Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums
60,940
as of March 22, 2023

<< Back to the fan club


Search Past News:

Sort by Relevance Date

Yesterday's News:

03.21.23The Stories Behind the Songs on This Single
03.20.23New Single: '76 & '85
03.20.23This Week's News Bulletin
03.20.23Get Multiple Downloads for One Donation
03.20.23New USB Thumb Drives Now in Stock
03.20.23Get Over 1550 Tracks for $100
03.20.23How to Get the ApX Library, USBs, Songbook, Etc.
03.18.23ApX on Hour-Long Live Webcast Next Tuesday
03.18.23ApologetiX Radio Show Celebrates Five Years
03.18.23How to Donate Online or by Mail
03.17.23Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
03.17.23This Week's Bible Reading
03.17.23New ApX Apparel Designs + Mugs, Stickers & More
03.17.23Influential Albums: 1038-1044
03.15.23Clues for 2023 Single #6
03.13.23ApX Easter Week Playlist
03.11.23ApX Alum Drummer Becomes a First-Time Grandpa
03.10.23A Letter from J. About the Letter J
03.10.23Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
03.10.23Influential Albums: 1031-1037
03.09.23The Stories Behind the Songs on This Single
03.06.23This Week's News Bulletin
03.06.23New Single: '68 & '70
03.04.23New ApX Songbook (1992-2022) is Here
03.04.23Influential Albums: 1024-1030
03.03.23Fan Follows Up on Last Week's Big Music Article
03.03.23Nice Notes from Bible-Readers
03.03.23Over 400 ApX Live Videos Together in One Place
03.03.23Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
02.25.23Music: The Sacred, the Secular, and the Subjective
02.24.23ApologetiX in Places You Wouldn't Expect
02.23.23Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
02.23.23Influential Albums: 1017-1023
02.21.23The Stories Behind the Songs on This Single
02.20.23This Week's News Bulletin
02.20.23New Single:'65 & '88
02.17.23Serious Prayer Request from Wichita KS
02.17.23Influential Albums: 1010-1016
02.16.23Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
02.11.23How Did J. Meet His Wife?
02.11.23Fan Follows Up on "Ask God" With His Own Story
02.11.23The Numbers Behind the Songs on This Single
02.11.23Influential Albums: 1003-1009
02.10.23The Stories Behind the Songs on This Single
02.10.23Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
02.06.23New Single: '71 & '79
02.06.23This Week's News Bulletin
02.04.23Question Evolution Day Coming Soon
02.03.23Influential Albums: 996-1002
02.03.23Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
01.27.23Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
01.27.23This Week's Bible-Reading & Rock Thru the Bible
01.26.23ApologetiX Keyboardist Thankful to Still Be Alive
01.26.23Influential Albums: 989-995
01.24.23The Stories Behind the Songs on This Single
01.23.23This Week's News Bulletin
01.23.23New Single: '67 & '72
01.21.23ApologetiX Needs Help and Prayer
01.21.23Encouraging Messages from 20 Fans in 15 States
01.21.23Fans React to "Stupendous" New Songbook
01.20.23Influential Albums: 982-988
01.20.23Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
01.16.23This Week's News Bulletin
01.15.2330th Anniversary Challenge Coins Back in Stock
01.14.23Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
01.14.23Influential Albums: 975-981
01.13.23The Stories Behind the Songs on This Single
01.13.23New CD BOGO Ends Sunday Night
01.10.23This Week's News Bulletin
01.10.23New Single: '83 & '87
01.07.23Update on Songbook and Other Projects
01.07.23Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
01.07.23Influential Albums: 968-974
12.30.22Influential Albums: 961-967
12.30.22Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
12.28.22This Week's News Bulletin
12.28.22Over 1500 Tracks for $100
12.24.22The Stories Behind the Songs on Single #24
12.23.22New Christmas Single
12.23.22Influential Albums: 954-960
12.23.22Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
12.17.22Influential Albums: 947-953
12.17.22Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
12.17.22What's on Our Brand-New CD?
12.12.22This Week's News Bulletin
12.12.22Buy Our Next CD, Get 1 of 37 Free
12.08.22Influential Albums: 940-946
12.08.22This Week's Bible-Reading & Rock Thru the Bible
12.08.22The Stories Behind the Songs on Single #23
12.08.22ApologetiX Christmas Playlist + Two More on the Way
12.05.22This Week's News Bulletin
12.05.22New Single: '82 & '07
12.03.22Influential Albums: 933-939
12.03.22Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
12.03.22Bible-Reading Update for Next Two Weeks
12.03.22Keith Haynie Become a Grandfather Again
11.29.22This Week's News Bulletin
11.24.22Influential Albums: 926-932
11.23.22New CD BOGO Ends Saturday
11.23.22Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week

