Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums
as of January 17, 2018

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01.16.18New Single (80s & 90s)
01.10.18ApX Lead Singer on ESPN Again This Weekend
01.10.18Fan Will Match Donations Up to $5000
01.10.18You Don't Need to Be in the USA to Enjoy Our USB
01.10.18Clues for Our Second Single of 2018
01.08.18Get All Our Parodies on USB
01.08.181100 Tracks for $100
01.08.18New CD BOGO Ends Sunday
01.04.18California Fan Comments on New CD
01.04.182017: The Year in Review for ApologetiX
01.04.18The Stories Behind the Songs on Our New Single
01.02.18How to Donate & How to Get Multiple MP3s
01.02.18Get Multiple Downloads for Any Size Donation
01.02.18New Single for a New Year
01.02.18BOGO Special on New CD Ends Sunday
12.31.17Get Multiple Downloads for Any Size Donation
12.28.17Buy Our 50th CD, Get 1 of 26 CDs Free
12.28.17Get Our Complete Library on USB
12.28.17How to Donate Online or By Mail
12.28.17Shirts in Stock in Seven Sizes
12.28.17Clues for Our Last Single of 2017
12.21.17ApX Christmas Videos on YouTube
12.21.17After the Gift Rush: What if You Order Now?
12.21.17ApX Inspires Fan Who Then Inspires ApX
12.21.17New Single: 2 from Our 25th Anniversary Show
12.18.17New CD in Stock, Order Today for Christmas
12.14.17How to Donate & How to Get Multiple MP3s
12.14.17So is it Alexa-getiX or Apol-alexa?
12.14.17Clues for This Weekend's Single
12.14.17What's New on the New CD?
12.14.17Complete Your ApX Christmas Playlist
12.14.17Deadlines for Delivery Before Christmas
12.07.17The Story Behind the Title of Our New CD
12.05.17ApX Alum Becomes Amazon Prince
12.04.17Buy Our 50th CD, Get 1 of 26 CDs Free
11.29.17The Stories Behind Our New Single
11.29.17Update on Our Upcoming 50th CD
11.27.17ApX Needs Holiday Help & Prayers
11.27.17New Single: American-Made 70's & 90's Hits
11.23.17Get Ready for Our 50th CD
11.23.17Thanksgiving Song and Video for You
11.23.17Clues for Our Next Single
11.23.17Fan Says Thanks for "Thankfully" Song & Video
11.21.17Thanksgiving Message for Fans
11.17.17New Single Spoofs British Invasion Bands
11.17.17Tinch Gets Married & Celebrates Anniversary
11.17.17ApX Songbook Useful While Awaiting Auto Repairs
11.17.17Trunk or Treat with ApX Near Harrisburg PA
11.17.17ApX Over the Office Airwaves in Ohio
11.15.17Tinch Celebrates His ApX Anniversary
11.13.17New CD Deal Ends This Wkd (BOGO)
11.10.17ApX Adventures in Odyssey: Mag Makes Mention
11.10.17Steffi's Story: 12 Years of ApX in AZ
11.09.17Cluing You in on Our Next Single
11.07.17New CD Deal Ends Soon
11.02.17New Single Spoofs '69 & '71 Hits
11.02.17Texas Praise Band Plays ApX for Church
11.02.17ApX Affects Radio Request Line in TN
11.02.17Live Moose: ApX Alum to Host Benefit Show Saturday
10.29.17Jimmy "Vegas"Celebrates a Dozen Years with ApX
10.27.17The Late Great Next ApX Single Due This Weekend
10.26.17What's Up with the 25th Anniversary CD & DVD?
10.26.17New USBs with Complete Library in Stock
10.26.17Fan Mail from a Family of 10 in Alaska
10.21.17Amazing Testimony from a Fan's Son in AZ
10.21.17Michigan Men Go to Green Bay for ApX Experience
10.21.17From Foster Care to Adoption to ApologetiX
10.21.17What You Need to Know About Our Next Single
10.20.17San Antonio Pastor Encourages ApX
10.20.17What Songs Are on the New CD?
10.13.17From a Dad in Connecticut
10.13.17Amazing Things God is Doing in Iran
10.13.17A Tribute to ApX Friend Millie Gerbo
10.12.17ApologetiX in Green Bay Saturday (25th Anniversary)
10.12.17From a Foster Mom in Colorado
10.11.17ApX Alum Drummer Needs Alabama Musicians
10.10.17Buy Our Next CD, Get 1 of 25 CDs Free
10.07.17The Title and Theme of Our Upcoming 49th CD
10.06.17Next Saturday: ApX 25th Anniv. Concert Midwest
10.06.17Join J. & Jimmy for a Special Show This Sunday
10.06.17New Single Spoofs The Cars & The Raspberries
10.04.17New Single, Help & Prayer Needed
09.29.171050 Tracks for 100 Bucks Ends Saturday
09.29.17Help & Prayer Needed
09.28.17Clues for Our Next Single
09.26.17The Latest News from the Man Called Moose
09.25.17Half Off CDs, MP3s & DVDs Ends Saturday
09.25.17Half Off & 1050 Tracks Deals End Saturday
09.20.17This Looks Like a Job for an ApX Fan
09.18.17New Single Spoofs 70's & 80's
09.17.17New Single Spoofs Tunes from '70 & '83
09.14.17Clues for Our Upcoming Single
09.14.17Powerlifter Pumps Up ApX with Encouragement
09.01.17Encouraging Emails: Eight is Enough
08.29.17Is There a Missing Churchigo EP?
08.28.17New Single Here at Last
08.26.1725th Anniversary Lapel Pins Now Available
08.26.17Anniversary Shirts Available at Last
08.26.17New CD BOGO Sale Ends Sunday Night
08.26.17About This Weekend's Single

