous for?
Lay back King Saul, you've won the war
And if you would only let him be, you would see
David moved away, you are
Gettin' weird and drivin' him too far
And you're talking to a medium it's stupid-dumb
Somebody else will get all your wealth
You're under attack with troops turnin' back
Your pride had you fooled it looks like a cruel defeat

Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make things so tough for David?
I see the way you agonize when somebody else says he's their favorite
You sideswipe the issue
King Saul, you were tall, but your faith wasn't great
And you slipped and you're turning into
A chronically neurotic king -- you're never gonna finally change it
No, no, no

News comes over from the south
Guess what? He fights for someone else
David's army's with the enemy but wait and see
Map out where he strikes and goes
They've fought only Israel's foes
Truth told, David's fooling everyone
But when they're done
Somebody else has been where they dwelt
Took all that they had and moved on with that
Describe David's troops -- it looks like a mutiny

Yelling -- why'd you have to go and get our things all confiscated?
They scream at David, as we're fightin' somebody else I guess we was raided
Our wives and kids, too
It's your fault and we're all gonna take rocks and aim at your head
And we'll terminate you
Probably but honestly you'd better go and find them, David
Go, go, go go, (go) go (go) go
(Go) go (go) go, (go) go (go) go
Go go

Oooh
Chill out 'cause they're well insured
Came back with all they lost before
And with numerous amenities you can see
Somebody Else was givin' them help
And watchin' their backs it's truth and a fact
'Cause life can be cruel
The Good Lord is Who you need

Tell me why in Heaven God would make things go wrong for David
Go read First Samuel 29 and 30 yourself he gets reinstated
Life's got twists, too
This all tends to fall under 8:28
In the letter of Romans if you
Wanna see just what I mean you'd better go and find it, baby

Oh, bro
Why'd it have to go and take me so long to say it (yeah, yeah)
I see the way you're actin' like a Saul but you ought to just be a David
'Cause life might twist you
You'll fall if you're Saul and be safe if you're David
You've got to determine if you
Wanna be in unbelief forever or you've found your faith yet
Don't go, bro
1 Samuel 30:18-19
David recovered everything the Amalekites had taken, including his two wives. Nothing was missing: young or old, boy or girl, plunder or anything else they had taken. David brought everything back.


Ground Shook Here
Parody of "Brown Sugar" performed by The Rolling Stones and written by Mick Jagger & Keith Richards
(Numbers 16:1-50, Exodus 19:16-20:18, Isaiah 64:3)

Though both Dathan and Abiram feel
So many of them got a real raw deal
Our Lord saved us so we're doin' all right
Hear His 10 Commandments at the mountainside

The ground shook here how come you test your God, yeah heh
The ground shook here guess they misunderstood, uh huh, now (Whoa!)
Woo!

Dumb people groan and they snub God's laws
Dathan and his pals don't know when it's time to stop
Our boy Moses is doin' what's right
You should've heard his message -- now goodnight

The ground shook here and swallowed them for good now
The ground shook here just like a tiger would now
Hey!

SAX SOLO

Ahhhhhhh that said it all the ground shook here
Ground swallowed them for good yeah
Ahh, don't you see it now -- the ground shook here
Just like a black bear would

Ah now check in Numbers for the central scene
Get all the points in chapter sweet 16
Find God's rulebook so you know what He likes
You should have learned a lesson now -- get right

The ground shook here how come you test the Lord, yeah
Ahhhh, brothers -- the ground shook here just like a thunderstorm, yeah-eh

I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, woo! how come you, how come you test your God?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, woo! this landfill is where the bad folks stood
Yeah, yeah, yeah woo!

Numbers 16:31-32a
As soon as he finished saying all this, the ground under them split apart and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them and their households


Learning Blasphemies
Parody of "Turning Japanese" performed by The Vapors and written by David Fenton
(2 Timothy 2:15, 2 Peter 2:1-22, Hebrews 4:12, Proverbs 30:5-6, Deuteronomy 4:2, Revelation 22:18-19)

I've got the Scripture I read it through
The Lord above you He told me to
I'll still declare when there's nothing else that's true
Though at some college they tear it down
Their lies are hateful they're circus clowns
They call them Christians but they only mess around

I love the Scripture you got the picture
There's like a million Bibles up on my shelf
I learn the doctrines of sacred Scripture
So I can look at truth and divide it well
Because they're churning out some learned men
Who certainly aren't born again

They're learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so
Learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so
Learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so
Learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so

There's lot of preachers, who doubt the Scriptures
There's like a million guys who all deny Hell
Although they're doctors, and they can lecture
Go out and look at truth in Hebrews 4:12
Because they're churning out some learned men
Who certainly aren't born again

