Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums
64,639
as of March 27, 2017

<< Back to the fan club


Search Past News:

Sort by Relevance Date

Yesterday's News:

03.27.17New CD in Stock, ApX 25th Anniversary Today
03.27.17Come to Our 25th Anniversary Show in August
03.25.17Get Our Complete Library on USB
03.24.17How to Donate Online or By Mail
03.24.17Custom ApX Lapel Pins Available
03.24.17Moose Music: Rieger Releases Solo Project
03.24.17New CD in Stock: Buy 1, Get 1 Free
03.21.17New Single Spoofs 70s & 90s
03.21.17Get Multiple Downloads for Any Size Donation
03.21.17What Songs Are on the New CD, Very Vicarious?
03.17.17Australian Fan Encouraged by ApX Song
03.17.17Clues for This Weekend's Single
03.16.17ApX Fan Battles Pancreatic Cancer
03.16.17Apolo-Vet-iX: Dog's Doc Digs ApX
03.09.17"1000 Tracks for 100 Bucks" Ends Sunday
03.09.17The Title and Theme of Our Upcoming 47th CD
03.09.17Jewish Believer in Wyoming is a New ApX Fan
03.09.17ApX Supplies Soundtrack for Sunday Shift
03.07.17Bill "Moose" Rieger Set to Release New CD
03.06.17New Single Spoofs the Swingin' 60's
03.04.17ApX Fan Moving to Nepal for Missions
03.04.17Good News from Peewee Valley KY
03.04.17ApX Singer Does Radio Interview in Clearwater FL
03.04.17Todd Waites Back in States from Nicaragua
03.04.17Clues for Sunday Night's Single
02.22.17Amazing Terry Bradshaw Football Card Testimony
02.22.17Longtime TX Fan Takes ApX with Him to OK
02.22.17Pardon Me, Boy, Was That the Chattanooga New Two?
02.22.17New Single Spoofs Foreigner & Spin Doctors
02.22.17Fan Will Match Your Donations Through Tuesday
02.20.17New Single, Lapel Pins & More
02.16.17From Longtime Fans in California & Alaska
02.16.17From a New Fan in Missouri
02.16.17Virginia Fan Likes Latest CD and Fan Testimonies
02.16.17Clues for Our Next Single
02.16.17Prayer Request for Fan's Mother
02.13.17We Need Help But We Have a Gift For Our Helpers
02.09.17California Fan Echoes Our Sentiments
02.08.17New Single Spoofs Classic Rockers & New Wavers
02.08.17Who Says Pittsburghers Can't Be Oilers Fans?
02.08.17From a New Fan in Florida
02.08.17Missionary Wears ApX Shirt in Nine Nations
02.06.17New Single (70s & 80s), New USBs, 1000 Tracks Deal
02.01.17Clues for Our Next Single
02.01.17ApX "Sirens" Video Impacts Cleveland Congregation
02.01.17Wyoming Woman Uses Us for Sunday School
02.01.17Fan Has Message for Other ApX Fans
01.25.17ApX Keyboardist Becomes a Grandfather
01.25.17Sharing ApX (and the Gospel) on the Job in Oregon
01.25.17"Alexa, Play ApologetiX"
01.25.17Introducing ApX to Apaches in AZ
01.25.17Filipino Pastor is an ApX Fan
01.23.17Prayer Request for Fan's Wife
01.23.17New Single Spoofs '90s & 00's
01.20.17Clues for Sunday's Single
01.16.17Half Off & BOGO Specials End Tuesday Night
01.13.17Fan's Disease is Like "Science Fiction Horror Story"
01.13.17ApX is Standard Missionary Equipment in Mexico?
01.13.17Pastor Encouraged by ApX Song & Songbook
01.13.17"Buy 1 Get 1" New CD Special Ends Tuesday
01.13.17Half Off Ends Tuesday Night
01.05.17Half-Off Sale Ends Soon
01.05.17Songbook Helps Canadian Fan with Daily Devotions
01.05.17One-Year Bible-Reading Plan for Late Starters
01.05.17Wisconsin Fan Gives Away Hundreds of ApX CDs
01.01.17New Year's Single: 70's Superstars
12.29.16USB Drives Back in Stock
12.29.162016: The Year in Music Parody
12.28.16Get Multiple Downloads for Any Size Donation
12.28.16Clues for Our Next Single
12.28.16Encouraging Words from Thailand to Myrtle Beach
12.22.16About Last Week's Tricky Clues
12.22.16ApX Guitarist Gets Engaged
12.22.16ApologetiX Needs Help for Christmas
12.21.16Watching ApX Christmas Videos on YouTube
12.19.16New Single Spoofs 1969 & 1979
12.14.16New CD in Stock: Buy 1, Get 1 Free
12.13.16Deadlines for Delivery Before Christmas
12.13.16Clues for This Weekend's Single
12.12.16New CD in Stock (Buy 1 Get 1), USBs are Back
12.08.16Complete Your ApX Christmas Playlist
12.08.16What Songs Are on the New CD?
12.06.16New Christmas Single Released
12.02.16Clues for Sunday's Christmas Single
12.02.16ApX Gets Rave Review in Christian Musician Magazine
12.01.16ApX Soundman Becomes Amazon Success Story
11.24.16Hubie Hits #7 on the Billboard Charts
11.21.16New Single: #1 Hits from Either End of the 80's
11.18.16Last Wkd in OH & Future Touring
11.18.16New Video: The Sound of Sirens
11.17.16The Title and Theme of Our Upcoming 46th CD
11.17.16Clues for This Weekend's Single
11.17.16Wise Up and Rock is Back in Stock
11.09.16Saturday: Columbus OH with Todd on Keys
11.06.16New Single: 70s Funk & 80s Country
11.03.16New Video: Fishin' on a Pier
11.03.16An Old Favorite CD Returns Soon
11.03.16Congratulations, Jimmy & Keith!
11.03.16Clues for This Weekend's Single
10.30.16Unfortunately We Still Need Help & Prayer