ApologetiX in GA, 2 New CDs, 2 New Clues
Thu., Dec. 11. 2003 10:28pm EST

Karl Messner, lead guitarist and producer for ApologetiX (That Christian Parody Band) here as your guest host this week, with a little editing from ApologetiX lead singer and lyricist J. Jackson.

Lots of news for you:

1. Saturday: FREE Concert in Georgia: New Time/Location (Pick Up "Adam Up")
2. "Adam Up" Progress Report
3. Crazy Christmas Sale: Special CD, Autographed Poster, More
4. "Adam Up" Clues #19 & 20


SATURDAY, DECEMBER 13, 2003 at 5:00 PM
Tickets are now FREE
Sponsored by Radio WAES/WBJY Radio - AGT Communications
New Covenant Church 2167
Whiddon Mill Road
Tifton, GA 31793

Yeah, you read that right. The Georgia concert this weekend is still on, but it's been moved closer to Atlanta, and it's also now a FREE concert. What's more, it looks like "Adam Up" will be available at the concert!

We found out yesterday (after it was announced on the radio) that the concert in Georgia was canceled. I got on the phone, and let's just say it's un-canceled ;)

What happened was this: the concert was going to happen at the same time as another huge Christian Music even in town that they didn't know about, AND it was going to happen in the same civic center as a monster truck and tractor pull - the largest drawing event of the year for them. They wanted to reschedule the concert to March, refund the tickets to all the people who bought their ticket so far in advance, and give those folks free tickets to the March show, as an apology.

The announcement was made, and the tear-stained emails started pouring in to us. Now, we'd already made all the arrangements on OUR end, and we had bought our plane ticket$ (I don't use the word "fare" anymore talking about plane tickets, because it might sound like "fair") and we were fully ready to go. I told them "well, we're coming anyway - let's find or make a way." So, here's what we did. We set up a NEW concert at the beautiful New Covenant Church in Tifton, GA (even closer to Atlanta) and we set it for 5 p.m. so those folks who want to make the 8 p.m. event across town, can. And we'll hang and talk with the folks that can stick around with us. Maybe find a Denny's.

Now, we're still going to come back in March, but this is a special treat- we want folks to bring all their unsaved friends, and a few of their saved friends, so we're making the show free.

And I just talked to the factory in Texas and they're starting to ship to warehouses around the country, but they're going to try to FedEx me a bunch to have in Georgia to sell, so, as a total surprise treat, some of our Southern friends. Road trip! This will be the only concert before Christmas where "Adam Up" is on sale.


Just about all of you know by now that our upcoming CD, "Adam Up," was originally due out at Thanksgiving, but has been delayed several weeks. Last week, we told you that we weren't sure if your local store would have it in time for Christmas. We're still not sure what stores will have it when, but we are pleased to report that our duplicator is actually going to start shipping "Adam Up" CDs from the factory today, December 11, and some stores may even have them in stock by the end of next week.

We can't guarantee that your local store will have it next week or even before Christmas, but if they do have it before Christmas, it won't be until at least the latter part of next week or the earlier part of the following week. Please don't start asking your local store if they have "Adam Up" in stock until at least the latter part of next week, because they can't do anything to get it there any faster. And once the time comes to start asking, please be patient and courteous. After all, those stores have been patient and courteous with us while waiting for us to send them the CD, and we want to be the same way with them.