Rock Thru the Bible with ApX This Week
Fri., Jan. 27. 2023 7:39pm EST

In April 2022, we introduced a new feature called "Rock Thru the Bible." Our friend David Michael has been making lists of ApX parodies to go with each week's readings. He's also been creating playlists of corresponding lyric videos for them on YouTube. You can find those video playlists at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt2lHtRV1wziK5v4xYKu9Qw/featured

Here are all the entries for the coming week:


Sat., Jan. 28 - Mark 4-6

Chapter 4

3 "Garden My Heart" (found on Quilt), parody of "Harden My Heart" by Quarterflash
3 "Jewish Farm" (found on Sandwich Platter), parody of "Junior's Farm" by Wings
4 "Wherever You Will Sow" (found on Classics: Lite), parody of "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling
11 "Wish You Could Hear" (found on Soundproof), parody of "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd
22 "The Stuff That God'll Watch" (found on Churchigo III EP), parody of "The Stuff You Gotta Watch" by Joe Bonamassa
33 "Parable Guy" (found on Classics: Lite), parody of "American Pie" by Don McLean
36 "Swimmer" (found on Classics: Heavy), parody of "Slither" by Velvet Revolver
39 "God and I Know" (found on Vision Gets Clearer As We Get Closer), parody of "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex

Chapter 5

13 "Handle With Prayer" (found on Nichey), parody of "Handle with Care" by The Traveling Wilburys
24 "Shovin', Crushin', Squeezin'" (found on Recovery), parody of "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'" by Journey
25 "She's Got Cooties" (found on That's Too Bad), parody of "She's a Beauty" by The Tubes
41 "Wake Up Talitha Cumi" (found on Classics: Oldies), parody of "Wake Up Little Susie" by The Everly Brothers

Chapter 6

4 "Look Yourself" (found on Classics: 2000's), parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem
5 "You're So Plain" (found on Loaded 45s), parody of "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon
28 "Shoestring Tie-er" (found on The Boys Aren't Backin' Down), parody of "Shooting Star" by Bad Company
31 "Can't Eat Enough" (found on Classics: 70's), parody of "Can't Get Enough" by Bad Company
33 "I'm Gonna Feed (500 Mouths)" (found on Classics: 90's), parody of "I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)" by The Proclaimers


Sun., Jan. 29 - Mark 7-9

Chapter 7

6 "Superficial" (found on Classics: 70's, Vol. 2), parody of "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder
18 "Tasty Plants" (found on Very Vicarious), parody of "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats
22 "Temple Physician" (found on Alien Invasion), parody of "Pinball Wizard" by Elton John
32 "The Spittle" (found on Classics: 2000's), parody of "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World

Chapter 8

1 "A Day in the Loaf (2019)" (found on Sandwich Platter), parody of "A Day in the Life" by The Beatles
11 "Some Sign from Above" (found on Singles Group), parody of "Sunshine of Your Love" by Cream
15 "Rollin' in the Yeast" (found on Singles Group), parody of "Reelin' in the Years" by Steely Dan
34 "Crossloads" (found on Nichey), parody of "Crossroads" by Cream
36 "Gain in Vain (Can't Buy Me)" (found on Vision Gets Clearer As We Get Closer), parody of "Train In Vain (Stand By Me)" by The Clash
38 "Midlife Confession" (found on Conspiracy No. 56), parody of "Midnight Confessions" by The Grass Roots

Chapter 9

2 "Heavenly Hill" (found on Classics: 2000's), parody of "Beverly Hills" by Weezer
14 "Come on, Heal the Boy" (found on Music Is As Music Does), parody of "Cum on Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot
42 "Spoken Things" (found on Get Rich Quick), parody of "Broken Wings" by Mr. Mister
43 "Free Indeed" (found on Xit Ego Lopa), parody of "T.N.T." by AC/DC
43 "Fly Away From Hell" (found on Classics: 70's), parody of "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC


Mon., Jan. 30 - Mark 10-12

Chapter 10

14 "Little Youth Group" (found on Conspiracy No. 56), parody of "Little Deuce Coupe" by The Beach Boys
17 "Full of Yourself (Distinguished Young Man)" (found on Sandwich Platter), parody of "Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man)" by Styx
18 "No One is Good But One" (found on Soundproof), parody of "Only the Good Die Young" by Billy Joel
27 "God Can Do " (found on Rock's in Their Heads), parody of "Katmandu " by Bob Seger
33 "I Have to Die First" (found on Easter Standard Time), parody of "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor
35 "Let Me Sit Next to Messiah" (found on Prehysterical), parody of "Fire" by The Jimi Hendrix Experience
45 "Selling the Dogma" (found on Zebraic), parody of "Selling the Drama" by Live
46 "Bartimaeus Eyes" (found on Wise Up and Rock), parody of "Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes

