Crowd shot masthead ApologetiX Logo Keith Haynie plays bassBill Hubauer plays lead guitarJ. Jackson sings leadJimmy Vegas Tanner plays drums
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01.15.22New CD BOGO Ends Sunday Night
01.15.22Bible-Reading Update: Nahum 1-Matthew 12
01.15.22Influential Albums: 610-616
01.15.22Clues for 2022 Single #1
01.15.22How to Donate & How to Get Multiple MP3s
01.15.22This Week's ApX Radio Show
01.15.22How to Donate Online or by Mail
01.15.22Another ApX Top 10 from Fort Wayne IN
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01.15.22Prayer Request Updates on Three Friends
01.10.22This Week's News Bulletin
01.07.22No New Single Till Next Weekend
01.07.22How to Donate & How to Get Multiple MP3s
01.07.22Influential Albums: 603-609
01.07.22Another ApX Top 10 from Athens GA
01.07.22Another ApX Daughter in the Studio
01.04.22This Week's News Bulletin
12.31.21Influential Albums: 596-602
12.31.21Good News for Bill Turner
12.31.21Update on Richard Sadowski
12.30.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 22nd Single
12.29.21New Single Is Great and Fabulous
12.27.21Get Over 1440 Tracks for $100 This Week
12.25.21How to Get Multiple Singles or Our Complete Library
12.25.21New York Fan Lists His ApX Top 10
12.25.21What's on the Apolog80s: Back from the Future CD?
12.25.21What's on the Apolog80s: Back from the Future CD?
12.25.21Clues for 2021 Single #22
12.24.21Influential Albums: 589-595
12.19.21This Week's News Bulletin
12.18.21Serious Prayer Request for the Jennings Family
12.18.21Influential Albums: 582-588
12.18.21Gettysburg Fan Lists His ApX Top 10
12.18.21The Next ApX CD: What's It Called, When's It Coming?
12.18.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 21st Single
12.13.21New Single: The 70's Are Back at Last
12.11.21Influential Albums: 575-581
12.11.21Two ApologetiX Members Release New Christmas Song
12.11.21More Memories of CVB from His Wife
12.10.21In Memoriam: Chris VonBartheld
12.09.21More Goodies from Micah: Everybody Loves Cookies
12.04.21Good News Prayer Update for ApX Fan Bill Turner
12.04.21New Single: '83 & '84
12.04.21CVB of ApX Needs Much Prayer
12.04.21Go Christmas Shopping with an ApologetX Alumnus
12.03.21Influential Albums: 568-574
12.03.21Improvements Made on Another Recent Single
12.03.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 20h Single
11.27.21Christmas Playlist: A Month's Worth of Parodies
11.27.21Influential Albums: 561-567
11.27.21Kansas Fan Lists Her ApX Top 10
11.27.21How to Help the Studio Where We Record (It's Free)
11.27.21New USBs Include New CD and Latest Single
11.23.21This Week's News Bulletin
11.20.21How to Get the New ApX Digital Interactive Songbook
11.20.21How to Donate & How to Get Multiple MP3s
11.20.21Wyoming Fan Lists Her ApX Top 10
11.20.21Prayer Update on Bill Turner
11.19.21Influential Albums: 554-560
11.16.21This Week's News Bulletin
11.13.21Influential Albums: 547-553
11.13.21New CD BOGO Extended by Request
11.13.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 19th Single
11.08.21New Single ('80 & '84)
11.06.21We Changed Two Songs on Our Last Two Singles
11.06.21Serious Prayer Update: Bill Turner
11.05.21Influential Albums: 540-546
11.03.21This Week's News Bulletin
10.30.21Happy Prayer Request Update: Bill Turner
10.30.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 18th Single
10.30.21Influential Albums: 533-539
10.25.21New Single: '86 & '89
10.22.21Four Members Celebrate ApX Anniversaries
10.22.21Sad Prayer Request Update: Angela Walker
10.22.21Influential Albums: 526-532
10.21.21Clues for 2021 Single #18
10.16.21Prayer Request Updates: Angela Walker & Bill Turner
10.15.21Another Rieger Daughter Becomes a Bride
10.15.21Influential Albums: 519-525
10.14.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 17th Single
10.13.21New Single: '85 & '86
10.09.21Updated on Three Prayer Requests from Last Week
10.08.21Influential Albums: 512-518
10.08.21What's on the Never, but Then Again Before CD?
10.04.21This Week's News Bulletin
10.03.21Important Prayer Requests from Three Fans
10.03.21Influential Albums: 505-511
10.02.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 16th Single
09.30.21More Info on the Upcoming ApologetiX CD
09.28.21New Single: 80's Solo Superstars
09.25.21Next CD Coming Next Month
09.25.21Influential Albums: 498-504
09.25.21New USB Flash Drives Include New CD & Single
09.20.21Couple Will Match All Donations Thru Thursday
09.17.21Urgent Prayer Request for Bill Turner
09.17.21From a Native American ApX Fan in Montana
09.17.21Influential Albums: 491-497
09.17.21The Stories Behind the Songs on Our 15th Single
09.15.21New Single: 80's One-Hit Wonders (Almost)
09.12.21Clues for 2021 Single #15

