Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums
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09.18.20The Stories Behind the Songs on the New Single
09.18.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 19
09.18.20ApX Episode 139 This Weekend
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09.18.20Bible Reading Update: Nehemiah 1-Job 21
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09.11.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 18
09.11.20New USBs on the Way
09.11.20ApX USBs Contain Complete Catalog
09.04.20The Stories Behind the Songs on the New Single
09.04.20How to Donate Online or by Mail
09.04.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 17
09.02.20New Single, 2 New Matching Donors
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08.31.20We Need Help but Fan Will Match Donations
08.28.20From a New Fan in Virginia
08.28.20ApX Reaching Kids in Canada
08.28.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 16
08.28.20Clues for 2020 Single #15
08.21.20Encouragement from FL, SD, TN, TX & VA
08.21.20Fan in Kenya Reacts to New Single
08.21.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 15
08.17.20New Single: East Coast 80's, West Coast 90's
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08.11.20Weekly News Update
08.11.20New Video from Our 25th Anniversary Show
08.08.20Alphabetical ApologetiX IV: The Final Frontier
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08.07.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 13
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07.18.20A Bad Case of Mono (and How It was Overcome)
07.18.20The 365-Day Album Challenge: Week 10
07.14.20New Video from Todd Waites
07.13.20New Single: '83 & '97
07.11.20The Meaning Behind the Title of Our New CD
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07.03.20Next CD Coming Soon: What's It Called?
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04.13.20This Week's News Update: CD BOGO Ends Tonight
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Are the Members of ApologetiX on Steroids?
Thu., Aug. 4. 2005 1:31am EDT

With the heightened media attention on steroids in the world of sports today and allegations swirling around superstars from Rafael Palmeiro to Lance Armstrong, it was only a matter of time till the question arose, "Is ApologetiX on steroids?"

Apparently the controversy started with lead singer J. Jackson, whom some have said resembles famous pro wrestler "Ric Flair without the steroids." As Jackson pointed out today at a news conference with all five band members, "Some people took that as meaning I would look like Ric Flair if I hadn't taken steroids -- implying that I had -- but they meant I look like Ric Flair would if he hadn't taken steroids."

Further confusing things, Jackson said he was diagnosed with Graves Disease in the fall of 2002 and had to have his thyroid disabled. Because of this, he takes a pill called Synthroid every day, once a day. "Synthroid, steroid," he said, letting the words roll off his tongue. "I think you can see how confusion could occur in some peoples minds."

But what about the whispers concerning bass player Keith Haynie -- from whither do they come? "Video games," said Haynie. "I collect old video games. I told some kid I liked 'Asteroids,' and he misheard me and thought I said 'steroids.' Next thing you know people say I'm advocating that kids should take steroids. I never said that. But I do think kids should play Asteroids. It's a cool game."

Drummer Bill "Moose" Rieger claimed he was implicated via a similar miscommunication. "I'm a huge Star Wars fan," he confessed. "I'll admit to that much. I jokingly told a fan after a concert that some of my best friends were androids, and he thought I said some of my best friends were on 'andro' and 'steroids.'" (Editor's note: "Andro" is the short form of the word "androstenedione," the muscle-building supplement made famous by baseball slugger Mark McGwire.)

Although not a full-time member of the band, even keyboardist Bill Hubuaer has not gone unscathed. "Yeah, I got sucked into the same vortex of half truths," he said. "As a musician and a producer (for the progressive Christian rock band Ten Point Ten), I really love the sound of a good stereo recording, especially when it comes to progressive rock music like Yes, Genesis and Pink Floyd. I was telling the other guys in the band that 'stereo Floyd' was awesome, and some passerby thought I said 'steroids' were awesome. But in reality, it was all a ghastly mistake."

Lead guitarist and producer Karl Messner, the last member implicated in the scandal, says he was the victim of a reporter who lacked "good listening skills." He want on to explain, "He came to me and asked about the other four guys, and I said, 'Look, I've known these guys for a long time. These are their natural physiques. Stop this crazy witch hunt! I'm going to get paranoid.' The reporter wrote that I said, 'I'm going to get steroids.' I did not say that."

Despite the denials of all five band members, questions still remain. If not steroids, then what about human growth hormone? After all, how many other Christian parody bands have five members who are all at least six feet tall? Stay tuned to apologetix.com for further developments.