Chapter 11

8 "Hosanna" (found on Easter Standard Time), parody of "Rosanna" by Toto
9 "The Promised One" (found on Overdue Books), parody of "Der Kommissar" by After the Fire
15 "He Really Got Mad" (found on The Boys Aren't Backin' Down), parody of "You Really Got Me" by The Kinks
24 "Better Than Exorcism" (found on Apoplectic), parody of "Good" by Better Than Ezra

Chapter 12

10 "Special Stone" (found on Hot Potato Soup), parody of "(I'm Not Your) Stepping Stone" by the Monkees
17 "So Render (to Caesar)" (found on Recovery), parody of "Surrender" by Cheap Trick
18 "Dumb Questions" (found on That's Too Bad), parody of "Come Dancing" by The Kinks
30 "Love & Kisses" (found on Classics: Party), parody of "Rock and Roll All Night" by Kiss
41 "Does Anybody Really Know What Tithing Is" (found on Churchigo III EP), parody of "Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is" by Chicago


Mon., Jan. 31 - Mark 13-16

Chapter 13

1 "Casket Place" (found on I Know You Are but What Am I?), parody of "Basket Case" by Green Day
5 "Little-Read Bible Book" (found on Classics: Oldies), parody of "Lil' Red Riding Hood" by Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs
9 "The Bible Countdown" (found on Only a Glorified Cover Band), parody of "The Final Countdown" by Europe
22 "What Is and Will Forever Be" (found on Isn't Wasn't Ain't), parody of "What is and What Should Never Be" by Led Zeppelin
31 "Bible O'Really" (found on That's Too Bad), parody of "Baba O'Riley" by The Who
31 "Message in the Bible" (found on Only a Glorified Cover Band), parody of "Message in a Bottle" by the Police

Chapter 14

10 "Broke a Loaf of Bread" (found on Sandwich Platter), parody of "Locomotive Breath" by Jethro Tull
10 "That's Unbelief" (found on Conspiracy No. 56), parody of "Bad Company" by Bad Company
18 "One of These Guys" (found on Easter Standard Time), parody of "One of These Nights" by The Eagles
22 "Communion Ain't Just Bread Now" (found on Singles Group), parody of "Communication Breakdown" by Led Zeppelin
24 "I Want a New Covenant" (found on Conspiracy No. 56), parody of "I Want a New Drug" by Huey Lewis & The News
37 "Although None Could Watch an Hour" (found on Easter Standard Time), parody of "All Along the Watchtower" by Jimi Hendrix
72 "Embarrassing Moments" (found on That's Too Bad), parody of "American Woman" by The Guess Who

Chapter 15

2 "Too Much Grime on My Hands" (found on Easter Standard Time), parody of "Too Much Time on My Hands" by Styx
39 "Imagine How He Loves Us " (found on Rock's in Their Heads), parody of " Imaginary Lover " by Atlanta Rhythm Section
46 "Lived the Day You Died" (found on Classics: Christmas), parody of "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem Featuring Rihanna

Chapter 16

1 "Last Night" (found on Easter Standard Time), parody of "Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam
1 "Huge Slumber Party" (found on Easter Standard Time), parody of "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon
1 "They Didn't Believe Her" (found on Come See, Come Saw), parody of "Daydream Believer" by The Monkees
6 "Easter" (found on Quilt), parody of "Easy" by The Commodores
9 "Magdalena" (found on Easter Standard Time), parody of "Macarena" by Los Del Rio
12 "Emmaus" (found on Easter Standard Time), parody of "Shambala" by Three Dog Night
17 "Some Signs and Wonders Follow" (found on Prehysterical), parody of "Some Kind of Wonderful" by Grand Funk


Wed., Feb. 1 - Luke 1-3

Chapter 1

1 "Not Some Old Fantasy" (found on Recovery), parody of "Rock and Roll Fantasy" by Bad Company
5 "Elizabeth's Song" (found on recent single), parody of "In Your Room" by The Bangles
27 "Virgin" (found on Handheld Messiah), parody of "Urgent" by Foreigner
41 "Too Pregnant" (found on Hot Potato Soup), parody of "Two Princes" by The Spin Doctors