Keith Haynie: The Nomar Garciaparra of Nomenclature
Sun., Sep. 24. 2006 3:51am EDT

In 1965, Shirley "Shirley Shirley Bo Birley" Ellis scored one of the year's biggest hit singles with a song called "The Name Game." In 1981, Kim "Bette Davis Eyes" Carnes had one of the year's biggest hit albums "Mistaken Identity." In 2006, the hits keep coming for our bass player, Keith "Insert Name Here" Haynie, whose life is a perpetual name game as a result of multiple mistaken identities.

This process is called "stanning," because it all started back in 1996 at a Waffle House in Georgia, when a waitress mistakenly called him "Stan." Since then, Keith has gone acquired 30 new first names. Here's the latest from our good friend and "Seamstress of the South," Wanda Rose Bush:

I was at the pre-school nursery yesterday sitting with Jacob & Eli, my pastor's kids (a/k/a the Barenaked Babies) while their mom went to the dentist. Keith called on my cell phone and they always love to talk on the phone. Eli (not quite 3) asked if it was Benny or Bobby (that's what they call Jerry --- that's another whole email...) and I told him it was Keith.

For some reason he called him "Kitty Cat."


Here is the documented progression and origin of the names in chronological order:

Stan (Waffle House in Georgia 1996)
Ted (Ohio 1997)
Gary (Bradford PA 1998)
Stu (Lock Haven PA 1999)
Curly (McDonald's in Ohio or Indiana 1999)
Kevin (on the job in Pennsylvania by a thankful customer 1999)
Baby (all-night diner in Reading PA 1999)
Kenny (Denny's in Albany NY 1999)
Rich (church in Donora PA 1999)
Speedo (church in Donora PA by a pastor 1999)
Lee (concert in Houston TX 2000)
Mr. Galparin (airplane on Texas trip 2000)
John Crawford (I can't remember where but it happened 2000)
Brian (concert in Kansas 2000)
Frank (I can't remember where, but it happened 2000)
Sean (concert in Austin TX 2001)
Mark (concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Omar (same concert in Sept/Oct 2001 - can't remember where)
Cliff (photographer who took publicity shots 2001)
Ryan (member of Poor Baker's Dozen called him that at a concert in Minnesota 2001)
Ed (some lady said this to Keith's wife, Krista, in October 3 2001)
Kent (Mickey Hall in Oklahoma July 2002, according to her husband, Tom)
Heath (lady at hotel desk in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Pete (concert promoter in Lansdale PA - May 2003)
Brad (DJ Dave Purin at the WJLU in Daytona/Port Orange FL - September 2003)
Naynie (stage plot in Colorado Springs CO - August 2005)
Kelly (person at Bismarck ND concert - December 2005)
Jeff (lady at his church in a Christmas card - December 2005)
Ken (TSA guy at the Pittsburgh Airport - May 2006)
Craig (concert helper in La Quinta CA - May 2006)
Kitty Cat (child on the phone - September 2006)

And those are just the first names! His last name has been misinterpreted as Haynes, Hiney (a couple of times -- most recently over a loudspeaker at the Minnesota airport in July 2006), and Hayner, in a Grand Rapids newspaper article in June 2006.

Remember: We don't count it if somebody TRIES to give Keith a new name. The beauty of this list of names is that they were names used by people who unintentionally got Keith's name wrong. No cheating!