They're learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so
Learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so
Learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so
Learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so

No Text, no Judge, no Bible-livin'
No Son, no Sin, no Truth, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around there needs a personal Savior
Everyone avoids Him like an ice-cold graveyard everyone

That's why they're learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so
Learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so
Learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so
Learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so

Learning blasphemies, I think, at their academies
I really think so
Turn to Second Peter read the second chapter, please
I really think so
Learning blasphemies, they won't be learning that from me
I really think so (think so, think so, think so)
Turn to Second Timothy the verse is 2:15
I really think so

2 Peter 2:2
And many will follow their destructive ways, because of whom the way of truth will be blasphemed.


Feels Like in First John
Parody of "Feels like the First Time" performed by Foreigner and written by Mick Jones
(1 John 2:4-11, 2:18-27, 3:4-15, 4:1-6, 5:1-15; Colossians 2:4-23)

I would write an announcement
Rail on gnostic heresy
But back in the late First Century
He wrote out what you need to read
And I guess it's just the Word of His Truth
That brings out the enemy
I know I can't help myself
With knowledge and worthless deeds

It feels like in First John
It feels like we're there in First John
It feels like in First John
It feels like we're there in First John

5 verse 20's a nice line
And First John 4:2 and 3
He's God and He's man, too
Together -- it's a mystery
And I know that trusting the Word of His Truth
It brings life eternally
I know I have that myself
It's all in 5 verse 13

And it feels like in First John
Like they neeeever met the Lord
It feels like in First John
Like he'd spoken of before
It feels like in First John
Like in chapter three again
7 through 10

(It feels like in First John) It feels like in First John
(It feels like we're there in First John) Don't you know it feels
Oh, it feels like in First John
GUITAR

Open up the Book
Won't you open up the Book?
Yeah

It feels like in First John
It feels like we're there in First John
It feels like in First John
It feels like we're there in First John

And it feels like in First John
It feels like we're there in First John
Oh, it feels
Feels like in First John
Yeah, it feels like in First John
It feels like we're there in First John

1 John 5:13
I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.


Leviticus Can't Be Done
Parody of "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" performed and written by The Spin Doctors
(Leviticus 18:5; Galatians 3:10-14; Romans 5:12-14, 10:4-13; Ezekiel 20:13-25)

It's been a while lot easier since the switch went down
We've been a whole lot happier to have His grace abound
Nobody understands what the Law's about
Nobody out there back then could've shown that Law lived out
You know there's not one now who does the Law
There was one Man made it work and He's the Son of God
It seems a whole lot easier to believe this Son
Leviticus -- it a-just it a-just can't be done

Leviticus -- it a-just it a-just can't be done, yeah
Ain't nobody who can follow those laws without stumblin' once
Leviticus -- it a-just it a-just can't be done
What you gotta do -- to get into Heaven
Is believe in God's only Son

All the Hebrew laws the ancients handed down
Wouldn't be so bad if sin it weren't around
You do so well on Bible tests or do ya?
Break certain rules, brother, and you flunk the rest

Leviticus -- it a-just it a-just can't be done, yeah
Ain't nobody who can follow those laws without stumblin' once
Leviticus -- it a-just it a-just can't be done
What you gotta do -- to get into Heaven
Is believe in God's only Son

Yeah, yeah, can't be done, oh, no, no
Can't be done
Oh, it can't be done, it can't be done, can't be done, no, no, no

I quote Leviticus I've got a favorite spot
I know you've heard this one in the Epistles a lot
That 18th chapter -- open to verse 5
And if I had St. Paul here, he might give you my advice

Leviticus -- it a-just it a-just can't be done, yeah
Ain't nobody who can follow those laws without stumblin' once
Leviticus -- it a-just it a-just can't be done
What you gotta do -- to get into Heaven
Is believe in God's only Son

Oh oh
Leviticus -- it a-just it a-just it-a-just can't be done, no, no
No, no, no, no, no
Romans 10 read along
Galatians 3, honey, it can't be done
Ohhhh -- Leviticus -- it a-just it a-just it-a-just can't be done, no
Oh oh oh oh oh (it can't be done)
Leviticus -- it a-just it a-just it-a-just can't be done, no
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Ohhhhhhhhh

Leviticus 18:5
Keep my decrees and laws, for the person who obeys them will live by them. I am the LORD.


Noah Man
Parody of "Nowhere Man" performed by The Beatles and written by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
(Genesis 6:1-7:24; 2 Peter 2:5; Hebrews 11:7)

He's a real Noah man sitting in his boat on land
Making all his Noah plans with no flooding
Doesn't have a port in view no spot for his floating zoo
Doesn't seem to fit like you and me

Noah man (Aaah la la la la)
Please listen (Aaah la la la la)
We don't know (Aaah la la la la)
What you're sniffin' (Aaah la la la la)
Noah man (Aaah la la la la)
The world is not gonna end (Aaaaah aah la la la la la)
LEAD

We're as dry as we can be -- check these flood-free rocks and trees
Noah man can you see rain at all?