Chapter 2

1 "Eve of Instruction" (found on recent single), parody of "Eve of Destruction" by Barry McGuire
7 "Cut-Rate Hotel" (found on Handheld Messiah), parody of "Heartbreak Hotel" by Elvis Presley
7 "Hotel Can't Afford Ya" (found on Classics: Christmas), parody of "Hotel California" by The Eagles
7 "Manger" (found on Classics: Christmas), parody of "Angel" by Shaggy (featuring Rayvon)
8 "Bethlehem's Boy" (found on Classics: Christmas), parody of "My Best Friend's Girl" by The Cars
11 "Child King" (found on Handheld Messiah), parody of "Wild Thing" by Tone Lōc
15 "God's Child in the City" (found on Very Vicarious), parody of "Hot Child in the City" by Nick Gilder
18 "Tip From an Angel" (found on Classics: Christmas), parody of "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder
32 "Isaiah 9-1-2" (found on Overdue Books), parody of "I Got A Line on You" by Spirit
41 "JC's Mom" (found on Classics: Christmas), parody of "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne
51 "Christ in the Stable" (found on Handheld Messiah), parody of "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin

Chapter 3

21 "Triune Godhead" (found on I Know You Are but What Am I?), parody of "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones
23"Rock and Roots" (found on Classics: 70's), parody of "Rock and Roll" by Led Zeppelin


Thu., Feb. 2 - Luke 4-6

Chapter 4

1 "The Devil Went Down to Jordan" (found on Classics: Country), parody of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by Charlie Daniels
4 "Trooth" (found on Classics: 90's), parody of "Smooth" by Santana Featuring Rob Thomas
18 "Oppression" (found on Never Before, but Then Again...), parody of "Obsession" by Animotion
24 "You're So Plain" (found on Loaded 45s), parody of "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon

Chapter 5

1 "Get a Bite" (found on Classics: 70's), parody of "Let it Ride" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive
12 "Lonesome Leper" (found on Overdue Books), parody of "Lonesome Loser" by The Little River Band
16 "Get Serene" (found on Decent Alternative), parody of "Glycerine" by Bush
18 "I'm Cured" (found on Soundproof), parody of "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz
31 "Patients" (found on Play Nice), parody of "Patience" by Guns N' Roses

Chapter 6

6 "Galilee (The Man with the Withered Hand)" (found on Come See, Come Saw), parody of "Valerie" by Steve Winwood
14 "Apostle Me" (found on Classics: 70's, Vol. 2), parody of "Rock 'n Me" by Steve Miller Band
15 "God's Zealot" (found on Only a Glorified Cover Band), parody of "Godzilla" by Blue Öyster Cult
22 "No One Likes You" (found on From Hair to Eternity), parody of "No One Like You" by The Scorpions
29 "Expected to Love" (found on From Hair to Eternity), parody of "Addicted to Love" by Robert Palmer
31 "Like Piranha Fish" (found on Apolog80s: Back from the Future), parody of "My Prerogative" by Bobby Brown
37 "Judge" (found on Wise Up and Rock), parody of "Jump" by Van Halen
46 "Letterman" (found on Ticked), parody of "Betterman" by Pearl Jam
47 "Rocky Start" (found on The Boys Aren't Backin' Down), parody of "Rockstar" by Nickelback
48 "The Whole Darn Roof Leaks" (found on Unconditional Releases), parody of "Hold on Loosely" by 38 Special


Fri., Feb. 3 - Luke 7-9

Chapter 7

11 "Nain" (found on Xit Ego Lopa), parody of "Name" by Goo Goo Dolls
22 "Goodnews" (found on Loaded 45s), parody of "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins
28 "Shoestring Tie-er" (found on The Boys Aren't Backin' Down), parody of "Shooting Star" by Bad Company
37 "Maybe Madonna" (found on Xit Ego Lopa), parody of "Lady Madonna" by the Beatles

Chapter 8

1 "Wish You Could Hear" (found on Soundproof), parody of "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd
2 "Magdalena" (found on Easter Standard Time), parody of "Macarena" by Los Del Rio
5 "Garden My Heart" (found on Quilt), parody of "Harden My Heart" by Quarterflash
5 "Jewish Farm" (found on Sandwich Platter), parody of "Junior's Farm" by Wings
5 "Wherever You Will Sow" (found on Classics: Lite), parody of "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling
10 "Parable Guy" (found on Classics: Lite), parody of "American Pie" by Don McLean
17 "The Stuff That God'll Watch" (found on Churchigo III EP), parody of "The Stuff You Gotta Watch" by Joe Bonamassa
19 "James" (found on Conspiracy No. 56), parody of "Jane" by Jefferson Starship
22 "Swimmer" (found on Classics: Heavy), parody of "Slither" by Velvet Revolver
24 "God and I Know" (found on Vision Gets Clearer As We Get Closer), parody of "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex
33 "Handle With Prayer" (found on Nichey), parody of "Handle with Care" by The Traveling Wilburys
42 "Shovin', Crushin', Squeezin'" (found on Recovery), parody of "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'" by Journey
43 "She's Got Cooties" (found on That's Too Bad), parody of "She's a Beauty" by The Tubes
54 "Wake Up Talitha Cumi" (found on Classics: Oldies), parody of "Wake Up Little Susie" by The Everly Brothers