We're sorry this CD has taken so long, but we promise you it will be worth the wait! You may still be able to get it time for Christmas, but there are still other ApologetiX gift options for Christmas, including a CD that no ApologetiX fan has been able to own until this past week. And that brings us to our next item.


We are offering a few special items for a limited time only as part of our Christmas fundraiser. These are items you can't buy in stores and they're great gift ideas for the ApologetiX fan who already has every CD from "Radical History Tour" through "Grace Period." What's more, you can order these items via check or money order or through Pay Pal, which allows you to use your credit card or your ATM card.

We introduced this sale in last week's email, and we're amazed at how many of you have already taken advantage of it. We did receive emails from some of you who were unable to get the link to work when you clicked on it. It seems that the link worked with certain Internet service providers and not with others. No worry. If your Internet service doesn't take you anywhere when you to click this link, just copy and paste it into the address section on your Internet browser:


This poster is 19" x 13" and printed in full-color on glossy, sturdy cover stock, autographed by all four band members and suitable for framing. Among other things, it features large individual photos of all four band members, plus a photo of all of us together. It's the same poster we use to promote our real concerts; however in addition to having the band members sign it, we will personalize it to you or to the person you designate. Sale price: $15 each

You can see what it looks like for yourself and order it, too Just click on this link or (if your Internet service doesn't allow you to click this link) copy and paste it into the address section on your Internet browser:


For many years, ApologetiX fans have been begging us to re-release some of the music we put out on cassette before "Radical History Tour." Actually, we released a series of cassettes in the old days, and "Radical History Tour" was the last and the best in the series. As it is, "Radical History Tour" has its share of warts, but we know it's very popular with our fans. I get requests for the lyrics all the time.

In the meantime, we just noticed that it's the tenth anniversary of the release of "Isn't Wasn't Ain't (in the Bible)," the last cassette we released before "Radical History Tour" and our first professionally mass-produced cassette (1,000 whole copies :) It was significantly better than the cassettes we had released before it, but not as good as "Radical History Tour," which came out a year later in August 1994. Our goal has always been to make each successive album better than the one before it, and many of you have noticed that. Consequently, we've been hesitant to re-release "Isn't Wasn't Ain't" on CD, because we didn't want it to be the first taste of ApologetiX for a new listener. However, we know that many of you already have everything else we've released and are eager for more.

We'd hoped to satisfy that desire for new material with the release of "Adam Up," but now that "Adam Up" may be hitting your local store Christmas week, and some stores may not put it out till after Christmas, we wanted to make sure we had some "new" ApologetiX parodies. So we've remastered a CD version of "Isn't Wasn't Ain't," complete with a very cool-looking label. Like our "Have Yourself a Parody Little Christmas," this CD does not have a CD booklet (tracks are listed on the label) and is not available in stores. It's something we're making available especially for our email newsletter fans.

The "Isn't Wasn't Ain't" CD features 18 tracks in all. In order to fit the project on CD (cassettes can run longer than CDs, which are limited to 74-80 minutes), we had delete a few of the parodies that were on the original (two of them have since been re-done with new titles and lyrics on "Jesus Christ Morningstar" and "Adam Up," so we didn't want the old versions confusing things). We replaced those songs with two tracks that were on the original "Radical History Tour" cassette but didn't fit on the CD. I've seen those two tracks floating around on the Internet, so I know that they're popular with our fans, so we figured we might as well make them available on CD.

For those of you who have been begging us for Guns n' Roses parodies, and more Beatles, Beach Boys, Led Zeppelin, Doobie Brothers, Van Halen and Elvis, your time has finally come! You'll also get to hear our takes on John Cougar Mellencamp, Bad Company, Tesla, and even George Michael! Here's a complete track listing:

Isn't Wasn't Ain't ("Livin' Lovin' Maid" by Led Zeppelin)
David and Goliath ("Paperback Writer" by the Beatles)
Lions ("Signs" by Five Man Electrical Band and Tesla)
Patients ("Patience" by Guns n' Roses)
Help Me, Rhoda ("Help Me, Rhonda" by the Beach Boys)
That Daughter ("Black Water" by the Doobie Brothers)
Little Esther ("Little Sister" by Elvis Presley)
Don't Try ("Don't Cry" by Guns n' Roses)
I Found the Answer There ("I Saw Her Standing There" by the Beatles)
Be Like David Was ("Feel Like Makin' Love" by Bad Company)
Ain't That a Miracle ("Pink Houses" by John Cougar Mellencamp)
Faith Pt. 2 ("Faith" by George Michael)
Christians Doin' Music ("Listen to the Music" by the Doobie Brothers)
What is and Will Forever Be ("What is
What Should Never Be" by Led Zeppelin)
Matthew 9 ("I Feel Fine" by the Beatles)
He Really Got Mad ("You Really Got Me" by the Kinks and Van Halen)
Love Ain't Nothin' ("Long Train Running" by the Doobie Brothers)
Verynice City ("Paradise City" by Guns
n' Roses)