Noah man (Aaah la la la la)
Don't worry (Aaah la la la la)
Rain or shine (Aaah la la la la)
Snow flurries (Aaah la la la la)
Thorough it all (Aaah la la la la)
The sun's coming out to give you a tan (Aaaaah aah la la la la la)

Mustn't hand him pointy tools Noah's gotten weird; he's so uncool
Yes indeed he just might drool on me

Noah man (Aaah la la la la)
These Christians (Aaah la la la la)
They don't know (Aaah la la la la)
What they're missin' (Aaah la la la la)
Noah man (Aaah la la la la)
The world is not gonna end (Aaaaah aah la la la la la)

Please get real, Noah, man sitting in this boat on land
Makin' all these Noah plans -- you're so funny
Maybe y'all ain't noticed, man, it's so sunny
Rain ain't fallin' nowhere and there's no flooding

2 Peter 2:5
... if he did not spare the ancient world when he brought the flood on its ungodly people, but protected Noah, a preacher of righteousness, and seven others ...


Makes Me Cranky
Parody of "Hanky Panky" performed by Tommy James & the Shondells and written by Jeff Barry & Ellie Greenwich
(Genesis 37:1-36)

My baby brother makes me cranky
Yeah, my baby brother makes me cranky
My baby brother makes me cranky
My baby brother makes me cranky
Hey, my baby brother makes me cranky

My baby brother makes me cranky (yeah)
Yeah, my baby brother makes me cranky
Hey, my baby brother makes me cranky
My baby brother makes me cranky
Hey, my baby brother makes me cranky

I saw him walkin' all proud and fine (yeah)
You know my brother is the very worst kind
A little tattletale and we call him "Joe"
He's daddy's favorite in a great new coat
I'd better stop him, yes, sir, he's a problem

My baby brother makes me angry
Yeah, my baby brother makes me angry
My baby brother makes me angry
My baby brother makes me angry
My baby brother makes me angry
LEAD

I saw him talkin' about the time (yeah)
He dreamed he saw us all up there in the sky
And then 11 stars and the sun and moon
Bowed to the favorite and they played his tune
We'd better stop this, yes, sir, he's obnoxious

Hey, my baby brother makes me cranky
Yeah, my baby brother makes me cranky
My baby brother makes me cranky
My baby brother makes me cranky
My baby brother makes me cranky

Yeah, my baby brother makes me cranky
My baby brother makes me cranky
Yeah, my baby brother makes me cranky

Genesis 37:4
When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.


Selling the Dogma
Parody of "Selling the Drama" performed by Live and written by Ed Kowalczyk & Live
(John 8:31-32, 1 Corinthians 15:3-8, 2 John 1:9, 2 Timothy 1:9-10, 2 Peter 1:16-21)

And the love of God has appeared in flesh
Came to earth the Christ of Nazareth
And He died for all and redeemed the Fall
It is known through Peter, John and Paul
He healed and taught and bled and bought
Our souls -- and rose and lives evermore

Heyyy-ey-ey! Now we'll all be raised
Hey-ey-ey! If we don't discard that fact
Hey-ey-ey! Now we'll all be saved
Hey-ey-ey! If we'll all be smart like that

And the Son they spurned yes, He will return
He's the Way so sing "Amazing Grace"
And for Christ the cross was the means to bear
All our sins and earn the ransom for us there
He's man and God, I've read the plot
He knows the road He's been there before

Heyyy-ey-ey! Now we'll all be raised
Hey-ey-ey! If we don't discard that fact
Hey-ey-ey! Now we'll all be saved
Hey-ey-ey! Now because He's scarred like that scarred like that
Hey, I, hey, I, hey, I, hey I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
Woo hoo -- hoo -- hoo hoo

For the love of God if you fear the flames
Then you'll turn and call His blessed name
The will of God is save the lost
I know, I know I've been there before

Heyyy-ey-ey! Now we'll all be raised
Hey-ey-ey! If we don't discard that fact
Hey-ey-ey! Now we'll all be saved
Hey-Hey-ey! If we don't discard that fact
Hey, hey, now nowww, yeah
Woo woo oo hey now (We won't discard that fact)
Woo woo oo hey now (We won't discard that fact)
Woo hooooo!

John 8:31-32
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."