Chapter 9

11 "Can't Eat Enough" (found on Classics: 70's), parody of "Can't Get Enough" by Bad Company
11 "I'm Gonna Feed (500 Mouths)" (found on Classics: 90's), parody of "I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)" by The Proclaimers
23 "Livin' What Jesus Spoke Of" (found on Classics: Party), parody of "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin
25 "Gain in Vain (Can't Buy Me)" (found on Vision Gets Clearer As We Get Closer), parody of "Train In Vain (Stand By Me)" by The Clash
28 "Heavenly Hill" (found on Classics: 2000's), parody of "Beverly Hills" by Weezer
37 "Come on, Heal the Boy" (found on Music Is As Music Does), parody of "Cum on Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot
62 "Offer Your Prayer" (found on Unconditional Releases), parody of "Scarborough Fair/Canticle" by Simon & Garfunkel


Sat., Feb. 4 - Luke 10-12

Chapter 10

2 "Unfinished Job" (found on Play Nice), parody of "Unskinny Bop" by Poison
12 "The Voice of Sodom" (found on New and Used Hits, Disc 1), parody of "The Boys of Summer" by Don Henley
18 "Devil Fell" (found on Singles Group), parody of "Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol
29 "On the Road, Away from Home" (found on That's Too Bad), parody of "Take Me Home, Country Roads" by John Denver
29 "Turn to Luke" (found on From Hair to Eternity), parody of "Turn Me Loose" by Loverboy
38 "Miss Martha" (found on Classics: Heavy), parody of "Miss Murder" by AFI

Chapter 11

2 "Talk Daily to Me" (found on From Hair to Eternity), parody of "Talk Dirty to Me" by Poison
3 "Good Trend" (found on Decent Alternative), parody of "Girlfriend" by Matthew Sweet
10 "I Want in That Place" (found on Classics: 90's), parody of "I Want it That Way" by The Backstreet Boys
29 "Some Sign from Above" (found on Singles Group), parody of "Sunshine of Your Love" by Cream
30 "Man on the Run" (found on Minor League), parody of "Band on the Run" by Paul McCartney & Wings
31 "Sheba" (found on Play Nice), parody of "She Bop" by Cyndi Lauper
32 "What's in Nahum" (found on Minor League), parody of "What's Your Name" by Lynyrd Skynyrd
46 "Ego Scuffle " (found on Rock's in Their Heads), parody of " Lido Shuffle " by Boz Scaggs
47 "Parrseverance" (found on Get Rich Quick), parody of "St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion)" by John Parr

Chapter 12

1 "Rollin' in the Yeast" (found on Singles Group), parody of "Reelin' in the Years" by Steely Dan
4 "(Don't Fear) The People" (found on Braggadocious), parody of "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" by Blue Öyster Cult
7 "It's All in God's Control" (found on Soundproof), parody of "It's Only Rock and Roll" by the Rolling Stones
7 "Something of Value" (found on Never Before, but Then Again...), parody of "Something About You" by Level 42
8 "Midlife Confession" (found on Conspiracy No. 56), parody of "Midnight Confessions" by The Grass Roots
9 "You Gotta Go" (found on I Know You Are but What Am I?), parody of "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette
15 "Greed River" (found on Vision Gets Clearer As We Get Closer), parody of "Green River" by Creedence Clearwater Revival
16 "Your Money Don't Last" (found on Conspiracy No. 56), parody of "Your Mama Don't Dance" by Loggins and Messina
22 "Birdie in Thy Hand" (found on Decent Alternative), parody of "Burden In My Hand" by Soundgarden
24 "Cheap Birds" (found on Classics: 70's), parody of "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd
40 "The Wonder of Christmas" (found on Double Take), parody of "I Wish" by Stevie Wonder
56 "Telescoper " (found ona Rock's in Their Heads), parody of "Under My Wheels " by Alice Cooper
58 "Let's End the Fight Together" (found on Music Is As Music Does), parody of "Let's Spend the Night Together" by The Rolling Stones