Sale price: $15 each

For more info, click on this link or (if your Internet service doesn't allow you to click this link) copy and paste it into the address section on your Internet browser:

SPECIAL "ADAM UP" MASTER CD We're doing our first Ebay auction, and it's a special master copy of "Adam Up," giving you the chance to hear and own "Adam Up" before it hits the stores. There's even more to this offer, but you have to check out the website yourself to get all the details.

For more info, click on this link or (if your Internet service doesn't allow you to click this link) copy and paste it into the address section on your Internet browser:

This auction was only started last week, and we've been astounded by the interest it has generated. There are only three days left to bid, and winner will get their CD before even have it in stock, and it's one of three masters in existence (one's at the factory, and one's in a vault.) It's professionally mounted on Library of Congress-approved acid free matting, with UV protected glass, etc. to last and last. Check it out:

$7 SALE CDs We have a limited supply of CDs with cracked cases that we are selling at a greatly reduced price, and many of you have already taken advantage of this sale, which we have been running from time to time this year. All seven of our titles are available. All of the CDs and booklets are in perfect shape. The cases are in various degrees of disrepair, some are in near-perfect shape while some don't even have cases, but all of them have the CD, the booklet and the tray card, so all you need is a CD case in good condition. One of the band members will autograph all of the cracked CDs to help make up for the broken cases. If we run out of broken cases, we will substitute with brand new CDs still in the shrinkwrap (not autographed, though). For a limited time only, we are making them available to our e-mail subscribers for $7 each.

CHRISTMAS CD We are also making our "Have Yourself a Parody Little Christmas" CD available on this website. The CD includes the following songs:

1. "Micah No. 5" -
Parody of "Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega
2. "Late December 5 or 6 B.C. (Oh Holy Night)" -
Parody of "December 1963 (Oh What a Night)" by the Four Seasons
3. "Santa Claus" (It's not what you think, though) -
Parody of "Panama" by Van Halen
4. "Hotel Can't Afford Ya" (Newly recorded version) -
Parody of "Hotel California" by the Eagles
5. "Manger" (same version as "Keep the Change") -
Parody of "Angel" by Shaggy with Rayvon
6. "Christmasnite" (same version as "Keep the Change") -
Parody of "Kryptonite" by Three Doors Down

You can order the CDs online now with your credit card or ATM card now through Pay Pal, or you can order by mail. For more info, click on this link or (if your Internet service doesn't allow you to click this link) copy and paste it into the address section on your Internet browser:

4. "ADAM UP" CLUES #19 & 20

Our upcoming CD, "Adam Up" features 22 Biblical parodies of both classic and modern rock songs. We're continuing our tradition of giving clues about the songs before the CD is released.

There's even a special webpage for you that includes the clues we've given thus far, the cover artwork, and more. Here's the link, especially for you:

Here are two new clues:

Clue #19
I'm Gonna Feed (500 Mouths) An eyewitness account of Christ's feeding of the 5000. The song we're spoofing here actually hit the Top 25 on Billboard's Modern Rock charts in the late 1980's, but it didn't hit Billboard's pop charts until four years later, making it either an 80's hit or a 90's hit, depending on what radio station you were listening to. And if you missed it both times on the radio, the song experienced another resurgence in a beer commercial a few years ago during NFL football games. It was also featured in a popular Johnny Depp movie. C'mon, with all these clues, who needs Scotland Yard? You're on your way.

Clue #20
Called My Wife One of the most powerful songs on "Adam Up," and one of the reasons we decided on that name for the CD. In this parody, Adam talks to his sons Cain and Abel about the Fall in an effort to keep them from making the same mistakes he did. By the end of the song, however, his worst fears are realized, as Cain returns from the field without Abel. As far as the original song goes, we've spoofed this band before on a previous CD, and we've spoofed their lead singer's previous band, too. In fact, we did both bands on the same CD. This is a call for you to put on your thinking caps and dig out all ApologetiX CDs in your collection.



-- Karl Messner Lead Guitarist/Producer ApologetiX (That Christian Parody Band)

Romans 5:3-5
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.