Role Never Changes
Parody of "Roll with the Changes" performed by REO Speedwagon and written by Kevin Cronin
(John 10:10; Hebrews 7:11:28, 10:10, 13:8)

As soon as Cain and Abel -- well, we find men killing
'Cause Satan hates that we are all God thinks of
The Bible's on the table while blood is spilling
Waiting here for you to take and pick up

So if you're tired of old Satan's story
Ohhhh, turn from rages
All we have is just one enemy
Whose role never changes yeah-eh yeah-eh
Woo!

Christ knew what had to happen fought the terrible serpent
God went through man's darkest hour
He heard that some were laughin' felt the nails that hurt him
Our guilt was poured on Him as the sweet turned sour

So He expired but He came in glory
Ohhhh returned from the grave, yes
Now He is our priest forever
His role never changes ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhnh yeah-eh
Woo!

Sooooooo-oh-oh-oh if you're tired of unstable moorings
Oh, Hebrews, 13:8 says
Christ is the same forever
His role never changes
Baby role never changes
Oh, you know, you know, you know He's got to

(Keep us holy) Oh yeah (Keep us holy -- oooo oooo ooo)
Ohhhhhh His role never changes
Keep us holy
(Keep us holy) Oh yeah-eh-eh (Keep us holy -- oooo oooo ooo)
Ohhhhhh that role never changes
Oh, ba-a-aby
(Keep us holy) Oh ba-a-aby (Keep us holy -- oooo oooo ooo)
Oh, He's got to 'cause His role never changes
Got to, got to, got to, got to keep us holy
(Keep us holy) got to keep us (Keep us holy -- oooo oooo ahhhhhhhh)
Oh, He sought you and He bought you but you've got turn to God

Keep us holy, keep us holy -- ooo ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Keep us holy, keep us holy -- ooo ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Keep us holy, keep us holy -- ooo ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Keep us holy, keep us holy -- ooooooh ooooooh ahhhhhhhhh

Hebrews 7:23-24
Now there have been many of those priests, since death prevented them from continuing in office; but because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood.


Lethargy
Parody of "Refugee" performed by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers and written by Tom Petty & Mike Campbell
(Ephesians 5:13-14, Romans 13:11-14)

He's God's Son and we both know it -- we don't talk too much about it
Ain't no real big seeker, all you say is sometime you may get around to it
Listen, if you're getting madder at me, saying
You believe what you want to believe
I say, you don't have to live life in lethargy (Don't have to live life in lethargy)

Some folks slumber so bad they must get -- kicked to arouse them
Tell me why you would lay there and dwell in a burnin' mansion
Honey, if you take those Scriptures and read, baby
Every Bible's got a 5:14 Ephesians
Sayin' you don't have to life in lethargy (Don't have to live life in lethargy)
Now, baby, you don't have to life in lethargy (Don't have to live life in lethargy)
Oh!

Maybe we ain't in church
I'm sure a lot of us will go there in a hearse
Right now this ain't real to you, but it ain't
One of those things you got to feel to be truuuuuuuuuuuue

Some folks slumber so bad they must get -- kicked to arouse them
Who knows maybe you need a six pack of Starbucks, bacon and eggs
To help and then some
Honey, check Romans in chapter 13:11
Everybody has to fight the big sleep
I said you don't have to life in lethargy (Don't have to live life in lethargy)
No, you don't have to life in lethargy (Don't have to live life in lethargy)
Baby, you don't have to life in lethargy (Don't have to live life in lethargy)
Oh, oh, oh!

Ephesians 5:13-14
But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."


Phony Ol' Lie
Parody of "Lonely Ol' Night" performed and written by John Cougar Mellencamp
(Proverbs 14:12, John 8:44, Ephesians 6:11)

They call this stuff a New Age, but it's a phony ol' lie
I don't know that Heaven's where those roads lead all at the same time
Nobody's holy we ain't goin' there without His grace
No, no, no, no, no
It's just plain foolish to work it out in our own way

It's a phony ol' lie
Better put your armor on you
It's a phony ol' lie
Custom-made to fool all the people that need the truth

Radio stations shock me some are bringin' some psychics on
Speakin' 'bout family, friends, and matters of love
For guests who feel lost and alone
They say they know exactly what we need
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I get a bad, bad, bad, bad feeling
What they're givin' out though isn't free, and it don't pay

It's a phony ol' lie
Better put your armor on you
It's a phony ol' lie
Custom-made to fool all the people that need the truth
Hey!

They call me crazy they called every prophet crazy
It's a phony old lie it ain't changed at all

It's a phony ol' lie
Better put your armor on you
It's a phony ol' lie
Custom-made to fool all the people that need the truth
Yeah!
It's a phony ol' lie
Better put your armor on you
It's a phony ol' lie
Custom-made to fool all the people that need the truth
Yeah, that need the truth
Yeah, that need the truth
Hey!

Proverbs 14:12
There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.