Keith Haynie: The Nomar Garciaparra of Nomenclature
Sun., Sep. 24. 2006 3:51am EDT

In 1965, Shirley "Shirley Shirley Bo Birley" Ellis scored one of the year's biggest hit singles with a song called "The Name Game." In 1981, Kim "Bette Davis Eyes" Carnes had one of the year's biggest hit albums "Mistaken Identity." In 2006, the hits keep coming for our bass player, Keith "Insert Name Here" Haynie, whose life is a perpetual name game as a result of multiple mistaken identities.

This process is called "stanning," because it all started back in 1996 at a Waffle House in Georgia, when a waitress mistakenly called him "Stan." Since then, Keith has gone acquired 30 new first names. Here's the latest from our good friend and "Seamstress of the South," Wanda Rose Bush:

I was at the pre-school nursery yesterday sitting with Jacob & Eli, my pastor's kids (a/k/a the Barenaked Babies) while their mom went to the dentist. Keith called on my cell phone and they always love to talk on the phone. Eli (not quite 3) asked if it was Benny or Bobby (that's what they call Jerry --- that's another whole email...) and I told him it was Keith.

For some reason he called him "Kitty Cat."


Here is the documented progression and origin of the names in chronological order:

Stan (Waffle House in Georgia 1996)
Ted (Ohio 1997)
Gary (Bradford PA 1998)
Stu (Lock Haven PA 1999)
Curly (McDonald's in Ohio or Indiana 1999)
Kevin (on the job in Pennsylvania by a thankful customer 1999)
Baby (all-night diner in Reading PA 1999)
Kenny (Denny's in Albany NY 1999)
Rich (church in Donora PA 1999)
Speedo (church in Donora PA by a pastor 1999)
Lee (concert in Houston TX 2000)
Mr. Galparin (airplane on Texas trip 2000)
John Crawford (I can't remember where but it happened 2000)
Brian (concert in Kansas 2000)
Frank (I can't remember where, but it happened 2000)
Sean (concert in Austin TX 2001)
Mark (concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Omar (same concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Cliff (photographer who took publicity shots 2001)
Ryan (member of Poor Baker's Dozen called him that at a concert in Minnesota 2001)
Ed (some lady said this to Keith's wife, Krista, in October 3 2001)
Kent (Mickey Hall in Oklahoma July 2002, according to her husband, Tom)
Heath (lady at hotel desk in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Pete (concert promoter in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Brad (DJ Dave Purin at the WJLU in Daytona/Port Orange FL - September 2003)
Naynie (stage plot in Colorado Springs CO - August 2005)
Kelly (person at Bismarck ND concert - December 2005)
Jeff (lady at his church in a Christmas card - December 2005)
Ken (TSA guy at the Pittsburgh Airport - May 2006)
Craig (concert helper in La Quinta CA - May 2006)
Kitty Cat (child on the phone - September 2006)

And those are just the first names! His last name has been misinterpreted as Haynes, Hiney (a couple of times -- most recently over a loudspeaker at the Minnesota airport in July 2006), and Hayner, in a Grand Rapids newspaper article in June 2006.

Remember: We don't count it if somebody TRIES to give Keith a new name. The beauty of this list of names is that they were names used by people who unintentionally got Keith's name wrong. No cheating!